by Austin, RB
Their hands still clasped, Cade reviewed the memories Elias pulled from his mind. Mistreatment toward the doctor, handing over his Behn responsibilities to Lucas, jealousy of any man in Emma’s life, and his uncharacteristic convos with his achs.
When the flashes of his memory stopped Cade stepped back. He waited for Elias to voice disapproval or to give a proper penance. Silence remained. Cade bent his torso and in the Trihune language said, “With your love and trust, and the strength you’ve given me, I give myself freely to the Behnshma vocation and pray my future actions are pleasing to Him.”
Elias placed his hands on Cade’s head, whispering a prayer, his lips moving but the words inaudible even to Cade’s ears. At the finish, Elias uttered the last line out loud, “With my strength and His love, I pray for your safety and success of the task trusted to you.”
Cade stood, meeting Elias’s gaze. Elias’s expression remained the same and the acceptance he saw, the same loving gaze, intensified his guilt. Punishment would have been preferred.
He gave an imperceptible nod and kneeled to the altar before standing next to Sarid. The achs, as was expected, had their heads still bowed and didn’t glance at him or show any reaction they’d been witness to the exchange. Cade bowed his head as Sarid left the line.
Cade no longer noticed the cold, hard floor underneath his bare feet as he replayed the images Elias examined. He tried to view them as his sire would, and grew sicker by the moment.
After Gabriel’s exchange was complete they knelt once more. Elias concluded the ceremony with another prayer. Their response echoed through the chamber. “Amen.”
The ceremony passed too quickly. Cade normally enjoyed the quiet moments in the temple, the peace he received from Elias’s presence and the strength surging through his body. He felt disgust over his recent actions and the soon to come unwelcome urges that’d flare the moment Elias left the chamber.
“Cade?”
Lucas stood next to him. His expression said this was not the first time he’d called his name.
“Yes?”
“Has the nheqeba been seen to tonight?”
Cade’s face tightened. Why had Lucas not waited until Elias left before mentioning her? “Yes. Martha will look in on her.”
Lucas cocked his head critically. “Are you all right?” He whispered the question but that wouldn’t matter to the beings in this room.
Gabriel and Sarid stopped talking. Elias swung his gaze to Cade. It was inconceivable he could be anything other than calm and happy with Elias near, especially after the ceremony.
Before Cade could answer, Elias was by his side. His concerned, probing gaze inspected Cade’s expression and anything else he could read from his mind.
“Perhaps Caderyn and I could have a moment alone, my sons.”
Cade avoided Elias’s scrutinizing gaze, catching the wide-eyed expressions on his achs’ faces. If Elias needed to speak to an ach he’d visit them at the HQ, never during or after a ceremony. It was important to dispel the coming urges quickly in order to focus on the Fallen.
Lucas recovered first. His gaze traveled to the uncovered altar, mouth opening.
“Caderyn and I will take care of the altar, Lucas. Thank you,” Elias said.
Lucas nodded. After one last glance at Cade, he left the room with Gabriel and Sarid.
Cade finally met Elias’s gaze.
“Come.”
Cade retrieved the cover from the cavity and together they laid it over the table of the altar. They extinguished the candles and placed them next to the cross in the center. They worked in silence, moving as if they’d done the task together many times before. When they finished, they were both standing behind it. Cade faced Elias. He was ready for his punishment. Ready for it to be over. Eager to begin the redemption he sought, the penance he’d willingly and faithfully fulfill in order to be whole again in His eyes.
“Yes, sire?” Cade asked when the chamber remained silent.
Elias raised his hand. Cade tensed, but Elias only cupped him by the back of his neck. His sire didn’t seek entrance into his mind.
“Do you know why I chose you to be the leader of the Behnshma Sept One?”
Cade thought back to his first glimpse of Elias. Lying on the ground, fever had burned through Cade’s body. He’d been days, maybe hours, from death. He’d already been a murderer when Elias found him. “No,” he said hoarsely.
