by Sue Grafton
“How’d you get in?”
“Well, the window on the driver’s side was open a crack. I had a wire in my car and popped the lock up with that. I could see he’s in trouble. He looked awful, his eyes open, muck in the corners of his mouth.”
“Was he still alive at that point?”
“I’m pretty sure he was gone, but I did what I could. I tell you my hands were shaking so bad, I couldn’t make ‘em do right. I nearly busted the window and would have if I hadn’t managed to snag the lock when I did. I hauled him down out of the truck onto the side of the road and did CPR right there. I couldn’t pick up a heartbeat. His skin was cool to the touch, or at least it seemed like that to me. It was freezing outside and even with the heater turned on, temperature inside the truck had dropped. You know how it does. I radioed for help….got an ambulance out there as fast as I could, but there was nothing for it. Doc in ER declared him dead on arrival.”
“You think he knew what was happening and pulled over to the side?”
“That’d be my guess. He must have had some kind of chest pain, maybe shortness of breath.”
“Did you happen to see Tom’s notebook? Black leather, about this big?”
He thought back for a moment, shaking his head slowly. “No ma’am. I don’t believe so. Of course, I wasn’t looking for it. It was in his truck for sure?”
“Well, no, but Selma says he kept it with him and it hasn’t turned up yet. I thought maybe you spotted it and turned it into the department.”
“I’da probably done that if I’d seen it. I wouldn’t want my notes circulating. A lot of it looks like gibberish, but you need ‘em when you type up your reports and if you’re called on to testify in court. Wasn’t among his personal items? The coroner’s office would’ve returned all his clothes and anything he had on him. You know, his watch, contents of his pockets, and like that.”
“I asked Selma the same thing and she hasn’t seen it. Anyway, we’ll keep looking. I appreciate your time. If anything comes to mind, you can reach me through her.”
“I can’t imagine there’s anything to investigate about him. You couldn’t meet a nicer fellow. He’s the best. A good man and a good cop.”
“So I gather.”
I went back to the motel. I couldn’t face another minute of sitting in Tom’s den. For all we knew, Tom might have been suffering from a chemical depression. We’d been assuming his problem was situational, but it might not have been. My problem was situational. I was homesick and wanted out.
I let myself into the cabin, noting with approval that the room had been done up. The bed was made and the bathroom had been scrubbed, the toilet paper left with a point folded in the first sheet. I sat down at the table and rolled a piece of paper in my Smith-Corona. I began to type out an account of the last day’s activities. Selma Newquist was just going to have to make her peace with Tom’s passing. Death always leaves unfinished business in its wake, mysteries beyond fathoming, countless unanswered questions amid the detritus of life. All the stories are forgotten, the memories lost. Hire anyone you want and you’re still never going to find out what a human being is made of. I could sit here and type ‘til I was blue in the face. Tom Newquist was gone and I suspected no one would ever know what his final moments had been.
Chapter 6
*
I found myself that night in a place called Tiny’s Tavern, one of those shit-kicking bars so many small towns seem to spawn. Cecilia had indicated this was a popular hangout for off-duty law enforcement and I was there trolling as much as anything. I was also avoiding the cabin, with its frigid inside temperatures and depressive lighting. Tiny’s had rough plank walls, sawdust on the floor, and a bar with a brass footrail that stretched the length of the room. As in an old Western saloon, there was a long mirror behind the bar with a glittering double image of all the liquor bottles on display. The place was gray with cigarette smoke. The air was overheated and smelled of spilled beer, faulty plumbing, failed deodorant, and cheap cologne. The jukebox was gaudy green and yellow with tubes of bubbles running up the sides and stocked with a strange mix of gospel tunes interspersed with country music, the latter dominant. Occasionally, a couple would clomp around mechanically on the ten-by-ten dance floor while the other patrons looked on, calling out encouragement in terms I thought rude.
