“No. You’re—”
“Don’t. Just don’t.” She shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut tight. Her lashes were rimmed with tears.
He clenched his jaw and his head was pounding with the effort of holding his emotions in place. He wanted to hold her, to comfort her, but when he reached out to her she backed away, and then she was running again. Her feet hit one stair after another, and the space between was filled with quiet sobs.
Even when he could no longer hear her running, the sobs persisted.
They were coming from him.
* * * *
The windows of Kate’s car fogged with her breath and her head rubbed against the steering wheel with each sob. It was supposed to be a good day-the greatest day-the day she was finally going to tell James about her bakery. She had spent the better part of the afternoon cooking and setting up a makeshift bed in her new apartment. All for nothing. Her knuckles turned white as she gripped the steering wheel.
After taking a deep ragged breath, Kate started her car and drove back to her bakery. The smell of dinner waiting in the oven did nothing to rouse her appetite. She turned everything off, passed the table set for two, and dragged herself upstairs.
The unlit candles were a painful reminder of the night that could’ve been, so she shoved them all into a cupboard and sat down. The pile of blankets and pillows on the floor welcomed her exhausted body. Eventually, she ran out of tears and fell asleep.
The alarm on her phone woke her the next morning. Her eyes were swollen and ached when she opened them. She was supposed to work in the office today. Right down the hall from James. A sob choked her. She couldn’t run the risk of seeing him.
After taking a few deep breaths, she called Carrie. “Hi Carrie, it’s Kate.”
“Hiya Kate, you don’t sound so good. Are you sick?”
“No, not sick, but I can’t come into work this week. I’m so sorry.” Kate was on the verge of crying again.
“Hey.” Carrie soothed her through the phone. “Don’t worry about it. There are only two more weeks of this semester, and seeing as how it’s your last one, I’m sure you’ve got a lot on your plate.”
“I do. I have more than I can handle right now. I’m so sorry, Carrie. I don’t want to leave you high and dry.” Kate sniffed and wiped her nose.
“It’s quiet around here. Next week might get a little busy, but I’ve got plenty of time to find help. Really Kate, don’t you worry about me. It’s me that’s worried about you! Is it your folks?”
“No, they’re fine, it’s just, um, personal stuff. I just need some time to get myself together. I’ll be okay.” Kate squeezed her eyes shut and tried to believe what she was saying.
“Just promise you’ll come see me before graduation, okay?”
Kate could hear the smile in her voice. “I promise.”
Her conversation with Carrie solved one of her problems. She still had to deal with facing James in class for the next two weeks. Tim might be willing to help, but he would have to know what happened. Meg would also want to know, so she texted them both and had them meet her at the bakery an hour later.
Meg and Tim came in together, right on time, with smiles plastered to their faces. They were obviously not prepared for the cloud of sadness that surrounded her. Neither of them spoke, they only hugged her and waited for her to tell them what happened. They all sat down at one of the tables.
“James broke up with me last night.” Kate took a deep breath and forced herself to move on before she cried again. “Dr. Moore accused him of having an affair with a student, and threatened to fire him. What could he do?”
“He could’ve chosen you.” Meg touched her hand.
“He’s worked for years for this job, I never wanted to come between him and his goals. The worst part is that he didn’t want to wait for me to graduate.” A tear ran down her cheek.
“Oh Katie, I’m so sorry.” Tim wiped her cheek. “You love him, don’t you?”
Kate bit her lip and nodded. “I never told him though. I also never told him about any of this.” She swept her hands around the empty dining area of her bakery. “I was going to tell him last night.” Tears started streaming down her cheeks again as the pain resurfaced.
“What can we do to help?” Meg and Tim both leaned across the table ready for directions.
“I need to move out of the dorms. I can’t stand the thought of being so close to him.”
“Done.” Meg nodded.
“What about class?” Tim furrowed his brow.
“I was hoping you might help me, Timmy. If you could take notes, I’ll copy them and study on my own.”
“I can’t take notes for lab. I also can’t do those labs by myself.”
Kate shrugged. “I’ll think of something. Don’t worry, Timmy, I’m not going to abandon you, even if it means having to see him. There are only two more labs. I think I could probably handle that.” She swallowed hard.
“So, when are you going to open?” Meg looked at the paper-covered windows.
“The fifteenth.”
“That’s your graduation day.” Tim gaped at her.
“So? My parents aren’t able to come, and as long as I can celebrate with you guys, I’ll be good. This is much more important than walking across a stage. Plus I could sell pies and stuff for holiday parties.” She sighed. “I still need to post a help wanted ad.”
“I could always work for you, over the break, if you want,” Meg offered.
“Thanks Meg. That would be so great. I was worried about being able to find someone on such short notice.”
Tim looked at the table. “I’m going home the day after you open, so I won’t be able to help.”
“Hey, I wasn’t expecting any help, don’t worry about it Tim.” She pointed her finger at him. “You did promise to go shopping with me for restaurant supplies though. Are you still up for it? I still need to find another oven.”
He clapped his hands together and nodded. “Yes.”
“You’ll need furniture for your apartment too.”
