That was all the motivation I needed to alleviate her of her guilt.
“Mom,” I said, reaching for her hand. “Nobody in this room is to blame. We did nothing wrong except trust him.”
It took more than a few minutes for the emotions to subside and when they did, I told them about why I’d run and how much I regretted it. I told them about what I’d made of my life—even though car mechanic wasn’t much to boast about, I was proud of the fact that I’d survived and accomplished at least a few minor successes.
“What are you going to do now, William?” my father asked.
“I actually go by Liam now. I have since the day I left.” Looking at Mom, I added, “I couldn’t stand to go by his name anymore.”
“We understand.” My father patted me on the shoulder, a proud tone in his words.
Wearily, I looked at Brendan. I couldn’t tell what he wanted of me in terms of any kind of brotherhood and friendship. But I did know that I’d be there for him if that was what he wanted. “I haven’t really had much of a chance to think about it. But my life is here. If you’re asking if I’m going to go back with you or anything like that, I’m sorry, but I can’t.” Turning my attention to Brendan, I gripped his shoulders. “I will never leave you again, you understand? It’s just everything I know as an adult is here. And everything I want to forget is there.”
He nodded and swallowed hard. “I know.”
“But I want to figure out a way to mix the two together,” I spoke to my mom. “There and here, I mean. It’s just all so much right now.”
She laughed through the tears, saying, “You think?” It was what we all needed in that moment to cut through the heavily weighted tension. “We’re just so happy you’re alive. We looked for you for so long. How could we have missed you?”
“I stayed hidden. Changed my name. Left no paper trail. Had friends who helped me along the way.” It was clear my explanation hurt her, knowing I could vanish into thin air, but it was my life and I wasn’t going to be ashamed of it.
I think they both realized I was beyond their reach at this point. I had been for far too long. “You know we have to go back, right?” my father asked, careful to make sure I knew they weren’t leaving me somehow.
“I know. And as soon as I can wrap my head around all of this, maybe I’ll come up for a visit. Or you can come here. Or something. I don’t know exactly, right now.”
“It’s okay.” My mom stopped my would-be rambling. “We understand. But we have you back, now. That’s the important thing.” Her arms flew around my neck and she kissed my cheek. “We love you,” she said before pulling back.
Just as she did, the door cracked open and Detective Smith walked in. “I just wanted to let you all know that you’re free to go. We’ve sent everything we need up to the Rye Police Department.”
“Thank you, Detective,” my father said, walking across the small room to shake his hand. “We can’t thank you and your staff enough for bringing our sons back to us.”
“Just part of our job, Mr. Davidson.” Detective Smith looked down at his watch as he yawned. “Surely, you won’t drive home tonight. You must be exhausted.”
“We haven’t figured that out quite yet, but I’m sure there’s a motel somewhere we can stay for the night,” my father explained.
“Nonsense,” Parker called from the door. He walked in looking just as tired and worn out as I was, but he was every bit as perfectly handsome as I’d always seen him. “I’m sorry for interrupting,” he explained, walking to me. “But I overheard you say something about a motel. You are all welcome to stay at my place for the night. There’s more than enough room and it will give you all a little more time together, even if only until tomorrow morning.”
It wasn’t until he saw the blank and confused stares of my parents that he pieced together they had no clue who he was. “Mom, Dad, this is Parker Ryan.” Moving to his side, I pulled his hand in mine—where it belonged. “Brendan came looking for him because he had worked on an abuse case.”
As professional and polite as ever, Parker let go of my hand and extended his to each of my parents. “Mr. and Mrs. Davidson, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”
“Please, call us Katherine and John.” They shook each other’s hands, but I could tell my parents were still a bit reluctant to take him up on his offer. “We’d hate to put you out for the night. I’m sure we could find a place to stay.”
“Really, it’s okay, Katherine. It’s not putting me out at all, besides,” he stopped and looked over at me, “it’s the least I could do.”
His hand found mine again and I watched on as both my parents looked down at our twined-together fingers. “Before you have to ask,” I clarified. “Yes, we are together. We have been for about two months now. I can’t say whether or not I intended to tell you about him tonight or not, but I know I couldn’t have come down here alone. He had to be here and since he is, there’s no way I can deny who he is to me. I’m sorry you had to find out this way.”
Mom dropped Dad’s hand and stepped in front of Parker and me. What could have been mistaken for a pause needed for processing, was only one needed to gather her emotions. “Thank you,” she said through tears, looping her arms around Parker’s neck. “For bringing them both back to us. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.” As she repeated her thanks, she pulled me into a hug with Parker. “I don’t care who you love. I just care that you’re here. That you’re alive.” Focusing her attention back on Parker, she said, “We would love to stay the night.”
Dad stepped next to her, extending his hand again to Parker. “Thank you, Parker.” His normally steady voice wobbled with thick emotion before he pulled Parker into an awkward half-hug. “For everything.”
And just like that, the five of us walked out of the precinct. What was once a broken family, was slowly starting to stitch itself back together. Holding tightly to his hand, I knew Parker would become an important piece of that fabric.
