I felt Jude’s arm inch forward, and something urged me to stay still no matter how much I wanted to reach for him. I kept my eyes closed as his warm breath fanned across my chin. My cap was tugged from my head, and then his fingers burrowed in my hair. It felt so amazing, I could’ve groaned out loud. But I remained motionless, not wanting to ruin the moment.
When I blinked open my eyes, his face was so close, I could practically taste his minty breath on my lips. I didn’t dare inhale as he studied the line of my lips, the curve of my neck. The tips of his fingers hovered over my eyebrow, and then his knuckles grazed my cheek.
His lips slipped dangerously close to mine. I couldn’t risk frightening him away, even as my heart was clawing its way out of my chest. I begged and pleaded and prayed that he’d slant his mouth across mine.
Instead, he ghosted his lips directly above, mere inches away, as if we were mirror images. And as he stared into my eyes while hovering over me, I was gone. Dead. Dying of hunger. Thirst. To finally sip from his lips, taste his tongue.
His lips changed course, gliding to my cheek, then dragging to my ear. His breath was hot, and I moaned, unable to contain my longing any further. I swallowed in large gulps as my hands fisted and trembled.
His fingers traveled to my pants, palming my erection. “This alright?”
I let out a harsh breath, and as soon as I nodded, he unbuttoned my jeans and tugged down the zipper, allowing my engorged cock freedom from the tight confines of my pants.
“Jude,” I said in a labored voice. “What are you—”
“I never got to finish at the quarry. And I’ve been wanting to…been dreaming about it…” He pulled the waistline down to my hips, then gripped my erection through my underwear.
“Oh fuck,” I groaned as his knees sank to the floor.
Before I could reason through it, his hot mouth enveloped my dick straight through the material of my briefs, and I nearly burst through my skin. His lips were soft and full, and holy shit, I was already on the brink. My fingers reached for his hair, brushing the curls from his forehead so I could see exactly what he was doing to me. His mouth was soothing and almost nurturing. Then his lips drew away, and his hands inched for the waistband and yanked down the material.
“Jude, you don’t have to—”
“I need to…please.” He panted, studying my groin. “You’ve got a lovely cock.”
Before I could respond, his lips engulfed the tip and the air departed my lungs. For a guy who claimed he hadn’t been with anybody in a long while, he certainly remembered what to do. I let out a long hum.
His tongue found the slit, brushed across it, and my hips arched off the couch. His lips suctioned my head, and I squirmed, rocking my hips and prodding farther inside his mouth so that I hit the back of his throat. I was nearly blinded by arousal.
“I think I found just the thing to shut you up,” he murmured as he licked me from root to crown, likely tasting the growing desperation in my thrusts.
A laugh escaped me. “If I learned how to close my mouth, I’d never get anything out of you…” My throat emitted a low growl as he licked and sucked and nuzzled, his tongue circling and dragging lengthwise across my most sensitive vein. The sensation was completely overwhelming, pinpricks of heat twining along my skin.
I could feel him smile around my girth. He pulled off for a moment, said, “I didn’t take you for a quiet moaner.”
“Quiet or not,” I replied with a gasp, my fingers clutching his head, “you keep doing what you’re doing, and I won’t last.”
“I want to make you feel good,” he said, his lips bathing the slit again. “And taste you on my tongue.”
And that sentence in his English accent did fucking amazing things to my groin. I could feel the pyrotechnics building in my balls as they tightened and lifted. There was a tingle in my spine that had nothing to do with tennis-ball therapy, and my legs felt weightless. I knew I was about to blow.
“If you don’t move…”
But he sucked me deeper and swallowed me whole. And I fucking came down his throat. My release went on for minutes or hours—who the fuck knew—and I collapsed against the couch, breathing heavily and completely spent.
He laid his head atop my abdomen, looking smug and gratified. My fingers slipped across his gorgeous lips. “Goddamn, Jude. That mouth is amazing.”
