Lila and I popped out of the storm as the bellow of a lion greeted me. I opened my mouth and roared back in tandem with Lila.
We were home.
Only home was a fucking mess.
Besides the storm, the desert was littered with creatures that didn’t belong and they were attacking the lions that Kiara had drawn to her. Goddess be damned, she’d done a good job.
Merlin was in the middle of it, acting innocent.
“Fucking douche.”
I reared back and then shot forward, going straight for him. One bite, even he wouldn’t survive that.
And he’d never see it coming.
Only he did.
I went straight for him, and he flung up his hand at the last second, smashing me with a blow to the belly that flipped me onto my back and I skidded across the desert. I took out a whole slew of his creatures, rolling over them, squashing them flat.
“You okay?” I checked in not only with Lila and Maks but the falak too.
“Good!” Lila roared as she battled the creatures that would overwhelm the lions.
“Killing things!” Maks yelled back.
I am with you. Do not be afraid.
What she said.
Only there was every reason to be afraid.
Every person I loved, every reason for my heart beating strong was here on this battlefield and that was every reason to be afraid—not for myself, but for them.
“Zamira, give me the stones! Ishtar has raised this storm to kill all those you love!” Merlin shouted. “Whatever she has told you is lies! You know her, you know the games she plays!”
Lies. Lies were all that came from his mouth. I shifted as I ran toward him, taking on my jungle cat form, using it to dodge the creatures. I didn’t bother to stop to fight. I didn’t use the stones. That wasn’t how I was going to take him down.
That had never been how I was going to stop him.
I ran toward him while those I loved were slaughtered beside me, not stopping to help them.
Shem was the first I saw go down, his throat severed by a blade from a lizard creature.
Then Ford as he was taken down by something that looked like a misshapen Jinn.
Kiara crawled on her belly toward me, stabbed in the back. Like Bryce had been.
I kept running, tears streaming down my face as I closed the distance between me and Merlin.
I am with you. Do not be afraid.
Bryce leapt in my way, taking down a full-grown gorc, but was grabbed by another, his body skewered ten times over. I roared as I ran, the pain of their lives being stripped from this world was everything.
“I can save them, Zam, you just have to give me the stones. Their lives surely mean that much to you.” Merlin stood so quietly in the middle of all that blood, all that chaos. That smile on his face I thought had meant he had a secret joke, and, of course, I’d been right. He’d just never planned on letting me in on it.
Flora lay at his feet, blood pooling around her as she heaved for breath. “Do not give him—”
He bent and covered her mouth with his hand. “Don’t listen to the old lady.”
Her body shriveled under his hand, aging in an instant. Still alive, but old, and feeble.
I slid to a stop and circled him. “I know you for what you are, Merlin. Merlin the Monster. That was the name they gave you all those years ago. Your mother was a monster, and you’re just like her.”
He seemed genuinely surprised. “How did you know that?”
“You are the one who took the stones from Ishtar, for yourself. But you got caught by your father. And you spun a tale to keep yourself from taking the blame because you can’t stand for people not to believe you are the hero.” I kept circling him, waiting for my moment. Knowing it would come. Trying not to think about all those dying around me.
Trying not to feel their deaths, even though every fiber of my being cried out to save them. Tears streamed down my face, through the anger, through the storm.
For the first time, I understood my father in a way I never had before. Not only was a protector often asked to give their own life, but the lives of all they loved to protect a greater cause.
I closed my eyes and I used my own magic to change the scene around us. “Now you will see, Merlin, what I know.”
The world around us shimmered as my power wrapped around us. The Emperor’s bloodline ran strong in me, and I used it to create my own dreamscape, changing what Merlin saw. Bending reality just enough to hopefully throw him off balance.
Merlin spun as the desert opened around us, spreading out in sweeping sand dunes, and a bright blue sky. The Oasis popped up around us as if it grew on the spot, and the bodies of my father, my pride lay scattered at our feet. The site of a battle that had changed my world. Fitting that we should be there as I changed it once more.
“Merlin. As guardian of the desert, I call on you to pay for the crimes you’ve committed.”
“You cannot beat me. Give me the stones.” He held his hand out. “And I will end Ishtar.”
“You broke her mind on purpose. You broke her mind so I would fear her. Just as you broke the Emperor’s mind. You couldn’t have anyone remember the truth about you. Which is why you made sure that everyone feared the falak. So that if she was ever reborn, we would all be sure to kill her. To kill the memory you feared the most.”
His nostrils flared. “I never told you the falak was female.” Around us the dead rose with a flick of his fingers, skeletal lions that clacked and clattered. “You have done as your mother suggested, though, and you brought me the jewels. Pity you can’t just hand them to me like a good girl.”
I stared at him. “You . . . you wrote the papers, didn’t you? The journals that were supposed to be my mother’s?” Goddess, would the lies never end? The words from what I thought were her hand rushed over me again. That I was to give the stones to her brother, that he would deal with the power in them. All wrong, all of it.
He shrugged. “I did what I had to do.”
Another thought hit me. “And the unicorn? Did you tell Ollianna it was a unicorn that held the last stone?”
