Ma had been knitting. When the door opened, she jumped up and stuffed her knitting into an empty flour sack. “The postman had to deliver something that did not fit in the box,” she explained, coming into the kitchen.
“A package?” Esther asked. She and Violet had just been wondering if Julia and Kate would send presents. They couldn’t come for Christmas because the weather was too uncertain. They might get caught in a snowstorm. It was the first Christmas the family would not be all together and Esther could hardly even imagine it. She thought presents might help ease her sadness, though.
But Ma shook her head. “Catalogs.”
“The new Sears Roebuck catalog?” Violet asked eagerly.
“No, no. Just seed and fertilizer catalogs for Pa,” Ma said.
Violet and Esther exchanged looks of disappointment. Meanwhile, Walter took a crumpled paper star from his pocket and tried to smooth it. “Look, Ma,” he said. “The Christmas star. It goes on top of the tree. But where is our tree?”
Ma shook her head. “I know nothing about trees. Esther, go into the cellar and get me three potatoes.”
“Yes, Ma.” Esther tucked her letter into her spelling book. Then she opened the cellar door and climbed down the short ladder. Brrrr! It was cold. Dark, too, except for the light that spilled down from the kitchen. It took Esther’s eyes a few moments to adjust and see into the shadowy corners. Ah, there was the potato bin. It was not nearly as full as it had been in October, though.
Esther looked at the bushel baskets of vegetables lined up along the dirt walls. Some were almost empty. None were more than half full. Her eyes skipped to the shelves on the walls. Jars of fruits and vegetables had once crowded those shelves. Now there were many empty spaces. But many months of winter were yet to come. Would there be enough food? Esther felt a chill that had nothing to do with the temperature. Quickly, she chose three potatoes and left the cellar.
“Here, Ma,” she said, setting the potatoes in the sink. Then she closed the cellar door and hurried up to her room to read Julia’s letter. But it didn’t cheer her as she had hoped. Julia’s hours at the telephone company had been cut, so she’d be earning less money. Kate had been sick with influenza but was better now.
We all wish there was some way we could be together for the holiday, Julia’s letter concluded. It won’t seem like Christmas without you and the rest of the family.
Esther sighed. It would have been so wonderful to see her sisters again—and to finally meet her little nephew. She pulled her thin sweater tighter and shivered. Even though Pa had cut holes in the floor to let more heat up from the parlor, it was so cold, she could see her breath in the air. She set the letter on Margaret’s lap and went downstairs where it was warmer.
On the last day of school before Christmas, Miss Larson and Mrs. Davies gave every one of their students a gingerbread man cookie with raisin eyes. Esther tucked hers safely in her lunch pail so it wouldn’t get broken. But Walter was barely settled in the sleigh before he bit off the head of his cookie. Esther tried not to listen to his contented crunching. Violet ate her gingerbread man slowly, rolling her eyes heavenward after each tiny bite. Esther had to look away. She concentrated instead on Pa’s breaths floating toward her on the icy air in cloud-like puffs. She would not give in to temptation. She would not. She had something very special in mind for her treat.
When they arrived home, Esther sprang from the sleigh as soon as it stopped, and raced ahead of Violet and Walter. She found Ma at the kitchen table, cutting carrots into tiny pieces for stew. When she saw Esther, Ma smiled, but she asked, “Where are your brother and sister?”
“They’re coming,” Esther answered, wishing that Ma could be happy to see Esther without wanting Walter and Violet. Wasn’t Esther alone special enough? Already Ma’s eyes had gone back to the straggly carrot she was chopping. But Esther was about to change that.
She walked quickly to the table. “Here, Ma,” she said, thrusting her cookie between Ma and the carrot. “Mrs. Davies gave this to me, but I want you to have it.”
Ma’s eyebrows went up. She smiled kindly at Esther, but she shook her head. “That is your treat, Esther. You must keep it.”
“I want you to have it,” Esther insisted. “It’s my Christmas gift to you.”
Ma looked at Esther for a long moment. Finally she nodded. “Thank you, Esther. You are a good-hearted girl.” She tucked the cookie in her apron pocket. “The whole family will enjoy this treat on Christmas.”
