Within fifteen minutes, I’m laughing and the dream is starting to fade away. I get up and make myself a cup of coffee before returning to the couch. I spend the next hour talking with some author friends, making a few posts, and laughing with my street team. It’s amazing that these women can always make me smile no matter how miserable I feel when I sign on. After I finish two cups of coffee, I log out and go take a much-needed shower.
After I get out and dress in a pair of jeans, pink tank, and my flip-flops, I do my hair and makeup. Once I’m ready for the day, I call Shannon to see where she is.
“How did I know you would be calling me soon?”
I laugh and sit down at my computer, pulling up what I wrote last night. “I guess because you know me better than I know myself sometimes. Where are you?” I laugh when I hear her cursing at the car in front of her for going too slow.
“Damn, some people just don’t know how to drive. I swear, you better be ready to get your drink on tonight because I need it after driving with these assholes.” We both laugh. “Anyway, I left early, so I’m about three hours from you.” We continue to talk for a bit about where we’re going to go tonight and finally decide on Ecstasy. They have awesome drinks, great music, and a dance floor. Should be an interesting night.
After we hang up, I run to the grocery store to pick up a few things. I walk around with my cart, not paying much attention to anything but what’s on sale, and I end up hitting someone else’s cart. “Holy shit, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t paying any attention.” Now if I were a lucky person, this would have been just a random individual, someone I’ve never seen before. I, however, am not that lucky person. The cart I hit belongs to Jax Burke—you’ve got to be kidding me. He turns around, and as soon as he sees me, he gets a huge smile on his face.
“London, how are you?”
He’s so damn sweet. With those intense eyes, sexy tattooed arms, and that half-grin, Kallie is one lucky chick. “Hi, Jax, I’m good. How are you?”
He puts his foot on the bottom of my cart and shrugs his shoulders. “I’m all right, but Kallie has strep throat, so when she’s miserable, so am I. I took today off and I’m going to try to make homemade chicken soup for her.”
Come on, how is this guy for real? Not only is he one of the sexiest men I’ve ever laid eyes on, but he’s so incredibly sweet. I swear he’s like a character I would write, that’s how perfect he is. No one in real life is like that, yet here he is in front of me with a cart full of chicken and vegetables for his soup.
“Oh, I’m so sorry she isn’t feeling well. I’m sure your soup will help.” He laughs, and even though I just want to get away because I’m terrified he’s going to mention Blake, I end up laughing with him. “What’s so funny?”
“I’ve never made soup before, so I’m not sure it will help her. I printed a recipe offline, so I guess we’ll see. What’s been going on with you?”
I look up at the ceiling as if I’m thinking, but really I’m telling myself to relax. “Nothing much. Between work and writing, there isn’t much more. My best friend is driving in today, so I’m excited to see her. It’s been too long.” Holy hell, like he cares if my friend is coming in. Just say goodbye and walk away.
“That’s awesome. Where does she live?”
Crap. “In Arizona. I’m so sorry to cut this short, but I need to get the rest of my things and get home before she gets there. It was great seeing you. Please tell Kallie I hope she feels better.”
He gives me that grin and pulls me in for a hug. Damn, he even smells good. “I’ll tell her. It was great seeing you too.” He walks away and my heart finally settles down, but of course, he stops and turns around. “Oh, hey, London.” I look up at him and he gives me a smile. “Next Saturday I’m having a party. You should stop by. Kallie would love to see you.”
Is he crazy? No way am I going to that party. Blake will be there for sure. “Oh, thanks for the invite, but Shannon will still be here.”
He grins and gives me a wink. “Great, bring her too. I’ll have Kallie text you the address.”
He has got to be kidding. No way, not going to happen.
“Oh, and London…bring a bathing suit.”
That’s it―he walks out of the aisle, not even giving me a chance to decline again. Well, I hope he doesn’t hold his breath, because that’s never going to happen.
I quickly grab the rest of the stuff I need, luckily not running into Jax again, and check out. I pack it all in my white Chevy Malibu and head home. I hate, and I mean hate, carrying in shopping bags. I try to get as many on my arms as possible to limit it to one trip into the house, but sometimes it’s not possible. I finally get it all inside and put away, and I could freaking fall to the ground. What a chore, but I’m glad it’s done.
I make myself a sandwich and go into my office to read over what I wrote last night. I never got to do it earlier. I get so into the story that it takes me a minute to realize my doorbell is ringing. I jump up and rush over because I know it will be Shannon. I open the door and she’s leaning against the doorway with her sunglasses pushed up into her red hair. She holds a small bag and her suitcase is by her feet. “Well, finally. Damn. What the hell were you doing, giving the batteries in your vibrator a workout?”
I roll my eyes and pull her in for a hug. “No, you ass, I was reading through my work.”
She pulls her suitcase in and looks around. “Sure you were. Anyway, I’m here.” We both laugh and she pulls me in for another hug. “Damn, I missed you.”
“I missed you too. I’m so excited you’re here.” We spend the next couple of hours talking and laughing. She has to be one of the funniest people I know. She is such a damn perv, and I love every second of it.
“So my thoughts are, we get all sexy, go have dinner, then head to the club. What do you think?”
