by J. S. Cooper
“Riley?” he whispered, but I kept my eyes closed. I felt his arm move around my waist, and I moved in closer to him, pretending to still be asleep. I gasped inwardly as I felt my hand touch his naked chest. My eyes peeked open to confirm that he had no shirt on. “Riley,” he whispered again, and I felt his hands on my face. I looked up at him slowly and saw a smile on his face. “Did I wake you up?”
“No.” I shook my head and made a face.
“Am I making you hot?”
“No.” I shook my head again. “In fact, you’re warming me up. I was a little cold.”
“Oh, well we can’t have you lying there cold.” He put both his arms around me then and pulled me closer to him. I shifted my legs and found them rubbing up against his. “I love the feel of your smooth legs against my hairy ones,” he whispered in my ear, and I giggled.
“You could have smooth legs too.”
“Are you telling me to shave them?” He made a face, and I shook my head.
“I’d never say that.” I ran my fingers against his chest hair. “That’s what makes you a man.”
He raised an eyebrow at me. “My chest hair makes me a man?”
“Not just your chest hair.”
“Oh good, I was about to say. I thought it was my dick that made me a man.”
“Hudson.” I pinched him and he chuckled.
“Sorry.” He stroked my hair and sighed. “This was a bad idea.”
“What was a bad idea?”
“Having you sleep with me.”
“Why?”
“Because I want to do so much more than sleep.” He looked at me then, but I didn’t know what to say to him. How could I tell him that I wanted to do more than just sleep with him as well? “Sorry. Did I upset you?”
“No.” I shook my head, and he sighed.
“I’ve missed you.” He gave me a sweet smile. “You look so beautiful. I’m so proud of the woman you’ve become.”
“I missed you too.” I bit my lower lip and stared into his eyes. “I’m sorry I came on this trip. I know you didn’t want me to.”
“I’m glad you came.”
“Why?” I asked in a hushed tone. My heart was thudding and I felt like I was getting a fever from being so close to him.
“Because I get to do this.” He leaned forward and kissed me, his eyes never leaving mine. His lips tasted salty, and I kissed him back. Our lips connected for a few seconds before he pulled back. “Sorry.” He sighed and rubbed his forehead. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
“I didn’t say no.”
He shook his head. “We shouldn’t do this again.”
“Fine.” I pulled away from him slightly. I was hurt. I was so into him, and I wanted to touch him again so badly, but he just seemed to want to push me away.
“Don’t be upset.” He grabbed me around the waist and pulled me towards him. “What are you doing to me, Riley?”
“Nothing,” I mumbled, frustrated and confused.
“I want to kiss you again,” he sighed, and I felt his fingers running up and down my back.
“You can kiss me again.”
“No.” He shook his head. “I can’t.”
“Why not?” I asked, disappointed.
“I want to do more than kiss you, Riley. I want to hold you and touch you. I want to feel you. I want to make love to you.” He groaned as I grabbed his hand and placed it on my breast. “What are you doing to me?”
“I want to make love to you as well,” I whispered against his lips. “I want to taste and feel you, too.”
“We can’t do this.” He shook his head. “I’m not good for you.”
“Let me decide that.” I licked his lips.
“Riley,” he groaned. “You don’t know how badly I want this to happen, but I can’t. I just can’t.”
“Don’t you like me?” I whispered, hurt.
“Don’t you get it?” His fingers gripped my chin and made me look at him. “I more than like you, Riley. I’ve always liked you. But look what happened. What we did. What I did. I don’t deserve you. I have things I have to do.”
“I heard about Clara’s mom.” I traced the lines under his eyes. “I know why you’re entering the fight.”
“She nearly got evicted.” He closed his eyes. “It’s my fault.”
“That’s not your fault.”
“Clara was going to take care of her.” He eyes looked bleak. “She was going to become a doctor so that she could help people and make enough money to support her mom.”
“She was a good person.”
