by Amy Deason
Holding his hand up, he stopped her. “There’s more. My mother was a drug addict. And one of the worst kind. She didn’t work, she didn’t steal. Hell, she didn’t even pimp herself out for money to buy food and drugs. That’s what I was for.” He paused, dragging in a painful breath. He couldn’t believe he was telling her all of this. But if telling her about his life would make it possible for her to see the gravity of the situation and learn to lie, even a little, then it was something he would do. He just hoped to hell it would work. “When it was all said and done, I was facing a life behind bars. Until Charlie came along.”
“Charlie? Is that your boss?”
“Yes.”
Why in the hell had he mentioned her? She had nothing to do with this conversation. If she ever found out, she was going to have him by the balls . . .
“Oh my God . . .” Cadence raised her hands up to her face in shock. Her eyes pinned him in place as she sat across from him, entirely speechless.
He couldn’t blame her. She came from a nice family, a nice neighborhood where parents didn’t leave or turn their children into thieves or prostitutes in order to survive and supply their drug addiction. He must look like an animal at the zoo to her. A wild tiger or bear behind a thick piece of glass. The only difference was he was deadly than either of those animals and there was no sheet of glass between them.
Before another word could be said, she rose from her bed and crossed to his. Sitting beside him, she wrapped her hands over his, squeezing tightly.
“I am so sorry.”
Jerking his hands away, he glared at her. “I don’t want your pity.” The words were venomous and he could see they struck her hard but she didn’t move away.
Her lips drew down into a frown. “I wasn’t giving you pity. I was trying to be your friend.”
Friend . . . Now that was something he’d never had. He’d had a horrible father, an even worse mother, women and men who used him for sex, and a boss who used him to stop evil. But never a friend. He wasn’t even sure how the concept worked. But if anyone could teach him, he was sure it would be Cadence. But he couldn’t allow it. He couldn’t allow her to get close to him. Still, there was no reason to push her away more than he had already. Especially now when he needed her to pay attention.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you. I’ve been on my own for so long with only myself to rely on. I don’t know any other way.”
“It’s okay. I can’t even imagine the life you’ve had to live. It couldn’t have been easy for you,” she replied softly, replacing her hands over his.
This time he didn’t move away. Her hands were so warm on his skin and the curvy feel of her hip, her arm, her breast was burning through any thought of keeping his own hands off of her. It would be easy. All he had to do was shift himself slightly and she would be lying underneath him in moments. He could already taste her lips and tongue on his mouth.
He turned toward her, her face only scant inches from his. He dropped his eyes to her mouth, the full, succulent mouth. God how he wanted to kiss her. Raising his eyes, he stared into hers. The blue had darkened, shifting into the color of midnight. She wanted him as much as he wanted her.
He could feel the pressure building between them like a physical thing. Strong and heavy, it grew rapidly, twining around them, drawing them closer.
With parted lips, Cadence began to lean in, the lids of her eyes sliding down like curtains on a stage. In slow motion, he watched her close the distance. All he had to do was sit there and let her kiss him. Let her touch him. But he couldn’t. No matter how much he wanted to.
“No, Cadence, we can’t do this.”
~ ~ ~
Those six little words sliced through the fog in her brain like a scalpel. Cadence pulled back quickly as if she had been stung. With eyes open wide, she stared at him, not believing what she had just heard.
No? He said no? Him of all people?
Surely he hadn’t meant it when he said he wasn’t interested in her just because she wasn’t experienced right? But the cold look in his eyes told her it was true. He didn’t want anything to do with her. She didn’t know enough to make it worth his while. The thought sent a series of rabbit punches to her gut and she thought she might puke. Inwardly, she recoiled from the frostiness in his face and rose from the bed, her hands clasped tightly in front of her.
She had never felt so hurt, so . . . unwanted in her entire life. Everything hurt. Her heart, her pride, her self-confidence. She had basically thrown herself at him, or at least made the first move, and he’d rejected her. He’d turned her down. Wave after wave of shame rolled over her, threatening to pull her under. The only thing she wanted to do was to leave. To run away, hide in a corner, and lick her wounds but where was she going to go? Nowhere. She was stuck here until Henry came. It seemed like an eternity.
“Cadence, sit down,” Nikolas ordered, icicles forming with each word.
Looking everywhere but at him, she resolutely moved to the other bed and sat, her arms crossed over her chest. Staring at the soft blue walls, she concentrated on the random patterns left by a paint brush, her eyes tracing the simple swirls.
“Cadence.”
Ignoring him, struggled to get control of her emotions. She would not let him see he had hurt her. Again. Swallowing thickly, she continued to follow the patterns, each one flowing into another like magic.
“Cadence.”
This time there was no ice in his voice. Instead it was something dark and punishing. It left her no choice but to acknowledge him.
Abandoning her inspection of the wall, she turned her eyes to him, trying like hell to keep her wounded pride to herself. She was tired of being hurt by this man. And this time had been the worst so far.
Black eyes trailed over her face, no amount of remorse in them. Nothing but a dark, frozen tundra.
