by Austin, RB
The song ended and the place filled with noise. Books returned to their shelves. Jackets were zipped. Friends talked over pews. The priest greeted parishioners as they left. The altar servers returned the large wooden cross and candle sticks to their place on the altar. Emma read the verse over and over in her head. Perhaps it would start to make sense soon.
If this was supposed to be some sort of sign, He got it all wrong. Because no way this was going anywhere near the get-back-to-normal-and-pretend-the-guy-of-her-dreams-depicted-on-the-canvas-now-living-in-the-dumpster-until-Tuesday-where-he-will-then-be-moved-to-a-landfill never entered her life.
From hundreds of hymns in the blue book this one was chosen today. Why? Was He trying to torture her? God didn’t believe there was enough shit in her life? Add extra pressure on her chest because she hasn’t collapsed yet? Let’s discover how much she can take before falling over? Why? Because He was a dick that’s why.
There was a tap on her shoulder.
She jumped. Shit, she was going to hell. Dammit. Was swearing still swearing if it only happened in her head?
“Are you all right?”
Father Gregory stood at her side. Her gaze darted past him to the empty pews, save for a few avid prayers.
The place had grown silent. Tears were streaming down her face. Emma wiped them hurriedly, her cheeks warming.
Father Gregory. He’d baptized her, listened to her first confession, and led her class through their first Holy Communion and Confirmation. To him she was one of many children he led along the Catholic life, but the need to talk and spill her guts, like when she cheated on her math test in the fourth grade, was overwhelming.
Dropping her gaze, she set the book in its holder and reached for her purse.
“I’m fine. Thank you, Father Gregory.”
He opened his mouth and closed it on a soft sigh. Taking her hand, he held it in between his two wrinkled ones. “Go and find peace, my child.”
She blinked back tears. “Thank you.” The words emerged with barely any sound. The moment he let go of her hand she escaped down the aisle.
Father Gregory’s gaze followed the young woman as she all but ran down the aisle. He wanted to go after her but she wasn’t ready to accept help. Hopefully she’d return. Peace could be found by simply walking into His house. He glanced to the right section of the balcony. The lights were still off.
Perhaps because he’d trained his eyes to notice when he was here or maybe it was the gentle brush along his spine when any Trihune was near, but he was able to focus on the barely discernible outline of a man standing in the shadows.
Why was he still here? Mass concluded fifteen minutes ago. If Gregory started toward the stairs Cade would be gone by the time he reached the third step. It wasn’t because he was an old man either. Even when he was a fit and energetic young lad, he still couldn’t out run him.
Gregory was seven years old on that cold, winter night when his mother grabbed him by the wrist to drag him from the store. He couldn’t remember the toy he’d desperately wanted that warranted such a temper tantrum, but he could recall the two pink spots on his mother’s cheeks as she tugged him through the crowds and out on the sidewalk.
Gentle hands set him in the backseat. Not one cross word passed her lips. He watched her through the window until she vanished from view. Trepidation circled in his stomach. She was angriest when quiet.
Tires screeched. His gaze flew from one window to the other. A loud thump. Something fell on the hood of the car and then smashed the windshield. He screamed. A large object rolled off the car and fell to the ground. Gregory didn’t remember unclicking his seatbelt, but next he peered through the back window and then the side windows. Mom? A blue car raced down the street, tires screeching again. People began to gather.
He didn’t remember opening the door or walking to the front, but he’d never been able to purge from his mind the image of his mother lying on the ground. Wide, open eyes stared unseeing at the night sky. Her knee high skirt was around her thighs at an inappropriate height. Foot twisted at a weird angle. Blood pooled beneath her head.
Someone screamed. It hurt his ears. Arms circled him. He was making the noise. Two strong hands picked him up and held him tight, not even budging when he twisted, kicked, and punched to get loose. Eventually Gregory quit struggling. Watching his mom, he waited for her to move, knowing deep down she never would. The police and ambulance arrived. The arms never let go. At some point he put his head on the large shoulder and closed his eyes.