“She had issues. We all do.” He sighed. “She liked to drink. I knew that. That always hits me. I knew she was drunk that night.” He shook his head, and his voice sounded angry. “I knew she wanted to go to the bar. I should have stayed.”
“I’m the one who convinced you to leave.” I bit my lower lip. “It was my fault.”
“Never say that.” He shook his head. “It was not your fault.”
“Hudson, I’ve got something to tell you.” I took a deep breath and was about to tell him about the text message I’d deleted when his lips found mine again.
This time, they were hard and passionate. His tongue slipped into my mouth eagerly, and my fingers ran up and down his back. He groaned against me, and I pushed my legs between his. He was wearing a pair of boxer shorts, and I felt his hardness against my leg. I reached down and slipped my fingers into his shorts and he gasped. He pulled away from me slightly with a question in his eyes.
I leaned towards him and kissed him again as he pushed me onto my back. His fingers slipped under my t-shirt, and he groaned as he realized that I wasn’t wearing a bra.
“Oh, Riley, what are you doing to me?” he muttered against my lips, and I ran my fingers down his hardness, holding him in my hands softly and squeezing him gently. My fingers ran to the tip of him, and I felt his body tremble as I reached down and tugged on his balls. “I love the way you taste,” he groaned as he kissed my neck and sucked on the skin, giving me a hickey. His fingers played with my nipples, and I moaned as I felt his hands moving south. “I wish I could see you,” he whispered in my ears.
“You can see me,” I whispered back.
“I mean I wish I could see all of your body,” he groaned. “I want to suck on your nipples right now.”
“Oh!” I gasped as his fingers slipped into my shorts and worked their way into my panties. “Ohhh, Hudson.”
“We have to be quiet.” He pressed his lips against mine. “We don’t want anyone to know what we’re doing.”
“Do you think they suspect?”
“I don’t care.” He half-laughed. “They can suspect what they want.”
“You don’t like them, do you?” My back arched as his fingers gently rubbed me. “Oh, Hudson.” I squeezed my legs together, and his eyes blazed into mine.
“They mean nothing to me.” He kissed me. “Nothing at all.”
“I see.” I closed my eyes and then stilled as I felt him gently pulling my panties down. “What are you doing?”
“What do you think?” He grinned and licked his lips.
“Can we do this?” I whispered back, very much wanting to do it.
“It’s up to you.” He looked at me, and I lay back, pulled my panties and shorts completely off, and stared back at him. “Are you sure?”
I looked at him and nodded. “Yes, are you?”
“I shouldn’t,” he groaned. “There are so many reasons why I shouldn’t, but I don’t think I can say no.”
“None of the reasons are good ones.” I pulled my t-shirt off and pressed my breasts against him. He groaned and pulled his boxer shorts down.
“You have to turn around,” he whispered softly.
“Why?”
“Because I’m going to have to do you from behind.” His voice was hoarse. “If I’m on top of you or if you’re on top of me, it will be too obvious.”
“Oh.” I blushed, feeling stupid. “I didn’t think abo
ut that.”
“We’ll have to spoon. Turn around,” he commanded, and I rolled over. He immediately put his arms around me and pulled me back into him. “Oh, God, what are we doing?” he groaned, and I felt his hardness against my ass.
His fingers played with my stomach before moving up and grabbing my breasts. He squeezed my nipples hard, and I moved my ass back against him. His left hand then reached down between my legs, and he groaned again.
“You’re so wet,” he muttered, his voice deep, and I trembled as he played with me. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to just experience the familiar and wonderful feelings that were flowing through me. “Are you sure you want to do this?” he whispered in my ear as he lifted one of my legs up. “Back your ass up a bit and move forward slightly,” he commanded without waiting for an answer.
I shifted slightly and felt him move his cock between my legs. He rubbed the tip up against me and I gasped.
“I’m sure. Please, Hudson. I want this. I need this.” I pushed back against him and he groaned.
“I don’t have a condom,” he muttered into my ear.
“I don’t mind,” I moaned, not caring and not thinking.
