by Austin, RB
Cade cleared his throat to get Martha’s attention. Gabriel, Cade was certain, knew the moment he’d walked down the hallway.
Martha stood, setting her book down, and bowed. “Yes, adohn. Is there anything I can get you?”
“A few minutes alone with the patient.” At his words, the subservience left Martha and the protective mother took over. “I won’t be long,” he added. “I’ll make sure not to tire him.”
Martha considered then nodded. “For a few minutes. If he gets up while you’re here, I’ll hold you personally responsible.” At his nod of assent, she rounded on Gabriel. Eyes narrowed, she pointed her finger, wagging it. “You’re to stay in bed unless you’d like to risk further injury by my hand.”
Gabriel lowered his gaze to the sheet. “Yes ma’am.”
The room fell silent after Martha left. Gabriel said nothing as he stared at Cade, face expressionless.
“I came to apologize.”
Gabriel’s eyebrows rose then dropped over narrowed eyes. “For what?”
“Because of what’s happened to you.” He motioned to the bandages.
Gabriel studied him for a moment then snorted softly. “You feel responsible.”
“I am responsible. As the leader, it’s my duty to make sure all of you are safe.” And to make sure nheqebas with tempting honey colored eyes and warm, rain scented skin didn’t distract him.
“Uh huh.”
Cade paused, not sure what Gabriel’s tone meant. “I’m glad you’re mending.”
“You figure you’re responsible because you’re the leader?”
Didn’t he just say that? His temper rose as it always did in Gabriel’s presence. He pushed down the urge to snap back. Not only because Gabriel was injured, but also because his ach had the right to be suspicious. Cade wasn’t telling the whole truth. “I’m sorry I wasn’t with you when it happened, Gabriel. I’d have taken your place.”
Gabriel stared at him for a full minute. “Even a leader can’t be everywhere at once, boss.” His tone was uncharacteristically soft.
Cade searched but found no traces of sarcasm or ridicule in his tone.
“Just the same, I wanted to tell you I was sorry.”
Gabriel didn’t respond.
Cade headed to the door. “I’ll have Lucas give you an update after the Before Dusk Meeting before he starts patrol.”
“Cade?”
He turned.
“Have you seen Lucas?”
“Yes, just before I came down.”
Gabriel hesitated. “Did he seem all right?”
“What do you mean?”
“When he was here before,” Gabriel stopped as if searching for the right words. “He wasn’t acting like himself.”
Cade recalled the flash of anger he thought he’d imagined. “Either it’s his concern for you or his need for blood.”
Gabriel lay back against the pillow. “Makes sense.” His eyes still appeared troubled, brow now wrinkled.
“Once you’re back on your feet, Lucas will be back to normal.” Cade held the door for Martha to reenter before he exited the room.
He walked up the stairs, his mind on the puzzling, yet as usual, frustrating conversation with Gabriel. Is it possible they could get along if both of them tried?
Cade slowed as he neared Emma’s room. Was it unconsciously or on purpose? He shook his head. Was there a difference anymore when it pertained to her?
Emma was speaking in short bursts. Her words not always clear. She was pissed. He opened the door, but didn’t go inside.
She halted in mid-pacing. “What do you want?”
Cade opened his mouth not a clue what he was going to say and caught sight of the two bags of medication on the table “Time for another dose.” He walked in the room and grabbed a bag.
Emma heaved a sigh, deliberated for a moment. What would he do if she refused?
“Fine.” Sitting stiffly on the bed, she averted her gaze, holding out her arm.
He connected the IV to the port in her hand. When the bag hung on the nail, the solution dripping, he stepped back.
“Your skin isn’t cold,” she said quietly.
“No. I fed.”
“On blood?”
“Yes.”
“From a person?”
He hesitated. “Lucas, my brother, gave me some of his blood.”
Emma was silent for a moment. Her expression showed nothing. “You get the blood from your brothers?”
“Not all the time. I’d given to Gabriel in order to help him heal from his injuries. Lucas gave to me in order to replace what I lost.”
“Didn’t Lucas give to Gabriel, too? You can donate that much?”
His eyebrows rose. Cade would have to talk to the ebheds about speaking so openly while Emma was at the HQ. “He did. Lucas replenished the blood he gave to Gabriel before coming to me.”
“You only take blood from one another?”
He paused. Does it matter if he told her? She’d already knew too many Behn secrets. What were a few other details? In the end it wouldn’t matter. “Once a month we take blood from our sire in what’s called a blood ceremony. If we didn’t, over time our Behnshma powers would begin to diminish. Lucas and Gabriel choose to seek nourishment from Followers, humans,” he clarified. “In between the ceremonies in order to maintain strength and Behn powers. They don’t take much and it does no harm. Afterwards the Followers memories are wiped of the episode.”
“You don’t do this?”
“No.”
Emma was quiet for a moment. “Have you ever?”
His gaze dropped.
“Never mind.”
“No. It’s fine.” Cade could no longer hide it. Time for her to learn what a complete monster he truly was.
