Table of Contents
Title Page
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Whoever said that things need to get worse before they could get better probably had no idea just how bad worse really is.
While mostly physically healed from a gay bashing that almost left him dead, Taylor is still an emotional mess. Not only does he have to deal with the fact that his own brother was one of the attackers, but Taylor has been disowned by his father as well. The only bright spot in Taylor’s life is his small group of friends, but even they have their own issues. Christian is now angry all the time. James has to deal with his own homophobic father. Devlin is wondering if he’ll ever be able to measure up to others’ expectations. Worst of all, Andy seems to be walking down a path that will only lead to his destruction. Can the Haven House Coffee Boys overcome all their obstacles? Or will the darkness overcome them?
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Left In The Darkness
Copyright © 2012 Stephani Hecht
ISBN: 978-1-77111-221-5
Cover art by Martine Jardin
All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, is forbidden without the written permission of the publisher.
Published by Devine Destinies
An imprint of eXtasy Books
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www.devinedestinies.com
Left In The Darkness
Haven Coffee House Boys
By
Stephani Hecht
Chapter One
Taylor pressed his head to the cool window as he gazed down at the hospital parking lot. He still couldn’t believe that just a week ago the area had been filled with people instead of cars. Not just any people, either, but his own classmates who were holding a vigil for him.
He didn’t know if he wanted to laugh or cry over the sheer irony of that. Who knew that to be popular, all he had to do was get beaten nearly to death? How stupid of him not to think of that before. But, then, in his defense, they’d never offered that tidbit of advice in Seventeen Magazine. He could almost see the headline now, Want to be popular? All you have to do is be on the wrong end of a gay bashing.
Shoot, even the adults were going crazy over this. If it wasn’t the media hounding him, then it was the police. Of course, he couldn’t forget the time his uncle came in for a visit. Not to check up on Taylor or anything, but to tell him that his father thought that maybe it wouldn’t be a good idea if he came home for a while.
Sure, his uncle might have tried to act like it was only because one of Taylor’s attackers had been his own brother. They all knew the real truth. His father had finally found a way to get rid of his gay son. Taylor was surprised the jerk hadn’t done a happy dance on his way out.
He heard a rustling behind him, alerting Taylor that he wasn’t alone. Half expecting it to be yet another police officer, he let out a resigned sigh as he turned. When he saw Devlin standing there, Taylor smiled. “Hey.”
Devlin gave off that sexy-half smile of his as he walked over. As usual, Devlin looked flawless, his brown hair styled perfectly and the deep blue shirt he wore setting off his auburn eyes in just the right way.
It made Taylor aware of how much of a mess he must look. Not only was he wearing a hospital gown, but they had shaved away part of his brown hair, so they could stitch up one of his many wounds. He brought a hand up in a desperate attempt to fix it, but Devlin reached out and stopped him.
“Don’t. You’re perfect,” Devlin said.
“That’s easy for you to say. You don’t look like a character from The Nightmare Before Christmas.”
A jolt of pain shot through Taylor’s injured wrist, reminding him that his body was still healing, and he really should be in bed. Even though he tried to hold it in, a whimper slipped past his lips.
Devlin’s eyes widened in concern as he reached out to grab Taylor’s elbow. “Here, let me help you.”
When Taylor began to pull away, Devlin rolled his eyes. “Come on. We know that I’m usually a dick. So, take this moment of kindness and just run with it.”
Taylor let out a soft laugh, because anything harder would have hurt his ribs. “Fine, but just so you know, I’m putting this in my diary of never-to-forget moments.”
“Sad thing is, I know you’re not kidding, and you really do keep one of those.”
Showing a tenderness that Taylor hadn’t thought possible, Devlin eased him onto the bed and then pulled the covers up.
“Do you want me to call a nurse and see if she has anything for your pain?” Devlin asked.
Taylor shook his head. “That junk makes me feel sick to my stomach.”
Actually, it was more than that. It made him feel like his mother. There almost wasn’t a time where Taylor couldn’t remember her either going through one of her spells or being high as a kite. The last thing he ever wanted was to be weak like her.
“Okay,” Devlin replied, letting the subject drop easily.
Not that it surprised Taylor. Most of their friends thought Devlin was the most shallow and self-centered of them all. Taylor knew differently. He’d never met a person deeper than Devlin. Worse, Devlin felt empathy toward all of them, which in a sense made him weak, too. So it wasn’t a shock that Devlin chose to hide that fault under layers of sarcasm and snottiness.
Taylor decided to change the subject to something more interesting. “I heard about you and Christian.”
The smile that crossed Devlin’s face was too genuine to be faked. “Word travels fast.”
“Do you really like him?”
The open way Devlin reacted told Taylor that, but he still wanted to hear the words. Christian might have only just recently moved to their town, but Taylor and he were already close friends. He didn’t want to the see the shy, sweet kid get his heart broken.