A noise outside the door shattered the reverie of the moment. It was probably just somebody walking by the bar and tripping over a trash can. But it was all it took to snap Jude back to reality.
“We need to go,” he said, springing up.
He walked to the front of the store, and I hastily followed behind, buttoning up my jeans. He searched in all directions out the window as I pulled my cap back over my head.
“You think he’s out there somewhere?” I asked. “Is that what this is about?”
“You should leave,” he said quietly, urging me with his eyes.
And then I got it. He was definitely trying to keep me safe, even if he wasn’t directly saying how or why. Obviously, this guy was dangerous. Fuck.
“Jude.”
He didn’t answer, and seemingly satisfied that nothing was amiss out front, he strode to the back door.
When I caught up to him, I pulled him against me, my fingers gripping the front of his shirt. “Thank you,” I whispered in his ear, and he sucked in a shallow breath.
When I emerged to the lot, Smoke was on his bike near the bar’s back entrance. Though I felt uneasy, I wasn’t scared, and that in itself was alarming to me. The Disciples might be intimidating, but I didn’t feel like they were out to hurt Jude or me. Not unless I hurt them first, and I sure as hell wasn’t planning on it.
I have nothing to hide, I reminded myself as I walked to the side street where my bike was parked. I lifted my helmet to my head just as Smoke came roaring by. When I looked up, he tipped his chin toward me.
20
“You seem distracted,” Gram said, pouring some of her peach tea in a tall glass. “Who is he?”
I rushed my hand over my face. Somehow she always knew.
“I haven’t seen you this bad in a long time,” she said, a smile pulling at her lips.
“Yeah? How long?”
She thought about it a moment. “I think you know as well as I do what my answer is going to be.”
“That’s what I was afraid of.” I sipped the sweet concoction. “But this time it’s way more complicated.”
“Talk to me, darling.” She sat down and pulled out her deck of cards. She always played solitaire at the kitchen table. She said it helped get her thoughts organized.
Gram had always been the one person I sought out for heart-to-hearts. She was also the first person I came out to as a teenager. I just knew she’d understand. She always gave good advice, and I figured I had nothing to lose.
“There’s this guy who came into town a few months ago.” I took a deep breath. “He works at the Board Room and skates at the park.”
Gram’s eyebrows lifted. “Jude York?”
“How did you—” I stopped myself. Stupid question. Not only did those ladies get together for their weekly game of cards, they knew all the town’s gossip.
“Anyway,” I said, and she smiled. “He’s been coming into the shop. I’m inking a large tattoo on his back, so it’ll take a few appointments to finish.”
“And you like him more with each visit.”
“Something like that.” I paused for a moment, trying to find a way to explain. “It was a struggle to get him to talk at the beginning. Still is.”
“Do you think he feels the same way about you?” She looked down at her row of cards.
I shrugged. Then I decided I needed to tell somebody, or I would lose my mind.
“Thing is, his past seems pretty messy, and I’m not sure what his story is. I’m afraid I’m in over my head.”
She looked at me thoughtfully. No judgment. No fear. “He does seem to have plenty of rum
ors swirling around him.”
I nearly choked on my tea. “Guess you’ve heard all that stuff too.”
“Take the time to understand Jude. And maybe give him the benefit of the doubt.” She patted my hand. “Sometimes things aren’t as they seem. Just…be careful, especially with your heart.”
“I will.”
It was Thursday night, so after visiting with Gram, I met the Raw Ink crew at Zach’s Bar. I only considered heading to the Hog’s Den for a split second before giving up on the idea. Besides, I needed to connect with my friends.
Keeping my distance from the MC was the right decision, even though wanting to figure out what had Jude so freaked was killing me. But it was like coming upon a locked door time and again with no way inside. Plus, I didn’t want the Disciples to think I was coming to the bar for the wrong reasons. At least, I hoped my logic was valid. It had become so twisted in my brain, I couldn’t even think straight.
“Hey, man,” Dex said, and I could tell he was already a pitcher deep.