“They’re all settled.” Walking into Parker’s room, I caught the tail end of him changing into gym shorts and a T-shirt. Sinking down onto the bed, I felt like a completely different person than I had been just twenty-four hours ago. “Thank you for letting them stay with us. I was so distracted with everything else, I hadn’t even thought of it.”
“Of course.” Parker smiled at me, tossing me some clothes to change into. After I changed, we both sat up in bed, leaning against the headboard.
Even though the clock on his nightstand showed it was past two in the morning, I knew I still had so much more to say to him. Yet, when he asked, “How are you holding up?” Nothing of what I wanted to say would come out of my mouth. All I could manage was to curl up at his side, inhaling his perfectly masculine and clean scent.
He kissed the top of my head, running his fingers through my hair, promising me everything would work out. But he didn’t need to say those things to me. I knew they would be. Even if there were more bumps in the road, which I was sure there would be, I knew I could navigate them with Parker at my side. “Can I tell you something?” I asked, finally gathering my thoughts enough to say what I had to.
“You can tell me anything,” he said, pressing his lips against my head again.
With my cheek pressed firmly against his chest, and my arm looped around his waist I tried my best to explain the things I’d never said before. “This whole thing,” I hinted at the shit storm of my life and abuse, the running away and coming here. “It’s the reason things never worked out with me and Gabe.”
“I assumed as much.” The rhythmic motion of his fingers running through my hair hypnotized me and somehow made it all easier to say what I needed to.
Needing to look him in the eyes, I straightened up and twisted to him. “Not for the reasons you’re thinking, I’m sure.”
Parker looked at me, his eyes conveying all the emotion he didn’t need to say. “Will you tell me, then?”
“He wanted the happily ever after. House and kids. All
that shit. And even though he didn’t want it right that second, he knew he wouldn’t be able to give it up and I didn’t want to take it away from him. So we had to split.”
“Why don’t you want those things?” Parker’s face twisted in sadness, but not in judgment.
“I couldn’t protect myself, how could I possibly protect the people I’d grow to love more than life itself? And I ran from my own family. Who’s to say I wouldn’t do the same when things got tough? That’s why I freaked the fuck out when I found out Annie was pregnant.” Embarrassment flushed over me thinking about how much of an ass I’d acted that night. “She’s sick and I panicked thinking something would happen to her. I couldn’t protect her or Paulie, or the baby.”
“But–”
“You don’t have to say it. Now I know those things aren’t my responsibility. I know I was a kid then and things are different now. But they weren’t so different when I was with Gabe, and it scared the shit out of me. And then with Annie, it all came back to the surface. I was scared I would never be able to get over all those issues.”
“What about now?” he asked cautiously.
Pulling his hands into mine, I rested them on my lap. “Now, I’m not so scared.”
His lazy smile made my chest nearly burst in happiness. “Me either.”
“There’s more,” I said, pressing our joined hands against my lips.
“Okay.”
“You’ve asked what it is I want from you. Sexually.” There was no better time than now to finally admit it. It needed to be said and he needed to know if we were ever going to make things work.
“Liam, please. We don’t have to talk about this tonight. Especially after everything–”
Cutting him off, I said, “No. It needs to be now. I’ve wanted to tell you for a long time, but I’ve never had the courage. Tonight, I do.” Parker nodded, holding tightly to my hands, silently waiting for whatever it was I had to say.
Taking a deep breath, I tried to bring order to my scattered head. “The submitting,” I started, “that’s become part of what I need now. And with you, it’s different. It’s natural. I love that about us.”
Parker’s eyes sparkled with deviousness and love. “I love it, too.”
“I know.” I snickered, smiling lazily. “But, it’s taken me a long time to realize it. And there’s one other thing. Because of what happened at the end that made me leave.” Grateful he didn’t need me to repeat how my uncle had forced me to top him, I took another deep breath rather than speaking those words. “That’s what I want.”
Parker looked at me, clearly confused at what I’d said. And he should have been. It was confusing even to me. “I want to be able to make love to you,” I clarified. “But I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to and it scares me that what we have might not be enough for you. Or enough for me.”
“Liam,” Parker croaked, pulling me into his arms. “Listen to me. You are enough.” Angling back from me, he held me at arm’s length, certain to keep his eyes focused on mine. “I want to be with you in whatever way it’s possible. I want you any way I can get you. It’s that plain and simple.”
“But what if–?”
“We work on it. With each other. In therapy. Whatever you need is what I’ll be.” Then his arms banded around me, making every uncertainty I’d ever had about how he would feel about my insecurities vanish like a thin wisp of smoke into the cool air.
Sliding down under the covers, Parker kept me tucked in his arms. And as natural as it had been for so many nights before this, I rested my head on his chest and let the calm, even rhythm of his breathing lull me to sleep.
We’d never know what tomorrow would bring, but for the first time in my life, I didn’t need to. All I needed was Parker at my side to know nothing else really mattered. We were a long way from being perfect and, honestly, that wasn’t something either of us aspired to be.
