by Cassie Rocca
“Bonsoir, mon ami!” He raised his eyebrows at the sound of Clover’s cheerful voice. “You didn’t call me, you bum! You promised to tell me exactly what happened last night but you didn’t – you’re not a man of your word!” she chuckled. “I hope this means, like Cade says, that you and Zoe have been involved in something so interesting that it’s made you forget about everything else. You’ve certainly got to make up for lost time! Anyway, call me when you can, otherwise I will get Zoe to tell me all the juicy details!”
More annoyed than ever, Eric grabbed the phone. “Great idea! Call Zoe so she can tell you what happened!”
“Eric! I didn’t think you were at home…” Clover seemed puzzled by his tone of voice. “Are you okay?”
“No, I’m not okay. And you know what? It’s partly your fault!” snapped Eric, gripping the receiver. “You and your stupid romantic ideas and your sentimental assumptions, you brainwashed me! You stopped me from giving up on Zoe, you kept telling me that there was hope – well there wasn’t any, and you didn’t understand shit!”
“But…”
“I ended up looking more pathetic and more ridiculous than I ever have in my life, Clover. Zoe doesn’t want a guy like me, I’ve thrown ten years down the toilet. But you’re not the only one who’s to blame. Only a loser like me could have believed the words of someone as optimistic as you and hung on to a stupid dream all this time. I should have gone back to Boston a long time ago, but it’s not too late for me to go and end it here. And I hope I never have to see any of you again!”
He hung up, breathless from anger. He already felt guilty for having blasted poor Clover with his despair, but he hadn’t been able to help himself.
Angrily, he unplugged the telephone and lay back on the bed, staring at the ceiling.
It was time for him to turn the page and start behaving like a man, but ten years of crumbled hopes were a lot to digest in a single day, so he decided to wallow in self-pity until he felt completely empty.
*
Clover stared at the phone despondently. Eric’s furious words had surprised and confused her, leaving her with an unpleasant feeling.
“Something wrong?” asked Cade, coming into the bedroom.
Clover broke away from the window, which gave onto an incredible view of the illuminated Eiffel Tower, and gave him a sad look. “I don’t know… Eric was furious!”
“Things didn’t go the way you expected?”
“This can’t be right!” Clover sat down on the big double bed, wringing her hands. “I was sure it would work between them.”
“Did he tell you what happened?”
“No. But he said he never wants to see any of us again.”
Cade sat down beside her, stroking her back. “Wait until he’s calmed down, maybe then he’ll tell you what went wrong.”
“If Zoe has screwed it all up because of that idiot of an ex of hers, I’ll never forgive her!” Clover muttered, crossing her arms over her chest.
“You think she’s still in love with Stuart?”
“Of course she isn’t! She’s in love with Eric, she just hasn’t realized it yet! And she will regret bitterly disappointing him, if that’s what she’s done, because she will never find a guy who’s better suited to her!” Her eyes flashing in the dim room, Clover stood up. “I’m going to call her and give her a piece of my mind.”
Smiling tenderly, Cade grabbed her hand and pulled her back down onto the bed. “Honey, leave it. They’re big enough to look after themselves.”
“But I was sure that it would have worked out for Eric, I talked him into telling her everything and now he hates me!”
“Knowing him, he’s probably already regretting what he said.” Cade massaged her neck, forcing her to look at him. “You were sweet to try to help him, you’re a good friend and he knows that. It was time he faced up to the situation. And if things didn’t work out, well, he’ll get used to it.”
“He wants to move to Boston so he doesn’t have to see her any more.” Clover let Cade’s fingers calm her, but her eyes were sad. “That’s why I have to talk to Zoe. I want to know why she is throwing away her best chance to be happy.”
“Maybe she’s afraid. We were too, do you remember?”
Clover thought back to the two weeks when she and Cade had been separated, thinking that it was all over between them, and sighed.
“Do you think that they’ll be as quick as we were at realizing they’re made for each other?”
“If they love each other as much as we do, they won’t hold out for long,” said Cade, kissing her on the tip of her nose. “Now let’s enjoy our last hours in Paris, all right? You can tackle the problem when we get back to New York.”
“I think I need something sweet,” muttered Clover, hiding her face in his neck.
“You mean sweeter than me?” smiled Cade.
“Yeah, you are pretty sweet. Maybe if you were coated in chocolate…”
Clover’s mischievous look earned her a long kiss, then Cade pulled her to her feet. “Let’s go. Zack recommended a few pâtisseries that do the best chocolate, and those macaroons that you like so much.”
“I love that guy!” sighed Clover, dreamily.
Cade lifted her up and slung her over his shoulder, with her head hanging down towards the floor, making her scream.
“Come on, I was joking!”
“Too late, I’m carrying you through the hall upside down. And if there’s a photographer out there, you can say goodbye to that sweet ickle fairy image the journalists invented for you!”
Clover laughed heartily. “I don’t care about my reputation. But you’ll look like a caveman!”
“I’ll be fine.”
When Cade opened the door and started off down the corridor, Clover stared up at him. “Are you really going to go through with this?!”