“I chose you Caderyn O’Cearnaigh because of your compassion for others and for your instinctive knowledge and follow through of right and wrong. I’m proud of who you were and who you’ve become. I’ve never regretted choosing you.”
Cade’s chest tightened. He was unable to speak.
Elias leaned in. His hand still rested on Cade’s neck. “You’ve never done anything to deserve the restrictions you’ve placed on yourself.”
Cade’s words emerged in a strangled whisper. “But Sarah and now Emma.”
Elias tilted back, meeting Cade’s gaze. “Sarah’s death was not your fault.”
He began to shake his head, but stopped when Elias’s grip tightened.
“I should have followed you when you left. Required you stayed until you were aware of the changes of your body and the demands you’d have to endure.”
His mouth opened in horror. “No, sire,” he breathed. “Don’t blame yourself. The fault was mine. All mine. I couldn’t resist. I was weak. I—”
“Caderyn, are you telling me if you’d known the scent of a Follower’s blood would tempt you, you’d have allowed yourself to get close to her? That you wouldn’t have understood what was happening and stopped yourself?”
Cade opened his mouth. Closed it. Opened it again. “I’m not sure.” A multitude of thoughts ran through his head. Had all the years of remorse and regret not been necessary? No. He’d caused his children and wife’s death just as he’d opened the door to the ill man.
“Do you believe, my son, He doesn’t forgive?” Elias asked softly.
Cade’s response was immediate. “The Creator is above all. His mercy knows no limit.”
“If you speak true He forgave you the moment you sought redemption.” Elias paused. “There’s only one person you need to seek forgiveness from.”
Cade exhaled and nodded in understanding. Sarah.
“Yourself.”
Cade’s gaze flew to Elias.
“He’s forgiven you, Caderyn. Though it was never needed, I’ll tell you I forgave you the moment you told me what happened.”
Old protests and voices from the past filled his head but before he could utter one Elias spoke again.
You’re the best Behnshma leader I have. The time has come for you to accept the forgiveness our loving Creator already gave you long ago.”
Cade’s head bowed from the emotions burning in his chest. Maybe Elias spoke true, but his new indiscretions still weighed him down.
“Ah, yes. The nheqeba Follower in your home.”
Cade didn’t allow the excuses at the tip of his tongue to verbalize. He could lie to himself and his achs but he wouldn’t do the same to Elias.
“She’s lovely.”
Cade waited. “She is.”
Elias removed his hand and stepped back. Cade watched, waited.
After the brief second of silence, Elias smiled, gaze brimming with warmth. “Is there anything else I can do for you, Caderyn?”
Dumbfounded, he shook his head but made no move toward the tunnel exit.
“Do you not wish to seek the release you need?”
Elias’s presence kept the urges at bay but it was in the background, adding heat to his already warm body. “Of course,” he said, lowering his head deferentially. “Thank you, Elias, for the comfort you’ve given me. I’ve much to ponder.”
<
br /> “My love is always with you, my son, and all you’ve to do is call out in order to speak with me.”
Cade bowed then left the chamber. Before he made it to the entrance Elias’s presence had faded and the urges, barely discernible before, now overwhelmed. The time he’d spent with Elias hadn’t stopped them from building, only prolonged the effects.
His shaft lengthened and thickened. Cade picked up his pace. Every movement of the robe across the sensitive tip had him holding back a moan in part pain and part pleasure. He’d tried in the past to take care of it himself, but the overwhelming desires returned every half an hour. Mating obliterated the urges. Cade reached the stairs and in a matter of seconds the cool outside air blew across his sweaty skin. The breeze didn’t pacify him for long. He’d have to get rid of some tension before leaving to find a willing Follower. Approaching nheqebas with a tent pole in his pants wouldn’t contribute to their willingness.
Heavens, he hated the effects of the ceremony.