That night changed his life forever. Not only because he witnessed his mother’s death. It was Cade who held him tight on the sidewalk and who came back every night to check on him. The nuns may have urged him to become a choghen, but he wanted to make Cade proud. Even when it was time for the Behn to stop coming, because the nuns and choghens would have noticed he wasn’t aging, Cade still found a way to keep in contact.
Father blinked.
He was alone. The presence in the balcony was gone. Ten years after his mother’s death he’d learned the police arrested the man responsible just two days after the hit and run. They’d received a tip from an anonymous source.
Chapter 20
Cade swung his fist into the bag that in his imagination had morphed into a Fallen. Nose. He swung again. Larynx. Right kidney. Left kidney. Again. Nose. Larynx. Right kidney. Left kidney. Nose. Larynx. Right. Left. The bag was holding, but the many Fallen in his mind were a pile of bodies at his feet. Sweat dripped down his face. His shirt, already drenched, was discarded on the pile of mats to the right.
The gym doors swung open as he hooked another kidney. Cade didn’t have time for a sissy-boy convo with Lucas. Nose. Larynx. Right kidney. Left kidney. Cade had been on the verge of calling Elias down right in the middle of Emma’s bedroom. Not caring he’d have to explain what he was doing there in the first place.
Nose. Larynx. When she woke, he figured she recognized him because of a dream. It was common. Behns could erase human’s recent memories, but those transformed into long-term emerged in dreams or nightmares.
But the tears streaming down her face had been a knife planted in his chest. And when she started rambling about canvases, dreams, and hallucinations with panic clear in her voice, it was official something was terribly wrong. Elias erased too much.
It wasn’t until he was back at the HQ, heading toward the ceremony chamber that he realized what happened. Elias hadn’t damaged her. Cade had. His sire could wipe memories, but couldn’t erase the emotions those memories left behind. Emma was frightened because of him. Upset because of him. She thought he was a hallucination because he couldn’t stop seeing her. Emma couldn’t move on because he wasn’t letting her.
Nose. Nose. Nose. When would he learn? Cade was meant to be alone. He existed only to fight Apollyon and his Fallen.
Nose. Nose. Nose. Nose. He now had the courage to do what was necessary. What he should’ve done from the beginning.
Nose. Nose. Nose. Nose. The right thing.
Nose. Nose. Nose. He’d leave her alone. For good. No watching. No interfering. He’d already revisited the zakaar and wiped the imposed compulsion. Cade wouldn’t allow himself to think of her. Emma was no longer a part of his life. He was never to be a part of hers.
Nose. Nose. Nose. Nose. He wasn’t good for her.
“You’re going to punch the bag from the ceiling.”
Cade had forgotten about his brother. He rounded. Then blinked. It wasn’t Lucas. “What?” His voice emerged brusque given his mood and lack of speaking since he entered the gym. A glance at the clock said that had been about four hours ago.
Gabriel motioned to the ceiling. “The bag.”
Cade looked up. The screws were working their way free from the ceiling mount. Again. The bag would have flown across the room and crashed int
o a mirror. Again. Time to find another outlet for his frustration or an unbreakable object to punch.
He turned to find Gabriel studying him. The bandages were gone and the bruise banding Gabriel’s neck had faded, but it was still another reason to feel like an asshole. Cade ruined a wonderful nheqeba’s life and tried to kill one of his achs due to said nheqeba.
“I’m sorry.” Cade knew those two words could do little to repair what he’d done.
Gabriel didn’t say anything, simply stared at him like he was a bug underneath a magnifying glass. Maybe he wanted to tip it toward the sun so he’d catch on fire. It’d be welcomed right now.
“You care for her.”
He said it as a statement but Cade answered anyway. “Yes.”
“What are you going to do about it?” Simple curiosity laced his tone.
