by Lauren Runow
It’s a horrific way to die. I don’t say this out loud. He knows that. It’s just so tragic and sad.
“He said he’d heard her saying there was a deer. My mom died because a fucking mammal had walked into the road, and her car slid off the side of a cliff.” He lifts his head, and I get a chance to gaze into those blue eyes I love so much. They’re glassy and rimmed with sorrow. “When Bryce called and said Austin had been in an accident, I thought it was happening all over again.”
I rub my hand over his, trying to steal his sadness and help heal him in some way. “Austin is okay. You won’t feel that pain again. Not today. That must have been pretty traumatic for you. And for your father, having been on the phone with her.”
Tanner grimaces. “I’ve never spoken to him about it. He never talks about my mother, even about her death.”
“Then, how do you—”
“Her police file. I took it from my dad’s office when I was sixteen. I was tired of having everyone talk about her death behind my back. I wanted the details. They wouldn’t give them to me, so I took them.”
“How detailed was the file?” I ask hesitantly.
“Graphic.” He closes his eyes for a moment and clenches his jaw. “Part of me wishes I’d never seen it. Mostly, I’m glad I did.”
“Why?”
“Because it makes me feel like I was there with her, and she wasn’t alone when she died.”
I lean over to kiss his lips, thanking him for letting me into his life. Now, I just hope I’m enough to help him with the next chapter of his life and the impossible decisions he has to make.
20
HARPER
“He has three offers. That’s tremendous in his field, but being top of his class would do that. Two of the companies are here in the city but one is in Stamford. That’s only a train ride away.”
Willa is telling me about Ryan’s internship opportunities for the spring. He’s getting his master’s degree in financial forecasting from Columbia and wise to line up some work while he’s in school to up his chances at a position when he gets his degree in May.
“The guys are so smart to take the five-year program. Is Tanner lining up anything for after graduation?” she asks from her seat in the teacher’s lounge.
I don’t bother telling her that Tanner isn’t getting his master’s. He’s only enrolled to bide his time. “He has a few things lined up. So, you and Ryan are dating now?” I grab a doughnut from the bag Willa is holding out to me. I love that she brings me food.
“We’ve been out about five times. I like him. We’ll see how it goes.”
She continues to tell me about their last date, which was to dinner and a movie. It’s so proper—the two of them following the traditional line of dating. A hook-up at the bar, a meetup with friends, and the required three dates before she went to bed with him.
It’s a far cry from my and Tanner’s relationship. It’s been a whirlwind, to say the least. In the time it’s taken Willa and Ryan to go on their three dates, Tanner and I have been virtually living together. We stay at his place most nights and make time for our friends at least three nights a week. I work; he goes to school. He cooks; I clean up. We paint, we read, and we make love.
Once the dust of Austin’s accident settled, we have been talking more about his family. Tanner is so self-assured, yet I don’t think he realizes just how much he seeks the validation of his brothers. He’s brilliant. I read some of his term papers and found the man to be far more than the creative I’d thought he was. His analysis is impeccable. He’s incredible with numbers, and he’s even taken finance classes for the hell of it.
I had him go over my finances, and he showed me a few places where I could better invest my money. He even suggested I look to reinvest the money from the sale of my apartment to a new place in Long Island City because the property value is on the rise.
It feels like an eternity ago that I was sitting on April’s couch, moping over the state of my life, when she forced me to get up and go out with her. How my life went from such a mess to the happiest I’ve ever been is amazing.
It’s all Tanner.
Speak of the devil …
My cell vibrates, and I hold a finger to Willa, asking her to pause as she talks about what she’s going to wear to her date with Ryan tonight. Tanner doesn’t usually call when I’m at work.
“Change of plans tonight,” he says. “My dad’s in town.”
I nearly fall out of my chair. “Your dad is here? In New York?”
“My stepmom is here, too.” His tone is a mixture of annoyed and perplexed.
“Did you know they were coming?”
“No.”
I let out a whistle at his clipped tone. “Are they here often?”
“To socialize, yes. Unannounced and wanting to have dinner with me? No.” I can picture him running a hand through his hair and the scruff of his jaw. “We have to be there at seven.”
I swallow down a bite of doughnut way too big for my throat. “We?”
“I’ll pick you up at six.”
“Six?” My voice cracks.
“I have a bottle of scotch I plan to drink first.”
I would think he was joking if it wasn’t for the serious tone.
We hang up, and I look up at Willa, who has her hands up as she does a wiggly dance in her chair.
“You’re meeting the parents!” Her excitement would be normal if this were any other relationship.
Unfortunately, I’m going to get my first taste of what the Sexton family is really like.
My leg is bouncing inside the Uber, and I’m gnawing at my lip as we pull up to a building on the Upper East Side. When Tanner gets out, he holds his hand out to escort me out of the backseat.
There are no restaurants in this strip of Park Avenue. It’s reserved for upscale apartment buildings and high-end shops.
“You said we were going to dinner,” I state.
He twists his lips and glances toward the building where we were dropped off. It’s a prewar building with polished gray granite entrance columns and peacock-decorated balconies.
“Is there a restaurant on the roof?” I ask incredulously.
