“What?” My heart skips a beat. My whole world seems to have tilted upside down, and it takes me a moment to be able to focus again.
“I was returning from a club when a van stopped right next to me and masked men grabbed me. I was taken to a man... Raphael’s friend... who made me his slave.” She grits her teeth. “You don’t know how many times I just wished he would kill me... and there were other times when... I hoped he’d just look at me with love in his eyes. Three months... three months of hell. Luckily, my father’s investigators found me and... saved me. My father paid a lot of money and he and my captor reached an agreement because I wasn’t just any girl. None of us wanted the press and the world to ever find out about what happened to me... I don’t think I’d ever be able to look anyone in the eye on the street if they found out the whole truth...”
“Oh God, Kat.” I go over to her and pull her into my arms.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but I just... I couldn’t. I needed to forget and get back to my life as if nothing happened. And they forbade me to tell anyone... It’s a part of the agreement we made to get me my freedom back.”
“So the men who kidnapped you... and that man who... They’re still out there somewhere?”
She nods.
I sit next to her, my arm still around her as she leans her head on my shoulder. I can’t even begin to imagine what she’s been through and I want to hunt down the people who hurt her. When she came back from what I thought was just a vacation, she started drinking more and was no longer interested in serious relationships, just one night flings with different guys.
I thought it was just a phase she was going through, a new way of fun she’d discovered in Paris, but now... now I know the truth is far more horrifying. But if Katherine was able to keep the truth from me for so long, then it shouldn’t surprise me if Caleb is doing it too. “I’m so sorry. I should’ve known you wouldn’t just leave without a word.”
“You couldn’t have known, but I hope you’ll stay away from Caleb. I don’t know if he works willingly for Raphael, but you should stay away from all of them.” She pulls away from me, her eyes filled with unshed tears. “I tried to help one girl I met while I was... She’s dead. Because of me. Because I stupidly thought I could help. But she didn’t have any family or anyone who could look for her, so... no one even knows or cares that she’s dead.” She grabs my arm suddenly. “Promise me you’ll let this go. Don’t get involved. Nothing good will come out of it.”
I give her a brief nod, but I can’t really do what she’s asking of me. I can’t just turn my back on Caleb if he needs my help. I have to find out exactly what’s going on with Raphael, Caleb, and everyone else. Maybe Katherine doesn’t believe anything can be done, but I have to try.
Caleb leans against the wall, closing his eyes and resting his forehead on his arm. How could Lilith’s friend have recognized the tattoo? He’d never seen the woman before, and yet, what if Lilith decides to believe her? He doesn’t know how close the two of them are. If Lilith realizes what he really is... He clenches his teeth. No, she can’t. It would break his heart if she did.
She would probably never want to see him again. And if Raphael found out, he’d never let him out again. Caleb takes a shaky breath, and when he hears someone’s footsteps behind him, he quickly opens his eyes and turns around. He sighs in relief when he sees Isaac coming toward him. Isaac’s eyes are troubled, and there’s a fresh bruise under his left cheek, but he doesn’t seem to be bothered by it.
“What’s wrong?” Isaac asks.
“She knows,” Caleb says and chews on his lower lip. “She fucking knows.”
“What are you talking about?” Isaac frowns.
“Lilith,” Caleb whispers, eyeing the guard across the room. There’s no way the guard can hear him from that far away. “Her friend saw my tattoo and somehow recognized it.”
“You know what that means. Who’s the friend? One of Raphael’s?”
Caleb shakes his head. “I don’t think so. She wouldn’t have revealed the truth to Lilith for no reason. You know Raphael would never allow it. I’ve never seen her before anywhere and I didn’t recognize her voice. How can she know?” He raises his dark eyes toward Isaac.
“Maybe she was at a masked party. You wouldn’t have seen her face then, especially if she was at the other end of the room.” Isaac shrugs. “But if she knows everything, then she won’t tell anyone or let your Lilith tell anyone because that would be stupid.”
