by Marie James
Table of Contents
We Said Forever
Copyright
Acknowledgements
Extras
Synopsis
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Chapter 45
Chapter 46
Epilogue
More Than a Memory Excerpt
Other Standalones by Marie James
Coming Soon
Series Titles
We Said Forever
Marie James
Copyright
We Said Forever
Copyright © 2017 Marie James
Editing by Word Nerd Editing
EBooks are not transferrable. All rights are reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. The unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this copyrighted work is illegal. No part of this book may be scanned, uploaded, or distributed via the Internet or any other means, electronic or print, without the publisher’s permission.
This book is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the writer’s imagination or have been used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, actual events, locale, or organizations is entirely coincidental.
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Acknowledgements
Let me start by saying this book nearly KILLED ME! It was so emotionally draining to put these words down. Some days these characters were so heartbroken they refused to speak to me, refused to open up enough for me to get their story. So if you struggled, cried, wanted to kick Blaze in the nuts, or scream at Fallyn, just know I was right there with you! (Yes, Julian was the sweetest ever and then turned into the ultimate douche canoe… but you want more don’t you? You may get your wish!)
JA Essen, my magnificent husband, is my rock and supported me and didn’t complain too much when I disappeared and hide for hours on end so I could get this story out. You amaze me babe!
B… my other half, my brain most days, you seriously can’t even imagine how much I rely on you! Getting a new job has proved just how much I need and miss you during the daylight hours!! #MainsKunt
My beautiful, ginger, Canadian sKunt, Laura… you have helped me so much, I’m eternally grateful for your patience and delivery when I’m in a pinch. Without you getting lists together and going over spreadsheets, I would’ve never been able to write this book!!
My Wyoming girls Renee, MaRanda, and Steph… ladies you keep me sane and the laughs flowing. Plotting, helping with words so I don’t say stupid shit like “love tunnel”, “meat sword”, and “creamy seed.” You can’t begin to know how valuable you are to me!!
Ladies on my ARC team, you gals are a God send! Thanks for all of the support, enthusiasm, and eagerness to read my stories!
Monica Black, my fearless editor, you continue to take my meager words and turn them into a symphony of beauty. You’re the best!! I utterly, completely, and entirely love you to pieces. ;)
Linda at Sassy Savvy Fabulous… lady… what can I say? Thank you for talking me off of the edge on more than one occasion and for being the realistic, professional voice in my head.
Give Me Books! Thank you for your continued support with promotions.
Special thanks to all of the bloggers that get involved and spread the word with my cover reveals, release blitzes, and sales!
Last, but sure as hell not least, my wonderful readers, you keep me going. The kind words sent in messages and social media posts, every single share, like, and comment means the world to me! I hope I continue to write the stories you want to tell your friends about!
On that note, this book is loanable so send it to a friend!
As always, word of mouth is the best friend of every author. Share your thoughts, write a review, and know that although I don’t “like” each and every mention, I see you and I’m floored by the support!
Extras
Cover Design by TE Black
Cover Photo: Adobe Stock
We Said Forever Playlist:
Spotify Link: https://goo.gl/mU04ls
Songs:
Seein’ Red-Dustin Lynch
You Promised-Brantley Gilbert
The Best of Me-Brantley Gilbert
Fall Into Me-Brantley Gilbert
Saving Amy-Brantley Gilbert
You Don’t Know Her Like I Do-Brantley Gilbert
Stone Cold Sober-Brantley Gilbert
Look at What I’ve Done-Chris Cagle
I’d Be Lying-Chris Cagle
What We Ain’t Got-Jake Owen
Who I Am With You-Chris Young
Used To Love You Sober-Kane Brown
Your Side Of The Bed-Little Big Town
UnLove You-Jennifer Nettles
Keep You-Sugarland
Wanted You More-Lady A
Stay-Florida Georgia Line
Wasting All These Tears-Cassadee Pope
I Wish I Could Break Your Heart-Cassadee Pope
Should’ve Been Us-Tori Kelly
Burning House-Cam
Staying’s Worse Than Leaving-Sunny Sweeney
Record Year-Eric Church
If I Told You-Darius Rucker
Sober Saturday Night-Chris Young
Just Keep Breathing-We The Kings
You Heard Wrong-Dylan Schneider
Drunk Enough-Angels Fall
Now That I Know Your Name-Jordan Rager
Stupid Girl-Jennifer Nettles
The Long Goodbye-Brooks & Dunn
I Can’t Love You Anymore-Gary Nichols
Like I Loved You-Brett Young
Fallout-Mariana’s Trench
Fight With-Carter Winter
H.O.L.Y.-Florida Georgia Line
Better Man-Little Big Town
Don’t Let Me Down-The Chainsmokers
How Not To-Dan & Shay
Synopsis
Rock bottom.