Emma watched Cade sit hesitantly on the edge of the bed. Holding himself stiff, he glanced over as if expecting a protest. She reached for his hand. He seemed startled, then gently returned her squeeze.
“I did drink from a human after I first changed.”
He paused and his eyes darted to her again. She said nothing. Knew her face showed nothing.
“I hadn’t stayed with my sire, as I should have,” he continued slowly. Guilt seemed to ooze from his pores.
“Sarah was at home, sick with smallpox. The girls had already died.” His words came out stilted and with each sentence he seemed to transport a little more to the past. Fleeting joy flitted across his face when he spoke about feeling his son move in his wife’s womb. His nose wrinkled as he told her about his then new ability to smell sickness seeping from Sarah’s pores.
He loved his wife so much. Emma was not the slightest bit jealous. Not. At. All. He’d nursed his wife. Had taken such good care of her. Just like he was with Emma. Did that mean that he . . . cared for her too? Not necessarily. It was just who Cade was.
“I begged Sarah to allow me to change her. Heal her. She refused.” Emotions ran across his face. Pain. Regret.
Emma wouldn’t have refused.
“It was when I scented a drop of her blood.” His words were low. Tone unreadable. He was squeezing her hand almost to the point of pain.
Her heart began to pound.
Cade lurched from the bed. Paced.
Emma’s breaths increased.
“I’d no idea what was happening. I should’ve run away.” Tone was harsh now, his words whipping through the air as self-inflicting knives. “The monster awoke. I was too weak to resist.”
An hour ago he’d barely been able to stand in his bedroom so debilitated from giving blood to his brother. Cade hadn’t attacked her then, but she understood now why he’d pushed her away. Her cheeks grew hot. She’d practically, unknowingly, begged him to kill her.
>
Cade stopped pacing. His eyes latched onto her blushing cheeks.
“I drained her dry,” he said thickly. “I ignored her pleas to stop. I held her tighter when she began to struggle.” Cade inhaled a shaky breath. “I still didn’t let go when she ceased to move.”
Tears filled her eyes. Oh, Cade. Rat—wanted her to run for the door. He’ll do the same to you. Irrational wanted her to put a stake through his chest first and then run. She told them both to fuck off.
Emma’s heart was pounding like mad. Her mouth had parted to get enough oxygen. She wasn’t completely crazy. Fear raced through her veins. Cade could have killed her so many times already. His reactions and rejections to her advances were for protection. He was a wonderful, good man who spent his days risking his own life to protect others.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, she stretched the IV line as far as she could. “It’s not your fault.”
Cade whirled so fast that Emma gasped. His eyes were wide, searching.
She swallowed. “If you’d known what was happening you’d of stopped yourself.”
He barked out a laugh. It was harsh, devoid of any emotion. “I knew,” he said. “I knew when my fangs began to grow what was happening and why it was.”
Even still. Cade abstained from human blood since then. What happened in the bedroom proved his control. “You didn’t kill Sarah.”
“Haven’t you been listening? I stuck my fangs in her neck. I swallowed every delicious drop of that human blood. And I liked it.”
The glow returned in his eyes. Cade wouldn’t hurt her. “It wasn’t you. Smallpox killed her.”
Another one of those laughs. “Then I surely am her killer. I brought the sickness into our house. I invited the traveler into our home. I killed my Sarah. My unborn son. My two daughters. I’m a killer. A monster.”
Cade started to turn, to head for the door. Emma lurched forward, not thinking, and cried out. The next moment Cade was by the bed, gently holding her arm. She twisted it out of his view before he could inspect the IV port. “Sit next to me.”
He opened his mouth. Hesitated. Sighed. Then warily complied.
“I want the truth.”
Trepidation crept over his face. Cade nodded slowly.
“You’ve pushed me away, not because you don’t care for me, but because you do care for me?”
He seemed startled by her question, then resigned. “Yes, chemda. I care for you more than I should.”
More than I should? What does that mean? “I think you’re being an idiot.” Nice, girl. Maybe you should try and not bait the fanged beast. “The way you view yourself is ridiculous,” she clarified. Okay, that’s not much better. “You’re a kind and decent man. How many lives have you saved by what you do every night?”
“It’s as it should be. I’ve a penance.”
“No what you have is a shield,” she snapped. After a deep breath, she continued. “Are you telling me that if you’d known the traveler was sick you would’ve refused to let him in your home?” Before he could answer, she plunged ahead. “You may have not allowed him near your family, but you’d have given him a meal, offered him a kind word, called a doctor. Right?”
“Yes,” he said, voice low.
“You acted from the kindness of your heart. How can that ever be wrong?”
His head fell forward, chin on chest. Emma moved cautiously, conscious of her IV, to straddle his legs. Her arms circled him. She laid her cheek against his hair. A few moments later, he hugged her back, let out a shuddering sigh.
“You and Elias,” he said softly.
“Who?” Was that another brother?
Suddenly he stilled.
“What?”
He lifted his head and stared into her eyes.
“Tell me.”
His lips curved. “You’ve become quiet the little demander.”