I wasn’t sure about the unspoken assumptions in a place like this. A woman alone might look like an easy mark for any guy on the loose. For a week night, there seemed to be a fair number of unattached fellows in the place, but after an hour on the premises no one seemed to take any particular notice of me. So much for my fantasy of being accosted by cads. I perched on a bar stool, sipping bad beer and shelling peanuts from a brass bowl that might have enjoyed a previous life as a spittoon. There was something satisfactory about tossing shells on the floor, though sometimes I ate the shells too, figuring the fiber was healthy in a diet like mine, burdened as it is with all that cholesterol and fat.
The bartender was a guy in his twenties with a shaved head, a dark mustache and beard, and a tattoo of a scorpion on the back of his right hand. I flirted with him mildly just to occupy my time. He seemed to understand there was no serious chance of a wild sexual encounter in his immediate future. I put some quarters in the jukebox. I chatted with the waitress named Alice, who had bright orange hair. I made trips to the ladies’ room. I practised a little balancing trick with a fork and a burnt match. If there were any off-duty cops on the premises, I realized I wouldn’t recognize them in their off-duty clothes.
At ten, Macon Newquist came in. He was in uniform, moving through the bar at a leisurely pace, checking the crowd for drunks, minors, and any other form of trouble in the making. He spoke to me in passing, but didn’t seem inclined to make small talk. Shortly after he left, my idleness paid off when I spotted the civilian clerk from the sheriff’s substation. I couldn’t for the life of me remember her name. She came in as a part of a foursome with a fellow I assumed to be her husband and another couple, all of them roughly the same age. The four were dressed in a combination of cowboy and ski attire: boots, jeans, Western-cut shirts, down parkas, ski mittens, and knit caps. They found an empty table on the far side of the room. I stared at the clerk with her dark hair cropped short above her ears, dark brown eyes glinting behind her small oval glasses. The other woman was auburn-haired, top-heavy, and pretty, probably plagued with unwanted suggestions about breast-reduction surgery. The clerk’s hubby held a consultation and then headed in my direction, pausing at the far end of the bar where he ordered a pitcher of beer and four oversized mugs. In the meantime, the women shed their jackets, took up their purses, and left the table, heading toward the ladies’ room. I signaled for another beer just to hold my place and then made a beeline for the facilities myself. My path intersected theirs and the three of us reached the door at just about the same time. I slowed my pace and allowed the two of them to enter first.
The clerk was saying, “Oh, honey. Billie’s taken up with that trashy fellow from the video store. You know the one with the attitude? I don’t know what she sees in him unless it’s you-know-what. I told her she ought to think a little more of herself…”
The two continued to talk as they passed through the door and into the first two out of three toilet stalls. I entered the third and eavesdropped my tiny heart out while the three of us peed in a merry chorus. What the hell was her name? She and her companion discussed Billie’s son, Seb, who suffered from genital warts so persistent his penis looked like a pink fleshy pickle according to someone named Candy who’d dumped him forthwith. Three toilets were flushed in succession and we reassembled at the sinks so we could wash our hands. The other woman skipped her personal cleanliness and moved on to the ritual of combing her hair and adjusting her makeup. I was tempted to point out the sign on the wall, urging us to curb the spread of disease, but I realized the warning was intended for tavern employees. Apparently, the rest of us were at liberty to contaminate anyone we touc
hed. I tried to set a good example, lathering like a surgeon on the brink of an operation, but the woman didn’t follow suit.
Miraculously, just then, my brain supplied the clerk’s name in a satisfying mental burp. I caught her eye in the mirror and flashed her a smile as she was pulling out a paper towel so she could dry her hands. “Aren’t you Margaret?”
She looked at me blankly and then said “Oh hi” without warmth. I couldn’t tell if she’d forgotten me, or remembered and simply didn’t want to be engaged in conversation. Probably the latter. She crumpled the paper towel and pushed it down in the wastebasket.
“Kinsey Millhone,” I prompted, as if she’d recently inquired. “We met this morning at the office when I was talking to Detective LaMott.” I held out my hand and she was too polite to decline a handshake.
She said, “Nice seeing you again.”
