by Liz K. Lorde
Avery’s changed me. For the better, I think.
I’m still feeling the rage at full throttle, but I know how to channel it effectively. My mind is shifting into overdrive, working out the best way to proceed to ensure a peaceful outcome.
“You’re the bastard who ruined my woman. This is my bride!” Adam yelps, his voice cracking with crazed emotion.
I maintain my cautious eye contact, signaling to Adam to keep talking—and he does.
“She was to be my bride. She is my bride, She’s my rightful bride! But you…”
“Me.”
“Yes, you!” Adam shrieks with a window-shattering voice. “You ruined her. There’s no way I could ever make you pay for this.”
This is getting fucking old fucking fast. Even his monologue bores me.
But from the desperate look in Avery’s eyes, I do my best to figure out a way to settle this properly.
I want to keep myself from destroying this man, but it’s becoming very difficult.
Ruined her, my ass. When I’m inside Avery, we’re both whole.
“Why don’t you point that firearm away from Avery? If you’re going to kill me, you’d best do me first.”
Adam keeps the gun where it is.
“Because if she dies before I do,” I say carefully, “you don’t want to think about what’s going to happen to you.”
His hand trembles.
I’ve got him.
“You,” he sneers. “I had a contract with the military when you were in the service. It was one of the most lucrative defense contracts in the nation’s history—which is pretty fucking crazy when you think about it, isn’t it?”
Adam’s voice is getting both crazier and more arrogant as he monologues. I feel the anger shoot through me.
“You may think that we were just being cheap,” Adam continues, “that they were all just horrible accidents. Is that what you thought?”
I’m at a point where I’m not talking because I can’t. I’m paralyzed with anger. That might end up being very bad news for Adam.
“You’re a sick fucking bastard, just so you know,” I say flatly. “A war criminal too, from the sounds of things.”
Adam ignores me. “There’s nothing that happens that I don’t want to happen. It’s all up to me, but you’re not supposed to know that, and that’s another reason that you need to end right now. More importantly, I need to deliver justice for what you’ve done to my bride.”
“Fine,” I say trying not to speak through my teeth. “Like I said—you’d best shoot me first, then.”
Adam throws his head back and giggles at the ceiling like a crazed motherfucker.
Christ. Losing Avery really made this man snap.
Adam brings the gun down to his side.
“You’re not so tough or powerful now,” Adam taunts me, “Isn’t that right, you fucking Boy Scout?”
He moves the gun from one hand to the other, keeping it pointed down at the floor.
“You ambidextrous now?” I ask him.
“Oh, that’s a big word for simple mountain folk like yourself. I can kill you with whichever fucking hand I want. But before I do, I need to ask: do you feel the least bit bad for ruining Avery with your primitive brutishness?”
“Do you feel bad,” I ask, “for representing pure evil, pure malice? For disregarding human life so readily? For putting civilization in peril by creating mindless destruction and chaos, solely for the sake of profit?”
I watch the gun in Adam’s hand—it looks like he’s loosening his grip. I continue.
“Do you feel bad, Adam,” I say his name emphatically, “for the shitty fucking way you’ve acted, and continue to act, towards a woman who wants nothing to do with you?”
“Nothing happens that I don’t want to happen,” Adam says, looking shell-shocked. “I—I paid for her.”
“And she still doesn’t fucking want you. Never fucking will.”
Adam acts fast, so fast that even I can’t stop him.
He swings his arm around, pointing the firearm at Avery’s head―and pulling the trigger.
Avery
I squeeze my eyes shut and wait for fate to swing the axe.
I’ve been preparing to die this whole time, really. So many different times, in so many ways.
I’ll be in heaven soon.
Angels will take me…but they’ll take me away from Jack.
To me, that’s the saddest and most heart-wrenching pain I’ll have to endure.
He’s the last thing I think about when Adam pulls the trigger.
My only comfort is knowing that he’ll be the last thing I see.
In an instant, all my time with Jack flashes before my eyes. Every moment we spent together previews in front of me in one long, glorious moment. Time slows down and I have one last chance to experience what true love feels like.
We had a good run. It’s been short, but at least I finally experienced love before I died.
I think about Jack and how life had wounded him so badly. My death will just torture him further. But I’m helpless to stop it and so, I just let go and wait for a bullet to the head.
I wait…and wait some more. But nothing happens.
Adam’s cussing makes me open my eyes. He is messing with the trigger. It looks like his gun jammed. Karma has finally caught up with him.
How the tables of fucking fortune have turned.
It’s a sweet moment of karmic bliss when you know that everything has come full circle. Jack is going to get what he deserves at last.
The bad guys never win. I should’ve known that from fairy tales by now. The fact that I’m not going to die just yet makes me believe even more that I have a chance of being happy, of being with Jack.
I have barely a moment to react or even to breathe a sigh of relief before Jack jumps into action.
Jack unties me and removes the gag while Adam struggles with his faulty gun. I rub my wrists and suck in a deep breath of fresh air. Free at last. I still can’t quite believe that my life is not over. The taste of Jack’s maple syrup from the dishtowel is even still in my mouth.