Merlin smiled then. “Just in case you failed, I needed a backup. Someone else to get the jewels for me.” He shook his head. “Enough questions. Time for you to die, Zamira. You are stronger and more troublesome than even I thought you would be.”
The dead he’d raised raced toward me, and I knocked them down, the swipes of my paws enough to take them out easily. But they were never meant to hurt me, just distract me.
“Where did you find the last stone?” He snapped his fingers and the Oasis was gone.
We were outside the Stockyards once more, only the storm was gone. Quiet.
Death was all I could smell. Bodies ripped and shredded.
I am with you. Do not be afraid.
I was shaking as I tried to find Lila and Maks. And couldn’t. I couldn’t feel them, and I didn’t dare look. “You think that killing them will break me?”
“I know it will.” He smiled and crouched, snapping his fingers, stripping me of my jungle cat form and forcing me back to my house cat form. “I know that you are so tied to them, that their deaths will crush you. They will take you to the grave with them. It is a weakness to love like that, to let yourself be so bonded to another that their death leaves you wishing for your own demise.”
I let the pain wash through me, like breathing through an injury, let myself feel it, let it flow on past. Let the calm flow with the tears. The falak’s energy beat inside my own, and through her, I saw the truth.
And with her knowledge in my head, I was not afraid. Merlin wasn’t the only one who could make another believe a lie. I bowed my head, and spoke softly, “You’re the only family I have left, please . . .”
I crouched and let him scoop me up. Let him hold me to his chest as though I were a defenseless kitten. “Ah, Zam, you made the right choice. Give me the stones.”
He thought I was nothing but a m
ere house cat.
Boy, is he in for a fucking shock.
Marsum was not wrong.
I went from complete stillness to an absolute tornado in Merlin’s arms, clawing and biting, tearing through the flesh of his chest and neck, my strength infused by the power of the flail. Blood sprayed as he tried to pull me off him.
My fangs found the artery in his neck and I shredded it, found the artery in his upper arm and opened it too. I found my way to his back and bit down hard over his spine as I shifted to my jungle cat form. My fangs slid through, crushing the bone, shattering them.
The moment stretched, and I knew how to kill him. The falak showed me what would end his life.
A powerful blow slammed into my side, and my lungs collapsed, but I didn’t slow, I was almost there even though I couldn’t breathe.
They are all with you, all those you love. One last blow, guardian of the desert, and we will be free of his machinations.
I scrambled up his back as he screamed at me, screamed my name, his magic spooling around me as my fangs found the back of his neck. I bit down hard, driving them through the flesh and into the bone as something akin to fire lit along the edge of my fur, the heat driving into me.
I closed my eyes, readjusted my hold on his spine and yanked for all I was worth. There was a moment I thought I wouldn’t be strong enough, that I thought I wouldn’t be able to do it.
But then, his head popped from his shoulders—literally the sound was a huge sucking pop—like knocking a flower off its stem. His scream cut short and the tension in his shoulders slid away.
Only then did I stop, and feel the pain rocketing through me.
Only then did his magic fade.
I am with you. Do not be afraid.
Her words were there but I still could not find Lila or Maks. “MAKS!” I shifted to two legs, forcing my body to heal as I did so. I fell to my knees and gasped for all of five seconds before I pushed up, and ran past the bodies, seeing them still there. All those I loved.
Dead.
It wasn’t an illusion.
None of it was an illusion.
“BALDER!” I screamed for him, then saw him, head bowed over a body. His own hide was scored with wounds, blood dripped to the ground in a slowly growing puddle.
I didn’t understand. It didn’t seem that bad. The fight had been swinging in our direction, it was all an illusion. Wasn’t it?
I stumbled when I reached Balder and went to my knees. Maks was still breathing, but barely.
“Did we win?” Maks looked up at me and I nodded as I struggled to keep it together.
“He’s dead.”
He coughed once and I ran my hands over his body. I didn’t understand how he was dying. What had happened?
Oh shit.
“What? What is it?”
Merlin must have tied his life to them. So when you killed him . . .
A tremor crashed through me as though I’d been hit by lightning. “Oh sweet baby goddess, no.”
Balder dropped his head to me, his nose on my shoulder, then went to his knees, lying down. The one place I trusted the jewels to be was with him. He’d swallowed them whole before we made the attack on Ollianna’s sanctuary, and now . . . the jewels dropped one by one out of his chest until they sat in a glittering pile at my feet. He bumped me again.
An image of me pressing the stones together, of that being enough. I didn’t hesitate, scrambled to press them together, using the magic in me to wrap around them. They pulsed and danced and merged into a single multifaceted, multilayered stone, easier than anything I’d done so far.
As if this was what they’d been waiting for all along.
I held it tightly and poured my power through it as I reached for my connection to all those I loved, to all those I was bound, heart and soul, to protect.
And I found them, their souls close as if waiting. “You all aren’t getting away from me that quickly.”
The falak wrapped around my wrist, and Balder leaned into me and the images flowed between us, a different kind of trio. Three, three, three.
That was what the Oracle had said what seemed like forever ago.
Three.