“I thought I recognized you the minute you came in, but I couldn’t remember where I knew you from.” I turned and gave a little wave to the other woman.
“We’d best be off, too,” Margaret said, glancing at her watch. “Oh, geez. I have to be at work at eight and look what time it is. Eleven forty-five.”
Earlene reached for her jacket. “I didn’t realize it was that late and we still have to drop you off at your place.”
“We can walk. It’s not far,” Margaret said.
“Don’t be silly. It’s no trouble. It’s right on our way.”
The four of them began to gather their belongings, shrugging into their parkas, scraping chairs back as they rose.
“Catch you later,” I said.
Various goodbye remarks were made, the yada-yada-yada of superficial social exchange. I watched them depart, and then returned to the bar where I settled my tab. Alice, the orange-haired waitress, was just taking a break. She pulled up a stool beside me and lit a cigarette. Her eyes were rimmed in black eyeliner and she had a fringe of thick dark lashes that had to be false; bright coral lipstick, a swathe of blusher on each cheek. “You a cop?”
“I’m a private investigator.”
“Well, that explains,” she said, blowing smoke to one side. “I heard you’re asking around about Tom Newquist.”
“Word travels fast.”
“Oh, sure. Town this small there’s not much to talk about,” she said. “You’re barking up the wrong tree with that bunch you were talking to. They’re all law enforcement, loyal to their own. You’re not going to get anyone to say a bad word about Tom.”
“So I discover. You have something to add?”
“Well, I don’t know what’s been said. I knew him from in here. I knew her somewhat better. I used to run into the two of them at church on occasion.”
“I gather she wasn’t popular. At least from what I’ve heard.”
“I try not to judge others, but it’s hard not to have some opinion. Everybody’s down on Selma and it seems unfair. I just wish she’d quit worrying about those silly teeth of hers.” Alice put a hand to her mouth. “Have you noticed her doing this? Half the time I can hardly hear what’s she saying because she’s so busy trying to cover up her mouth. Anyway, Tom was great. Don’t get me wrong… I grant you Selma’s abrasive… but you know what? He got to look good by comparison. He wasn’t confrontational. Tom’d never dream of getting in your face about anything. And why should he? He had Selma to do that. She’d take on anyone. Know what I mean? Let her be the bitch. She’s the one takes all the heat. She does the work of the relationship while he gets to be Mr. Good-Guy, Mr. Nice-As-Pie. You see what I’m saying?”
“Absolutely.”
“It might have suited them fine, but it doesn’t seem right to hold her entirely accountable. I know her type; she’s a pussy cat at heart. He could have pinned her ears back. He could have raised a big stink and she’d have backed right off. He didn’t have the gumption so why’s that her fault? Seems like the blame should attach equally.”
“Interesting,” I said.
“Well, you know, it’s just my reaction. I get sick and tired of hearing everyone trash Selma. Maybe I’m just like her and it cuts too close. Couples come to these agreements about who does what.. I’m not saying they sit down and discuss it, but you can see my point. One might be quiet, the other talkative. Or maybe one’s outgoing where the other one’s shy. Tom was passive ��� pure and simple ��� so why blame her for taking over? You’d have done it yourself.”
“Selma says he was very preoccupied in the last few weeks. Any idea what it was?”
She paused to consider, drawing on her cigarette. “I never thought much about it, but now you mention it, he didn’t seem like himself. Tell you what I’ll do. Let me ask around and see if anybody knows anything. It’s not like people around here are dishonest or even secretive, but they protect their own.”
“You’re telling me,” I said. I took out a business card and jotted down my home number in Santa Teresa and the motel where I was staying.
Alice smiled. “Cecilia Boden. Now there’s a piece of work. If that motel gets to you, you can always come to my place. I got plenty of room.”
I smiled in return. “Thanks for your help.”