I look up into Jack’s eyes and see that he’s relieved, too. For a moment he stares at me, checking to see that I’m alright.
It’s thanks to fate that I’ve been given a new lease on life. And I know Jack will handle the rest.
But at that moment, I see Adam getting up over Jack’s shoulder, poised for an attack.
“Jack, look out!” I yell.
But Jack is already turning on Adam before the words leave my lips. I didn’t even have to say anything. Jack has some kind of sixth sensory skill for detecting danger.
It’s extra useful for when I’m around, since I’m really fucking good at getting into it, or so it seems.
Jack’s face is red with fury and desire for revenge.
I would fucking hate to be Adam right now with no hope at all.
Jack catches Adam by the neck. There’s no contest between the two of them. Jack is so much bigger than Adam that it’s ridiculous to even compare.
He holds Adam by the neck and throws him against the wall where he begins to strangle the latter.
Is it wrong to say I find sick satisfaction from seeing the man who almost murdered me now in the grips of the man who saved my life?
In this moment, I realize that Jack will always protect me. He always has my back. And my front.
And some parts of me between my legs that are probably improper to be thinking of right now.
But at the same time, I came very close to death—I saw death tonight. And I know Jack is gonna to make Adam pay for that, sorely.
“L-let me go!” Adam says, choking on the words. “We can work something out. I’ve got money. You can have it. You can have anything you want. Just let me go!”
Jack is unfazed. All I see is a fiery rage in his eyes. He’s on a mission to kill and I’m not sure I oppose the idea.
He releases Adam, who falls limply to the floor. Jack
starts kicking him in the ribs over and over again.
Adam’s screams do nothing to make me empathize. I want him to suffer. He deserves everything he gets.
Jack pummels him to the ground and punches Adam’s face multiple times. Soon, he’s a bloodied, unrecognizable mess.
Now that I’m released from my bondage, I feel like I should do something. I should probably stop this horrible beating. Instead, I find that I actually want Jack to keep doing it.
God, I think it’s actually turning me on.
Adam betrayed me, his country, and, most of all, Jack. He’s the reason Jack suffered so much pain in his life and that makes me feel a certain sense of yearning to defend my man—the man who saved me.
Adam has the blood of many on his hands and to think… I came so close to marrying him. It makes me shudder.
It’s over. I see from the crumpled mess Adam has become on the floor that we have won. Yet, a part of me wants to see Adam suffer further. I want him to die.
Jack looks at me over his shoulder, his eyes giving me a silent question about whether he should go on. My humanity’s in question as I hold the keys to Adam’s life. With one nod, Jack will kill him. Am I willing to live with that?
To my horror and ultimate fascination, I actually want Adam dead. It gives me a sense of power and satisfaction to know that this scum of the earth will be gone soon. We’ll be doing the world a favor getting rid of him.
Jack looks at me, and finally, I say the words.
“Do it.”
He’s a danger to us if he lives. He’ll never give up trying to kill us. He’s fucking insane, and he’s hurt everyone here—even poor Buck.
Adam has hurt me so many times. Just a few minutes ago, he had a gun pressed to my skull and I was seconds away from death. If his weapon hadn’t malfunctioned, I’d be dead right now.
And so the sight of him getting what he deserves from the man I’m obsessed with—well, it feels pretty good.
I watch the scene as though I’m in a trance. Jack is letting loose on Adam and I feel an odd kind of appeal in knowing that the man who tried to hurt me so badly is finally facing Jack’s wrath.
I know the beating has to do with me, but I know Jack is also doing it for all the men whose lives were lost that day on the battlefield. Jack is a hero, but he doesn’t even know it because his mission went awry, all because of Adam.
Years of aggression are pouring forth from Jack. The evidence is on Adam’s bloodied face and body. But Jack has complete control over himself. He could stop any time he wants to.
He would stop, I know, even now if I only asked him to.
But I can’t say I want him to stop.
He needs this revenge. He deserves it. His men deserve it. Buck deserves it.
And so do I.
Jack
Blood is flying from Adam’s face.
He looks like a mutant, a corpse of his old self.
I’ve successfully made him pay for the sins of the past, but I can’t help pummeling him again.
It’s as if all those years of being isolated out here are finally making me come undone. Beneath my fist is the man who made all this happen. He killed my men. And he made me believe it was my fault.
By playing both sides of the deal, Adam is responsible not only for the deaths of my squad but of other squads as well—and innocent civilians to boot.
The enormity of that crime is too much for me to contemplate now. He’s betrayed an entire nation.
I’ve spent years out here trying to escape the pain of what I thought I did. This son of a bitch ended the lives of my comrades, and I plan to make him pay.
He groans in pain, mumbling words through his swollen mouth. I don’t want to hear any of it.
“Please. Help me. Take my money, take whatever you want. Just please let me go.”
“Shut up,” I say as my fist meets his face.
What’s worse is that he threatened Avery. The thought of him touching her fills me with rage. When it comes to her, my innocent flower, I’m not willing to risk anything. I could kill this guy for what he’s done.
It’s all about greed and money and power. Even his marriage to her was based on these poor foundations. Here is a man that lacks all conscience—a sociopath, a psycho, a killer.