Always three.
I wove the magic wide like a net and cast it over my people. My family, and I breathed for them, I clung to their souls, refusing to let them go so easily. We’d all fought too fucking hard to be pulled apart now.
A bolt of lightning cut through the sky, and all around me, the hearts I wasn’t sure I could live without started beating again. One by one, I felt them connect to me, felt them sit up, felt them look around and wonder what the fuck was going on. I smiled even as I slumped, even as Maks caught me in his arms.
“Zam . . . I was dead.”
“I know,” I said. “But I’ve already decided I can’t live without you or Lila. Which means I had to bring you back or die. Wasn’t ready to call it quits yet.” I leaned against him.
The stone in my arms was about half the size of a football, and I cradled it in one arm.
From the Stockyards came a stiff breeze.
And a shock I wasn’t sure even I was ready for.
Ishtar walked toward me, her skirts billowing out around her legs, her hair braided off to one side. Chin held high still, even now. Even though she had a blindfold over her eyes.
None of that was terribly surprising. But who walked with her was a bit more of a shock.
I couldn’t help the glare that settled over my face. Could no one follow orders? “Hey, I thought I told you to stay the hell out of this fight, old man.”
35
Shax walked with Ishtar, leading her by the hand across the open ground between the site of the battle and the Stockyards. “Ah, well, when I saw your compassion for me, I thought perhaps you would show it to her as well. I do care for her, and I know you do as well.”
I wanted to tell him to stuff it. That she’d killed my mother. That she’d at turns tried to have me killed in her madness, and had thrown me and my friends—my family—into danger without any thought of what it meant to her other than to have her power back.
I bowed my head as my emotions raged from the need for wiping her off the face of the earth, and making sure no one else tried to pull the kind of tricks she and Merlin had concocted for all those years.
Lila grabbed the edge of my ear, small once more. “What do you think?”
“I think that there is not enough compassion in this world of ours,” the words were thick in my throat. “That even though I have every reason to hate her, maybe I can help instead.”
I pulled the flail from my back. “Can you take all that power in?” It pulsed against my hand, shivering. That was a definite yes. “Even the stones?”
Another shiver. Well, shit.
I held the flail in one hand and dropped the multicolored stone to the ground, then slowly lowered the spiked balls onto it.
The spikes dug in deep to the stone. The colors were the first thing to disappear, then the stone itself was crushed, shattering as the last bit of power was drunk down.
The falak peered up out of my shirt, watching the dragon on my shoulder, then gave her a tiny wave with one super small claw-tipped hand. Lila stared down at her and frowned. “Don’t get comfortable. That’s my spot when it’s cold out.”
I hefted the flail, ignoring the two tiny dragons—seeing as that’s really what the falak was, just a different kind of dragon, one whose ability was knowledge instead of spitting acid.
I closed my eyes. The stones’ power thrummed through the weapon.
I already knew what I had to do, could see it as clearly as anything in my head. “Thanks.”
It is the safest for the world. The falak’s voice whispered through me, but I was not the only one who heard it.
Lila bobbed her head and Maks nodded. Balder bumped his nose against my back. Well, at least we were all in agreement.
“Shax, I don’t think this is a good idea,” Ishtar said, her eyes s
till blindfolded.
“It’s a surprise. You’ll love it.” He held up her hands to me, and I lowered the flail onto her palms.
“Just the power from the stones,” I whispered.
The flail dug in hard and she screamed and pulled back with a blast of energy that sent everyone tumbling away, end over end, and even kicked the flail off, detaching it from her hands.
Not killed, just flung far away.
I stared at her, at the blindfold that hung around her neck instead of covering her eyes. Well shit.
“It was always going to come to this,” I said. “Always. Despite Merlin’s machinations, you had your own. You killed my mother.”
“The Jinn—”
I pointed the flail at her. “You made it happen. You hated her. You knew she could do what I’m doing now.”
Ishtar shook her head and the stones glowed within her belly. “No, she could never have done what you did, Zamira. She wasn’t strong enough.” Not strong enough. Her eyes met mine. “Are you strong enough to do what must be done? To finally say goodbye?”
My lower lip trembled as I dropped the flail to the ground. Only the falak was with me, and through her eyes, I saw the truth of Ishtar. I saw her heart.
And in the end, it is only what is in the heart that truly matters. It is only those you love that matter. I walked toward her and held out my hand. “It has to be me, doesn’t it?”
She went to her knees. “Before the stones’ power takes me again. There is no separating me from them the way you saved your grandfather. Though I think that in itself is a great punishment, for him to have no power, and to live with it for however long the desert lets him live.”
My lip kept up its damn trembling, and for a moment, I couldn’t see her through the blur.
“Don’t cry for me, my girl.”
“You were my mother,” I whispered.
“Not a very good one.”
I closed my eyes and went to my knees beside her. The knife in my hand felt heavier than the flail ever had as I pressed it to her belly, cutting it open with a quick strike. There was no blood. Of course, she was a goddess.
The remaining stones poured out of her, pooling between us.
Emperor’s Throne: Desert Cursed Series, Book 6 Page 25