“Good to see you,” Nate, Jessie’s boyfriend, greeted me. I settled into a seat across from them. Emmy was nursing a drink next to me and gave me a small smile.
“You seem off lately,” Jessie said, scrutinizing me across the table. “You okay?”
God, what was with everybody? Couldn’t I be a little more quiet and introspective without people getting on my case?
“Yeah, sure,” I said.
“Still having issues with your back?” Jessie asked.
“Actually, it’s been better the last couple of days.” I thought about Jude and the tennis balls and tried hard to hide my smile. “But still think I’ll call the holistic center.”
Jessie nodded. “They’ll hook you up. They have plenty of patients with messed-up spines.”
“Why do you have problems anyway, bro?” Bennett asked. “Something happen to your back?”
“From his accident,” Dex slurred into his beer, and I stiffened. I probably should’ve guessed the day would come when he’d blurt shit out about me.
For the life of me I couldn’t get my mouth unstuck, so I just narrowed my eyes at him. He was oblivious, though, and when Bennett continued to look confused, Dex said, “It happened before we came to work at Raw Ink. His boyfriend, he…” Even in a drunken state, it was difficult to say the words, apparently. His gaze swung to mine, and right away he realized his mistake. “Fuck, Cory, sorry. Can’t take my drunk ass anywhere.”
The whole table grew silent as if they knew this was something big. But things felt different now. I was different. So I shrugged and let it out. Besides, these guys were like an extension of my family. I should’ve told them a long time ago. “Nah, it’s cool, man. It was a motorcycle accident. My boyfriend at the time…”
“The love of his life,” Dex mumbled, and his beer spilled down his shirt. Dumb fuck.
“Damon,” I said, his name rolling off my tongue. It sliced my gut a little less this time. “He died.”
Emmy gasped and immediately threw an arm around me. “Cory, we didn’t know. I’m so sorry.”
Jessie looked stricken, and reached out her hand.
“It was over three years ago, guys,” I said, eyeing each one of my friends. “But thanks.”
Bennett’s eyes softened. “So your back hasn’t hurt since then?”
“It has, just not like this. But it’s all cool.”
I could tell they had more questions, but I’d shared enough for tonight.
“Who’s up for a game of flip cup?” I said with a goofy grin on my face, and everybody laughed.
Jessie shook her head. “Guess your back isn’t that sore.”
I’d always played the role of the jokester in this dysfunctional family, but I didn’t think I could pull it off anymore. It was no longer effective anyway. Maybe it never was. The only benefit had been warding off dealing with my feelings for a short period of time. But now everything seemed to mean more, weigh more. Like a heavy blanket that doused the light but still created warmth.
After one round of the idiotic game, I noticed Emmy fidgeting next to me. I nudged her and arched my eyebrows. Her gaze darted toward the door, and I saw Travis from the shelter enter the bar. He looked around anxiously, so I lifted my hand and motioned for him to join us. Emmy smiled appreciatively at me.
“Hey, dude, glad you could come.” I gave up my seat so Travis could sit near Emmy. She introduced him to the gang, and I ordered him a beer. After a while he seemed to settle in, and I heard the two of them talking about classes and animal rights shit—in that regard, they were the perfect fit.
Jessie kept flashing me goofy grins because of how much Emmy was blushing. We were on the same page about one other thing: if Travis hurt her, he’d better hide his ass, because we had a whole crew willing to take him out.
After a while, Emmy snapped out of her Travis bubble and grinned at me. “Have you been trying that technique with Chopper?”
“What technique?” Dex asked before I could shake my head to get Emmy off the topic.
I wanted to pound Dex good tonight. But what did it matter anyway? Jude was only a friend. A friend who’d given me the most erotic blow job of my life. And whose lips I would’ve died to have anywhere on me again. If only he wasn’t so afraid to allow anybody to get too close.
“Cory didn’t tell you?” Emmy asked, and I knocked her leg beneath the table. When she threw me a clueless look, I decided to be the one to explain.
“No big thing. Chopper was a pain in the ass the other day at the new park, being a dick to another dog.”