Cade headed to the house, turning to the stairs leading down. The pool entrance was the safest spot if he wanted to avoid anyone—Emma—in the house.
Quick movements ate up the distance and he traveled across the acres in a minute. Down the steps three at time, he punched in the code on the keypad, waited for the distinctive click and opened the thick, steel enforced door. He entered a small cubicle. A locked door leading to the gym was one step away. Cade paused and gazed into the camera in the corner of the ceiling. Seconds later the door in front of him clicked. He hurried through it. Too preoccupied with the pleasure-pain response every swipe of the robe caused and getting to his room undetected, he didn’t register the noise until it was too late. Too late to run back into the night and find another entrance.
Chapter 11
Fuck. Why hadn’t he palmed the issue in the garage?
“Cade?”
He spun, but not before he caught a glimpse of Emma in the water. She wasn’t wearing one of his T-shirts this time. Her naked shoulders and arms caused his shaft to jerk painfully in response. Holding in a groan, he faced the doors and prayed for strength.
“Are you all right?” Water sloshed then wet feet pounded across the floor.
Why was she coming closer?
“Fine,” he managed in between clenched teeth.
So close. Cade could discard his robe and be inside her warm moist heat in a matter of seconds. Fists shook at his side as he kept his body on lock down. “Get back into the pool, Emma,” he growled.
She stopped. “What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” Her warm hand tentatively touched his arm.
He inhaled sharply. Even through the fabric of the robe, the contact seared him and moisture seeped to the tip of his shaft. His eyes begin to glow, bringing the cracks in the tile floor in greater focus. Cade dug his nails into his palms, drawing blood.
He didn’t realize he was shaking until Emma’s grip on him tightened and her voice rose in alarm. “Cade! Tell me what’s wrong.”
“Please,” he croaked. “I need you to get back into the pool.”
“I’ll do no such thing until you tell me what’s wrong with you.”
“I’m fine.” Cade managed, closing his eyes. “Emma, I’m begging you.”
She gasped. Cade’s eyes flashed open. Emma was in front of him, staring at the part of his robe protruding from his body. He stifled a groan while his gaze uncontrollably ran hotly over her lithe body.
Cade had seen the scrap of a bathing suit in her townhouse room. Two pieces of the smallest amount of fabric possible. He’d contemplated not taking it. The shirt and shorts covered more of her body and produced less temptation, but she’d been so uncomfortable swimming. Cade should’ve listened to his initial instincts. The black material barely covered her private areas and left a lot of skin exposed. The way she stared at him said she wasn’t the least bit disgusted to find him extremely aroused.
Time to go.
“Emma,” he said sharply, drawing her gaze from his erection. “Leave the room.” He wasn’t sure the pool was far enough.
Another gasp. “Your eyes. They’re glowing.”
Shit. “I’ll explain later. I promise. Go.”
Emma ignored him. Her gaze trailed down his body stopping in the middle. She licked her lips at the same moment he inhaled her desire.
His bloomed in response and he groaned in pain as his unbelievable aroused shaft hardened even more. The Behn inside of him sensed her desire and knew it could sate his. Eyes wide she started toward him, arms outstretched. Cade lurched avoiding contact. “Emma,” he panted. Heavens, it had never been this painful before. Never had the instinct to take, to mark, to make her . . . his. Need consumed him. “I can’t . . . control myself . . . much longer. You need to leave.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Please.”
Emma retreated. Relief washed through him. Almost to the pool. Cade could wait until she left. He wouldn’t make it to his room, maybe not even to the locker room. She’d be expecting an explanation in the morning. Of course he wouldn’t tell her the truth. Mind sweep or not, he was not going to— “What are you doing?”
At some point she had stopped and retraced her footsteps back to him. Standing in front of him, chin raised, she said, “I want to help you.”
“You don’t know what you’re saying.” If she wouldn’t leave he’d have to find the strength to do it. Cade inched back and pain ran through his cock and up his spine. He gritted his teeth.