“I haven’t been with anyone,” he whispered. “Not since you.”
“Neither have I,” I whispered back, and I felt his body freeze.
“So I’m the only one you’ve ever been with.”
“Yes,” I whispered and shivered. I wanted to tell him that he was the only one I’d ever wanted to be with.
“Oh.” His fingers rubbed me gently, and I felt my body trembling as he teased me. “Is it horrible that I take such pleasure in knowing that?”
“No,” I mumbled, delighting in the feel of his fingers against me.
“I’ll pull out,” he grunted in my ear. “To be careful.”
“Okay.” I nodded, not caring, not thinking. He could have told me anything in that moment and I would have agreed. I could feel the tip of him rubbing against me and I just wanted him inside me.
“Are you okay with that?” His fingers increased their pace and slipped inside me. “It’s still a risk.”
“I don’t care,” I moaned. “Please, Hudson.”
“We shouldn’t do this,” he groaned as I had my first orgasm and my walls closed in on his fingers.
“Please, Hudson,” I moaned and reached behind me. “I want to.”
“I can’t say no to you.” He kissed my head and pushed me back. His cock entered me slowly, and I nearly cried out as he moved inside me. “You feel so good, even better than I remembered.” He grabbed my hips and moved slowly in and out of me. I moved my hips back and forth, trying to meet his thrusts as much as possible, and I could hear his heavy breathing behind me. “Oh, Riley,” he groaned into my ear as he played with my breasts. “Being in you feels like home.”
“Shh.” I trembled as he started moving faster. I grabbed his hand, moving it down between my legs, and I heard his chuckle as he started rubbing me as he slid in and out of me.
“You know what you like,” He grunted.
“Yes,” I groaned as I felt my orgasm building up. I was on the edge of coming when he stilled.
“I have to pull out now,” he muttered and slowed down.
I groaned and shook my head. “Please, not yet.”
“I can’t stop myself,” he groaned as I closed my legs and backed into him. “I’m going to come.”
“Please, not yet,” I moaned passionately. “I’m so close.”
“I’ll have to go slow.” His fingers started rubbing me quickly as his cock started moving slowly. His cock felt hard and deep in me, and I wiggled back against him and slowly moved my hips.
“No, Riley,” he whispered and grabbed my hips. “Please, stop for a second.”
“You guys okay?” Justin’s voice halted us both still and I froze as I saw him walking towards us.
“Yeah, why?” Hudson responded impatiently.
“Just heard you whispering. Thought you were arguing.” He looked down at us with squinty eyes. “Just wanted to make sure.”
“We’re fine,” Hudson grunted, and I tried not to laugh as I wiggled against him. His hand flew to my stomach to try and stop me from moving, but I couldn’t stop myself.
“Tomorrow should be fun, right?” Justin continued, and Hudson didn’t hold back his groan. “What did you say?” Justin asked.
“Nothing.” Hudson’s voice was hoarse, and I ground back into him. “Stop,” he hissed in my ear, but I couldn’t. I was too excited.
For some reason, I was feeling even hornier and turned on. I reached my hand between my legs and started playing with myself. Then I felt him sliding slowly in and out of me.
“You excited about the final fight?” Justin continued, and I nearly laughed.
“Yeah,” Hudson sighed, and I felt him increase his pace slightly.
“Okay, I guess you’re sleepy.” Justin sounded disappointed that Hudson hadn’t said more and walked away.
“Idiot,” Hudson whispered in my ear and I laughed. “You’re a bad girl, Riley.”
His fingers went to the front of me and he gasped as he realized I was pleasuring myself. His fingers met mine and I guided them along my sex. He started moving his cock in and out of me faster, and within a minute, I felt my muscles clenching down on him as I came.
“Oh shit.” Hudson grabbed my hips and slammed in and out of me, grunting into my shoulder as his body trembled. I felt his body still and he pulled out quickly. I felt his warm sperm on my legs and butt. “Shit,” he groaned as he lay back.