I smile, loving the idea. “Sounds perfect.”
She tucks her legs under her and leans her head on her arm. “Before we go out and get our drink on, let’s talk serious for a minute.”
I should have known she wouldn’t just let it go. She makes me dig deep and talk about shit I don’t want to talk about. I don’t say anything. I just look at her and raise my eyebrows.
“Come on, London. You can’t live in this bubble you have created.”
“Actually, it’s working out just fine for me.” She shakes her head and flicks me in the boob. “Ouch, you bitch, that hurt.”
She laughs while I rub the sting out of it. “Stop being such a puss. Listen, I know you have a lot of demons because of Axel, but sweetie, you are never going to be able to move on if you keep pushing everyone away. This guy, Blake, he sounds like a great guy. Yet instead of answering his call and texting something back that didn’t make you sound like an eighty-year-old man, you change your damn number. You have no idea what he wanted and you won’t now. Don’t you think it’s time to just let someone in…anyone? Who are your friends?” I go to talk and she interrupts. “Besides me?”
“I talk to plenty of people. Just this morning I was talking to my street team—” Once again, she interrupts me.
“Friends that you can look in the eye while talking to them.”
I just stare at her, because I never thought of it like that. I have a few friends I get together with, maybe once every two months, but the rest are online. I close my eyes and shake my head. “Okay, you’re right. I don’t have many friends that I hang out with. I’m guarded, what else can I say?”
She reaches over and holds onto my hand. “You can say that you will stop hiding, give people a chance to get to know you. Let a guy take you out for more than one date, and for the love of all things, have sex.” I start laughing and she joins in.
“I had sex.” I give her a smug smile, and she bursts out laughing.
“And you don’t remember it. That hardly counts. I’m talking about having sex while you’re conscious.”
We both laugh, but I am so embarrassed that I don’t remember. I feel lik
e such a slut, and believe me, I am the furthest thing from one. The definition of slut is” a woman who has many casual sexual partners.” In order for that to be true, well, I’d have to have sex and lots of it. It still doesn’t help with the fact I feel like one.
“Honestly, Shannon, I knew when I opened my eyes and saw him it was going to be a huge mistake. It’s better I just walk away.”
“You see, there is a difference between walking away and hiding. You are hiding.” She’s right. I am hiding, but the risk of getting hurt is minimal this way. “How about this? If you happen to run into Blake, instead of hiding from him, you actually talk to him?”
“Shannon, I appreciate you trying to pull me out of my comfort zone, I really do, but who’s to say Blake would even want to talk to me again? I’m willing to bet there aren’t many women that walk out on him then ignore his phone call, only to then change their number entirely.” I groan and cover my face. “I really am pathetic. Saying it out loud makes it sound so much worse.” I pull my hands from my face and look at her. “He’s a goddamn model. He doesn’t want anything to do with me. We had one drunken night together. I don’t even know why the hell we’re still talking about him.”
“First of all, yes, you are pathetic, but I’m here to fix that.” She winks at me and continues. “Secondly, he’d be lucky to have you. You don’t realize just how beautiful and amazing you are, again, good thing I’m here. And why don’t you tell me why we’re still talking about him?” She raises her eyebrows and I feel my face flush.
She’s right. I’m the one that won’t stop talking about him. I don’t know if it’s the dreams, the connection he has to Kallie, or if it’s something else entirely.
“All right Yoda, what do I do now?”
She smiles and stands up. “Now we get ready to get our drink on.”
Finally, something I am more than happy to do.
Chapter Two
Blake
I’m sitting out back having a cigarette. I close my eyes and smile when I picture London, but I snap my eyes open and shake my head. Fuck that. That keeps happening and it’s pissing me off. She’s the one that walked out. She’s the one that ignored my phone call. I felt like a pussy the day she texted back because I got so excited. I laughed at the text because it was such a ridiculous response. When I tried to text her back, it said her number was changed. Obviously, she wants nothing to do with me and I need to just get her out of my head. I’ve tried, believe me, I’ve tried. I’ve been with a bunch of women, but when it came time for sex, I just couldn’t do it. I keep picturing London asking me to hurt her, and I throw my boxers on and walk out. I even tried getting drunk, but that only amplified the visuals.
As far as anyone knows, I’ve been with these women. The only ones who know are the chicks themselves, and they aren’t going to say anything. They all go around talking about how I fucked them stupid, and I just smile. It’s gotten to the point that I’m getting blue balls. I need sex. Unfortunately, my dick says it needs to be London.
“Hey, brother.” I glance over at Jax as he sits down next to me.
“Hey. What’s the plan for tonight? We still going to Ecstasy?” He better not blow me off. I need to get drunk. He leans back in the seat and lights his smoke.
“Yeah, we’re still going.”
Thank fuck. I grin at him and stare out over the pool. Next weekend we’re having a party and I can’t wait. It’s been a while. Things with Jax are different now that he’s always with Kallie. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for them, but I miss my best friend sometimes. We used to do everything together, and maybe that’s why I gave him such a hard time because I knew things would change. I saw what Brody went through. That shit was horrible, and he lost most of his friends when he got together with that bitch. He blew off everyone just to be with her. I don’t want Jax to go through that, and selfishly I don’t want to go through it, either.
