by Andrea Boyd
I stood and walked cautiously toward her. I was not at all sure how I was about to be received. “Brianna, I have been such a fool. You are right. I have been allowing my father to dictate our lives, and I did not even realize it. But you are wrong in thinking I do not want to be with you, that I am not attracted to you. I promise to be honest and open with you from here on.”
I said a silent prayer for guidance, hoping I had not done irreparable damage. She had not turned away from me yet. I placed my hands on her arms that were now folded tightly across her chest. “I had said before that I had a crush on you, but the truth is I have been in love with you since we were children. You are the only woman I have ever dreamed of being with. Every time we have kissed, it has left me burning with desire for you. Pulling away from you has to be the most dim-witted thing I have ever done, and I hate myself for making you feel unwanted. I am truly sorry. Can you ever forgive me?”
She did not say anything, but she visibly deflated right in front of me. I could see the relief in her face at my confession. I took a chance by pulling her into my arms for a kiss. I poured everything I had into that kiss, and she immediately responded. With relief, I took it as a sign of her forgiveness. I picked her up and carried her into our bedchamber.
Before that night when I had thought about what our first time together would be like, there was excitement, a little fear, and speculation as to how it would all work. I felt all of that and more. I had not anticipated the tenderness and the healing that night would bring to our marriage. I had not expected to spend most of our time together just talking as we held onto one another.
Brianna
All of the tension, hurt, and anxiety I had been feeling drained away with Garrett’s apology. Forgiving easily was not my usual way, but I had no desire to drag this out, keeping the bad feelings going between us. I wanted this marriage to work, and things had gone too far wrong for too long as it was. Besides, I could feel the anguish of his regret in his words and actions. It was a relief to give in and offer him forgiveness. This was the first time he had let me down, but hopefully it would not become a habit.
The words he whispered in my ear that night were a balm that had soothed away all of my pain and fear. I felt a connection with him that was unlike anything I had ever experienced before. I knew in that moment that all other relationships with family and friends would never matter as much as the one I shared with my husband. Everything seemed right with the world as long as he held onto me.
I could not begin to describe how blissful it was once everything started going the way it was supposed to. The next couple of weeks were nearly perfect. We became more comfortable with each other. I was shown time and again that I had married the right man, and I knew God had led me to him. Garrett never missed an opportunity to tell me how much he loved me and desired to be with me. Even though I knew he was only trying to compensate for the lack of affection from before, I never dissuaded him.
The two of us spent every available minute in each other’s company, making up for lost time. I had no complaints there. Our second favorite pastime was snuggling up on the lounge on the balcony planning every detail of our future together. For the moment, I decided to ignore the fact that things hardly ever turn out as planned. For the first time since my father died, life ahead seemed full of hope and joyfulness.
We had a huge celebration on the sixth day of July in honor of Garrett’s nineteenth year. The whole town celebrated with us. Everyone seemed to think fondly of their new king. A feast was spread out in the town square in his honor where I presented him with new armor, all embellished with the Aisling Dragon. He said it was the best gift he had ever received because it made him feel like he finally belonged. That night we watched the fireworks from our balcony while we created some of our own.
But this sort of bliss never seems to last. Sooner or later some ugly reality of life will sneak in, tainting everything. We had started our morning eating breakfast like any other day. The post had arrived and a servant placed a small stack of letters on the table. I flipped through to see if anything looked terribly important, but that was hardly ever the case.
“Oh, there is a letter here for you. It looks to be from your mother.”
I handed the letter to Garrett and continued eating, leaving the rest of the post unopened. I knew something was wrong when, after opening the letter, he stood and began pacing. I was concerned, but I did not ask him about it. I figured it was something personal between him and his mother. If he wanted to share, he would.
“Dunbar is dead.”
I gasped and covered my mouth in shock. Just because I had not wanted to marry Dunbar did not mean I had wanted to see him come to harm. “What happened?”
“They believe he was poisoned. This does not make sense. My father accused one of the servants of being the culprit and had her beheaded. I cannot imagine what could have motivated Ena to poison Dunbar. It just does not make any sense.”
“I remember Ena. She was a special friend of yours, was she not?” I realized after the words had left my mouth how insensitive it was for me to mention his friend when his own brother was dead.
“I did know her slightly more than the other servants, but I would not call her a special friend. It is just that she seemed so kind. I cannot imagine her doing something like this, or why she even would do it. And Dunbar . . .” He shook his head and pressed his fist to his lips as if he could not form the words needed to finish that sentence.
I went to him and wrapped him in a hug. “I am so sorry. I would not wish this on anyone. I know both of your parents must be devastated as well.”
“Mother says that in a way she wishes I was there and in another she is glad I am safely away. He died six days ago. They have probably buried him already. Even if I had left on that day, I still would not have been there in time. I should have been there for my family.”
“We will go now if that is what you feel you need to do.”