“Sure. You’re going to need to find a very convincing reason for persuading me not to carry you out of the hotel like this.”
“The blood’s going to my brain. Is that convincing enough?”
“Afraid not.”
“What if I promise to keep you up all night…?” she said in a seductive voice, stroking his back sensually.
Cade gave her a pat on the butt. “I’d already planned on that.”
“I could always refuse to participate.”
In response, he touched her leg with a finger which he ran all along its length to the hem of the woollen dress she was wearing. He chuckled when he felt her shudder and pressed the elevator call button.
Once inside, Clover spoke again. “And what if I promise you never to say another word to Zack?”
“Now there’s an idea I like.”
Amused, Clover shook her head, making her long red hair wave. “No, I’m sorry… I just couldn’t do that!”
“There are seven floors left, you better decide your destiny pretty fast.”
“Oh God, Cade! How can you be jealous of Zack? Ok, he’s handsome, but since I met you I’ve become immune to other men, and you know it!”
“Hmm… And why do you think that is?”
“Because I love you, sweet cheeks. What else?”
Cade set her back down on the ground and put his hands on her hips.
“Correct answer,” he murmured, his eyes full of love, before kissing her.
Chapter 13
She was on the verge of exploding. Her confusion after having sex with Eric had turned slowly into anxiety and then into panic before finally settling on sadness. And after the sadness, inevitably, had come the anger.
Forty-eight hours of silence. She had never waited so long for a phone call from a guy in her life.
She did not know what to think. Eric wasn’t answering her phone calls, or those of Liberty; his flat seemed to be empty, at least judging by the fact that nobody opened up to her insistent knocking, and no one had heard from him for the last two days.
What the hell was going through his head? Why this sudden disappearance, and why the resignation?
Could it be that he was so stupid and shy that he couldn’t face showing himself? Or was there another reason? Why couldn’t they resolve things like a couple of mature adults?
She was on the verge of actually contacting Eric’s mother in Boston when the shop door opened and Clover, who had returned from Paris, walked in. Zoe saw the wary expression on her face and did not waste any time.
“You’ve heard, then?”
“About Eric, you mean?”
“He quit, did you know?”
Clover’s eyes widened, and she banged her palms down on the countertop.
“Would you mind telling me what the hell you did to him?!”
“Me? Me?!” shouted Zoe, attracting the stares of a couple of customers. Livid with anger, she lowered her voice. “First, that idiot takes me to bed and then he disappears for two days without a single word, and it’s all my fault? All those unasked for put-downs of my awful exes, and then he behaves worse than all of them put together! If I catch sight of him, I’ll murder him myself!”
“He took you to bed?” Clover blinked. “So you didn’t just crack up laughing when you turned up at the restaurant and saw him, then?”
Zoe frowned in confusion.
“The restaurant? What are you talking about?”
Clover hesitated. “Wait a minute, would you mind just telling me exactly what the hell happened? Maybe it’s the jet lag, but I’m not understanding anything.”
“On the evening of Valentine’s Day I was in a mess. A small part of me wanted to accept Stuart’s invitation to dinner, hoping – mistakenly, I know – that maybe we could give it another try. But in my heart I knew that I would never be able to forget what he’d done, just like I knew that what I felt for him wasn’t really love. So I turned down his invitation, told him not to call me any more, and I got ready to go out to the River Café, but… well, I just felt really stupid spending the most romantic night of the year with a complete stranger who I might not even like at all. And after wandering around aimlessly for a while, I found myself getting a cab over to Eric’s,” said Zoe, her arms crossed in front of her chest. “But when I got there, he was angry and drunk. I thought maybe he was sad because of Stephanie, but he wouldn’t tell me anything. I tried to comfort him… There was the storm, and the lights went off, and one thing led to another and we ended up having sex.”
“So you didn’t go to the restaurant, then…”
“No, but what’s that got to do with it?”
“And what about the morning after it happened?”
“I left before he woke up,” said Zoe, biting her lower lip. “It all seemed so crazy! We were friends, and then suddenly we were lovers… I thought I’d better clear my head before I faced it all. I left him a note telling him that I was going home to change and that we’d meet here. But he never turned up, and at two in the afternoon his resignation came by fax!”
Clover seemed dazed. “I don’t get it.”
“Oh, me neither, believe me! It’s been two days and there’s been no trace of him, he’s not answering the phone and it looks like there’s no one at home. I’m planning to call his mother to see if he’s in Boston, but I don’t want to scare her for no good reason.”
“I spoke to him,” sighed Clover, her elbows on the counter and her face in her hands. “He was so pissed! He says he never wants to see us again.”
Zoe felt her stomach drop. “But why?”
“I don’t know! I thought you must have reacted badly to the thing with the restaurant and that you’d turned him down, but now that you’ve told me how things actually went I do not know what to think.”
“Clover, what the hell has the restaurant got to do with it?!”
“Oh God, you’re slow on the uptake sometimes!” Clover raised her eyes to the heavens and then looked her in the face. “Eric was the mystery man!”
“What?” said a stunned Zoe. For a moment she couldn’t seem to grasp the concept, but then the reality of the situation collapsed in on her.
