by Cassie Rocca
“I don’t want to just get him the usual chocolates, or some tacky card.” The girl began to wander round the stands full of overflowing hearts, cards with hearts on, dolls that held hearts, hearts in various sizes and textures, all strictly bright red. “I would like to give him something simple, something that’s not going to frighten him, but something that’s sweet enough for the occasion and original enough to elicit a smile.”
“Ok, let’s see.” Zoe followed her, scanning the merchandise.
“How about this?” Steffy asked, grabbing a key ring in the shape of the Statue of Liberty holding a sceptre in the shape of a heart. Zoe shook her head.
“Eric doesn’t particularly like key rings. He’s kept the same one he’s always had for years and apparently has no intention of changing it, even if he does actually need to.”
Now she thought about it, it had been her who had given it to him, shortly after his graduation.
“Oh, you mean the one of the Empire State Building? You’re right, it’s completely worn out.” Stephanie shook her head. “Maybe it holds some sentimental value for him. No key ring then. I don’t want to risk giving him something that he wouldn’t appreciate. Please help me! Put yourself in my shoes and tell me what I could possibly give him after being with him for such a short time.”
Put yourself in my shoes…
Zoe tried to imagine herself as ‘Eric’s girl’. She saw herself being surrounded by his attentiveness, constantly looking into those bluey-green eyes as they peered out over the upper edge of his glasses, being comforted by his gentle voice…
And close to that body that she had thought was almost scrawny but was actually strong and sexy, and…
“Here we go again!”
She shook the disturbing images that filled her head away and began to think seriously about what could possibly be a romantic but fun gift for someone like Eric. After a few minutes of looking around her, her eyes fell upon one of the many cuddly toys that she had put out on display that very morning: a teddy bear clad in pyjamas, wearing slippers and glasses. A small, hidden button, when pushed, made it play the chorus of Rod Stewart’s ‘Da Ya Think I’m Sexy ?’ while the bear gyrated his hips gently. Under the pyjamas, which were fastened by a zip, the bear was wearing a red shirt that said, ‘I like you. Do you like me?’
“I’d get him this,” she smiled, taking it off the stand. “It’s perfect for him.”
Stephanie pressed the button, chuckling to herself, then turned it off. “It’s really cute, just like him! And especially because – and this is just between me and you – beneath all that good-guy stuff, Eric is… well, wow!”
And judging by the twinkle in her eyes, Steffy was not just referring to Eric’s physical appearance. Zoe began to suspect that her friend might have several other cards up his sleeve of whose existence she was completely unaware.
Refusing categorically to imagine sleeping with him, she grabbed the bear and took it over to the counter. “I’ll wrap it up before he sees it.”
She had just finished tightening the red bow when Eric emerged from his office, rubbing his eyes under his glasses. Seeing Stephanie he paused, looking surprised.
“Hello. What are you doing here?”
“I just came by to say ‘hello’, as we’re not going to be seeing each other tonight.”
Zoe saw her approach him, rise up on tiptoe and kiss him on the lips. She looked away. “Just to let them have a bit of privacy,” she said to herself.
But the slight flutter in her stomach didn’t really convince her at all.
She busied herself filling the space left by the teddy bear on the stand, so that Eric wouldn’t notice it was missing, and waited for the two of them to say ‘goodbye’ to each other. Fortunately, Stephanie left without further ado, leaving her free to return to the counter.
“Tell me, Steffy had a romantic gift for me in her hand, didn’t she?” asked Eric, looking at her out of the corner of his eye.
“Don’t you want to get a present from your girlfriend?”
“We’ve only just started dating…”
Zoe dismissed his excuse with a shrug of her shoulders. “It’s nearly Valentine’s Day, it’s natural that she wants to get a gift for the person she’s sleeping with. Even if it’s still early days, I’m guessing both parties are interested in continuing this relationship. Or am I wrong?”
Eric froze. “Did she tell you that we…?”
“My dear, I don’t need anyone to explain certain things to me, I’m old enough to know the ways of the world,” joked Zoe, giving him a pat on his nose. “Anyway, your girlfriend looked really happy. So… well, bravo!”
Eric’s ears began to turn a slight shade of red. “You women really can’t help talking about these kind of things, can you?”
“You men are even worse. Drawing up charts of all your sexual conquests, giving women marks on their physical attributes as though they were horses for sale – and going into very specific details.”
“I don’t do that.”
Yeah, not him. Not the sweet, polite guy standing in front of her.
Zoe smiled, softening. “There should be more Eric Morgans in the world. If that were the case, I might even decide to keep one for myself,” she added, winking at him. She had deliberately said it jokingly, but she was taken aback by how heartfelt her words had sounded.
Was it possible that her feelings for Eric had changed so suddenly? Surely it couldn’t have been just the fact of seeing him naked that had this weird effect, could it?
“I suppose I should think about a present too,” he said, distracting her. “For Stephanie.”
“Tell me what would you like to give her and I’ll give you the benefit of my female insight.”
“I’ve no idea. What could a girl who has only been out with me a few times without us having anything approaching a serious conversation possibly want?”