“No, it does not make sense to go now. Maybe we could have some type of memorial here for him. Then I will write and tell Mother about it. I think she would like that. I still cannot get over Ena being the guilty one. I never met her husband, but I do know she left behind a little girl. Gemma, I think that was her name. I know it is crazy that I stand here talking about a servant when my brother is dead. It just all seems so unreal.”
“I know what you mean. When my father died, I did not even shed a tear. Losing him was the worst thing that had ever happened to me, and I could not cry. Every time I tried to concentrate on what I should be feeling, my mind would move on to everything I would have to face without him. I feel guilty about that to this day.” There had been moments since then when I grieved over my father’s passing, but still there had never been any tears.
We had our memorial for Dunbar by releasing flying lanterns into the sky over the Moya Ocean the following night. Those lanterns had been a gift from one of the kingdoms in the neighboring country of Cordelia in honor of my coronation. We had not received them until months later, and they had been packed away since then. The lanterns’ usual purpose was for celebration, but Garrett seemed pleased as he said we were in fact celebrating Dunbar’s life rather than his death.
As I released my lantern, I said a prayer for his family and reflected on the time I had spent with him. I did not hate him. It was as simple as him not being the one I was meant to marry. I could not help but remark the beautiful weather on this day. Thinking back, I was sure Dunbar had only mentioned the weather so much because it was a safe subject, and we just did not have anything in common. Still, it had made me think of him which seemed only right.
After that, I would sometimes catch Garrett in times of silent reverie where he seemed to be oblivious to what was happening around him. No doubt, he was probably thinking of Dunbar at those times, but he never talked about him.
Castle life went on as usual. There were always kingdom affairs that needed our attention, but it somehow seemed easier with him by my side.
Reilly left for a visit to Dermot, opting to travel by sea for most of this trip. We rode out with him part of the way just to get away from the castle and so I could show Garrett more of our kingdom.
On the way back, we talked in depth about his desire to improve the roads throughout the country. Undoubtedly this idea stemmed from his desire to be able to get to his family more quickly if needed, but it was a good plan. Smoother roads would benefit everyone. We could start with the main roads and maybe get the other two kingdoms on board as well.
Owen announced that he and his wife were expecting the blessing of another child. He was so thrilled. How would it feel to be able to one day share that same news, that Garrett and I were having a child? I was beginning to long for such a day. I hoped we would not have to wait as long as Farris and Babree, or worse, go through the heartache my parents had faced. They had experienced several miscarriages before and after my birth. My mother had died after giving birth to a stillborn son.
Garrett and I spent as much time alone as we could spare. The only downfall that I could see was that I missed my friend. I wondered if Gwen missed me as well. Unlike me, she had other friends and occasionally, a special man in her life. I was surprised that she had not beaten me to the altar. She had been asked more than once in the past, but for reasons unknown to me that was usually when she would put an end to that particular relationship.
Another week went by and we received a message by pigeon carrier that Reagan had come through Fort Bevan and was on his way here. This was surprising news indeed, surprising and pleasing. The servants moved about in a frenzy to make an already clean castle shine. Everyone wanted their beloved king’s brother to be impressed.
I was glad to see Garrett in better spirits in anticipation of Reagan’s visit. This in no way replaced his grief over losing Dunbar. I knew it was possible to experience both joy and sadness together. If anything, it would make Dunbar’s passing seem more real to him by being able to share it with someone whose love was equal for that brother to his own.
On the expected day of his arrival, Garrett kept making excuses to be out in front of the castle. His excitement was contagious, but that excitement turned to concern when two more days passed with no sign of Reagan.
I tried to come up with ways to occupy his free time. I could not bear to see him pacing in worry. That is why the two of us plus Gwen were at the small dining table playing a game of Aggression when news came to us on the third night in a much unexpected way. It was Eamon who came, leaning over the table, talking in a low voice, saying that the three of us were needed in the infirmary. We went slowly and quietly, as instructed, to find Reagan in a shocking state unconscious on one of the beds.
Twenty
Garrett
FIRST DUNBAR DIES, and now Reagan has been injured. I should have known this would happen, not that something would happen to my brothers, but that my happiness would be disturbed. Things had been so wonderful between Brianna and me once we got past my own stupidity. It was bound to end.
A selfish thought. Even if true.
I followed Eamon into the infirmary, but the sight of Reagan lying there stopped me in my tracks. I heard Brianna gasp as she got a peek from between me and the doorframe. I almost did not recognize my own brother. He was filthy. Beneath the dirt, his slack face was red from being exposed to the sun. His clothes were torn and covered in dried blood with a red bloom of fresher blood seeping from his shoulder. He was not wearing any shoes, and his feet and hands were scraped and bloodied. More alarming than all of that was the lack of movement. I tried to study his chest for the telling up and down motion, but panic kept my gaze darting, seeking out every injury.
I had been feeling so much guilt over Dunbar’s death. Between Father separating his eldest from the rest of his brothers in order to train him to one day rule and him pushing me away, I had not gotten to know my oldest brother. I could never regret marrying Brianna, but a part of me kept thinking that if I had just stayed out of sight, she would have married him, and he would still be alive. I knew that was not true. She would have married Reagan instead.