“I know. I just... told Lilith that we shouldn’t be seeing each other before she could ask me anything.” He glances at his feet.
“Good. If it was one of Raphael’s tests, then you did well.” Isaac claps him on the shoulder, a small smile breaking on his face. “If it were me, I’d have told her every single last detail.”
Caleb gives him a hard look. “And lost your life in the process.”
“Eh.” Isaac waves his hand. “It’ll happen eventually anyway.”
Caleb wants to tell him not to be so pessimistic, but he doesn’t, because he knows Isaac is right.
“That’s not what’s really bothering you, is it?” Isaac tilts his head. “You like her. You really like her, and now she knows the ugly truth. Or maybe she knew it all along, and that’s what hurts you the most. Maybe she’s only teasing you. I doubt she doesn’t know exactly what’s going on. Raphael’s clients always know and they don’t give a damn.”
Caleb shifts on his feet. “I thought...” He runs his hand across his face. “I thought she’d be different. When I’m with her, everything... everything is so normal. And now, I don’t think I can ever see her again. I don’t want to. I can’t look her in the eye, especially if she had me fooled the whole time.” He meets Isaac’s gaze. “Do you really think it’s just Raphael playing mind games with me?”
“I don’t know, but forget about her. Nothing good will come out of it.” Isaac freezes as more of Raphael’s men enter the room, and he takes a step away from Caleb, who quietly observes the men.
Still, somewhere deep inside, Caleb is hoping that Lilith isn’t like the rest of his clients. The thought that she tricked him is unbearable, and suddenly, taking one of the pills he’s stored in his room sounds like a great idea. All he can think about is her, and he wants to get her out of his head. Maybe she’s already forgotten about him and moved on to someone else, a decent guy. Yeah, that would be the best.
But picturing her in someone else’s embrace makes his blood boil. He doesn’t want anyone to touch her, even thought he knows he doesn’t have any right to feel that way. Without thinking, he finds himself on the way to his room. Making sure no one is around to see him, he finds his small stash of pills and puts one in his mouth. For a moment, he hesitates, rolling the pill over his tongue, but then he swallows and lies down on his empty bed.
Staring at the ceiling, he waits for the pill’s effects to start. But Lilith’s image keeps dancing in front of his eyes, and as he rolls over and buries his face into the pillow, he thinks he can smell Lilith’s hair, which is impossible because she’s never been in his bed. He slowly runs his hand across the covers, imagining Lilith’s soft skin under his fingers. He knows that he shouldn’t still be thinking about her, but this time he doesn’t feel hurt or upset.
She just exists in his mind like a vision, and there’s nothing around her; no pain, no feelings, no nothing. She’s just there. Caleb blinks, trying to clear his mind. As he hops to his feet, he decides to head out into the hallway. If Lilith doesn’t want to get out of his mind, he’ll have to make her. And maybe, just maybe, he’ll find a way to do that without getting himself in trouble. And even if he does get into trouble, what does it matter?
He’s slightly lightheaded, so the pill has to be already working its way to his head, especially when he hasn’t been taking his usual dose. Soon he’ll find a better thing to occupy his mind with, and Lilith will be gone forever.
I nervously tap my foot as I wait for Alessandra to appear. I
have way too many questions and few answers, but I’m sure about one thing: Alessandra is somehow involved and knows more than she’s letting on. All I have to do is figure out what she knows without asking her directly, and that might not be the easiest thing in the world.
If I could get myself invited to one of those parties Katherine mentioned, then maybe I’d be able to see for myself if what happened to Katherine has happened to anyone else who works for Raphael or if things are different. Hell, all I need is the location of Raphael’s parties. It would be easier to report him to the cops. Maybe Katherine is wrong about Raphael’s connections.