“Starting with a bed. I slept on the floor last night, and it was horrible.” The floor wasn’t as horrible as the emptiness.
“I can do it now.” Meg smiled.
Tim checked his watch. “I’ve got class at eleven, but I’ll come back right after so we can get started.” He stood and pulled Kate into a hug. “I’ll be back.”
Meg got up too. “While we wait for him, we can get some of your stuff out of the dorms. Do you have any boxes?”
Kate shook her head and then an idea popped in. “Brandie might though. She runs the bookstore next door.”
“Well then, let’s ask Brandie.”
After a few quick introductions, Brandie handed over several boxes and Meg and Kate drove separately to their dorms.
“I think we should leave the bedding intact, just in case you can’t get a mattress delivered for a few days. You should also leave a few outfits here.” Meg flipped through her closet.
Kate came up next to her and tossed a few articles of clothing onto the bed. “There. Now we can pack the rest.”
Meg filled her arms and lifted, pulling half the contents out of the closet at once. “No sense in taking them off their hangers and folding them, right?” She draped them inside a large box.
They filled one box after another, collecting almost everything from the small room. It took three trips to their cars and then they were on their way back to the bakery.
“These stairs are killing me.” Meg leaned against the wall and took a deep breath. “Please tell me you’re going to pay for delivery service for furniture.”
“I’m going to have to. My car isn’t big enough for a bed or a couch.”
“Good.” She smiled and finished the trek up the stairs.
Tim arrived while Meg and Kate were just finishing unpacking.
“Is this all your stuff?” Tim looked around at the handful of boxes on the counters and floors.
�
�I don’t own much. This is mostly clothes and books. The cooking supplies are down in the kitchen already.”
“I suggest we go find you furniture, and then hit the restaurant supply store.” Tim motioned for the door and ushered his friends downstairs. “But before we do anything, we’re going to lunch. I’m driving, so just point me in the right direction.”
The day passed quickly, and by the time the sun went down, Tim’s trunk was heavy with boxes of flatware, plates, bowls, serving trays, a few pots and pans, and sheets for her new bed.
Kate sat in the passenger seat, looking at the receipts in her hands. “I can’t believe I spent so much money. I spent thousands of dollars in less than five hours.”
Meg gave her shoulder a reassuring pat. “Yeah, but your apartment will be furnished and you’ll be able to serve food at your bakery. I still can’t believe they’re going to deliver your furniture tomorrow night.”
“Thank you for going out with me. Let me make you dinner.” Being alone meant thinking of James. She couldn’t do that to herself.
Tim grinned. “I can’t say no to that. We’ll unpack while you cook.”
As she unlocked her dorm room, James’ key caught her eye. Her life was about to start, but all she wanted to do was go back in time. Moving out was supposed to be a joyous occasion. It was the last night she would spend in an overpriced building full of noisy students and communal showers. But as she squinted across the road toward James’ dark apartment, sorrow tugged at her. Two days ago, when she thought of her future, he was a part of it. Now, she was on her own.
She sat on the edge of her bed and cried.
Chapter 23
Wednesday morning, James took a pile of papers to Carrie’s office. “Is Miss Rhodes coming in today?” It was a risky move, but he had to know.
Carrie frowned. “No. I’m afraid she won’t. She called me this morning and explained she had a personal crisis. With only two weeks left, I told her not to worry about coming in. I sure will miss her though, she was the most competent assistant I ever had.”
“Oh.” He clutched the papers to his chest.
“I can help you, if you need help.” She nodded to the papers.
James shook his head. “No, you’ll be busy enough without her help. I can take care of these on my own.”
Worry still creased her forehead. “Well, all right, but if you change your mind, you just give me a holler.”
He paced the floor in his office. He wanted to puke. Kate was having a personal crisis, and he had caused it.
Her text was still on his phone.
I’m on my way :)
Sobs racked his chest as he thought of everything he had lost.
On Wednesday, as James waited for everyone to get to class, the heaviness in his heart took a firm hold as he realized Kate wasn’t coming. It was obvious by the way Tim looked at him that he knew about his relationship with Kate. The fact of the matter was, Tim could’ve reported them if he was planning to. At this point, James had nothing to lose by asking him, so after class, he pulled him aside.
“She’s asked me to take notes for her for the last four classes.” Tim narrowed his eyes. “And you damn well better not give her an Unofficial Withdrawal. She’s completed far more than sixty percent of this class.”
James exhaled. “Attendance isn’t required for class, but it is for lab. Will you please tell her I’ll have a sub for the last two labs?”
“Yes. I’ll tell her.” Tim gave him a long look before he left.
* * * *
Kate paced the floor of her bakery as she waited for Tim to deliver biochemistry notes. It was the first class she missed all semester.
“He’s going to have a sub in lab,” Tim blurted out.
“What?” Kate’s mouth hung open
“I know. It shocked me too. He said you couldn’t miss lab, so he said he’d have a sub for the last two labs.”
Kate blinked the tears out of her eyes. “Okay then, I guess that solves that problem. How was class?”
“Okay. He asked about you.”
Kate nodded and squeezed her eyes shut, her voice cracked when she spoke. “Thanks for taking notes and bringing them to me. I made cookies.”