Devlin raised his gaze. For once he let the real him show. Gone were all the signs of snarkyness. “Yeah, I do. A lot.”
“You’ve liked him all along, haven’t you?”
“We both know you already know the answer to that one,” Devlin replied as he fiddled with the edge of the blanket.
“Then why didn’t you say anything sooner?”
When Devlin just shrugged, Taylor gasped in understanding. “It was because of James. Wasn’t it?”
“I didn’t want to step in between them. I know we’re all pissed at him right now, but James is still my cousin, and I didn’t want to be that much of an asshole to him. Besides, you saw the way Christian used to look at him. It was like James was Bieber and Christian was every American teen girl. There were a few times where I actually had to wipe the drool off Christian’s chin.”
Neither of them mentioned why Christian no longer wanted James. It was the same reason why they were all pissed at James, and, to a certain extent, why
Taylor found his ass planted in an uncomfortable hospital bed.
Even as he sat there, he could still hear Christian’s screams from that night, James! Come back! They’re killing him!
But James hadn’t come back. Instead, he’d chosen to stay hidden in his closet, even though that meant running away when his friends had needed him the most. Every time Taylor closed his eyes, he could still see the faces of the jocks as they circled him and Christian, hear the hurtful threats thrown their way, felt the panic and fear that came with the realization that there was no escape.
Most of all, though, Taylor felt the betrayal. Not so much from his brother, because he long ago had come to the realization that his family never would accept him. No, it was that James had found it more important to keep in his big secret than to save two of his friends.
For all James had known, the jocks could have killed Taylor and Christian. Shoot, they almost had succeeded as far as Taylor was concerned. The only reason Christian made it out okay was because he knew how to fight back. Even then, he still got hurt, and it would have been worse had their friends not shown up to help.
Devlin carefully lay down next to Taylor and put an arm around his shoulder. The gesture felt so familiar. There had been many times where Taylor had run to Devlin after a beating or another one of his mom’s episodes. Each time, Devlin had been there, too, and always offering comfort and a shoulder to lean on.
“I know I should hate him,” Taylor said in a near whisper.
“I know I should, too,” Devlin replied.
“Sometimes, I think I was the luckier one in this whole incident.”
Devlin shot off an are-you-crazy look. “In case you missed it, you’re the one who ended up in the hospital.”
“Yeah, but at least I still have you guys. James is facing all this alone.”
“Even more so since he made a big deal of coming out,” Devlin replied.
“Yeah, I heard about that.”
“He could have picked a better time than when they were holding that vigil for you.”
Taylor snorted. “Please, they may have said it was for me, but we know better. It was only so they could feel a little less guilty about the poor gay boy who almost died. If they had really been supportive, then they wouldn’t have treated me like shit all those years. Until you guys and Christian transferred, school used to be hell for me. On a good day, I only got hit once, and all my money taken. I don’t even want to talk about what happened on the bad days. Do you know I still can’t walk into the bathrooms because of all the stuff that went down in there? I hold it in until I get home. How pathetic is that? A guy who is too terrified to take a piss because he’s afraid of being picked on.”
Angry, frustrated, and sad, Taylor wanted to lash out. Call him Sally Field, but he wanted to hit somebody…he wanted to hit them until they hurt as much as he did. And damn it, there was no Ousier around for him to smack around.
“It’s okay, the bathrooms are way overrated anyway. They smell like smoke, and the hand soap sucks,” Devlin said as he rested his cheek on the top of Taylor’s head. “And you’re not alone anymore. If you have to take a piss, just find me, and I’ll watch your back. I won’t ever turn on you.”
There was a slight catch in Devlin’s breath during that last sentence, and it made Taylor wonder how hard this was hitting his friend. James was his cousin, and whether Devlin wanted to admit it or not, there had to be all kinds of emotions tied to that.
“Have you talked to him?” Taylor asked.
“No, he left me a few voice mails, but I haven’t felt like returning them yet. It’s not just because of Christian, either.” Devlin tightened his grip. “You mean a lot to me, and all I can think about is how close I came to losing you. All that might have been stopped if he’d just stepped forward and stood up for you and Christian.”
“Maybe, or else it could have been him that ended up here instead of me,” Taylor reasoned.
“Right now, I’m wishing that’s the way things really were.”
There was a long pause after Devlin dropped that little bombshell. Not that Taylor thought less of him for saying that. Devlin said a lot of crap when angry that Taylor knew he really didn’t mean.
“I wish that it was my brother here instead of me. Does that make me a bad person?” Taylor asked, finally admitting his greatest sin.
“No, it makes you human. After all the pain he’s caused you, it’s only natural that you would want to give some back.”
