Charade of the Heart

by Cathy Williams

  ‘Why not?’

  She looked at him dumbly, unable to articulate all the myriad reasons why she could no longer be content to be wanted.

  ‘Well, this is it, then.’ He got up and slowly began putting on his clothes and Beth watched in silence, afraid to say anything in case she broke down completely.

  Besides, there was nothing to say. This time it was final. In the morning she would leave for Cambridge and they would be free of each other. Except, lust was so much easier to surmount. He would recover from his so-called obsession with her in no time at all.

  Whereas she…what would she do? Get another job, while away her time decorating her flat and dating pathetic little shadows of him? No man could ever be his equal. She would spend the rest of her years playing an endless game of drawing comparisons.

  He began slipping on his shirt, then stopped and sat on the edge of the bed.

  ‘Of course,’ he said thoughtfully, ‘but no…’

  ‘“Of course but no” what?’ Beth asked dully.

  ‘Of course, we could get married.’

  There was a long pause and she eyed him warily from under her lashes.

  ‘Don’t tease, please,’ she whispered finally.

  ‘Who’s teasing? Believe me, I wouldn’t dream of proposing to anyone unless I meant it.’

  ‘You’re proposing to me?’ she said in a high voice.

  Marcos glanced around the room then his eyes resettled on her face. ‘Well, I don’t see anyone else in here, do you?’

  Beth didn’t know whether to laugh or to cry. Neither could express the profound happiness spilling inside of her.

  She sat up and flung her arms around his neck, settling for laughing, although her eyes were glistening.

  ‘Does that mean that you accept?’ he whispered, and she could hear the smile in his voice.

  ‘What do you think?’

  ‘Think?’ Marcos looked down at her strangely. ‘I lost the ability to do that competently when I’m with you a long time ago.’

  ‘Good.’ She pulled him down beside her and this time she undressed him, loving the feel of his skin under her fingers.

  ‘Of course, you know what this entails. No more Roger.’

  ‘But he’s just a friend, and a good one at that!’ she protested.

  ‘He might get ideas if he’s around you too much,’ Marcos grated possessively. ‘Maybe I can arrange a few more overseas projects for him.’

  ‘A few more?’ Beth raised one questioning eyebrow and he grinned.

  ‘I didn’t like him hovering in St Lucia. I think that was when it first hit home with me what you meant. I wanted you all to myself. When you had dinner with him, I spent the entire evening at my meeting over there brooding over what was going on. Whether you were holding hands over the aperitifs and staring romantically at each other over the main course.’

  ‘You did?’

  ‘I did, you little witch.’

  Beth giggled with delight. His words filled her with a glow of happiness. ‘Why didn’t you say?’

  Marcos shot her a rueful look. ‘And admit that all my single-mindedness, my conviction that marriage was not for me, that women were enjoyable but not strictly essential, was down the drain?’

  ‘You’re admitting it now,’ she pointed out logically.

  ‘I didn’t have much choice,’ he muttered. ‘Much as I hated it, I was forced to admit to myself that I was in love with you. Madly, blindly and infuriatingly in love with you.’

  ‘What will Angela think?’ she teased, nestling against him.

  She felt him shrug. ‘Oh, she’ll get over me. I wasn’t the first man she had slept with and I certainly won’t be the last. No, women like Angela aren’t easily crushed by an unsuccessful romance.’ He paused and then asked, ‘Were you jealous of her?’

  Beth nodded.

  ‘Say it!’ he commanded.

  ‘I was jealous of her,’ Beth obliged. ‘Desperately jealous. Every time I saw you together, something in me seemed to collapse.’

  ‘Good.’

  ‘You know, of course, that there can be no more Angelas.’

  Marcos laughed under his breath. ‘How could there be?’ he asked. ‘You’ve managed to trap me hook, line and sinker. You’re the only woman I’m capable of seeing.’

  She stroked his stomach and he sighed, covering her hand with his then running his fingers up her arm, trailing them delicately along her collarbone.

  Beth closed her eyes, arching back as he kissed the white column of her neck, nibbling her earlobe, enjoying her quick, uneven breathing.

  Her breasts pushed against his chest, the friction sending tiny shivers of desire through her.

  He lay back, and she slid on top of him and he caressed her breasts with his hands, raising his head slightly to lick them.

  Beth groaned. She wanted him; more, it felt, than she had ever wanted him before.

  Because now there were no more barriers between them. Before, not even the intensity of their passion could quell the sickening knowledge that she was deceiving him, albeit against her will.

  Now there was nothing to hide from him, and that seemed to liberate her, making her responses more abandoned than they had ever been.

  ‘Beth, darling,’ he whispered, pulling her down to him, kissing her on her lips, ‘I can’t hold on for much longer.’

  This time she controlled the final rhythm of their lovemaking until their bodies were fused into one and she lost all sense of space and reality.

  ‘My love,’ he whispered huskily, turning to face her, ‘I want to make you mine as soon as possible. No big white wedding. Something small, and preferably tomorrow.’

  ‘Tomorrow?’ she squeaked.

  ‘Or very soon after.’

