Two thoughts ran through my head simultaneously: I could fuck with him. Or, I could admit to my own sexuality and see what he had to say. My own nervousness at what his reaction would be to the latter made me pause and consider my words carefully.
His obvious need for my answer spurred me on to give him the truth, even though he’d never asked for it. Lifting the last bite of my burger, I popped it in my mouth. When I was done chewing, I smirked at him. Mirroring his posture, I leaned forward and folded my arms on the table. “I am, too.”
Liam instantly relaxed at my confession, leaning away from the table. A deep breath filled his hard chest and the anxiety washed away from his face. I couldn’t help but wonder if he’d met the same reaction I had so many times. It twisted my stomach to think in this day and age people could be obtuse enough to hate someone based solely upon who they sleep with.
Loud footsteps approached from the side, pulling both of us out of our conversation. “Hey there.” Gabe stood at the head of the table, a warm look on his face as he greeted us. Holding his hand out to me, we shook hands. “I’m Gabe, but based on what Drea told me over there,” he angled his head toward the bar. “You already knew that.” He laughed and Liam smiled up at him.
“This is Parker,” Liam introduced me, his face screaming that he was sorry for the intrusion.
It didn’t bother me at all, actually. If anything, I felt like Gabe might be able to offer me insights about Liam he wouldn’t share on his own. And that was perfectly fine with me.
“Want to join us?” I asked, loving the fact that Liam glared at me as I did.
“Don’t mind if I do.” Gabe smiled smugly, clearly enjoying Liam’s mild discomfort as much as I did.
“Here you go, boys,” Drea chimed in as she brought us another pitcher of beer. “Play nice, now,” she scolded in a mocking tone, winking as she walked away.
We all watched the baseball game playing on the television across from us, but I had the distinct feeling that none of us were really paying attention to the game. Our focus was solely on the deafening silence settling around us.
“Well, this is pretty much the definition of awkward, huh?” Liam finally spoke, trying to break the stilted silence.
“Nope,” Gabe answered quickly. “Just three guys having a few beers, watching a game. Nothing strange about that.” The look on his face completely belied his words and he could barely contain his own laughter. He finally conceded, saying, “Okay, fine. It’s a little weird.” In a lame attempt to make casual conversation, Gabe started talking about baseball—batting averages, number of strikeouts, stolen bases, and so on.
Yeah, this was definitely uncomfortable. As Gabe’s voice droned on, Liam occasionally took part, offering his two cents about one of the teams. I, on the other hand, was incapable of following their conversation. It wasn’t that I didn’t know baseball, or didn’t enjoy the sport. It was just that it was quite difficult to focus on anything when you were picturing the man sitting across from you spread out naked on top of his car while his ex-boyfriend rambled on and on about baseball statistics.
“So what do you do, Parker?” Gabe’s voice called me away from my thoughts of Liam.
Pouring myself another beer, I answered, “Lawyer. Family law, but mainly divorces.”
Rubbing his fingers together, he let out a low whistle. “You make the big bucks, huh?”
Liam shot him a suspicious look from across the table, narrowing his eyes into angry, thin slits. It gave me the distinct feeling that my income had been a topic of conversation already. Chugging down a large gulp of my beer, I answered him truthfully, “Yes, I do.” I felt Liam’s eyes on me, but I kept my focus on Gabe. “I pit the richest of the rich against one another so that my client walks away with as much money as possible. So yeah, I earn my keep.”
“Wow, sounds like you just love your job.” Gabe eyed me over the rim of his glass, baiting me.
Shrugging, I couldn’t exactly say yes, but I didn’t hate it either. “It definitely pays the bills and then some.” Raising my glass, I drank to that. There were many times my money had given me a small taste of happiness that was clearly absent from my life. “It’s what my father groomed me for, so I guess I never really had a choice.”
“So let’s say you did have a choice.” Liam held my stare from his seat as he poured himself his second beer. “What would you choose?”