Now there was an added guilt for the panic I felt over Reagan’s condition. Right or wrong, the love I held for the one laid out before me surpassed anything I had ever experienced for the rest of my family.
I swallowed my fear and knelt by the head of his bed. “Is he alive?”
Eamon nervously cleared his throat. “For the moment. Someone informed me that there was a badly injured Niocol Augustine at the front gate claiming relation to Gwen. I did not recognize the name but went to check it out anyway. Once he told me who he was, I had him brought here. He became unconscious during the move to this room. I do not know why he is using an alias, but it seemed prudent to go with that disguise for now.”
“Niocol is my mother’s maiden name and Augustine is Reagan’s middle name. He probably thought that if I heard of this, I might recognize the unusual combination.”
While this exchange was going on, Gwen had gone right to work, ignoring the rest of us. She found a pair of scissors from a nearby cabinet and started cutting Reagan’s shirt away and peeling it back to reveal the wound on his shoulder.
“He has been shot through with an arrow. I am going to need hot water.”
Eamon headed in the direction of the kitchen, and I helped Gwen get Reagan out of the rest of his clothing. I did not realize that Brianna had stepped out of the room until Eamon came back carrying the water himself, followed by Agata.
“Gwen, I knew you would need help, and I know Agata will be discreet.”
“Child, what can I do?”
“We will have to get him cleaned up before I can see to his wounds.”
Eamon gently placed his hand on my shoulder in consolation. “With all due respect, King Garrett, in order for this ploy to work, you and Brianna need to leave. Considering your friendship with Gwen, it is well enough for the two of you to come see about a relation of hers. But if someone were to look in right now, it would not take long for them to put it all together and realize that the king’s brother has finally arrived.”
I leaned over Reagan and pushed the hair back from his face.
“You heard Eamon, now scat. One of us will let you know how he is once we get him fixed up. Go on now.” Agata was probably the only one in all of Aisling who would dare order the king and queen around.
I found my wife standing just outside the door with her arms wrapped around herself. I pulled her into a hug and kissed her forehead, more for my own comfort than for hers. She did not say anything. She just gave me a tight squeeze which was exactly what I needed.
Eamon stopped just outside the door to say that Einri would have to be informed since he was Gwen’s father and would want to know who had shown up claiming to be her relation. No one else was to be told anything to dispute the rumor that must already be circulating throughout the castle.
At Brianna’s urging, I reluctantly followed her up to our chambers. She read a book while I spent the time pacing the floor. I suspected she was only staying up to keep me company. It was late when Gwen came in to give us a report on Reagan.
“The worst of it is the wound on his shoulder. He is fortunate that the arrow went all the way through and without hitting any vital organs along the way. Whoever shot him was at very close range. Whoever the coward was, he shot Prince Reagan from behind.” I could hear the anger in her voice.
My own anger would eventually exceed hers, but right now my only concern was for my brother’s wellbeing. My last image of him, as still as death, was stuck in my head. I needed some indication that he was going to make it. “Did he ever regain consciousness? Has he spoken?”
“No, and I have medicated him enough so that he should be out until morning. His shoulder wound is swollen with infection, and he is burning with fever. Agata is with him now, but I plan to stay with him all night. She can relieve me in the morning. I promise, you will be summoned as soon as he is awakened.”
; “Gwen, I trust you, and I mean you no disrespect, but is there a healer with more experience in this kingdom that could be sent for? I hope you understand that I just do not want to take the chance of losing him.”
“I take no offence. I know you want what is best for your brother. There is only one to my knowledge that has more experience with this type of wound than myself, and that is Healer Kerwin. I do not want to alarm you, but in the time it would take for him to get here, Reagan will either be dead or on his way to a full recovery.”
I felt Brianna’s hand on my arm. The look of concern in her hazel eyes gave me comfort. “We will send for him anyway.” She took out a piece of parchment from the desk and started writing.
“Gwen, I want you to know that I appreciate everything you have done for my brother.”
“I know you do. I do not blame you for sending for Kerwin. I would probably do the same in your place.”
Brianna handed the parchment to Gwen. “Give this to one of the servants when you go back downstairs, and have them send out a pigeon immediately.”
She reached and gave her friend a hug. “Thank you for everything.”
My wife finally talked me into going to bed once we were alone again, but with my tossing and turning, neither of us got a good night’s sleep. Brianna had an upset stomach the next morning and sent for some peppermint tea. I encouraged her to stay and get some rest. I went straight to Reagan’s room to check on him. Gwen was still with him. Reagan was still unconscious and burning with fever.
It was after dinner when Agata came to get us. Every time I had checked on him before, he had been sleeping. Eamon’s warning played through my head each time, but I just could not stay away. Reagan opened his eyes when we came into the room. He looked weak and his voice was raspy when he spoke. “Garrett, you do not know how happy I am to see you. I did not think I ever would again.”
I sat down on the edge of his bed and took his hand in mine. He still felt warm to me but not like before. “Reagan, do you know who did this to you?”