After we finished eating, we played board games with the kids. Around nine, the kids went to bed. Chase and I stayed up talking (yes, just talking…well, pretty much) until after midnight. It was hard. I could tell he wanted more than just good conversation. To be honest, so did I. But I held it together. That’s not to say there wasn’t some kissing and a little groping, but I’d say that all things considered, I was a pretty damn good girl. Chase is a cute guy. And he has a rock hard body (I could tell THAT even through his clothes – I didn’t need a sneak peek). But while my body is willing, my mind still isn’t quite there. I just hope Chase doesn’t get put off by me slow-playing things. I know how some men are. If you don’t put out fast enough, they move on to someone who will. And with Erika lurking in the shadows (even though we’re on better footing with one another now), who knows just how much Chase will be willing to put up with before he gets bored or tired of trying. I suppose that will be the tell-tale indicator of just how much he’s really into me…so maybe my slow-play is the best move I can make right now.
I guess only time will tell.
1:15 p.m.
Church was good – well, as good as church can be I suppose. Gerald talked a lot about the four people we lost in the recent attack as well as about those who had attacked us. I think everyone is having trouble balancing their religion – or their personal morals and beliefs – with the reality that this new world is thrusting upon them.
Right and wrong, good and evil – the lines between these things have been blurred without the rules of modern society, and the structure of law and order that we were used to for so long. Were those people that came here evil or just desperate? Did we do the right thing by executing the ones we captured? Should we have let them go only to have them return with the rest of the group to try and take what is ours? Maybe we should have invited them to join us or offered them a portion of our supplies. How do we govern moving forward? Do we continue to let Gerald make the majority of the decisions for us? So far, he’s done a pretty darn good job, but at what point will he become more dictator than leader? Or will he? Eventually, power corrupts just about anyone who holds it long enough, no matter how well intentioned they are. Maybe it won’t matter. Maybe we’ll all be dead long before we get to that point. But will Gerald be the one who leads us there?
They are questions I can’t answer. I guess they are questions only time can answer. But how long do we wait to find out? And do we really want to know?
For now, it’s off to Sunday dinner. Then I think a good nap is in order.
3:43 p.m.
Sunday dinner was nice. We had several beef roasts and mashed potatoes, among assorted other items. People seem to be in better spirits now and a bit more relaxed. But I can tell that the attack – and the potential for a similar event – still weighs heavily on our small collective.
After dinner, since most of the community was already gathered together, we played a few games of bingo. Dylan won one game. His prize was several candy bars. He was super excited. Violet was jealous, but he shared with her, so she was happy.
Chase pulled me aside as we were leaving and asked if we would be attending tomorrow night’s movie at the Tivoli. I told him that I’d have to check my social schedule. I think he thought I was serious at first. We’re both pretty comfortable with one another, and even though we work together on a daily basis, we’re still at that point in our relationship (if you can call it that) where we’re getting to know the other’s personality and sense of humor.
As I was heading out the cafeteria door with the kids, I noticed him start talking to Erika.
I hope I’m not blowing it. Those old insecurities that came with the dating game are starting to creep in again. I was always so confident with Chris. I could do no wrong with him and I got complacent in maintaining my abilities to lure a man. Now I’m starting to question whether I’ve still got ‘it’.
I remember talking to a couple younger girls at a party for one of Chris’ friends back before the flu and listening to their frustrations regarding the dating scene. I tried (unsuccessfully) to sympathize. I reminded them how “fun and exciting” it could be to be on the prowl – the thrill of the hunt, the nervous anticipation of what COULD be. Neither of them thought that what they were going through was “exciting” at all and just wanted to find a good man.
Now I admit…they were right, it’s neither “fun” nor “exciting”. Frankly…it SUCKS!
Monday, October 21 st
7:41 a.m.
It’s another week of work. Hopefully, things will be a little calmer than last week. It’s slightly warmer out than it has been over the past few days. The temperature is hovering in the mid-30s right now, and from what I can see outside, it doesn’t look too windy. That should help us with staying warm at work.
Dylan has a pretty nasty cold, so I’m going to let him stay home today. He’s been working hard – especially for an eight-year-old – and I don’t want him pushing it. It’s just not worth it. I know he’ll be missed considering that we’re already shorthanded after losing our third scavenge team, but him taking a day or two off won’t hurt our collection efforts that much.
He wants to go over to the rec center to watch movies and play video games, but I told him no. He’s disappointed, but he needs to rest and I don’t want him spreading his germs to others. People are still quite touchy about those who get sick. They get nervous that it’s the initial stages of Su flu. I told Dylan that he should just read, rest, and enjoy getting to be warm and cozy in bed all day while the rest of us work. I made him a couple sandwiches and warmed some canned chicken noodle soup that I put in a thermos for later this morning if he wants it; otherwise, he can have it for lunch.
Now it’s time to drop Violet off and get to work. Duty calls.