Alessandra strolls toward me in a tight red cocktail dress, her hair slightly lighter than usual, and she looks radiant, her smile as wide as possible. “Hello, darling.” She leans toward me, and her red lips brush my cheek. “Did something happen? Your voice sounded a little edgy when you called me.” She takes a seat next to me and I wait until the waiter brings her favorite drink. She takes a long sip and sighs. “Aaah, this is life. So, what did you want to talk about? Does it have anything to do with Caleb?” She innocently bats her eyelashes at me.
“Kind of.” I shrug, giving her a shy smile. “I know you want to protect Caleb’s privacy, but I need to know something... He’s wonderful and I’ve had a really great time with him, but... I’m getting a bit bored, you know. I want to try something else. Something more exciting, perhaps. Do you know if Caleb has a friend or if he knows someone else who could spice up my nights?” If she’s working with Raphael, then she could get me anyone from his ring of prostitution.
Alessandra gives me a long look. “Sure. I know some people.”
“Anyone good-looking?” I grin. “I can find ugly, unskilled men at every corner. I want something better.”
“Of course,” Alessandra says, pulling out her phone. “What about this guy? He’s very hot and he’s good with his fingers.”
I take a quick look at the phone and see the guy’s face is gaunt and there’s a strange gleam in his red-rimmed eyes. Could this be Raphael’s secret? Turning good-looking drug addicts into prostitutes? But for how long could they keep working and looking good if they kept using drugs? Maybe it depends on the type of the drug. “No, he’s not really my type.”
“What about him?” She swipes to the next photo. The guy is very handsome, with spiky dark hair and deep blue eyes, but his jaw is clenched, his whole posture stiff.
“Maybe,” I say. “He looks a little... I don’t know... too rough?”
“Oh, he wouldn’t be unless you wanted him to.” She winks at me, then frowns. “Maybe there’s something else you’d like.”
“Is it another hot guy?” I ask, but she just shakes her head.
“Do you just want to have sex or you want some real fun?”
I tilt my head. “Define fun.”
“You know those parties I’ve been telling you about?”
“You mean the ones with lots of sex involved? The ones you need a special invitation to?”
“Yeah, that’s exactly what I mean. And you don’t need to have sex in front of everyone if that’s what bothers you. You can just watch... That can be entertaining in itself. I promise you. Sex isn’t everything.” There’s an unusual shine in her eyes, but I’ve got her exactly where I want her.
“Sounds interesting, but I’m not sure. Who’d invite me to such a party?”
“I would.” She leans forward. “My membership has been extended because I’ve been very helpful and brought in many new members. I can take you to one so you can see for yourself if it’s something you’d enjoy or not.”
“I don’t know.” I try to look indecisive. “What exactly happens there? You just watch people have sex or what?”
“Oh, dear, you’re so wrong about everything.” She laughs. “Now you can’t refuse my offer. I insist you come with me to the next party.”
“But...” No matter how much I want to go to the party, I have to hide my excitement. If Alessandra becomes suspicious, my whole plan will fail. I can’t let that happen. I have to be very careful about this, especially considering what Katherine told me.
“No buts. Nothing I say will show you the real magic. You have to see it, feel it...” Alessandra tilts her head back, and half closes her eyes. I’m starting to wonder if she’s taken some drug before she came here. Finally, she opens her eyes and straightens her back. “You can leave any time you want if it’s not for you. You don’t even have to pay anything this time... Well, unless you decide you want a piece of something.”
“But who else will be there? I don’t want people to see me at such a party. No offense to you or anyone, but the press would kill for an article about me visiting some sex club.”
“Don’t worry about that. All guests wear masks. No one will be able to recognize you. And I assure you, all participants are carefully chosen and they’d never want their private affairs out in the open, just like you. Your discretion is assured.”
I’m not quite sure about the masks, but I still have to go. “Okay, I’m willing to give it a shot. When and where is the party?”
“Not so fast, my dear. I still need to consult my... the host,” she says. “I’m sure he’ll agree and there won’t be any problem, but I need to be sure.”
“Um, okay, so will you call me when you hear back from the host?” I ask.