They say the only way to go from there is up, but what is “up” when you’re born into someone else’s rock bottom?
At ten, football became my first love. It’s what got me out of the house away from my self-destructive family. My love for football landed me at Las Vegas University with a full ride scholarship, and the orange on
my jersey was my favorite color…until my eyes landed on the red dress Fallyn wore the night we met.
At twenty-one, I jumped off the cliff into the unknown the second Fallyn McIntyre danced in my arms at a party. I had the greatest girl in the world and the opportunity to play college ball every Saturday. My rock bottom was looking up, thanks to my two first loves.
Parties, sex, and football—life was perfect. But one drink too many, and my world came crashing down. When I chose pills over my second love, my head told me it was the best decision I ever made. The pills keep me warm and protect me from the distance Fallyn created. Percs don’t judge me. They make me feel alive.
Threes.
They say the best things come in threes, but one leads to a stable future, one is my salvation, and the other drags me to hell—a hell I’d willingly burn in for eternity…if it weren’t for my second love.
Prologue
The stagnant, filthy air of the one bedroom apartment stings my nose as I make my way down the short hall to the living room. The worn, tamped down carpet sticks to the soles of my shoes, the years of built up grime well past the point of being able to be cleaned.
My stomach roils in disgust, the shame of where I live and what I deal with daily sitting heavy in my empty gut. A familiar buzz surrounds me, and I swat at the fly permeating my space—one of God knows how many. My gaze darts to the couch, and true to form, my mother is passed out, a rubber band around her arm and needle sticking out of her vein. I drag my hands through my hair as a sigh bursts from my lips. Exasperation, desperation, disgust—it lands straight in my sour stomach. She couldn’t even be bothered to pull the frequently used hypodermic needle out of her arm before passing out. Closing my eyes, I pinch the outer shell of the needle with sure fingers, tug it free of her arm, and place it next to the empty baggie and heroin residue on the weathered piece of wood that’s served as the coffee table for as long as I can remember.
Muscle memory is all that’s involved as I grab the tattered blanket from the end of the couch and pull it over her sleeping form, her chest rising and falling with each shallow breath. Gooseflesh is already visible on Mom’s skin—a surefire sign she’s coming down from her high. Helping her isn’t out of love, but a sense of survival, self-preservation. Waking up warm decreases the chance of an altercation when I get home from school this afternoon.
I used to love my mother—years ago, when alcohol was the only thing she needed to get through the day, when she used words rather than her fists. Taking care of Mom always allows thoughts of my deadbeat father to trickle in—the man who ruined my once loving mother when I was eight. One tiny bag of chunky brown powder was all it took for my mother to turn from a semi-functioning alcoholic to a full-blown heroin addict. He got her high, beat her bloody, and left like he always does. I took care of her when he deserted us again. I held her to my chest and begged her never to do it again as her stomach emptied on my clothes. She promised me she’d stop it all. No more drinking, no more drugs, no more Dad.
Those promises lasted as long as the high did. Six hours later, she was gone, looking for her next fix. That was four years ago, and every day since has gotten progressively worse.
I shake my head, trying to rid my thoughts of the failure my parents saddled me with as I walk out of the apartment. Pulling the broken door closed is the best I can do. The lock and door jamb were busted long ago, but that’s what happens when a drug dealer comes around looking for payment. Sometimes she’s able to trade with stolen goods or cash, but most often, she settles her debts on her back—another thing a twelve-year-old boy should never have to see when coming home from school.
Tears sting the backs of my eyes. One minute—that’s all I ever give myself for self-pity each day. For sixty seconds, I allow myself to wish things were different while cursing God for giving me this life.
I hitch my backpack farther up on my shoulder, the weight of my football uniform and second-hand cleats a welcome distraction. Football is my escape. The smell of the grass, the thud of shoulder pads as they collide, the sound of Coach’s whistle when we can do better…all of it helps me clear my head—helps me keep hope alive that one day my life will be different.
“If you don’t like it, change it.” Coach’s words, his mantra, echo in my head as I take the three flights of stairs to the ground level. I hold my head high as I walk out of the apartment building in ratty clothes. There’s something to be said about living and surviving a childhood in East Las Vegas. Not many people know some of the worst neighborhoods in Sin City, even competing with the ganglands of Los Angeles, are a mere ten miles from where millions of people vacation each year. Unbelievable to many, but true nonetheless. Mention the area surrounding UMC Hospital to anyone from around here and wait for the crinkle of their noses—it’s inevitable.