12:50 p.m.
I warmed another can of chicken noodle soup to share with Violet while Dylan ate his. He wasn’t that hungry, but I reminded him that he needed to “starve a fever, feed a cold”. I tanked him up on bottled orange juice and some vitamin C tablets I found in a home we searched today.
I need to go “shopping” tonight at the armory. We’re getting a little low on our at-home supplies. We aren’t consuming much since dinners are provided each night, but I still need to load up on things like juice mix for the kids, canned veggies, soup, peanut butter and jelly, as well as crackers. Some real milk and a little fresh meat would be nice too. Since we don’t have a refrigerator in our apartment, I can put the fresh supplies out on the window sill to keep them cold now that the temperatures have dropped.
On the Chase front, he seemed a little distant today…or maybe it’s just me reading too much into things. It makes me wonder what happened with him and Erika after I left the cafeteria yesterday afternoon. I hope they didn’t hook up. God, listen to me. I sound like a freakin’ teenage girl. I’ve got to shake myself of this school-girl crush I’ve got going.
Life here is just so slow (when we’re not being attacked by armed intruders) that there’s little else to occupy my mind when I’m not working. And when I AM working, I’m around Chase all day. Ugh, there’s just no winning.
Speaking of work, I’d better wrap this up so I can get back. I dosed Dylan up on some cold medicine after he finished lunch, so hopefully he’ll sleep most of the afternoon. I hate leaving him here by himself, but I don’t have much of a choice. Edna said she would drop by in an hour or so to check on him. I thanked her but told her not to stay too long. I don’t want her catching his cold, especially at her age.
3:13 p.m.
A lone man arrived this afternoon. Our security personnel stopped him at the river bridge coming in from Bloomington. At first, they thought it was someone from the group that attacked us last week. But after questioning him, they allowed him access to town to speak with Gerald. I guess that after hearing what he had to say, Gerald wanted the rest of the town to hear it as well. He asked the man to address the entire town (minus security – they’ll be infor
med of what he says later) this afternoon.
Now we’re all gathered in the cafeteria waiting. I’ll write more when I have a better idea of what this is all about.
3:58 p.m.
Well that was interesting, heartbreaking, and unnerving all at the same time. I find myself both thankful and terribly dejected about the man’s presence here.
His name is Ronald, and he came all the way from Illinois. When he addressed us, he explained that he had formerly been a technician at the Clinton Nuclear Generating Station in Clinton, Illinois. He went on to say that he had worked at the power plant before the flu hit. When people started getting sick and the flu virus began to spread exponentially, the plant was rapidly left with just a skeleton crew to keep things running. Many employees either got sick or refused to return to work for fear of contracting the virus. By the time it became apparent that the flu had gotten out of control and it was determined that the reactor should be shut down, Ronald and one other man were the only ones who remained well enough to maintain the station. The problem that Ronald and Bill (the other technician) faced was that both of them were lower-level technicians and not sufficiently trained in all aspects of operating (or shutting down) a nuclear power plant.
The two men eventually moved in to live full time at the plant since they were too afraid to leave it unattended. They spent several weeks trying to maintain the reactor until relief arrived. But the help they were waiting for never came. And as time passed, they came to the realization that they would have to abandon the plant either due to lack of supplies or the issues they knew would eventually arise with the reactor…or both.
And that was why Ronald was in Spencer now.
Eventually, the core temperature of the reactor began to rise. Neither he nor Bill knew how to get it back down, and they knew the temperature would continue to rise until a meltdown became inevitable. The two men remembered what had happened at the Chernobyl disaster in Ukraine back in the 1980s, and they understood the ramifications of the aftereffects. The explosion from such a disaster would send a cloud of highly radioactive dust into the atmosphere, potentially killing or severely debilitating any living thing in its path. Both Ronald and Bill felt an obligation to warn as many people as possible who remained in the eventual radioactive cloud’s potential path of the looming threat. Therefore, they parted ways, abandoning the doomed reactor. They each took a vehicle and extra fuel and drove east. Ronald had been zigzagging his way from Illinois into Indiana and was headed for Ohio next, driving from town to town trying to alert as many people as possible as to what was headed their way. He had departed the power plant nearly three days ago when he and Bill had determined that the reactor’s meltdown was inevitable. He had no idea whether an explosion had already occurred, but what he DID know was that the prevailing winds would likely carry large amounts of radioactive dust from such a disaster right over Spencer whenever it occurred. The affects of such high doses of radiation he said could be significant and long-lasting. He explained that he had already warned as many of the few remaining residents of Bloomington of the impending danger as he could, and he had asked them to spread the word to anyone else that they knew. He had then made a brief stop in Ellettsville, and was now doing the same for us.