“If you want something deeper with her than just a regular appointment between the sheets but you’re still not quite sure about how all of this is going to turn out, choose something classic. We women are quite easy to please – flowers, chocolates, a few sweet words and a bit of originality in the way you wrap the whole thing up and there you have it, we melt like snow in the sun.”
“A bit of originality in the way I wrap the whole thing up…” murmured Eric thoughtfully. Then he nodded. “I’ll think about it.”
I don’t care, I don’t care…
Zoe repeated the words to herself as she stared at the shop window without even really seeing it.
But it did bother her – it bothered her plenty.
Giving romantic advice to men, advice that they would then use on other women, was really depressing.
*
Something classic, wrapped up in an original way…
Eric kept mulling over those words and wondering what exactly he should do.
Every year on Valentine’s Day, completely anonymously, he gave Zoe a small present, and every year, without fail, his gift ended up in the pile of flowers, cards and chocolates that Zoe received from her many admirers.
He knew he couldn’t really expect otherwise, given the situation. It was cowardly of him, but he deliberately chose that day to give her a little sign of his love, aware that it would pass almost unnoticed. The first few years, Zoe had been intrigued by the nameless little packet that was amongst the others, but then she had gradually got used to its silent presence.
Just as she had got used to him.
But Eric didn’t want to pass unnoticed, or to be just something she was used to. It was time to change their relationship.
He had noticed a subtle change in the way Zoe had been behaving since he had posed for that stupid calendar. Maybe it was just his impression, but she seemed a bit less relaxed in his company, almost as though she felt uncomfortable. There was still camaraderie and affection, of course, but sometimes the strange light he glimpsed in those curiously beautiful cat’s eyes of hers surprised
him, and the idea that there could be something between them that wasn’t just friendship made him tremble like a kid in front of a candy store.
He would never just be able to declare the feelings he had been hiding for years out of the blue like that. He needed a gimmick to help him do it, and a Valentine’s gift that was sweet, romantic and original could be a good way to start.
He glanced at Zoe, leaning against the counter looking thoughtful. She looked more and more beautiful every day. Those delicate features, her slightly almond-shaped eyes, her porcelain skin… Nature had really created a work of art when it had sculpted her face, never mind the rest of her!
With those tight jeans, her red v-necked sweater and her hair pulled back to reveal the long white curve of her neck, she was irresistible. Her slender fingers fiddled with a heart-shaped pendant that he himself had given her, in secret, one Valentine’s Day in the past, and it drew his eye to her pert, firm breasts which were highlighted by the fabric of her sweater. Over the last few days she had relinquished the role of stiletto wearing man-eater, but that didn’t mean she was any less sexy. Her sensuality was innate, like a second skin. It was still there even when she was wearing pyjamas.
It was inconceivable to him to think of her being single. None of the guys who had been lucky enough to get her attention had understood a damn thing – that was obvious from the ease with which they had let her slip away.
Some customers came into the shop, disturbing them both from their silent reflections. Eric was about to assist the newcomers when, out of the corner of his eye, he saw Zoe stiffen at the sight of a guy in a suit approaching the counter. Intrigued, he stayed where he was.
“Zoe? Is that you?” exclaimed the man, sounding surprised.
“Stuart,” she replied, her face expressionless.
Eric pulled himself up to his full six feet, every nerve in his body at the ready.
It was Stuart Harris, Zoe’s ex-boyfriend. That bastard, the one who had betrayed her in the worst possible way and the only one she had really suffered over, was rapidly walking towards them. He had only seen Stuart briefly a couple of times four years earlier. Not enough to remember that stupid face of his. Dark hair, blue eyes, and an intense look about him. He wasn’t a gym bunny but he was tall and elegant – a fairly ordinary type who somehow had managed to conquer Zoe’s heart like nobody else.
He had hated him then and he hated him now.
“What a surprise. I knew you had changed jobs, but I didn’t expect to see you here,” said Stuart with a smile as he leant on the counter like an old friend.
What a nerve!
“Me neither,” Zoe said, folding her arms over her chest. Eric saw Stuart slyly glance at Zoe’s breasts, which were now emphasised by her posture, and felt a sudden, almost physical, desire to break his nose.
“Oh Zoe, you still have that wild temper I remember so well,” he chuckled, shaking his head.
“What do you want, Stu?”
“I saw you through the shop window and came in to say ‘hello’.”
Stuart looked at her almost tenderly, but Eric didn’t believe a word of it, not even for a moment. “I know you’ll find it hard to believe, but I am really pleased to see you.”
“Well yeah, actually, I do find it pretty hard to believe,” sighed Zoe as she he stepped back. “Thanks for coming in to say ‘hello’, but, as you can see, I’m busy.”
“Why don’t we get together one of these nights?” said Stuart with a serious expression. “I would really like to have a chat with you.”
Zoe pulled an incredulous face. “Are you kidding me? Why would I want to talk to you?”
“There was something very strong between us, don’t you remember? We were together for two years.”
“Of course I remember, just like I remember how you went to bed with Miranda!” she snapped, shaking her head. “You are disgusting, coming in here and asking me out like nothing ever happened.”