Feeling like I was caught in a game of chicken, I had to answer, but the scary reality was that I didn’t actually have one. “Not sure,” I admitted honestly. “I’ve never thought about it. And like I just told you, it’s not like he ever gave me much of a choice.” Holding my mug in both hands, I moved it back and forth on the table, a nervous gesture. Somewhat cryptically, I asked to no one in particular, “Have you ever felt as if the life you’re living is supposed to be so much more than it actually is? Like it’s not the one you’re supposed to have, but you have no clue how to change it?”
Liam’s face twisted in a strange look, his eyes shining with something that looked a lot like sympathy. “Every damn day.” Liam’s voice was quiet, menacingly so, but I heard the pain there. It was unmistakable. Gabe had heard it, too, but we all chose to ignore it. The awkward silence returned and we all absently stared over at the television once again.
Lost in my own thoughts for a minute, I realized how pathetic I sounded. Here I was, a twenty-nine year old, single gay man, living the high life in The Hamptons, and I had no clue what I wanted out of my life. But I made a pretty penny helping celebrities keep as much of their money as possible when their marriages fell apart.
Desperate to push the focus away from me, I turned the tables on Liam, asking him the same question he’d just asked me—the same question he’d angrily ignored the other night. “What would you be doing if you weren’t a mechanic? Is that what you always wanted to do?”
It ruffled his feathers just like it had before, but this time, his eyes traveled to Gabe whose face was also twisted in some odd look. Something was passing between them and I suddenly felt like an intruder on their private lives. They obviously knew something I didn’t—something Liam clearly didn’t often share.
The Gods of baseball were on Liam’s side, as a walk-off homerun made the small crowd erupt into loud cheers. With the question shelved for now, Liam cheered on with Gabe, all too happy to avoid answering me for the second time. Over the course of the night, I became sharply aware of two things: I wanted Liam. Physically I was drawn to him, and there was no denying that.
The second realization was a bit more difficult to swallow because, for the life of me, I couldn’t figure out if Liam was ready for the taking.
After the buzz of the game-winning hit calmed, we all finished our drinks and pushed away from the table. Gabe spoke first. “All right, I’m off.” Extending his hand, we shook. “Nice to meet you, Parker. Maybe I’ll see you again, soon.” His words were spoken to me, but his eyes were on Liam, telling him something in a secret language to which I was clearly not privy.
Nodding, I agreed, “You too, Gabe.” And I wasn’t lying. It had been nice to kind of forget about my regular life for a few hours, to enjoy a few drinks and good food with decent people. Sitting across from Liam all night hadn’t been torture either.
As we all walked out of the bar, I watched on like some kind of stranger as Gabe and Liam spoke quietly in front of me. Distracting myself with checking my emails on my phone, I let them have a minute, not wanting to seem like I was eavesdropping. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Gabe drop his hands on Liam’s shoulders, squeeze gently, and smile softly at him. It looked like a ‘more than friends’ exchange, but the half-hug, half-handshake that followed definitely confirmed it as nothing of the sort.
As Liam walked toward me, he seemed lighter somehow, and a large part of me wanted to ask what they’d just spoken about. But I didn’t want to be nosy and I sure as hell didn’t want to push Liam away more than I already had. I’d been enough of an asshole s
ince I’d first met him and I didn’t know what would be the final straw that would finally break his back. So for now, I just bit my tongue and said, “He seems like a nice guy.”
“Fishing are you?” Liam joked, raking his hand through his dark brown hair.
“Is there something I should be fishing for?”
Shaking his head, he laughed again. “No, but in case you are, believe me we’re just friends. Things won’t ever work out between Gabe and me like that.”
“You sound pretty sure about that. What happened?”
His only response was a deep chuckle of deflective laughter. He stepped closer to me, leaving barely an inch of space between us. “You seem to want to know an awful lot about me.”