“You want to talk about it?”
I pull out of my thoughts and turn my attention to Jax, who grins at me. “Talk about what? Why the fuck are you grinning at me?”
He pulls one last drag of his cigarette and puts it out. “Talk about where the hell your head has been the last few weeks.”
I grin at him and stand up. “The head on my shoulders or my other head? Because one has been all over the place.” I head toward the door, thinking if only he knew I didn’t mean my dick this time.
I go inside and take a much-needed shower. I’m sick of feeling all over the place. I need to put an end to it. I’m Blake fucking Foster. I don’t get attached, and definitely not after one night. I need to find someone tonight—enough is enough.
With my pep talk over, I get out of the shower and wrap a towel around my waist. I open the door and head to my room to get ready for tonight. As I pass Jax’s room, I hear him talking on the phone to Kallie.
“I’m glad you’re feeling better. I’ll be over after we leave the club tonight.” Obviously I can’t hear her reply, but when he starts talking about how he’s going to make her scream, I shake my head, smile, and head to my room. They really do have a great relationship. They have a great sex life, and I only know this because this house is so small, I hear everything. They talk all the time, and they tell each other everything, which is something I’m not used to. Even though I feel like Jax is my brother, I still don’t tell him everything…example A, London. The best thing about their relationship is they trust each other. They can both be in different states, doing shoots, and they never once question the other one. That amazes me.
I throw a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt on before running my fingers through my hair. I grab my wallet and phone, shoving them both in my pockets, and make my way to the kitchen. Brody and Jax are sitting out back so I go join them. When I sit down, they both look at me and I smile.
“Let’s eat so we can go get drunk,” I say. Jax laughs and Brody rolls his eyes.
“I ordered pizza while you were pampering yourself,” Jax says, grinning.
I flip him off and turn my attention to Brody. “Since Jax won’t be my wingman anymore, I’m counting on you.”
Brody laughs and sips his water. “Wow, thanks, man. I’m your first choice, under Jax and Max, aren’t I?” I can’t help but laugh because the poor guy is right. If Max were coming out tonight, it would totally be him. “Yeah, that’s what I thought, you asshole.”
When the pizza gets there, we eat and just bullshit. I have so much pent-up energy, I can’t wait to get to the club and dance, and when we finish eating, I’m ready to go.
“Damn, brother, why the rush?” Jax asks.
I hop up on the counter while Brody is outside on his phone and stare at him.
“I just want to dance and get drunk.”
He gives me a grin and sits down at the table. “Why the sudden urge to get drunk? You trying to block something out of your mind?”
Christ, this asshole just won’t let it go. It’s times like this I hate that he knows me so well. “All of a sudden, I have to have something on my mind to want to get drunk? I just want to have a good time, hopefully find a nice piece of ass to bring home.” I know I’m getting to him, I can see it on his face, but that’s what I am going for, so I grin.
“You know what’s funny? You’ve been bringing home all kinds of girls lately and I haven’t heard shit from your room. So I see it two ways. Either you can’t satisfy them, or you can’t get it up because they aren’t who you want to be with. Now which one is it?”
I keep the grin on my face and hop off the counter, keeping eye contact with him. “Maybe you just aren’t listening close enough or you can’t hear shit over the ball and chain you have to drag around on your fucking ankle.” We stare at each other and both start laughing when neither of us says anything else.
“I can only imagine. You guys ready to get the hell out of here?” Brody breaks us out of our stare down laughing fit and we get ready to go.
We call a cab and wait outside while Ja
x and I have a quick smoke. “Brody, don’t puss out on me tonight. I’d do the same for you, but you never make a damn move on anyone.” I laugh but he punches me in the arm. Fucking asshole is just like his brother.
“You never know, Blake, I might find someone tonight.” Jax and I laugh and he hits us both.
“Brody, you say that shit all the time and you end up sitting at the bar, nursing a beer. It’s not that Blake and I don’t think you can’t get someone, it’s that you never try.”
Jax is right. Brody could have any girl he wants. He just doesn’t put himself out there. I can’t say I understand, since I’ve never had my heart ripped out, but I can say I understand what it’s like to constantly think about someone. There I go again. We need to get to the bar.
Thankfully, the cab gets there shortly after my mind starts going in that direction again. The ride to the club is quick, and when we get out of the cab, I can’t wait to get inside to get a shot and find someone to dance with. We go in and it’s packed, which isn’t surprising for a Friday night. We head straight to the bar and all get a shot and a beer. The bartender hands us the shots and I raise mine.
“To a night of drinks and women.” Jax rolls his eyes and Brody shakes his head, but they hit my glass and we toss back the shot. I slam my glass on the bar and tell the bartender to give us each another. He fills the glasses back up. I don’t say anything this time, and we just throw them back. “Hell yes. Let’s go find some ladies.” We grab our beers and walk toward the dance floor. It’s hard to make anyone out with so many people crammed together. I won’t let it deter me though. I have a plan, and I intend to see it through.
Behind The Book (Sexy #2) Page 3