  She looked at him thoughtfully and smiled. ‘Well,’ she said lazily, ‘I suppose it’s a good idea to be married quickly. After all, I’d like Laura to be there rather than miles away in a hospital about to give birth. Although, knowing my sister, she’s sure to guarantee that things don’t run that smoothly.’

  She lay against him and thought of how shocked her sister would be when they broke the news to her in the morning. Shocked and delighted. Laura could be thoughtless, but her heart was in the right place, and besides it would be a weight off her mind knowing that Beth was happy, that her impulsive idea had not been an emotional fiasco for her sister.

  She would sell her flat in Cambridge. The funny thing was that she had no regrets at the thought of doing so. Wasn’t home where the heart was? Cambridge had ceased being her home the minute she’d met Marcos and fallen in love with him.

  ‘You know,’ he was musing next to her, ‘I never thought Laura would have had the brazenness to concoct that plan of hers.’

  ‘You just didn’t know her. Believe me, if there’s one person in the world who can concoct a plan like that, it’s my sister!’

  ‘Well, I was away for quite a bit of the time that she worked for me. In fact, I barely noticed her there at all. She was efficient, she obeyed my instructions without demur.’ He chuckled and stroked her hair away from her face. In the darkness, her eyes met his and the breath caught in her throat as she glimpsed the tenderness in them.

  ‘I should have realised that something was wrong when I first met you. You argued about everything.’

  ‘Not everything!’

  ‘Well, put it this way, you weren’t backward at getting your point across, and it didn’t seem to bother you in the least that I was your boss.’

  ‘Should it have?’

  ‘Whatever happened to respect?’ He grinned with bemused admiration. ‘No, I should have put two and two together, and at least suspected that something was wrong. After all, I suddenly began postponing trips away because I actually wanted to be in that damned office with you. Me! A man who had happily roamed the world for years, loving the freedom of having no ties!’

  She pulled him towards her and kissed him firmly on the lips, and he stirred against her. />
  ‘Suddenly I found myself in a cage, and, worse, liking it!’

  ‘You have the key to your cage,’ she said quietly. ‘You can leave now if you like.’

  ‘Leave? You might as well tell me that I can fly to the moon, because I can no more leave than I can do that.’

  ‘Poor Marcos.’

  ‘You vixen,’ he said fiercely, his leg covering hers, his hand outlining the smooth curves of her body. ‘You’re dangerous. I could spend a lifetime telling you how dangerous, and not come close to describing it.’

  ‘No more talk,’ she murmured. ‘We have a lifetime together for that. Right now, let’s just enjoy the moment.’

  BETH LOOKED AT MARCOS across the breakfast-table and smiled. The past eight months had been good ones. They had married quietly and honeymooned in Australia, much to her mother’s delight.

  ‘You married, and Laura settled with a baby—what a shame I’m not around to interfere,’ she had joked.

  Marcos looked up, caught Beth’s glance and smiled back.

  ‘What a pity I have to go to work,’ he said softly, stirring her blood with the warmth of his gaze. Even now, one look from him still had the power to send her thoughts flying.

  She no longer worked with him, instead devoting herself to the luxury of completing her bookkeeping course, though some of the urgency behind it had been lost.

  Laura was amused by it, but not nearly as amused as Beth was by her sister’s decision not to return to work after the baby had been born. A bouncing boy who looked like a miniature clone of David.

  ‘It’s a pity,’ Beth agreed, ‘especially since you only have a limited time left with me.’

  ‘What?’ Marcos shot her a puzzled look, the dark eyebrows meeting in a frown.

  ‘I mean, you only have a limited time left with me as I am.’

  ‘Darling,’ he murmured, coming across to her, kissing her on her lips with infinite care. ‘I love you the way you are. There’s no need to contemplate plastic surgery. In fact, I forbid it.’

  He grinned and she giggled compulsively.

  ‘Isn’t it wonderful the way you laugh at my corny jokes?’ he teased, caressing her with his eyes. ‘It really must be love.’

  ‘Well,’ Beth said, sobering up, ‘this is no corny joke. You’re going to be a father.’

  Marcos smiled slowly and shook his head. ‘Already?’

  ‘You said often enough that now that the yoke was around you, you might as well enjoy it, offspring and all.’

  ‘So I did,’ Marcos murmured, his smile broader now. ‘Is that what you meant about no longer looking the same?’

  Beth nodded. ‘Expanding waistline is on the way,’ she said, patting her still flat stomach.

  ‘I’ve heard it said that pregnant women are very sexy.’

  ‘Have you, now,’ she joked.

  ‘Just so long as it’s my pregnant woman.’ He placed his hand over hers in a gesture that was so painfully tender that it brought a lump to her throat.

  ‘Are you happy?’ she whispered.

  ‘Happy?’ Marcos chuckled softly. ‘You gave me happiness when we met all that time ago, and you haven’t stopped. As for going to work…’

  He lifted her from the chair and she squealed in mock protestation.

  ‘I think,’ he murmured, ‘a little celebration is in order.’

  And it was.

  * * * * *

  ISBN: 978-1-4592-8453-1

  Charade of the Heart

  Copyright © 1992 by Cathy Williams

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