All we’d ever wanted was to be loved for our broken pieces, not despite them.
All we’d ever wanted was to feel repaired enough to find happiness in the simplest moments of life.
And with Parker, I had just that.
Wiping my hands on the grease-covered rag, I looked at the finished product of months of hard work. Parker’s car was finally done. It had taken far longer than I’d originally anticipated, but life kind of got in the way. He’d been so unbelievably busy starting over with his own firm and with running a non-profit support line for survivors of abuse; he hadn’t had much time or brain space left to deal with restoring his car.
I’d been fairly busy myself. Knowing he’d need time away from the shop when the baby was born, Paulie essentially made me his partner. I was working longer hours and loving every minute of it. Yet, despite the added workload, I still made time to take a few trips up to visit Brendan and my parents. I was there for the close of the trial. Hearing my uncle sentenced settled some of the brokenness in my life. But really what helped me heal was being with my family again. Even I couldn’t believe how seamlessly my past and present were coming together.
And Parker was most definitely my present. He’d become the most important person in my life. It was his birthday, and I couldn’t think of anything more meaningful to give to him. He thought the real plans were tomorrow night—dinner with Gabe and Zan, so tonight was most definitely going to be a surprise. Of course, it meant far too many late nights here at the shop, but it was all worth it. With the rest of the night planned for a birthday celebration, I needed to get my ass in gear if I wanted both the car and myself cleaned and ready to go.
It was easy enough to keep Parker in the dark about our evening, with him being so busy. But as for me, I could barely contain the excitement. Driving his car back to what used to be only my apartment, I felt as if I was transporting some kind of precious cargo. To many, this car might just be a status symbol or some kind of toy to drive fast and screw around, but to Parker and me it was more than that. It was the physical manifestation of everything we’d built together.
Our relationship.
Our home.
Our future.
After I showered, I pulled out a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt. Despite how important today was, I still wanted to keep it as normal as possible. Moving quickly, I gathered my phone and keys. December hadn’t been kind to the Hamptons, but the most recent snowstorm had only graced us with a few inches. It made it just enough of an issue in cleaning up his beach house, but I knew the effort was worth it. Since he was so occupied with setting up his own firm, we didn’t have much of a chance to use it this summer. Today was the perfect opportunity for us to get away and forget our reality for a while.
Somehow, luck was on my side because I pulled up to his office building at the exact moment he walked out the door. Parker’s face split into a wide smile when he saw his car waiting for him. “What the hell?” he called out as he walked toward me, dropping his briefcase in the inch of snow dusting the parking lot.
“Happy birthday, babe,” I muttered against his lips.
“When did you? How did you?”
“I wanted it to be a surprise,” I explained. “Do you like it?”
“Like it?” He pulled away from me, running his hand over the sleek hood. “I freaking love it. This is fucking amazing, Liam.”
“Good,” I said quickly, wrapping my arms around my chest, pulling my jacket tighter around my body. “Now, get in. It’s fucking freezing out here.” Dangling the keys in front of him, I smiled. It wasn’t lost on me that he let his fingers glide over mine in a sensuous slide as he swiped the keys from my hand.
Gathering his briefcase, he laughed as he slid into the car. “This is–”
“The best birthday present ever,” I joked, pulling his hand into mine.
“By far. Thank you so much. I know I wasn’t much help.”
“You didn’t need to. I wanted to do it for you. Does it make you happy?” I asked, already knowing the answer.
“Unbelievably so.”
<
br /> “Good, then it was all worth it.”
When I told him we were headed to the beach house, he shot me a suspicious look, but he drove on anyway.
“What do you have up your sleeve?” he asked, turning the knob to the house we hadn’t used in months.
“Up my sleeve?” I asked, cocking an eyebrow at him. “Nothing. Down my pants, well, that’s a different story.”
The instant we were through the door, I captured him in my arms. Pressing him against the door, I attacked his mouth with the need I’d stifled in the last week filled with late nights and early mornings.
“Liam,” he groaned, pressing his body into mine as he pulled me closer to him. His lips danced along my jaw and down my neck as my fingers worked at his belt. With a loud clank, it fell to the floor and his pants followed quickly thereafter.
A loud hiss of pleasure fell from his mouth as his cock sprang free. My hands worked over his length, feeling like they’d claimed something that belonged only to them. As I sank to my knees, I kept my eyes on his the entire time.
No words were needed as I took him into my mouth. Laving over every vein and ridge, I loved that I’d become so familiar with his body I could play it like an extension of my own. His head lolled back, thudding against the door behind him as I sucked him deep into my throat.
“I wanted to give you something extra special for your birthday,” I groaned around his cock.
“Oh, yeah,” he sighed, looking down at me.
And with that, I let him fall from my mouth and pulled us over to the bedroom. Sitting on the bed, he eyed me hungrily as I shed all my clothes. Naked and needy, I crawled on top of him. There was a warmth that existed between us that could only be recreated in these moments of passion. It was a feeling of complete wholeness that I never knew existed until I’d become one with Parker. As my mouth devoured his, I knew he was never going to be the person who completed me.
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