“She’s met with Elias.”
Gabriel’s eyebrows rose.
Because Elias was called or because Emma’s memory was wiped? Cade’s nostrils flared. “It’s for the best.” He still sensed Gabriel’s disapproval. Ridiculous. They all knew the rules.
His ach surveyed him for a long, quiet moment. Then with a slight nod of his head said, “Yes.”
Cade’s forehead wrinkled. Had he been an ass again? He scrubbed a hand down his face.
“Have Sarid and Lucas returned?”
Gabriel nodded.
“Can you tell them to meet me in the conference room in fifteen?”
“Yes.”
“I want you there too. If you’re free,” he added.
Gabriel blinked. “I am. Thank you.”
Fifteen minutes later Cade walked into the conference room carrying a black bag similar to the one the doctor carried for—he stumbled. No. More.
Sarid and Lucas were still in their fighting fatigues. Lucas bounced from foot to foot like he was gearing to patrol and not that he’d just been. His tats were covered, but Cade would bet they were back to red. He’d avoided talking to Lucas because . . . well, because his head had been too far up his ass to consider anything but his own desires. Cade would rectify that this morning.
“Lucas, don’t leave after the meeting.”
Lucas caught his eye, frowned, then nodding in confirmation.
“I’ve a task to complete before we get down to business.”
Gabriel was in his seat. Sarid stood by his wall. Lucas was apparently too keyed up to sit. Cade set the black bag in front of Gabriel and spread his arms. Speaking in the Trihune language he said, “I’ve caused you harm, my ach, and I give you leave to seek retribution. I won’t defend myself. I won’t retaliate. Just as the Sonh sacrificed his body for forgiveness of Followers’ sins, I equally accept the pain I am about to receive in order to gain forgiveness. This pnachum is offered in love and with repentance in order to right the wrong I’ve done to you. Though the pain I’ve caused may be forgiven it will never be forgotten.”
Gabriel’s eyes widened. The room was silent. Even Lucas’s feet were no longer dancing.
When Gabriel didn’t move Cade opened the bag. He removed steel brass knuckles, a small dagger, a black leather crop, a steel ball on a chain attached to a wooden handle, and a long thin leather whip.
Gabriel stood quickly, his face paling. “This isn’t necessary.”
“Are you refusing me penance, ach?” Cade asked quietly.
Gabriel blinked. Emotions skittered across his face. His back straightened. “No. I accept.”
Sarid moved next to Lucas. They were to witness the penance and also to oversee the pain and humiliation Cade received as he’d given pain and humiliation to Gabriel. Cade unbuttoned his shirt, shrugged out of it and placed it on the chair next to him.
Gabriel again made no move to begin. Cade gripped the dagger. Slashing the inside of his left wrist, he held out the bleeding wound. After a moment of hesitation Gabriel brought it to his mouth. His fangs extended into the wound.
Less than thirty seconds later, Gabriel lifted his head. Cade’s eyebrows drew together. Only a minimal amount was taken. It wasn’t enough to slow Cade’s healing or weaken him. He shoved his wrist up. “Not enough. I’m seeking penance for two wrongs.”
Gabriel jerked back. His fangs were still extended, the tips pink with blood. “What?”
“Two wrongs.”
“No, only one.”
Blood dripped from Cade’s wrist to the table. “There are two. I must seek penance for both.” The last words emerged hoarse. His desperation was plainly evident. Cade must bare himself for forgiveness. There could be no holding back.
Gabriel glanced at his achs across the table then back at Cade. From his expression he was close to shutting the whole thing down.
“Please, my ach. Allow me to gain forgiveness.” He lifted his wrist.
Gabriel closed his eyes for a moment then wrapped his hand around Cade’s forearm. Punching his fangs into Cade’s left vein, which had already begun to heal, he drew the blood quickly.