“I do.” Her voice held no hesitation. She slowly slid her gaze to his erection.
His cock bobbed. Cade swallowed the shooting pain. “I,” he started. His throat was dry. He licked his lips and tried again. “You won’t be able to change your mind once I start.”
“I won’t change my mind,” her voice was low, thick with arousal.
Another rain shower. He growled. Heavens. No going back now. “Take that scrap of fabric off if you wish to keep it.”
Eyebrows rose at his tone, but steady hands untied the straps at her neck. She held his gaze and let the top piece fall to the floor. Next were her bottoms until she stood in front of him naked. Her eyes were lit with desire. It was pouring. He’d never seen such a wondrous sight.
“Your turn,” she whispered.
Cade tore the robe from his body in one loud rip. The pieces streamed to the floor.
Emma’s breath hitched in her throat as her gaze roamed over his chest, abdomen, stopping at his erection. Emotions ran across her face. He kept his feet planted. “I’m sorry,” he said.
Her gaze swiveled to his.
“I can’t be gentle. I’d have liked our first time to be—”
She was across the distance quickly. “Shut up.” Arms encircled his neck and she yanked his head down.
Cade thrust his tongue into her mouth. He lifted her and drove into her warm center.
Emma inhaled sharply.
“Sorry,” Cade rasped, not sure how he managed to hold still. His shaft throbbed inside of her, each beat pulsed against the walls of her hot sheath. Somehow her pain overrode his urges.
“It’s okay,” she breathed.
When he still didn’t move, she wrapped her legs around his waist and lifted her hips before sinking down on a moan.
He echoed her pleasure. Hands on her hips, he took over. Lifting her up and down. Their labored breathing filled the room along with the slap of flesh. Emma made small sounds of pleasure. Her arms tightened around his neck.
So intense. The quick couplings in alleys or behind dirty buildings didn’t even register on the same scale. Cade wanted to slow down, to savor, to cup her breast, lick her nipple, taste her desire on his tongue, but he couldn’t stop himself. He prayed he wasn’t hurting her.
His eyes continued to glow, but
she didn’t appear afraid. Her gaze hadn’t wavered from his since they joined. Cade’s fangs throbbed with the urge to taste her blood, to claim her, but thankfully he was able to still that desire.
Emma encased him completely, accepting his long, thick length as he thrust into her over and over to the hilt. “Heavens. You’re. Wonderful.” Cade groaned. He wouldn’t go over the edge without her. Bending his head, he caught a nipple in his mouth. Her breath caught and clutched handfuls of his hair. He sucked on the pebbled hardness, running his tongue over the tip, letting his teeth graze her. Emma stiffened and cried out, her whole body tightening. She contracted around him and he bellowed as the most intense orgasm of his life ripped through him. Cade continued to pump, prolonging the pleasure for as long as he could.
With her still wrapped around him, head on his shoulder, he carried her to the steps of the pool and descended into the water. She sighed when the warm water lapped across her skin. When she lifted her head her cheeks were rosy, eyes bright.
“Wow.”
He chuckled and it caused his shaft still hard inside of her to jerk. Emma jolted and a little moan escaped her lips.
At the side of the pool he shifted until his back was to the wall. Holding her with one hand, he used the other to brush the hair from her face. “I feel the same way.”
Her fingers traced the skin by his eyes. “Your eyes are back to normal.”
Cade nodded, not wanting to explain and have her tender warm expression replaced with revulsion.
A flicker of emotion flashed across her face, too fast for him to catch. She lifted, disengaging herself, wincing.
“Are you hurt?” Guilt sunk any pleasure he’d received. “I’m sorry, chemda. I wanted to do much better with you.”
Putting a finger to his lips, her eyes softened. “I’m not hurt. A little sore. It’s been a while for me. Don’t apologize, though. I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.” Hands on his shoulders, she leaned in and replaced her finger with her lips.