There was another pause before Taylor said, “My dad bailed him out of jail and took him home, but yet neither one of them have even bothered to call or visit me.”
Not that Taylor expected his brother to show, but it would have been nice if their dad had actually acted like he cared for once.
Devlin pressed a chaste kiss to the top of Taylor’s head. “I wish I could say something to make you feel better, but we both that it’d just be words. You have a sucky dad and an even suckier brother. But that doesn’t mean you’re alone. You have us.”
“Yeah, and Christian’s mom has all but adopted me,” Taylor said with a smile.
If there had been any bright spot in all the mess, it’d been getting to know Christian’s family. Not only had they told Taylor that he was now part of their family, but Christian’s mom had practically camped out at the hospital.
“I’m surprised she’s not here now,” Devlin remarked.
“She insisted on going out to buy me some new clothes. I guess when she tried to go to my house to pick my stuff up, it’d been trashed.”
Taylor didn’t add that his brother had pissed on everything. As if it weren’t bad enough that he’d kicked Taylor’s ass, he still had to add one final screw off. Even though Taylor should have been used to that kind of treatment, it still didn’t make it hurt any less.
“Do you want me to kick his ass for you?” Devlin offered.
Even though they shared a chuckle, Taylor knew the offer was serious. Like Christian, Devlin knew how to defend himself. Taylor had seen Devlin in action, and he had some mad skills. Even though Taylor’s brother may be bigger, Devlin wouldn’t have any problems taking him out.
The offer sounded so tempting, but Taylor knew he couldn’t take it. “No, I don’t want you to get in any trouble. I just want to forget this whole thing and get on with my life.”
Even as Taylor said those words, he knew that it would never happen. Like it or not, that night had left scars, both inside and out. The last little bit of innocence left in Taylor had been shattered, and there was no putting it back together again.
As stupid as it might seem, Taylor always hoped that one day his family would accept him. Now that he knew that would never happen, a hallow ache was left where his heart used to be.
“It’s going to be okay,” Devlin soothed.
“No, it’s not, and we both know it.”
Taylor waited for Devlin to deny it, but in the end his friend said, “You’re right, it’s not. But we can try to put some of the pieces back together.”
“Wow, that almost sounded poetic. If I didn’t know better, I’d actually think you gave a damn,” Taylor shot back.
When Devlin only grunted in reply, Taylor let out a soft chuckle. “Don’t worry. I promise not to tell anybody that you’re a big softy.”
He waited for Devlin to deny it, but in the end, his friend admitted, “Just for you, Christian, and Andy.”
There was a beat before Devlin added, “And James.”
“Yeah, I still care about him, too.”
Taylor more than cared, he was worried about James. There had been a good reason why James cowered in the closet. Now that he was out, he would have to face hate not only at school, but home as well. While James might look the part of the big, tough jock, on the inside, he was the most vulnerable of all of them. He would be facing all the crap alone, too. That was unless Taylor and the others could forgive him. But how does one forgive somebody who literally turned their back when he was
needed the most?
Chapter Two
As he walked out of the hospital, Devlin flipped up the collar of his jacket in an attempt to stay dry. A soft rain fell, but one look at the dark, rolling clouds told him that it would soon turn into a downpour. Normally, he wouldn’t care about getting wet, but with as far away as he had been forced to park, he’d be drenched by the time he reached his car.
“How is he?” a voice called from behind him.
Heart racing, Devlin turned. He even got into a low karate pose. Not that he could really do anything special in the martial arts area. All his skills were in boxing and street fighting. He’d only had one karate class, and that had been when he’d been five. Even then, he’d only made it halfway through the class before they kicked him out for hitting the instructor.
Okay, maybe he’d also yelled, This is what I think of your wax on, wax off! But, in his defense, the studio did have a poster of the Karate Kid on display, so they’d been asking for it.
When Devlin saw James standing there, Devlin let out a sigh of irritation. “What the hell? Have you taken up stalking as a new hobby or something?”
James took a step forward. He must have been hanging around for a while because his raven hair was plastered around his pale, pinched face.
It pained Devlin to see his cousin that way. Just a few days ago, James had been so happy…or at least, he hadn’t looked like the world just stomped on him.
Then Devlin recalled how Taylor looked, and all his sympathy for his cousin flew away. Devlin even found himself a bit glad that James felt like crap. After all the time James let Taylor down, it would do the jerk some good to know how the other half lived.
“Is Taylor okay?” James repeated.
“He’s just ducky,” Devlin sneered. “Now why don’t you crawl back into your closet? If there’s any news I’ll make sure to send you a text.”
Devlin knew his comments were harsh, but every time he tried to pull back, he flashed back to that night and saw Christian and Taylor being attacked. While Devlin knew it probably wasn’t fair, a large part of him felt that James could have done something to prevent the bashing from ever happening.
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