“He was trying to dominate Patch,” Emmy said.
“Patch from the shelter?” Travis asked, then looked at Emmy. “Your Patch?”
Her eyes practically melted, and I looked away from their moment. Too sugary sweet.
“He won’t be mine for long,” she said, pouting. There had been a pre-visit with a new family this week, but I didn’t have a good feeling about them either.
“So what’s this about a technique?” Travis asked.
“Jude York hopped over the fence from the skate park and saved the day,” Emmy said, transporting me back to that moment when Jude had scaled the railing. His instincts had been innate, and I could almost picture him in the countryside. Almost. It didn’t exactly jibe with his city-boy skateboard persona. Confusing.
The whole table grew silent, everyone staring at us.
“What am I missing?” Travis leaned over and asked Emmy. Seems not everybody was in on the town gossip.
“Jude York?” Nate said. “Emo skater dude?”
Jessie burst out laughing, and I narrowed my eyes at her.
“Oh, here we go,” Dex said into his beer, remembering all too well how I snapped at him a couple of weeks back.
“He’s not emo.” I realized how defensive I sounded, so I toned it down. “He’s just quiet.”
“Does he talk in your sessions?” Bennett asked, and I shrugged. I could tell he was just curious, but it felt difficult to explain.
“Or do you talk his goddamn ear off?” Dex smirked. “Because, dude, you can talk.”
I felt a line of heat crawl across my neck. “Look who the fuck can’t shut his trap tonight,” I replied, and Jessie cracked up.
“Anyway, seems he and Cory have become friends,” Emmy said as if she knew the ins and outs of our relationship. “And he said he grew up with lots of animals.”
I let her friendship comment go and filled in more of the blanks. “He has this way with dogs. Chopper should’ve been left on his doorstep instead of mine.”
Jessie’s eyebrow arched, and thankfully, I was saved by Travis. “So what was his technique?”
“He used some kind of noise and rolled Chopper on his side,” Emmy said.
“Ah, the dominance down technique,” Travis said. “Hotly debated method, but in my opinion, effective if it’s done to command respect and without aggression.”
“Those dogs respected him,” she said. �
��He had a quiet, gentle way about him. Don’t you think, Cory?”
I nodded absently, thinking about Jude and his subdued and gentle mannerisms.
“Yeah?” Bennett said. “Does it work?”
“Works great for him,” I said, and Bennett laughed. “I’m still figuring it out.”
“Does anyone else feel like they’ve just stepped into the twilight zone?” Jessie asked.
“Whatever,” I said. “Just goes to show you shouldn’t judge anyone until you get to know them.”
Jessie leaned over. “I think somebody’s got a crush.”
“I think I’m going to kick your ass,” I said, and she grinned.
“It’s nice to see you like this, Cory.”
“Like how?”
“Maybe…grounded is the word.”
Conflicted was more like it.
21
For the next few days, I managed to refrain from going to the Hog’s Den, but I couldn’t keep away from the park. I watched Jude and his skate buddies perform in front of a modest audience of mostly wide-eyed kids. One skater was performing a trick I now recognized as the kickflip, where the board rotated 360 degrees midair. Completely mesmerized, I held my breath.
And then suddenly Jude was following behind him with the same trick, his knees rising off the ground. I thought for sure he was headed for a crash landing, but at the last moment the board flipped right side up, and he landed solidly on the wood. As if a twisted ankle wasn’t hanging in the balance.
Holy shit, kickflip indeed. Like a solid jolt to my stomach that created a shockwave through my entire body. Perfect metaphor for how that gorgeous guy made me feel.
When I moved to a bench closer to the bowl, I heard their chatter about the upcoming X Games. Jude was undertaking some maneuvers that might’ve been inspired by his excitement about the event coming to town.
During breaks he’d come visit Chopper and Ace, though I hoped it was also to see me. He’d kneel down and pet my dogs, and we’d make small talk. The tension between us was crazy thick, but we just acted like acquaintances.
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