He laughs and pulls me toward the main entrance where he’s greeted by a doorman, “Good evening, Mr. Sexton.”
I blink at the doorman and then whisper at Tanner, “How does he know your name?”
“Because I lived here for a few months when I first moved to Manhattan,” Tanner says after he thanks the doorman and leads us through a lobby, which is so elegant that I feel like I should take off my shoes to walk across the marble floor.
“You lived here?” I say a little too loudly.
He laughs at my surprise. “It’s my parents’ place. My mom bought it when she was looking to expand the company to the East Coast. She fell in love with the architecture. The building has great history, too. Rockefeller lived here.”
I nod my head like it’s completely normal for him to have lived in the former home of the Rockefellers.
“So, this is your parents’ place? And you lived here when you started Columbia?” My questions come out slower than normal speech as we get onto the elevator.
He hits the top button.
“It didn’t make sense to live in the dorms when we had a home in the city. At least, it was a home. Over the years, Missy has been redesigning it. She wants it to be more Carrie Bradshaw than Woody Allen. Apparently, she thinks my mom had terrible taste.”
“So, she threw everything out to redecorate?” I say in even more shock.
He nods. “I have it in storage at a place on the West Side Highway. You know, the one with the funny space-saving advertisements.”
I try not to dwell on the fact that my boyfriend is probably paying thousands of dollars a month to store his dead mother’s furniture. “Why did you move out?”
“I came here because it was my mom’s place, but Missy wiped every memory away. It just didn’t feel like home. Plus, I want
ed to paint, and Missy would have had a fit if I got paint on her ostrich-feather carpet.”
“Oh, yes, God forbid. I mean, because that’s something I would never want to get paint on.”
The elevator door open, and we’re in a small hallway. This building is big—really big—and yet there’s only one door on this floor.
“Is there something you haven’t told me?”
He tilts his head in question. “What do you mean?”
“Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about. This is one of the most sought-after places to live in the city.”
“I told you my family had money.”
When we first met, I thought Tanner was a working artist. I assumed the canvases around his apartment were his products, and he paid his rent on the sale of his artwork. After I learned he was still a student, I figured his family helped him pay the rent. I knew he wasn’t poor. I just thought he was like my family. Comfortable. This? This here is more than comfortable.
He levels his eyes to me. “Does this bother you?”
“Well, um, I mean, no. But …”
“Then, come on. We can’t keep good ole Dad waiting.”
He pulls me toward the front door, and my stomach turns more than I ever thought possible. I glance down at my shirt, tugging it lower and smoothing out the small wrinkle I see on the bottom.
The outfit I have on is cute—a crew-neck top with designer jeans and my nicest pair of knee-high boots. Tanner’s wearing jeans and a sweater, so I followed suit with what he was wearing. I’m not the type to question my appearance, yet here I am, wondering if it’s good enough.
What will they think of me? Will his stepmom snub me at first glance because of my outfit?
Why do I care?
He reaches in his pocket, taking out his keys and unlocking the door. It opens, revealing a foyer. A six-foot round table sits in the center of a room of marble with a bouquet of flowers that must be four feet tall and just as wide. A gigantic crystal chandelier hangs low above it.
“Tanner, is that you?” a woman calls out.
I pull on Tanner’s hand to keep him at the door. He wraps his arm around me and inches me forward.
“Yep. I’ve brought my girlfriend, too.”
“You brought your wh—” The woman stops mid-sentence when she turns the corner and lays eyes on me.
“Missy, I’d like you to meet my girlfriend, Harper Doyle. Is Dad here?”
Tanner told me Missy was around my age—a year younger actually. What I wasn’t expecting was for her to be so beautiful. White-blonde hair that looks polished as it sits in a sleek bun. Her hairline is a perfect line across her forehead, which is also pristine without a laugh line or blemish to be seen. She’s wearing a snow-white turtleneck and matching linen pants. She’s as polished as the floor we’re standing on.
She keeps her eyes trained on me as she makes her way to Tanner, holding out her arms and giving him a hug, which borderlines on inappropriate with her body smashed up against his. She gazes up at Tanner and places her hand on his cheek, the way I like to when we’re having our late-night talks.
“You grew again. In so many ways.” Her arms trail down to his biceps where she gives them a squeeze. “A mighty fine man you’ve become, Tanner Sexton. Mighty fine.”
Her words linger, and I already despise the way she’s staring at him. My thoughts are cut short by the sound of footsteps echoing on the cold tiles.
“Edward, dear, look who’s home.”
A tall man resembling the photo I’ve seen of Bryce on Tanner’s phone comes walking in. Graying dark hair on a tall frame. His skin is overly tan, and he has definitely had some work, but overall, he’s very handsome despite the stoic expression on his face. His eyes are cold, nowhere near the kindness I get from Tanner.
“Dad”—he reaches out his hand to shake his father’s—“I’d like you to meet Harper.”
Edward clears his throat. “Nice to meet you.” He shakes my hand, and it feels anything but sincere.
“You have a beautiful home, Mr. Sexton.” I feel like I should curtsy but glad I don’t follow through.