I headed out into the night air. The temperature had dropped and I could see my breath. After the clouds of smoke in the bar, I wondered if I was simply exhaling the accumulation. The parking lot was only half full and the lighting just dim enough to generate uneasiness. I took a moment to scan the area. There was no one in sight, though the line of pine trees on the perimeter could have hidden anyone. I shifted my car keys to my right hand and hunched my handbag over my left shoulder as I moved to the rental car and let myself in.
I slid under the wheel, slammed the car door’ and locked it as quickly as possible, listening to the locks flip down with a feeling of satisfaction. The windshield was milky with condensation and I wiped myself a clear patch with my bare hand. I turned the key in the ignition, suddenly alerted by the sullen grinding that indicated a low charge on the battery. I tried again and the engine turned over reluctantly. There was a series of misses and then the engine died. I sat there, projecting a mental movie in which I’d be forced to return to the bar, whistle up assistance, and finally crawl into bed at some absurd hour after god knows what inconvenience.
I caught a flash of headlights in the lane behind me and checked the source in my rearview mirror. A dark panel truck was passing at a slow rate of speed. The driver, in a black ski mask, turned to stare at me. The eye holes in the knit mask were rimmed with white and the opening for the mouth was thickly bordered with red. The driver and I locked eyes, our gazes meeting in the oblong reflection of the rearview mirror. I could feel my skin prickle, the pores puckering with fear. I thought male. I thought white. But I could have been wrong on both counts.
Chapter 7
*
I could hear the crunch of gravel, a dull popping like distant gunfire. The truck slowed and finally came to a halt. I could hear the engine idling against the still night air. I realized I was holding my breath. I wasn’t sure what I’d do if the driver got out and approached my car. After an interminable thirty seconds, the truck moved on while I followed its reflection in my rearview mirror. There was no lettering on the side so I didn’t think the vehicle was used for commercial purposes. I turned my head, watching as the panel truck reached the end of the aisle and took a left. There was something unpleasant about being the subject of such scrutiny.
I tried starting my car again. “Come on,” I said. The engine seemed, if anything, a little less energetic. The panel truck was now passing from right to left along the lane in front of me, the two of us separated by the intervening cars, parked nose to nose with mine. I could see the driver lean forward, the masked face now tilted in my direction. It was the blankness that unnerved me, the shapeless headgear wiping out all features except the eyes and mouth, which stood out in startling relief. Terrorists and bank robbers wore masks like this, not ordinary citizens concerned about frostbite. The panel truck st
opped. The black ski mask was fully turned in my direction, the prolonged look intense. I could see that both the eye holes and the mouth hole had been narrowed by big white yarn stitches, with no attempt to disguise the modification. The driver extended a gloved right hand, index finger pointing at me like the barrel of a gun. Two imaginary bullets were fired at me, complete with recoil. I flipped him the bird in return. This brief digital exchange was charged with aggression on his part and defiance on mine. The driver seemed to stiffen and I wondered if I should have kept my snappy metacarpal retort to myself. In Los Angeles, freeway shootings have been motivated by less. For the first time, I worried he might have a real weapon somewhere down by his feet.
I pumped the gas with my foot and turned the key again, uttering a low urgent sound. Miraculously, the engine coughed to life. I put the car in neutral and applied pressure on the accelerator, flipping on the headlights while I gunned the engine. The arrow on the voltage indicator leaned repeatedly to the right. I flicked my attention to the panel truck, which was just turning out of the lot at the far end. I released the emergency brake and put the car in reverse.
I backed out of the slot, shifted gears, and swung the car into the lane heading in the opposite direction, peering through the dark to see what had happened to the panel truck. I could hear my heart thudding in my head, as if fear had forced the hapless organ up between my ears. I reached the marked exit and eased forward, searching the streets beyond for signs that the panel truck was rounding the block. The street was empty as far as I could see. I patted myself on the chest, a calming gesture designed to comfort and reassure. Nothing had actually happened. Maybe the driver was mistaken, thinking I was an acquaintance and then realizing his error. Someone passing in a panel truck had turned and looked at me, firing symbolically with a pointed index finger and a wiggle of his thumb. I didn’t think the incident would make the national news.