Emma melted at his teasing. The guilt and anguish were gone. “I have to be if I’m going to be near you.”
Cade’s smile faded. Nope, not gone.
“We can’t be together. I have to take you home.
Her heart skipped a beat, but she knew it could be no other way. “I’ll take what comes after I leave here, but for the next two days, please don’t push me away.”
“The next two days? So you don’t want me to take you home now?”
“No,” she whispered. Arms still around him, she threaded her fingers into his hair, ran her mouth over his lips, cheeks, scars, and forehead. “Please. Be here with me.”
He growled low in his throat. Cupping her face, he brought her mouth back to his and thrust his tongue inside. Her cry of pleasure was swept away by his kiss. His hands ran down her face, the side of her breasts, her waist. Cade cupped her buttocks and lifted her to press against his straining arousal.
Emma moaned. “I need you.” He grabbed a hold of her waist, twisted to lay her on the bed. She cried out.
“Oh heavens, Emma. I’m sorry.” Cade swung her back in his lap, taking her IV arm to survey the damage.
His whole body stiffened.
The scent of blood hit Cade before the small, red droplet formed underneath the white tape. His eyes glowed, bringing the millions of blood cells in that one drop in greater focus. The blood seeped from under the tape. He closed his lids, but it was too late. Cade’s gums twitched and started the slow, steady burn as his fangs lengthened. Dropping her arms, he began desperate motions to move without hurting her.
“Cade. Stop.” Emma wrapped her legs tighter around his waist. “I’m fine. It doesn’t hurt anymore. We’ll take it slow.”
“You’re bleeding.” His voice was low, muffled around his extended fangs.
She froze. “But you fed from Lucas.”
“Not enough for this,” he bit out. He should’ve known better.
Cade lifted her and set her on the bed behind him. Taking the IV bag from the hook, he set it on the table. Then extended his hand, not wanting to rush her.
“I’m not going to hurt you,” he reassured.
She blinked. “I know.”
Holding his breath, he peeled pieces of tape from the port. With a cotton ball, he dabbed at the blood on her hand. Even now, the smell affected him. He wouldn’t be able to remain close to her. Cade finished wiping the blood and placed new tape over the port to keep it in place. The soiled tape and cotton balls in his hand, he was at the door, moving faster than her eyes could track.
“Where are you going? Why are you going?” Emma was off the bed and walking across the room before she finished speaking.
Chapter 14
So, her blood affected him. Emma trusted him. He wouldn’t harm her. This incident only proved his control. Cade didn’t have to go. They’d little time left. Emma wanted him branded on her mind so she could never forget.
“Don’t go.”
“Staying wouldn’t be wise,” he said to the door, his hand on the knob.
“Does it hurt? The need for blood?”
“Not now.”
“But it will?”
Cade turned. “I can handle it, but staying close to you brings out the hunger. I don’t want to risk it.”
“Drink from me.” The words left her mouth before she comprehended the implications. Had she really just offered herself up as a beverage? Yep and she meant every word. She stepped forward. “Drink from me,” she said again.
He’d paled, a horrified expression frozen on his face.
Emma spoke before he could bolt from the room. “You said Lucas and Gabriel drink from humans. They don’t kill the ones they drink from, right?”
“Yes, but—”
She moved until her body grazed his. Brushing her hair from her neck, she tilted her head to the side. “Take from me.”
Cade placed his hands on the side of her face and guided her head up. “I killed the last human I drank from.”
“I trust you.”
He didn’t speak.
“I trust you not to kill me.”
“I won’t have this discussion with you,” he growled.
“Is my blood repulsive to you?”
A pained expression crossed over his face. “No. Quite the opposite.”
Emma brightened. “Really?”
“It’s not for celebrating.”
“Of course not.” She schooled her face. “I want you.”
Desire flared but was quickly concealed. “We can’t.”
“I leave in two days. I want these memories.” Standing on tiptoe, she kissed him.
Cade hesitated for only a second. His arms encircled her waist. He ran his lips over her jawline and down her neck. Each brush of his lips was followed by a flick of his tongue.
Yes. She’d never forget this. The way his hands were on her. Cade’s hardness pressed against her. The warmth flooding her body, pooling between her legs. His mouth on her heated skin.
Emma didn’t immediately notice when he stilled. Mouth inches above the artery in her neck.
“Do it,” she whispered. “I want you to.”
“Emma.” His voice cracked.
“I trust you. I want this. I want your fangs inside of me. I want to give all of myself to you. I want to feel you taking my blood. I want—”
Cade struck. Emma stiffened, but before she could brace herself, the pain was gone. This was not the same as the alley. Not. At. All.
He took a long pull at her neck and a deep, heavy yearning pooled in between her legs. More intense than anything before. Each pull was accompanied by a sweep of desire.
Too soon her whole body pulsed with need. Emma was ready to explode, but unable to detonate. Her cheeks burned. Sweat dripped down her back. She clutched fistfuls of his shirt. Moaned. Shifted side-to-side. Pleasure started at her neck but quickly changed to burning need as it rolled through her body.