“You never let me explain what really happened,” he protested, walking round the counter when he saw her moving away. “Even if you’re not in love with me any more, just let me explain so at least you have one good thing to remember about what there was between us.”
“Explain? Explain what? You had been screwing my best friend for a month when I found out. She told me everything.”
“Miranda was envious of you. She told you a pack of lies.”
Eric saw Zoe’s eyes darken and she looked distant and confused. He felt himself starting to panic.
She wasn’t going to fall for all that nonsense, right?
He stepped forward and took her hand, intending to comfort her with his presence. He felt her relax instantly and cling to his side. He was ready to do anything to stop that idiot from messing with her head any more.
Stuart noticed the gesture and raised his eyebrows.
“Are you two together?” he asked cautiously.
Eric didn’t answer. Zoe gave him a quick glance before turning her eyes back upon her former boyfriend.
“That’s none of your business.”
“Look, I’m in town for work and I’m going to be staying here locally for a while, Zoe,” said Stuart, adjusting his jacket. “It doesn’t matter whether you’re seeing someone or not, I’d still like to talk to you about what happened and try and clear things up once and for all. I don’t want you to think ill of me, I have really happy memories of the two years we spent together.”
He looked at them both, pausing for a moment to look at Eric, then moved to leave.
“Think about it. I’ll be in touch.”
When he left the store, Zoe fell back against Eric’s chest, her fingers still intertwined with his. Eric put his arm around her, resting his chin on her soft hair.
“You’re not actually going to believe all that nonsense, are you?” he murmured, terrified at the thought. He had watched her put up with Stuart Harris’s ridiculous behavior rather than lose his ‘love’ so many times while they had been together. The guy had always had a powerful influence over her – was it possible that he still did, even all these years after they had split up?
“Of course not,” said Zoe with a sigh. “But seeing him has shaken me up all the same. He had the exact same look in his eyes that he had all those years ago, that look that always confused me.”
“Yeah, and he had the same idea in his head while he was staring at your tits too,” mumbled Eric, squeezing her hand tightly.
Zoe giggled. “Why do you think that no guy ever looks me in the eye when he’s talking to me?”
“Try wearing a sack if you want them to look at your face. But it’ll need to go right down to your feet and be wide enough to hide all your curves – and I’m still not sure you’d get the desired effect.”
“You’re sweet,” murmured Zoe, giving him a hug. “Do you think I’ll ever find someone who wants me for more than my looks?”
You’ve already found him, thought Eric. But he kept the thought to himself, merely planting a kiss on her forehead. “I’m going to serve those customers. If you need me, give me a shout.”
Turning away, his only thought was that he had to somehow do something about this situation between them as soon as possible. But first, there was another prickly issue that he needed to sort out… He felt a pang of guilt as he realized that he had been thinking about how to win Zoe over without worrying in the slightest about Stephanie and what she felt for him.
He was a lowlife. He had taken advantage of that girl’s sweetness to try – completely pointlessly – to drive Zoe from his mind, and now he had no idea what to do or how to behave.
But he couldn’t be with Steffy if he didn’t love her, no woman deserved that. Better to end the affair immediately before the girl got strange ideas. He would tell her the truth – being honest was better than giving her some feeble excuse, of that he was sure.
*
He felt a bit less sure of himself later that evening when he found himself at the door of Stephanie�
��s small apartment in Little Italy. How could he tell one girl that he was madly in love with another? Would Steffy, like all his other exes, understand right away who the woman in question was? Would she make a scene or just burst into tears?
God, he never knew how to behave in front of a woman in tears. He preferred being yelled at, or something thrown at him…
When he got to the fourth floor of the brightly-colored building he paused in front of the door. Now that he came to think of it, he wasn’t that crazy about the idea of being hit in the head by some blunt flying object either.
Stephanie opened the door wrapped in a pink towel, her hair wet from the shower. “Eric, hello!” She smiled, surprised to see him. She stood aside to let him pass and bit her lower lip as he noticed what a mess the room was. “Erm, I’m sorry about this, but I was in the process of getting ready for this evening and wasn’t expecting anyone…”
“Don’t worry. It should be me apologizing, I’m the one turning up here without warning,” Eric sighed, feeling increasingly more uncomfortable.
“Is something wrong?” she asked, staring at him.
Eric looked up at her, his face serious and sad.
“I need to talk to you and I’m sorry to have to do it at the start of what should be a fun night out, but I can’t wait any longer. It wouldn’t be right.”
Alarmed, Steffy took a step backwards.
“Maybe it would be better if I put some clothes on,” she said in a quiet voice, before rushing off into the bathroom.
Left alone, Eric looked around him. He had been in her apartment before, of course, and thought it was it lovely – small but cheerful, just like its owner. The vanilla colored walls and exposed brickwork gave it an air of intimacy and individuality, and the brightly colored furniture gave it a fun atmosphere. In another universe – one where Zoe didn’t exist – Eric would have taken real pleasure in spending his time somewhere like this with a girl like Stephanie. The few days he had spent with her had been nice… but there was no point continuing to lead her – and himself – on. As adorable as Steffy was, he’d just go on comparing her to Zoe and now it was more certain than ever that he could not break free from that obsession.