Esther was warmed by Ma’s praise. She was less happy about Ma’s plan to share the treat Esther had given her—Esther’s treat—with Walter and Violet, who were at that very moment enjoying theirs. Still, she managed to smile at Ma.
The next day was Christmas Eve, but chores had to be done as usual. After breakfast, Ma even assigned a few extra. She sent Violet and Walter to carry wood to the porch. And she told Esther to clean the kerosene lanterns. Much as Esther disliked the tedious task, that day she made it fun. She pretended she was a good fairy turning ordinary glass into shining diamonds.
After lunch, Pa disappeared. A little while later there was a thumping on the side porch and the parlor door banged open. The top of a fir tree plunged into the room.
“A Christmas tree!” Walter shrieked, leaping up from the floor where he’d been playing.
“Oh, Pa, it’s beautiful!” Esther said.
“I knew Pa wouldn’t let us have Christmas without a tree,” Violet declared, clapping her hands.
Pa smiled at their excitement. “Now where is that star, Walter?” he asked, carrying the tree all the way inside and shutting the door with his foot to keep the cold out.
Walter ran for the star. Ma brought out the box of red and silver balls. Soon everyone was crowded around the tree, hanging the pretty ornaments on its branches. When the last ball was hung, Pa lifted Walter so he could perch the star on top.
“Now it feels like Christmas!” Esther said. Of course, there were no presents to put beneath the pretty fir. There were no cookies cooling in the kitchen. There was no turkey for the dinner, and no family was expected. Still, the tree was a reminder that it really was Christmas, even if it was a much poorer one than usual.
Ma suddenly noticed the time. “Nu!” she said. “It is getting late. We must hurry with our baths.”
Esther ran for the tub. Special evening services were being held at church and it wouldn’t do to be late. But Ma need not have worried. They arrived in plenty of time.
“Oh, look!” Esther whispered when they walked in the front door. “Candles!” They were everywhere, flickering in windows and all around the pulpit. They cast an almost magical glow over the church.
When Reverend Phillips read the Christmas story, Esther felt a thrill she’d never felt before. Up until then, when she thought of Jesus, she thought of him as a man in a white robe, working miracles. That night, for the first time, she thought of him as a real baby—like Henry Christian. She imagined him crying and being comforted by Mary. And she pictured Jesus as a little boy, following Joseph around just like Walter followed Pa. That Christmas Eve, in that little country church, Jesus became real to Esther.
“Merry Christmas!” everyone called to one another afterward. “Merry Christmas!” The joy-filled greeting seemed to float and echo on the crisp night air, following them all the way home.
When they got to the farm, Pa carried a sleepy Walter upstairs. Ma gave the girls each a towel-wrapped brick that had been warming in the oven. Then she shooed them up to bed, too. It was late. Esther undressed and got under the covers, stretched cold toes toward the brick’s heat, and drifted off to sleep.
• • •
“Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!” It was Pa’s voice.
Esther and Violet sat up, blinking sleepily at each other. Then Walter shot out of his room. Esther jumped up and Violet pounded down the stairs after them both. Halfway down, Esth
er smelled something she hadn’t smelled in a long time. Bacon! Her mouth watered.
“Presents!” she heard Walter yell. “Santa came! Santa came!”
Esther flew down the last stairs to the parlor. She sucked in a breath. Walter was right! Last night the floor beneath the tree had been bare. Now several gaily wrapped packages were there. Esther’s heart thudded with anticipation. “Can we open them?” she asked.
“Open, open!” Pa said, waving his hands and smiling. Ma came out of the kitchen to watch as Esther and Violet and Walter knelt by the tree.
“To Esther from Julia,” Esther read one tag. She tore open the paper. A book! On the shiny jacket was a picture of a pretty young woman dressed in blue and carrying a clock under her arm. “The Secret of the Old Clock!” Esther told Violet. “It’s a mystery book, like the Hardy Boys book Shirley lent me.” Inside the cover Julia had written, This Nancy Drew series is brand-new and supposed to be very good. Merry Christmas! Love, Julia.