“You don’t have to make me cookies every time I help you.”
“Yes I do. It’s the only way I can thank you.” She turned and looked up at the walls. “Timmy, would you help me decorate the walls tomorrow? The white is so stark, and I’d love to add a little personality to it. I want to draw the chemical structures of sucrose, fructose, and other food-related molecules.”
“You can count on me.”
Kate copied Tim’s note meticulously before he left, and while she was reading her biochemistry book and going over the notes, the delivery truck from the furniture store pulled up outside.
A burly man wearing a black back brace came in, holding a clipboard. “Are you Kate Rhodes?”
Kate nodded.
“We’ve got your delivery. Can you show me where it’s going before I have the guys move it in?”
Kate led him upstairs and explained where she wanted each piece of furniture. An hour later, her apartment had a couch, kitchen table, chairs, a dresser, and a queen-size bed. The bed took up most of the small bedroom, but it was worth it. It was definitely a step up from the twin bed in her dorm.
Before the delivery truck driver left, Kate loaded a to-go box with cookies as a thank you for working so hard. The three men were happy to take them, and after taking a bite, they all agreed they would be stopping by once the bakery opened.
Warm and fluffy from the Laundromat, Kate tugged her sheets over her new bed. She smiled for the first time in days. It was a fresh start, and despite how much her heart still hurt, holding onto the pain would only slow her down. She didn’t have time to grieve anymore. She had a bakery to open.
* * * *
After their game of racquetball, James and Sam worked side-by-side in the research lab. “Sam, can I ask a favor?”
“Shoot.”
“I was hoping you would be willing to sub for my Biochem lab for the next two Fridays. Lab runs from two to five in the afternoon.”
“What have you got going on that you can’t make it?”
“I fucked up Sam.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“How much do you know?” James rubbed his temples.
“Bits and pieces. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out your mystery girlfriend is mysterious for a reason. Lloyd is wound tight.”
“She’s not my girlfriend anymore. I broke it off,” he whispered into his hands as he buried his face in his palms.
“Hey.” His voice was as soft as his touch. “I personally think the handbook is outdated. Consensual relationships are just that. Consensual. I know you well enough to know you understand the importance of your position here, and know you would always place your students and your job ahead of your personal interests.”
“Thanks, you’re a lot more compassionate than my brother. So can you do it?”
Sam held out his hand. “Give me the manual so I know what I’m getting myself into.” He looked it over and nodded. “I can do this. No worries. You want me to collect their notebooks after each lab?”
“Yes.”
“Can I ask a question?”
James nodded and held his breath.
“If she means this much to you, can’t you just wait until she graduates?”
James squeezed his eyes shut. “I’ve already asked too much, I couldn’t ask her to put her life on hold for the next five months.”
“May isn’t as far away as you think.”
* * * *
Vanillin, caffeine, albumin, oleic acid, sodium bicarbonate, sodium chloride, theobromine, gluten, and citric acid joined the sucrose and fructose structures on the walls of Kate’s bakery. Each one featured the chemical formula under it.
“Thanks again Timmy.”
“No problem.”
“I talked
to the sign company today. They’re going to have my sign ready by next week. Wanna see what it’ll look like?” Kate opened her notebook and showed him her sketch. “They’re going to put a sucrose structure on either side the words: Sweet Chemistry. Oh, and my extra oven is going to be installed in a couple of days.”
“It’s going to look awesome. You need to put a sign in the window saying what you’re going to serve and when you’ll open. You know, to stir up some excitement.”
Kate made notes in her notebook. “Good idea. Look, I got an open sign and a bell for the front door today.”
“You’re on your way Katie!” Tim hugged her.
Between classes on Friday, Kate made a stop at the dorms. She stripped the bed and did a final sweep of the room.
Kate waited until the very last minute to slip into lab that afternoon. She gave a quick explanation of her absence to her classmates. It wasn’t the full truth, but she couldn’t risk James finding out about her bakery.
True to his word James had a substitute in lab. It was Dr. Bellevue. Kate knew him from a class she had taken last year, and also from the stories James had told her. Perhaps he knew about her too, but she didn’t interact with him enough to find out.
* * * *
“Well, how did it go?” James shifted on his feet.
“Fine.” Sam handed him a stack of notebooks. “I saw quite a few of my old students.”
“I’m glad they didn’t give you a hard time.”
“Well, Angelica did, but only because she wanted to see you. Was she the one who—?”
James frowned. “No. Not even a little bit. She has a crush on me.” He cringed.
“Wow. I’d be careful with that one.” Sam let out a slow whistle. “Are you doing all right?”
“I guess.” James shrugged. “I miss her, but I can’t talk to her.”
“That’s rough. I don’t know where I’d be without Terri.”
“It feels like part of me is missing without her.”
“That sounds like love.”
“Maybe…” James looked away.
Saturday, James went to his balcony. He had been using the binoculars Kate had given him to try and see her, but it was always too dark to see anything the last few nights. During the middle of the day, enough light spilled in her room for him to see clearly. He gasped. Her room was empty.
Sweet Chemistry Page 20