Missy turns to me. “Well, one more shouldn’t be too much of an inconvenience. I’ll see what I can do to salvage the evening.”
Missy turns out of the room, and I feel awful.
“This way.” Edward ushers us to follow him.
Tanner takes our coats and hangs them up in the front closet.
As we make our way down a hallway lined with photos of Missy, I whisper-yell at Tanner, “I thought they knew I was coming tonight.”
“They did. Missy’s just being a bitch.”
“Well, that’s fantastic.”
He kisses my hand. “Just don’t let her know she’s getting to you. It’s her power play. She’s intimidated by beautiful women.”
I try not to melt at his sweet comment because I’m actually really uncomfortable, being here in their more than comfortable home.
We enter a living room, and I have to remember to keep my eyes relaxed and mouth closed, or I’ll look like a deer in headlights. The room is larger than my apartment with moldings the size of my head and more chandeliers that make it look like a palace.
A man in a white coat is standing near a door that I can only assume leads to the kitchen.
Missy walks through the door and is wiping her hands together as if she got them dirty. I doubt it.
“I just spoke to the chef, and he will stretch the meal for four.”
“Chef?” I ask.
She gives me a smirk. “This New York weather is too much for me sometimes. I like my San Francisco fall nights. We bring in a chef when we’re in town, so I don’t have to go out to dinner in the cold.”
I have to bite my tongue to not laugh out loud. I know San Francisco doesn’t get snow like we do here, but we haven’t had any yet, and I was shocked at how nice it is out tonight.
She snaps her fingers at the man standing by the kitchen door. “Set another place for Haley.”
“Harper.” My word falls on deaf ears.
Another waiter appears out of nowhere, carrying a try of hors d’oeuvres. He tells me my options are caviar and crème fraiche tartlets, figs with bacon and chile, or lobster toasts with avocado. He calls me madam as he stands before me with his hand behind his back.
I’ve officially seen it all. I’m so far out of my league here that I’m not even in the stadium.
Edward stands behind an arm chair and looks uncomfortable.
Tanner is still holding my hand, so I’d venture to say that I’m doing okay. Tanner, on the other hand, is tense. I can tell from his posture that he’s on alert.
“So, how long have you been seeing each other?” Missy asks, looking down at our joined hands.
“A while.”
I’m happy with his vague answer.
“Tanner here hasn’t mentioned one word of you,” she speaks at me.
I know her words should sting, but I take Tanner’s advice and don’t show any falter in my emotion. She’s like the mean girls from school, saying anything to get under your skin. Good thing I grew up to be the teacher who knows their hurtful words mean more about them than myself.
“We’ve been enjoying our time alone. Getting to know one another,” Tanner says.
Missy laughs a mysterious laugh. “That’s sweet. Where did you and Hannah meet?”
“Harper and I met where most people in Manhattan meet. At a bar.”
“Do you go to Columbia, too?” she asks as the waiter returns with champagne. She takes one from the tray.
“I’m a fifth grade teacher.” I grab a glass myself.
“An older woman. Edward, isn’t that just perfect for our Tanner? Meeting a woman who’s forty—”
“Thirty,” I correct her and am annoyed with myself.
Missy grins. “You’re older than me.”
“What’s for dinner?” Tanner asks.
I’m thankful that Tanner has changed the subje
ct. He warned me about Missy, but I had no idea she could be like this.
“We’re having A5 Wagyu beef steaks, flown in from Japan. It’s very hard to get it here in the States.” She looks to her husband and holds out a hand, showcasing a massive diamond ring. “It’s divine as long as you can afford it.”
Now, I’m not even sure where the game is taking place. This woman has created her own league, and I’m sure she’s in it all on her own.
The waiter is back with a mountain of caviar.
Tanner passes on having some, and when Missy glances my way, I accept even though I really don’t like the tiny little eggs.
I put some on a spoon and am about to bring it up to my mouth when Tanner whispers in my ear, “Don’t worry. It’s actually not that bad. Here, put it on the toast.”
He hands me a piece and then puts my spoonful of caviar on top. He feeds me the bite, and I’m pleasantly surprised.
“How sweet to help your little girlfriend here eat caviar for the first time. Where do you find these gems?” Missy giggles.
“Dinner is served,” another man says from a room I didn’t see off to the side.
How many people did they hire for just the four of us tonight?
We enter the formal dining room, and I notice Edward stop Tanner at the entrance.
“We need to discuss the company tonight. You know that’s why we’re here.”
“Yes. After dinner,” Tanner says before he walks away to help me with my chair.
The carpet is so plush under the table that it’s hard to move the very big and very heavy chairs.
Missy and Edward take their seats at the far ends of the table, and Tanner sits directly across from me. I hate being so far away from him. Luckily, he has long legs. When I feel his foot tap on my shin, I stretch mine out, and our toes meet in the center of the table.
I smile brightly at him.
He winks with a grin and mouths the words, I love you.
Okay, maybe tonight won’t be so bad.
A salad is placed in front of me, and for a second, I question which fork I’m supposed to use. I’ve seen Pretty Woman. I know this. To make sure, I play with my napkin, laying it just right until Missy picks up her fork so that I can tell.