Violet was too excited about her sketch pad and drawing pencils to do more than nod at Esther. Walter was roaring a red truck across the floor. But there were two more presents for Esther to open. Two pretty pink barrettes were from Kate and Howard. And a red, hand-knitted sweater was from Ma and Pa.
“It’s beautiful! Thank you, Ma. Thank you, Pa.” Esther put down her barrettes and book long enough to slip her arms into the sleeves of the sweater. “Ooooh,” she said. “It’s nice and warm!”
Esther took a moment to admire the truck Julia had sent to Walter, the tiny train set he’d gotten from Kate and Howard, and the wood farm animals that Santa had brought him. He and Violet had both gotten new sweaters, too. Walter’s was brown and Violet’s was green. And, just like Esther, Violet had pretty new barrettes. Only hers were sky blue.
“Breakfast,” Ma announced, and everyone hurried to the table for potato pancakes with raspberry jam and two strips of bacon each. Esther couldn’t remember the last time she’d had such a breakfast! She ate and ate until her stomach was too full for even one more bite.
After breakfast there were chores to do. The animals had to be fed and the cows had to be milked even on Christmas. But afterward Pa played old maid and rummy and go fish with Esther and Violet and Walter, so the morning flew by. A bowl of soup for lunch was just right. Everyone was still full from breakfast, and good smells were already wafting from the stove, promising even better things for supper.
The afternoon was quieter. Pa played checkers with Walter, whistling softly all the while. Violet tried out her sketch pad and pencils. Esther curled up with her mystery story. First, she looked at the exciting black-and-white picture at the front of the book. Then she turned to chapter 1, promising herself to read very slowly so the story would not end too soon.
Dinner was simple compared with past Christmas dinners, but it was a feast to them. Roast chicken with onion stuffing, carrots, potatoes, and biscuits. They ate every morsel. Ma didn’t have enough flour to bake a pie or a cake for dessert, but she brought out a special gift from Kate and Howard and little Henry. A small box of chocolate-covered cherries! Esther bit a tiny hole in the side of hers and sucked out the cream filling first. Then she sucked on the chocolate. Last of all she ate the cherry.
“Wonderful, Anna.” Pa patted his stomach. “A delicious dinner.”
Esther and the others nodded. “Delicious, Ma.”
Ma’s cheeks turned pink. She jumped up to clear the table.
That night they played rummy again, and this time Ma played with them. She won even more often than Pa! Finally Pa put away the cards to sing Christmas carols in German. “O Tannenbaum” was Esther’s favorite. She sang along on the words she knew and hummed on the ones she didn’t.
Midway through the singing, Ma went to the kitchen. When she returned, she was carrying the gingerbread man Esther had given her. Esther had forgotten all about it! Ma gave the cookie to Pa and he broke off an arm for Walter and the other one for Violet. Then he broke off a leg for himself and for Ma. Seeing the looks of delight on her brother’s and sister’s faces made Esther glad that Ma was sharing her treat. Finally, Pa handed the biggest piece of all—the head and body—to Esther. “For the little girl who remembered that Christmas is about sharing with the ones you love,” he said.
Ma nodded her agreement, and the pride on her and Pa’s faces was like one last and very special gift of the day.
Esther curled up on one end of the sofa to eat her cookie and listen to Pa sing Christmas carols in German. The gingerbread was as sweet to Esther’s tongue as Pa’s voice was to her ears. She sighed contentedly and wished Christmas Day never had to end.
13 Two Kinds of Luck
ESTHER WASHED HER FACE AND REACHED for the towel. An instant before she put it to her face, she saw the spider that was crawling on it. She let out a startled squeal, threw down the towel, and stomped on the spider, squashing it under her shoe.
Ma, hearing her squeal, turned around just in time to see the spider meet its death. Her face went red. “Why did you do that?” she demanded. “To see a spider before breakfast is good luck! This family could use some good luck for a change.”
Esther cringed. Ma was so angry. “I’m sorry, Ma. I was so scared, I didn’t think.”
“You must start to think!” Ma said. Then she shook her head and turned away.