“Sure. I’ll come and pick you up. The location is kind of a secret, so I’ll escort you there personally. You don’t have to worry about anything.”
“What about the dress code? Do I have to wear something specific?”
“No. Wear whatever you want, but make sure it’s something elegant. You don’t want to be mistaken for one of the workers.” She smiles.
“Right.” I’m not even sure what she means, but something must have shown on my face because Allie reaches out for me and places her hand over mine.
“I was just joking. No one could ever mistaken you for one of the workers,” she says. “But you can dress as you usually do when you go to a party. I’m sure the host will appreciate it.”
“Can I know who the host is?”
“In time.” She winks. “He’ll be there. You’ll probably like him. He’s a man with a vision and he knows what people want. A very charismatic man, actually.”
“Okay.” I assume she’s talking about Raphael, because who else could be hosting the party? “Will Caleb be there?”
“Yeah, I believe he will. Why?” She narrows her eyes at me. “Will that be a problem? I assure you no one will know what happened between you and him. He won’t mention it to anyone.”
“I was just wondering.” I wave my hand in dismissal. “Watching him could be fun.”
“Oh, trust me. It is.” She closes her eyes for a moment, smacking her lips together. “He has the most beautiful eyes, doesn’t he?”
“I guess he does, but I prefer blue eyes,” I lie. I don’t want her to know that I actually like Caleb. “Still, Caleb knows what he’s doing, so...”
“Blue, huh? There’s a guy with blue eyes who’ll be there, but he... he’s into some really crazy stuff. You might like that.”
“I don’t know. I guess we’ll see.” I raise my glass and clink it against Alessandra’s, and she smiles at me.
“I know you’ll have a great time. Just remember that you don’t have to be shy or embarrassed about anything. The party is where all your dreams and fantasies should come true and be celebrated.”
My stomach twists because there’s something about the way Alessandra talks about the party that unnerves me. But what do I know about people’s fantasies? Maybe it’s something totally harmless and consensual. Katherine’s kidnapper could be an exception, and yet I have a hard time believing that.
My hands are unsteady as I apply another layer of my pinkish lip gloss. Alessandra called me unexpectedly an hour ago and told me to get ready, which caught me completely off guard because it is Wednesday, and I’m not sure why I didn’t expect the party to be anyt
ime other than during the weekend. Still, as I slip into my black high heels and pat down my cream cocktail dress adorned with shiny sequins, I wonder what will happen and what I’ll see at the party.
Chances are that I won’t see anything out of the ordinary, just get completely uncomfortable because people will be having sex in front of my eyes. I don’t know if Caleb will be there, and I wonder if he’d recognize me. What would he think if he saw me? Would he even want me to be there? The intercom buzzes and I see Allie waving at me on the screen. I grab my purse and hurry to the door.
Alessandra’s driver takes us to the other end of the city, and I try to memorize the way, but I feel like we’re circling around. I’ve rarely been in this area, and I’m not sure I can recognize the street. Alessandra keeps chatting about nonsense and distracting me, and I can’t stare out the window all the time, so I focus on her.
“I love your dress,” I say, surprised that my voice doesn’t come out forced. The dress is nice actually. It’s dark blue with a black piece in the middle, and it clings to her curves perfectly.
“Thanks. You look lovely too.” She opens her purse and searches for something. When she finds it, her face looks triumphant. Revealing a white pill in her hand, she immediately gulps it down. I just stare at her. She then offers me a small bag, and I gingerly take the pills, inspecting them. I don’t know what those round white things are, but they look just like Caleb’s. Maybe they’re the same thing, and Caleb and Allie just have different ways of earning the money to buy them.
“What are these?” I lift the bag up. I can’t exactly steal and hide one when she’s sitting right next to me.
“Oh, just a little something to help you relax. You can take one. I promise it’s not dangerous.” Her smile is wide.
“No, thanks.” I return the pills to her and watch her shrug and stuff them into her purse.
“Suit yourself. If you change your mind, just ask.”
Hold Me Page 9