After Ronald finished explaining the situation, Gerald took over. He offered to feed Ronald as well as provide him a bed for a night or two where he could recover from his arduous trek (the poor man didn’t look like he’d slept in days). While Ronald was grateful for the offer, he said he had to continue spreading the word to as many people as possible. He told us that the people who had managed to survive the flu had already suffered enough and that life was hard enough now without being afflicted with the horrors that large doses of radioactive material would bear with it. He went on to say that he felt it his duty as an employee of the power station and his obligation as a human being to save as many people from the harmful affects of the radiation as he could.
The poor man. I feel bad for him. He seems to be taking responsibility for what is happening even though it’s not his fault. I thank God for his efforts, though. I can only imagine what horrors we might have to endure had he not informed us of what is coming.
Gerald has now called a town meeting scheduled for five o’clock at the courthouse to discuss the information Ronald has brought to our attention. He has dispatched messengers to contact as many of those living outside of town as they can find.
6:27 p.m.
Our regular communal dinner was canceled for tonight. Instead, a sandwich bar was hastily erected at the courthouse outside the courtroom where our meeting regarding the looming nuclear disaster was held. There was ham and cheese, peanut butter and jelly, some chicken salad, slices of beef, individual-sized bags of chips, condiments, and bottled water. People collected their food before entering the courtroom for the meeting.
Once the majority of the town was settled (minus the few sentries we left on guard duty to protect the roads into town), Gerald began. There were around 20 people from outside the town who had arrived for the meeting as well.
Gerald started by rehashing the information Ronald had relayed to us for those who hadn’t been present for the prior meeting. After he was done, he opened the floor for thoughts and comments from the group. As we went around the room, it soon became apparent that a minority of our people was of the opinion that Ronald, and the message he delivered, might just be a ruse by the group who had previously attacked us. They thought it could be a well-though-out plan to get us to let our guard down or just abandon the town completely.
This theory was quickly dispelled by some very astute observations by Chase and Gerald. First, they pointed out that they had checked Ronald’s identification. He had an Illinois driver’s license with a home address in Clinton, Illinois. Second, he also had on him an identification badge with his picture on it from the nuclear power plant where he said he’d been employed. And while such identification could be forged, it seemed unlikely. Third, Chase raised the question as to why Ronald would come to warn us to leave the town, giving us time to load up a large portion of our supplies to take with us, if the intent of the outsiders who had attacked us was to obtain supplies. It didn’t make any sense. If he was part of a group that wanted what we had, they would either have attempted another attack or used a ploy that wouldn’t have involved giving us time to take our supplies with us. Someone pointed out that they might just be after the remaining supplies in the homes we’d yet to scavenge, but most everyone agreed that it wasn’t worth chancing the effects of the radiation possibly headed our way to find out.
After everyone who wanted to be heard on the issue had their chance to talk, the majority of the people in attendance agreed that Ronald was apparently legit and was speaking the truth regarding the disaster heading our way. We took a vote to find out the group’s attitude toward the situation – “real” or “ruse” – and almost everyone voted “real”. Even after the vote; however, there were still a few people who grumbled that this was just a way to get us out of town so that the group could scavenge what remained. For these people, Gerald noted that they were welcome to stay and risk being exposed to deadly amounts of radiation to find out, but that he was of the mindset that we shouldn’t take such a risk. He therefore put it the decision to another vote – “stay” or “go”.
After more debating, we voted almost unanimously to “go”. It was a sobering vote to say the least and one that we realized would throw our lives into turmoil. If this is just a scam by those outsiders trying to take what we have, it’s brilliant. While I really don’t think it is, there’s no way to know for sure. And dismissing Ronald’s warning could kill or debilitate us all in terrible fashion.
After the vote was taken, we then debated how and where we would go. The first idea was to form a large convoy and head south. It was the one direction that would take us away from the potential radioactive cloud that would be moving west to east, and at the same time, toward warmer weather.
The concern about this move was that we would likely encounter roadblocks like the ones we had in place around Spencer along our way. And then of course there was the potential for roadside bandits or marauding gangs. And who knew what lurked around larger cities. I had already related my experience traveling through Indianapolis by rail, so I can only imagine what it would be like by vehicle.
Then there was the question of how many running vehicles it would take to transport all our people and supplies, not to mention the issue of having to fuel them all.
While I was sitting, listening to all this, it got me thinking, and eventually brought me around to mentioning the train. It was still operational, still had plenty of fuel, and it could provide a safe, sturdy, and relatively secluded way to travel that could efficiently haul plenty of people and materials.
Gerald liked the idea, and thought it our best course of action, especially considering the railway leaving Spencer continued south once it reached the outskirts of town. From that point, the line continued past Freedom and into Greene County, but once there, no one really knew exactly where it would take us. To the majority of the group, it didn’t matter, as long as it got us away from the imminent danger apparently headed our way.
Therefore, after another quick, and again, nearly unanimous vote, it was decided that the train the kids and I had arrived on would be our chosen mode of departure.
The Pandemic Diaries [Books 1-3] Page 24