Esther bit her lip. She couldn’t seem to do anything right lately. Not that Walter or Violet were faring much better. It took little to trigger Ma’s temper these days—a lamp left burning, a door closed too slowly, a crumb of food dropped.
The New Year had begun badly and gotten steadily worse. Bitterly cold weather forced them to burn more wood than ever. And the animals ate more food to keep warm. With the woodpile dwindling, the animals’ feed going fast, and their own supplies nearly gone, Pa had tried desperately to find work. But no one in any of the nearby towns was hiring. Each time he returned home, his steps were heavier, his back was more bowed.
Pa came in from the barn as Esther was hanging a fresh towel at the sink. He thumped a crock of milk onto the table. “There’s not enough to sell,” he told Ma. “Let the children drink.”
So Esther had milk for the first time in weeks. She’d never realized before how good it tasted. Walter must have thought so, too. He drank down his glass in noisy gulps.
“Walter!” Ma scolded.
He ducked his head but flashed a milk-framed grin at Esther when Ma left the table.
Pa drove them to school in the sleigh that day as usual. But his face was solemn when he waved good-bye. Esther’s heart ached to see him so sad and silent. She hadn’t heard him whistle since Christmas. She hadn’t seen him smile in days. She wished there was something she could do to make him happy again. But she couldn’t think what that might be. She trudged up the snowy path to the schoolhouse.
“Esther!”
Esther looked up to see Bethany waving from the schoolhouse steps. “Hurry! The cast list is posted!” Bethany yelled.
Esther needed no further prompting. At last they’d find out their parts in the play. She raced past Violet and Walter. “Have you looked yet?” she asked Bethany breathlessly.
Bethany shook her head. “I wanted to wait for you.”
“Well, here I am,” Esther said with a nervous laugh, remembering the lucky spider she had killed. “Let’s go see.”
Holding hands, they hurried inside. There was a cluster of students at the back of their classroom. Bethany and Esther wriggled and nudged their way through them. Esther held her breath and squeezed Bethany’s hand tight as she squinted up at the list on the wall. But Bethany saw Esther’s name before she did.
“You’re one of the princesses, Esther!” she said. “You’re one of the princesses!”
Esther’s heart gave a leap. “Really? Really?” She pushed a little closer so she could see where Bethany was pointing. Sure enough, it said Yo
ungest princess: Esther Vogel. Esther felt her mouth stretching into a grin. Then she remembered Bethany. “What part did you get?”
Bethany shrugged. “I’m a kitchen maid. But I didn’t expect a big part. I can’t memorize things the way you can, and the fifth-graders always get the small roles. Except for you,” she said, shaking her head in admiration. “You’re the only fifth-grader to get a starring role.”
Esther’s cheeks warmed. She was pleased but a little embarrassed, too. When she was jostled from behind, she used it as an excuse to change the subject. “Let’s get out of here before we’re trampled.” They walked back out to the hallway to hang up their coats. “Did you finish knitting your sweater yet?” she asked.
For answer Bethany slipped off her coat and revealed a rose-colored cardigan.
“Oh, Bethany!” Esther gasped. “It’s beautiful. I don’t know how you had the patience to do it. I’m all thumbs whenever I try to knit. I couldn’t even finish the little scarf I started for Margaret.”
It was Bethany’s turn to blush. “Mama helped me a little,” she confided. “Especially setting the sleeves.”
“Ten mothers could help me. I still couldn’t begin to make something so fine,” Esther said. Giggling, they went back to the classroom.
When Pa picked them up after school, Esther was quick to tell him about her part in the play. He nodded. “Good. Good.” But otherwise he was silent. It was a cold day. Esther gave up talking and burrowed into the straw Pa had piled in the sleigh. It was a little prickly, but it kept the worst of the cold and wind out.
At home, Esther and Violet set their books on the kitchen table. Pa walked past them to the parlor. When he came back, he had the radio in his arms. All these months it had sat silently but proudly on the little table in the parlor. It had comforted Esther to see it sitting there like a promise of better things to come. But now Pa was taking it away.
“Where are you taking the radio, Pa?” she asked quickly.
“To sell it,” Pa replied. “There is a shop in Middleton that will pay a good price.”
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