It became clear to her then. He didn’t feel. All he knew was violence and death. Secrets and lies. Love and sex were only weapons to him. He had no heart.
So he wanted to be cold? Well then, bring on the ice.
“Yes?” she replied, making her voice as frosty as she could. If he could do this, so could she.
Nikolas’s lips twitched slightly but she refused to think of them. Any thought other than being reserved and distant would shatter the freeze she was desperately trying to create.
“As I was saying, to make them believe the lie, you must believe it. That’s Rule Number One.”
“There are rules to lying?” She felt like she was talking through clenched teeth. Relaxing her jaw, she swallowed dully, willing herself to appear aloof.
“There are rules to everything. The only way to survive is to follow them. Completely.”
For a moment, Cadence was positive he wasn’t talking about the art of lying. Perhaps it was the twinge creeping into his voice. Or maybe it was the way his eyes crinkled around the edges. Like a dark warning, those telltale signs were meant to discourage her from becoming too curious. Too bad they weren’t working. But before she could consider it further, he continued with his lesson.
“When you lie to people, there are four things you must remember.”
“I’m listening.” So far, so good. She could totally play the ice princess.
Princess. How she hated that word . . .
“Rule Number One, believe the lie. Rule Number Two. Make normal eye contact. Don’t look away suddenly or stare too long. And don’t bat your eyelashes. They say the eyes are the windows to the soul. Shutter them but don’t snap the blinds closed.”
Did she do that? She couldn’t remember. Of course she didn’t lie often enough to know.
“Rule Number Three,” Nikolas continued. “This one will make it easier but you have to be careful. Don’t embellish the lie. In other words, don’t make over drama
tic statements and go into too much detail. Only give them the bare basics. Just enough to make it believable. It helps to pair the lie with a half-truth. Don’t go all crazy with it though, just sort of weave it in.”
“Sounds easy enough.”
“It sounds easy until you have to do it.”
“You said there were four rules. What’s number four?”
“Don’t fidget. Don’t play with your fingers or shuffle your feet. And for God’s sake, whatever you do, do not bite your lip. It’s a dead giveaway.”
Releasing her bottom lip from her teeth, she pulled her hands apart and placed them on either side of her legs, palms down on the comforter she sat on.
“Is that all?” Somehow she’d thought lying would be harder to do but with these steps, it should be easy.
As if Nikolas had read her mind, he spoke again. “It’s not a piece of cake but if you can remember these rules, you should be okay. At least I hope so. For your sake.”
“And for yours?”
His lips turned up in a rueful grin. “I have ways of disappearing where I can never be found so I’m less worried about myself. It would more of a hassle than anything else.”
“Well I wouldn’t want to hassle you,” she retorted, anger seeping in. She’d like to do more than hassle him. She’d like to hurt him, cut him deep like he’d done to her. But how could you hurt a block of ice?
Melt him.
But how? She didn’t even know anything about him other than what he’d told her about Jenika and his mother. But who knew if he had even been telling the truth?
There was no way to tell. He could have been lying to her this whole time and she wouldn’t know it. He was a self-proclaimed teacher. An excellent one according to him. For all she knew, he could be the prince of some foreign country she’d never heard of. But she didn’t think so. The glimpses she’d caught of him, the real him, were not fake. If she was sure of nothing else, she was sure of that.
“Good,” he replied, swiveling around until he was lying on his back, stretched out on the bed, hands beneath his head. “Now that school’s out, I’m going to take a nap. I haven’t slept in nearly two days and I’m tired.”
“You mean, you’re going to trust me not to run away?”
“I trust you’re smart enough not to. Just because Henry is on his way doesn’t mean Dmitry is going to stop looking for you. It would be foolish to try and leave the island right now. And you may be a lot of things Cadence Montgomery but foolish is not one of them.”
“That sounded almost like a compliment, Mr. Kozlov.”
Nikolas’s eyes were closed but he smiled softly. “I suppose it was.”
Cadence felt herself smiling in return. “You better be careful. It might ruin your reputation.”
“No danger of that. Now kindly be quiet or I will tape your mouth shut.”
“But I . . .”
Lifting one eyelid, Nikolas looked at her, making the words dry up in her mouth. She had no doubt he was serious. He would tape her mouth shut.
“Fine.” Scooting herself onto the narrow bed, she turned her back to him and faced the wall. She wasn’t tired but there was nothing else to do but try to sleep. It couldn’t hurt. Lord knows, she could use the rest.
Twisting and turning, she rolled onto her other side, trying to get comfortable but the bed was small and the mattress was hard.
“If you don’t quit moving,” Nikolas said, “I am going to come over there and hold you still.”
His eyes remained closed but the effect was immediate. She stilled instantly although her heart began to beat wildly with the thought of his body pressing tightly against hers. Even fully clothed, it would be tortuous. It didn’t matter that he was an ass or that he had no interest in her. She was interested in him. Far too interested. She could try to deny it until the day she died but no amount of lying would work. The truth of her feelings for him were too big to cover up.