“What’s wrong?” I turned towards him and kissed him.
“I may have pulled out too late.” His eyes looked worried, and I stroked his face.
“It’ll be okay.”
“I’m sorry.” He shook his head. “I should have known better.” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I don’t suppose you’re on the pill, are you?”
“I am.” I nodded and giggled at the look of confusion in his eyes. “My doctor prescribed it to help regulate my period.”
“Oh.” He sighed and then smiled. “You should have told me.”
“You never asked.” I smiled, and he growled.
“Come here.” He opened his arms and I snuggled into his chest. “You feel so soft and warm.”
“So do you.”
“I can’t believe we did this.” He shook his head and held me tight. “I didn’t deserve to get another night with you.”
“Maybe we’re just meant to be together.”
“I don’t deserve you.” He buried his face into my neck. “I don’t deserve to be happy.”
“Everyone deserves to be happy,” I said sleepily as I closed my eyes.
“Sinners don’t,” he whispered next to me as I fell asleep.
I heard someone’s phone ringing as I slept, but I was so exhausted and happy that I didn’t bother opening my eyes. I didn’t even stir when Hudson got out of the sleeping bag. I knew that he was just going to the bathroom or something. I lay on that sleeping bag content as could be, all worries gone from my mind. Everything is going to be okay, I thought to myself as I hugged my secret in. Everything is going to be okay.
It took me about thirty minutes to realize that I was wrong. My eyes popped open and I lay there feeling worried and alone. Hudson hadn’t come back from his bathroom trip. I looked to the side and realized that his bag was gone. He’d left me. He’d gone. Everything in my world was black again. Once again, I was the girl who had killed his girlfriend or was at least responsible for her death and I was never going to be able to stop paying for it.
Chapter 13
Hudson
Present Day
The bus stop was in a desolate location. A location that fit my mood. I stood there waiting with panic and anxiety running through my veins, though it was the guilt that pervaded me the most. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and called the hospital.
“Mercy Hospital, how may I direct your call?
”
“I’m calling to check on a patient,” I quickly said into the phone.
“Sir, we can’t give out privileged information over the phone.”
“Jamilah Brown is her name!” I shouted. “I need to know if she’s okay!”
“Sir, I’m afraid you will have to come into the hospital.”
“What do you think I’m trying to do?” I shouted and hung up the phone angrily. I felt sick to my stomach as I stood there. If Jamilah didn’t make it, I would never forgive myself.
I wondered what I should have done to prevent this. I’d told Jamilah not to swim in the pool by herself. She’d promised me that she wouldn’t do it. Should I have told her mom? I hadn’t wanted her to get banned from swimming altogether, and she had promised me. She’d promised me she wouldn’t go without me.
But you can’t be there all the time, Hudson.
I closed my eyes as I thought about her in the pool. She’d gotten a cramp, her mom had said when she’d called crying. She’d gone swimming late at night and gotten a cramp in her legs in the deep end. She’d swallowed a lot of water. She’d nearly drowned. My heart stopped for a moment. I didn’t know what that meant. I didn’t know if she was okay. If she died, I didn’t know what I would do.
It’s a sign, a voice whispered inside of me. It’s a sign that you shouldn’t be with Riley.
Every time I slept with her, something bad happened. I knew the universe was telling me that I didn’t deserve her. She was too pure and innocent for me. She was good, while I was bad. That didn’t mean I would stop loving her. It just meant I had to start resisting her.
Making love to her tonight had been like heaven on earth. It had felt even better than the first time. I’d felt like I’d gone home again. She’d fit against me so perfectly. For a few minutes, everything in my life had seemed like it was going to be okay. If I closed my eyes and stood perfectly still, I could still smell her. That smell of sex and sin mixed together made my blood boil over. I hadn’t known that one woman could affect me so deeply. I knew in my heart that there would never be anyone else for me. Riley was the one. She had always been the one. I felt tears rolling down my eyes as I realized I had to let her go.