Closing the minimal gap between us, I stepped into the remaining space. His warm breath bathed over my cheek as I leaned in to whisper in his ear. The change in his breathing happened instantly—from calm and even to staggered and shallow in a matter of seconds. Despite the darkness in which the parking lot was covered, I saw his eyes roll back. His body was weakening against mine and I reveled in the feeling of somehow wielding control over him—even though just seconds earlier, he’d feigned that same control over me. Running my hand over his strong arm, I grabbed his bicep and pulled him up against me. With my lips pressed right against the shell of his ear, I whispered, “I want to know it all, but for tonight, just knowing that you enjoy being around me,”—I pressed my body against his, emphasizing exactly how much we were both enjoying ourselves—“well, that’s enough for me. For now.”
He sagged when I pulled away from him, a frustrated look of yearning on his face. Strolling toward my car, I knew my hand would have to be enough for tonight, but it wouldn’t suffice for too long. Either I was going to have to slash my own tires, or think of a slightly less destructive way to get closer to Liam.
Rolling over in my bed, I squinted at the clock on my nightstand. Eleven on a Saturday and I hadn’t even woken my lazy ass up. But as I flopped onto my back, I reveled in the idea that I didn’t have to get up. Having stayed out entirely too late last night at Murray’s, I didn’t really feel like doing much of anything, so curling the blankets back over my shoulder and dozing off for at least another hour sounded like a perfect plan to me.
As the day moved along, I finally pulled myself out of bed. Sure it was somewhat lame that I was making my first cup of coffee when it was just past noon, but I’d never set out to impress anyone. And today sure as hell wasn’t the day I’d start.
After opening a few curtains in my small and very messy living room, I flopped down onto the couch and mindlessly flipped through the channels. After settling on some old school cartoon repeats, I sipped my coffee and enjoyed the slow afternoon. Surveying the room, I thought maybe a little bit of spring cleaning was in order, but really there was no point. People, other than Gabe, rarely visited. I had no one to impress and despite my hopes that something would come of my time with Parker, the opposite had happened.
It had been a little over two weeks since I’d seen him last—not that I was keeping track of the days or anything. Besides, it wasn’t like I had time in my life for anyone. I was a busy man.
And also, a terrible liar. The harsh reality was that, other than my job and my friendship with Gabe, I had nothing. The interest I’d had in Parker meant more to me than I wanted to admit, but even two weeks later, I couldn’t shake him.
The way his lips felt against my ear.
The way his body felt against mine.
The way his words sent shivers down my spine, weakening everything I’d ever built up.
Yet, those things weren’t enough to force me to make the call. For some asinine reason, he had to call me.
As my phone buzzed, skittering across the coffee table in front of me, I laughed. “What are the chances?” But as I looked at the screen, I realized it was only Paulie.
“What’s up?” I greeted, no hellos necessary.
“Good morning to you, sunshine,” he joked into the line, knowing full well I rarely got myself in gear before noon on the weekends.
Taking another sip of my coffee, I stretched out on the small sofa. “What’dya want, old man?”
“Ha. Ha. Ha” He emphasized each fake laugh. “I just wanted to make sure you were up and still on for Annie’s surprise party later tonight. You know she’d hate for you not to be there.”
“Aw, that’s cute. Using your wife as an excuse to see me outside the shop.” I laughed. “I promise, I won’t tell.”
“Fucking ass,” Paulie chuckled into the line. “Listen, just make sure you get your ass to Murray’s to set up at seven-thirty. We’ll be there at eight-fifteen.”
“That’s all I’m good for, huh?” I joked.
“Well, the other option is keeping Annie busy beforehand.” His insinuation was very clear, as was his laughter as he snickered into the line. “Yeah, I didn’t think you’d want any part of that.”
“Shut the hell up.” A good natured ribbing was the perfect way to start my weekend, and it was also the perfect reminder of how much Annie and Paulie meant to me. They were my family. “I’ll be there,” I answered. Just as he was starting to say something else, another call rang through the call waiting. “Gotta go, Paulie. See you later.” He was mid-sentence when I hung up. Whatever it was would have to wait.
“Hello?”
“Liam?” Parker’s warm voice flowed through the line, shocking me into silence.
After bolting upright in my seat, I quickly dropped my mug to the table, as if holding something in my hand while I spoke with Parker would distract me in some way. “Hello?” he asked again when I still hadn’t said anything.