Lying still with her arms curled up against her chest, she took full advantage of her wakefulness and let her eyes crawl over Nikolas. From the top of his unruly dark hair to the bottom of his feet, she scanned every inch of him. He was a gorgeous man. The problem was, he knew it. He knew how he affected women, her in particular. It made her want to hate him.
Returning her eyes to his face, she watched him sleep. He looked so relaxed and carefree. Something suddenly occurred to her. Did he ever have any peace? Not a restful sleep or a break from his vigilante duties but a real, honest to goodness peace.
With the type of life he described, she couldn’t imagine he did. Her heart went out to him. Nobody should have to grow up that way. Having a druggie for a mother, living on the streets, having sex for money. It was terrible. Absolutely horrendous.
Thinking back on her own childhood, she knew she had been lucky and was grateful for everything she’d had. But until now, lying only a few feet away from Nikolas, the reality of just how good her life was hit her hard. Even with both of her parents gone and in a constant race for her life, she still had it better than most. Better than him.
She swore if she got out of this mess alive, she would never take anything for granted again. And if she started to, all she would have to do was think back to Nikolas. As a child pimping himself out to have food to eat and a place to sleep. And as the man with the troubled soul with no one in his life to steady him.
“Cadence,” Nikolas said, keeping his eyes closed, “quit looking at me and go to sleep.”
How did he know?
She supposed it didn’t really matter. The fact was he did and if she didn’t listen to him, he would come over here and make her listen. Snapping her eyes shut, she lay there as quietly as she could, her thoughts tumbling over each other like boulders in a landslide.
Chapter 25
Nikolas’s eyes shot open.
A painful moan jerked him from sleep.
He was standing over Cadence before he realized she was only dreaming. Whatever was going on in her dreams sounded more like a nightmare though. Her brow creased as she cried out again. This time she moved about absently, lost in whatever she was seeing behind those closed lids.
The room was dusky and filled with long shadows. By his guess, it must be nearly ten o’clock at night.
How had he managed to sleep so long? He must have been more tired than he’d realized.
Cadence issued another agonized cry that made his gut clench.
He considered crawling onto the narrow bed beside her but he remembered all too well what had happened the last time he’d done that. He couldn’t, wouldn’t, go there again. But he couldn’t stand to see her suffer, even while she was asleep.
Keeping his eyes on her face, he dropped to one knee, beside the bed and carefully placed one hand on her shoulder, rubbing gently. After a few moments, her brow smoothed and her whimpers fell silent. He continued to touch her shoulder, unable to look away from her face.
His gaze roamed over her. Her eyes, her nose, her lips. He felt something strong building inside of him. But it wasn’t sexual need this time. This time it was something bigger. Something more powerful. It scared him.
Pulling away, he slowly returned back to his own bed and lay down, staring at the ceiling above him. What a mess he’d gotten himself into. Charlie had said this would be a piece of cake but it hadn’t been. It’d been more like the whole damn thing. Like a five-tiered wedding cake filled with explosives.
Wedding cake?
He didn’t even want to consider why his mind went there. Instead, he sat up again. There was no way he was getting back to sleep. It was a good thing he didn’t need much. But what he did need was food. Cadence probably did too. But she was sleeping so peacefully, he hated to wake her. No doubt dinner was long over but surely he could convince one of the monks to rustle up a few
sandwiches or maybe some more of the delicious tomato soup they’d had for lunch.
Studying Cadence, he decided to leave her long enough to grab some food. When he came back, he would wake her and they could eat.
On the other hand, maybe he shouldn’t wake her up. He doubted she would go back to sleep after she ate and he intended to steal away as soon as Phoenix arrived. It would be easier.
Coward . . .
The thought of leaving and never seeing Cadence again made him feel ill and suddenly the idea of an extremely late dinner didn’t appeal to him very much.
Giving up the idea of food, Nikolas settled back onto the bed, sliding his phone out of his pocket as he did. Time to see where Phoenix was and how much longer it would be until she arrived.
Less than a minute later, he had his reply. Two hours by boat, quicker by helicopter.
Boat will be fine. Less noticeable. I’ll be waiting.
Nikolas placed the phone on the table beside the bed. Two hours. Not that long. It would all be over soon. He would be gone and Cadence would be safe. From Dmitry. And from him.
“Who were you texting?”
Turning his head, he saw Cadence watching him, curiosity shining brightly in her eyes.
So much for her staying asleep.
“I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“You didn’t.”
“Are you hungry? I’m sure I can persuade Garagin to find you something.”
Pushing herself up into a sitting position, Cadence ran her fingers through her hair, smoothing down the flyaways as she did. “No, I’m not hungry. Who were you texting?”
“An associate of mine.”
“Why? More undercover bullshit I’m not supposed to know about?”
“Something like that,” he allowed, grinning at the caustic tone in her voice. She had to be getting tired of this mess. He knew he would be. All of the secrets, the lies, the running for her life. No normal person could maintain their composure under direct hits like those.