A wave of dizziness swept through Cade. Locking his knees, he forced his spine to stiffen. When Gabriel drank enough he licked his lips over the wound then stood. Cade wobbled, took a step back then another steadier one to allow Gabriel enough room to maneuver.
Gabriel didn’t linger over the weapon choice. Slipping the brass knuckles on his right hand, he faced Cade. Then spoke in the Trihune language. “The blood you’ve given and the blood you’ll now spill will wash over the wound you’ve caused. I give the forgiveness you seek. After I’m through we will be as we were before. Achs.”
“Achs.” Cade repeated. Raising his arms, palms up, he closed his eyes. Air moved across his face a second before the punch hit. As required, Cade didn’t flinch or recoil. He fought the instinct to lift his hands to protect. Hard cold metal struck his cheek then slid into his nose. Cade heard the crack before his head wiped to the side. He staggered back.
With each pound of his heart the pain reverberated in his head. He was pretty sure his nose was broken. Blood ran down into his mouth. Righting himself, he opened his arms.
The second punch was in the stomach and knocked the breath from him. Unable to help himself, Cade doubled over. It took a minute before he could inhale properly, through his mouth of course. He allowed himself two painful breaths before forcing himself to turn to Sarid and Lucas. Cade was glad for the pain. The pnachum would’ve been void if Gabriel held back even a little.
He stilled, gaze catching Gabriel’s strickened face. Regret was a record on skip playing over his face.
“It is as it should be, ach.” His voice was quiet. Not because he planned it, but because it was all the air he could force from his lungs at the moment.
Gabriel shook his head.
Cade clasped his face, stilling it. Leaning down, he touched his forehead to Gabriel’s. “Thank you for your forgiveness.”
Gabriel breathed in long and deep. Once. Twice. He nodded.
Cade stumbled as he turned. Gabriel offered no help and neither did the others. To Lucas and Sarid he lifted his arms.
They nodded and in unison spoke the final words. “Repentance was sought and penance justly served.”
Cade patted the outside of his nose. Man, even the light pressure of a fingertip made him want to scream.
“Perhaps we should wait,” Gabriel began.
Pop. The sound echoed in the room.
Fuuck. But at least he could breathe through his nose again. The skin below his ribs sported a red outline in the shape of knuckles. It’d be black in an hour. He reached for his shirt.
“To start the meeting,” Gabriel continued slowly. “Until you’ve rested.”
Cade’s gaze lifted. “No rest.” That was the rule. The day must go on. “I’ll be fine.” Wincing, he used his shirt to wipe his face then began t
he slow process of putting it back on. His nose still throbbed. It was swollen so he could no longer breathe through it. When the pain and bruises faded the marks he’d left on Gabriel would as well. Cade smiled.
“Let’s get to it.” Cade eased down into his chair. Sarid was holding up the wall again. Lucas, no longer twitching, sat in his seat. Gabriel was in his chair, face still drawn and pale.
“What did you find?” Cade asked Lucas and Sarid.
“A whole lot of nothing,” Lucas answered. His lip curled in disgust and his feet started their tap routine underneath the table.
“I didn’t find any Fallen,” Sarid said. “But I did notice a lot of fighting between the Followers.”
“Brawling?” Cade cocked his head.
“Bickering. They fought with the one they were with as opposed to a stranger.”
“You believe this may have something to do with the one who hurt Gabriel?”
“I’m not sure.”
Gabriel shook his head. “The UF wasn’t one to cause fights but to sit back and enjoy the view with popcorn.”
“I want to keep an eye on it anyway. Until we learn this new game and its rules, we need to be careful. I want to break the city into four areas. We’ll patrol no more than a half a mile from each other. Sarid, we’ll use your earpieces. I want to catch this fucker fast. Then we can focus our energy on dealing with the new developments.”
“We’re going on the offense.” Gabriel’s face was devoid of any emotion.
“We are.”
“Not waiting for them to come to us?”
“No.”
His mouth split into a huge grin. “About damn time.”