“Uh, yeah, hi.” Scrubbing a hand over my face, I was nothing short of shocked to hear from him. Two weeks had passed and it was as if simply thinking about him made him appear in my world—if only on my cell. Hell, if it would have been that easy, he should have called at least a dozen times in the last dozen days. “What’s up?” My bearings somewhat regained, I reached for my mug again.
“Where do you live?”
Nearly choking on my coffee, I coughed into the line, trying to wrap my head around the randomness of his question. “In my house.” Opting for the wiseass route, I laughed at my answer.
Parker also laughed, a warm sound, and I could picture his amused smile. “And where would that house be located?”
Momentarily shamed into silence, I thought about his house. What would he think when he pulled up in front of my shabby shack of a place. His house was a mansion compared to mine and for some stupid reason, I felt like he’d hold that against me somehow. “What do you want, Parker?” Frustration weighed heavily on my words as I snapped into the line.
He didn’t respond right away, but I heard the loud roar of his engine slow and the music lowered. “I’ve already driven by the shop. You weren’t there. I can’t imagine that you live all that far from there. I could use your help with something and I was hoping to pick you up.”
Carefully weighing his seemingly honest words, I stood and walked toward the window. Scanning my small yard, I realized maybe a little landscaping was in order. Even though I still rented the place from Paulie’s friend, I had to maintain the place myself. The house had that ‘creepy man lives here’ vibe. Sadly, it wasn’t too far from the truth. When I moved in all those years ago, I’d been nothing more than the guy who’d kept to himself. Hell, add a beard, sunglasses, and a hoodie and I was the Unabomber.
“So what do you say?” Parker’s words pulled me from my daze.
There was something in his voice that called to me. Thinking that maybe he wouldn’t care about where I lived as I much I did, I sighed into the line. “Fine.” After rattling off my address, I heard his engine rev.
“I’ll be there in five minutes. Be ready,” he commanded and despite my momentary nervousness over seeing him again, I couldn’t deny I was excited.
Chugging down the rest of my coffee, I swallowed some of my
anxiety as well. As I slid on a pair of beat-up jeans, my body recalled what it felt like to be pressed up against Parker’s. My fingers twitched with excitement as I grabbed a T-shirt and slipped it over my head. Running my hands through my hair did nothing to tame it, but it would have to do. The man hadn’t given me more than a few minutes to get ready, so he was going to have to deal with the un-showered, unshaved version.
As I walked back out to the living room, I grabbed my leather jacket from the back of a chair and slid my sunglasses on. Just as I was closing the door behind me, Parker’s car rolled to a stop in my pebbled driveway.
He stepped out of the car, the image of cool perfection. The dark jeans covering his legs were on the opposite end of the spectrum from mine. Where I was all torn edges and disheveled mess, he was freshly pressed flawlessness. His pale purple thermal shirt was pushed up his arms, the light dusting of hair on his arms catching the early afternoon glints of light. In a fluid move, which was sexier than anything I’d ever witnessed in daylight, he pulled his glasses from his face and tucked them into his collar.
He’d totally screwed with me simply by calling, but then showing up and looking like that. Yeah, my head was going haywire, and I couldn’t even begin to explain what he was doing to my body. My exact opposite in pretty much every way possible, Parker was the epitome of my darkest desires. And he was standing right here, so close yet somehow so unreachable. Because if I gave into those needs, I wasn’t so sure I’d ever be able to recover from everything else that would be exposed along with them.
Trying my best to keep my cool, I strutted over to him. Stumbling and falling on my face was a very real concern. So I took each step carefully, falsely presenting some kind of confident attitude.
“What? You’re not going to invite me in?” Parker tipped his chin at the door.
Shaking my head, I rolled my eyes at him from behind my shades. “I wasn’t planning on it.” Adjusting the collar on my jacket gave me something to focus on other than his hard jawline. “What did you want anyway?” Being thrown off by his larger than life presence, I found myself on edge, my words short and almost mean.
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