Maybe he didn’t personally use the weapons but he was behind it all. Maybe he didn’t get the chance to rape Avery or to kill her but he would’ve done it in a second. Why should I show him mercy?
This weak excuse of a man is starting to piss me off with his grumbling and groaning. I have him on the verge of death. It’s no wonder he’s saying anything just to get me to spare his life.
His face is so marred and destroyed that he’ll never be the same. I know he’s close to death but I hold back.
I look to Avery, who’s cowering in the corner watching me, transfixed. This is a bad position to put her in. She’s not used to seeing a guy get the breath beaten out of him.
I want to kill Adam so badly, but I don’t want to kill in front of Avery. It might traumatize her for life.
The fact that I’m even able to hold back this much shows how Avery is getting into my heart. Never before have I thought about a woman before my own needs.
Never before have I considered someone else’s feelings like this. She’s got me hooked pretty good.
Somehow, I’ve changed in the short while that I’ve known Avery. I’m not the same man that I was before I met her. I’m not sure that getting revenge on Adam is worth losing her respect.
She found me out here in the wilderness, stumbled upon my cabin, and changed my life. I thought I was a lost cause, gone forever in the abyss of painful memories. Instead, Avery pulled me back from the edge. She pulled me back into life.
Adam continues to beg. “Please! Avery, say something to him! He’s out of control. Help me. For God sake, someone help me!” he screams incoherently.
As much as I don’t want to, I’m going to show this bastard mercy. The only reason I’m able to do so is for Avery’s sake. As much as it kills me to let him off the hook, it would be worse to show her that I can be this violent.
She’s pure and innocent. I want to keep it that way.
I let up on Adam and let him bleed out on the floor. He’ll probably die just trying to make his way back to civilization. It’s not like I’m going to help him out of here.
But at the same time, the thought of who Adam is crosses my mind once again. He’s a true criminal, a bad man.
If I don’t kill him now and I let him escape, he’ll probably come back for us. He might come back for Avery. That thought gives me all the ambition I need to get this deal done. He needs to die.
But still, I’m torn.
I look up at Avery and see her beautiful face staring at the scene. She doesn’t look frightened. She doesn’t look intimidated. Instead, I see a newfound sense of strength in her. She’s witnessing it all with bravery.
Who knows? Maybe the time with me has changed her, too. Maybe her moment in the wilderness has toughened her up a little bit. I don’t know.
“Avery, what do you want me to do? I can leave him like this and he has a chance of escaping, of living. Or one final punch and he could be dead. You decide,” I say to her.
To my surprise, she looks me dead in the eye and says, “Do it.”
I marvel for a second at the empowered woman she’s become. When she landed on my doorstep, she was a scared and tragic figure, running away from something. And somehow, someway, she’s found herself out here.
Nature has a way of doing that. It has a way of forcing you to reckon with yourself. Maybe Avery’s been reborn as this new powerful person, effortless in her beauty and competence.
I shrug and turn back to the bastard. The bastard who got my squad and lord knows how many others killed.
The bastard who tried to rape Avery.
The bastard who kicked my damned mutt of a dog.
The bastard who tried to kill the woman who, in eve
ry way that matters, is my wife.
I don’t use a gun. I don’t use a knife. I use my own bare hands to crack his neck and make sure Adam’s dead.
It’s over.
Avery
I look on as Jack does the final deed.
He uses his own bare hands to kill Adam.
Not one part of me is sad to see him go.
I know it has to be this way. It was either his life or ours.
I should feel traumatized and shaken, considering Adam had a gun to my head mere minutes ago. Instead, I feel a newfound sense of strength. I draw on this private reserve of wellness to witness the bloody scene before me.
I’m so glad Jack is here to do the dirty deed, and that the carnage of it is not up to me. I’m smaller than Jack and not as strong. If I had to kill that evil fucking sleazebag myself, I’d have to use the gun or a knife.
Jack just had to use sheer force of brute strength.
We’ve escaped Adam at last, and with him, the past can be buried.
I don’t look at Adam as the life drains from his eyes. I don’t need to care for anyone who never cared about me, either. The moment he stops breathing, I race outside.
Jack said that Buck was hurt. I need to find him.
Out on the porch, there’s a black, furry body. When I get closer, I can see Buck’s chest is rising and falling in slow, steady breaths—a good sign.
“Buck!” I call out, throwing myself down on Jack’s big, shaggy dog.
Buck perks his head up right away and licks my face.
“Boof!” he barks.
I think he’s happy to see me.
“Snow’s clearing up,” Jack says suddenly, kneeling down next to us. He rubs Buck’s shaggy head and receives some kisses, too—from me and the dog. “We’ll drive him into town soon, have the vet look at him. But knowing Buck…he’ll be fine.”
It’s a relief.
But the night’s not over yet.
Adam deserved to die. I know it’s true. But I don’t want Jack to get into trouble for killing him.
“Jack, we have to call the police. We’ll tell them what happened and that you acted in self-defense,” I say.
He grunts in agreement and passes me his cellphone. I make the call quickly.