It had been Eric who had sent those tickets? And the gifts, the balloons and the roses… He was the man who she was supposed to meet at the River Café?
“Is this a joke?” she asked, her voice trembling and her heart thudding dully in her breast.
“Damn it, Zoe, Eric has been in love with you for ten years! How the hell could you not realize?!”
“And how do you know?”
“I noticed a long time ago, and I asked him and he admitted it to me. But he made me promise not to tell anyone – he didn’t want you to know.”
“Why?!” she blurted out in frustration. She could feel the anger returning.
“Because he was sure he didn’t have a chance with you and he didn’t want to ruin your friendship. He always said that if he’d confessed everything and you’d turned him down, he would be forced to leave New York and move back to Boston to get over it. That’s why I though you must have said ‘no’! He was so angry. From the way he spoke, I thought you’d humiliated him!”
“I didn’t do anything!” Zoe cried, her voice breaking. “I mean, apart from standing him up at the River Café, but I didn’t know that it was him who was waiting for me… and anyway, I still was with him at the end of the day!” She ran a hand through her untidy hair in an attempt to calm herself down, then ran into Eric’s office and closed the door.
How could she never have noticed anything? And why hadn’t he spoken to her about his feelings? Or taken the opportunity to when she had kissed him in Times Square on New Year’s Eve?
Suddenly, all the presents that Eric had delivered to her anonymously over the last few days made perfect sense: the Red Velvet, as well as being her favorite dessert, was the first thing they had eaten together at the university cafeteria; the plush hamster looked like the one she had given him for his twenty-third birthday; the pendant was a reference to the star that Eric had bought for her online in honor of her move to New York…
Nine red roses, plus one – ten roses, one for each of the years they had known each other…
They were all perfectly obvious to her now, each with a special meaning that only she could understand.
How could she have been so stupid? And what about him? How had he managed to hide it so well for all these years?
They had wasted so much time…
But why the hell was Eric so angry now? What could possibly have made him react like that? She had left him with a satisfied smile on his face, dammit, and now he didn’t want to see her ever again…
She thought of all the years they had spent together, tried to look at every situation through different eyes, and soon the tears were flowing down her face.
She must have made him suffer so much, she realized. All those times when she’d told him about her flings, the two years with Stuart, those dinners for Valentine’s Day, Christmas and New Year when she had forced him to play the part of her boyfriend! Eric had always put up with it all in silence, while she took advantage of his kindness, mistaking it for friendship…
While she had been desperately searching for someone to love her, she hadn’t noticed that he’d been by her side the whole time…
Clover and Liberty joined her shortly afterwards.
“How can we help?” asked Liberty, sitting down next to her.
“I don’t know,” said Zoe, shaking her head disconsolately. “I feel so sad and bitter about what I’ve just discovered and about all the time that we’ve wasted. And I’m mad at him! He can’t just walk away like this, for no reason, after all we’ve been through together.”
“We must be missing something. It can’t just be because of the note you left him,” said Clover, thinking aloud. “Did you make it sound like you regretted it?”
“No! What I wrote might have sounded shocked, but it certainly wasn’t regretful.”
“What do you feel for him?” her friend asked her, straight out.
Zoe turned her grey eyes to her. “I need him, that’s all you need to know. I can’t
face analyzing my feelings right now, not in this mood. But before he disappeared I really had realized how important Eric is to me, and I wanted to talk to him about it.”
“So did you tell him?”
“How could I, if he won’t answer the phone?”
“You could leave him a voicemail message”
“No way, I want to tell him right to his face.” Zoe got up from her chair and wiped her eyes. “If he’s such a coward that he doesn’t want to face me then he’s not the man I thought he was. Tell him that, when you call him!”
Zoe left the room and Liberty and Clover stared at one another helplessly.
“What do we do now?” sighed Clover.
“If those two don’t get this issue sorted out quickly I’m going to fire the pair of them,” muttered Liberty, tugging at the hem of her elegant skirt.
“We have to find a way to get them talking. They are meant to be together, and he has waited so long, damn! It can’t end like this, not now that it was just about to actually begin for real!”
“I think that they should sort it out themselves. If Eric really wants her then it’s time for him to man up. He’s not an insecure little boy any more, and I really don’t feel like making excuses for his behavior.”
Clover was walking back and forth across the office, tapping her lips with a finger. “He never gave up, not even when she momentarily lost her head over that idiot Harris. He might be angry right now for some reason, but he’ll come back, I can feel it.”
The more pessimistic Liberty shook her head. “Weak men can be really stupid sometimes. Their self-esteem is more important than anything else and walking over other people’s hearts doesn’t mean much to them. Maybe they don’t even realize it, because they’re so focused on themselves.”
Her friend’s bitter tone made Clover curious, and she interrupted her pacing to look at her.
“Are you sure that everything’s ok between you and Justin?”
Liberty frowned. “Yes – why?”
“I don’t know, you’ve been sounding pretty bitter when you talk about men lately.”
“Justin has his head screwed on, and he’s serious and responsible. He doesn’t have any weaknesses and he knows what he wants. I really can’t complain.”