This may be my life now, but there is nothing about this situation that will be involved in my future. I look up at the sky—blue, cloudless, much like my destiny.
Chapter 1
Fallyn
“No freaking way.” I cringe at myself, then look over my shoulder at Charity’s reflection in my mirror. Familiar narcissistic emotions tingle at the edge of my subconscious. I despise the awareness after it’s been dormant for years.
“You look hot,” she cajoles as her hands swipe down the front of her equally ridiculous dress.
“Where in the world did you even find clothes like this?” I tug at the bottom hem of the micro-mini, only to have a nipple pop out from the top. If the length of the dress doesn’t scream slutty, the red, shimmery fabric ensures everyone who sees it will think just that.
“From that novelty store near Excalibur.”
I glare at her in the mirror. “That’s not a novelty shop, Charity. It’s a damn sex toy shop.”
She shrugs, pushing me out of her way so she can apply the fourth layer of lipstick to her already bright red lips. “Semantics. This party is a big deal,” she assures me.
“For you, maybe. You know parties don’t interest me at all.” I’ve managed to separate myself from the college party scene the last two and a half years, sans one other, which cemented the notion that I don’t belong in that world. Why I relented tonight, I’ll never know. I give up on stretching the dress and pull on my favorite denim jacket. At least I won’t be flashing everyone my breasts the second we arrive. I can’t say the same about my ass.
“The Tigers will be there—all of them,” she explains, referring to the players for the Las Vegas University football team. “It’s the weekend before the Championship game, so the house is going to be filled with them!”
Her excitement over possibly scoring with a college-level football player is almost admirable. Almost.
“I don’t know a damn thing about sports. I won’t fit in.” I don’t want to fit in.
She narrows her eyes at me, and she chuffs an indignant laugh. “I know for a fact you give zero fucks about fitting in. It’ll be fun, I promise. You’ll regret not going. Plus, football players just mean hot, sexy, incredibly fit guys, which honestly has nothing to do with sports.”
“Tons of fun,” I snipe, walking out of the cramped bathroom in our off-campus apartment. “Just what I need, egocentric, self-serving jocks who think they’re God’s gift to every woman.”
I stop long enough to grab my purse from the table and walk out the door, Charity on my heels. The energy radiating from her is palpable. The girl acts as if this is the very first party she’s gone to with football players in attendance. How easily she forgot the party after the first game of the season and the player who told her to “get fucked”—his words, not mine. At least she’s resilient. My plans for tonight include drinking water and blending into the wall until she’s so wasted and rejected, she begs me to get her home, just like the one and only other party she convinced me to attend last fall.
I glance down at the time on my cell phone as we huddle together in the brisk January air calculating how long it will be before I can crawl back
into my warm bed.
“At least pretend to be excited,” she chastises with a quick shake of my shoulders. “It’s New Year’s Eve, Fallyn, second semester of your junior year. Eventually, you’re going to have to act like a damn college student.”
I nod, my lips clamped in a thin line. “Right. College student. Getting messed up and sleeping with random guys—”
The smile on her face halts my words. “Exactly,” she mouths.
I watch the puff of warm air mix with the cold around us until it dissipates completely. “Why don’t I just skip the trip to the free clinic next week by going back inside and watching the damn ball drop on TV? It’s nearly midnight on the east coast, so I could be in bed within the hour.”
“Unbelievable,” she mutters as the cab pulls up to the curb. She shoves me into the back and climbs in behind me, giving the driver the address to a house on the other side of campus.
I regret agreeing to do this as much as I’m going to regret the blisters I’ll have on my feet from these ridiculous shoes and the frost bite that will cover more than half my body when I wake up tomorrow. What a way to start the New Year.
***
My head pounds in rhythm to the beat the DJ seems to have on repeat. I ignore the catcalls and wandering eyes of the beyond drunk people surrounding me. Safely tucked into the corner of the room with my back against the wall, I contemplate using drunken college parties and the failure rate of students who attend as my thesis next year, but then I remind myself my degree is in marketing and that makes no damn sense.
I look at my phone for the millionth time since arriving at this near orgy and realize it’s only been six minutes since the last time I looked at it. With a soundless sigh, I push myself off the wall and weave through the group of half-naked, gyrating bodies. My water bottle has been empty for the last forty-five minutes, and if I have any hope of surviving the humid air in the small living room, a refill is mandatory.
“Orange,” I mutter, squeezing past a girl with her legs wrapped around a tall guy in a jersey. Her dress is to the point of indecent hanging around her hips as they dance together—and by dance, I mean practically have sex in front of a group of easily a hundred people.