by Amy Deason
She definitely didn’t want to be that girl. What kind of life could she possibly have? She didn’t know and she didn’t want to find out. She would get through this one step at a time, one minute at a time. And before long, she could look back at this without the fear and heartache she was feeling now. Or so she hoped.
Climbing into the sedan’s dark interior, she rested her head on the leather seat and closed her eyes. Henry slid in behind the wheel, starting the car. She felt the purr of the engine beneath her and then the sound of tires crunching gravel as they began to move.
In moments she would be in a helicopter heading to the airport. By tomorrow she would be back in the house she’d once shared with her parents. A house that now belonged to her. The thought was overwhelming. What in the world was she going to do? She couldn’t even imagine how to begin to start over. But she would. For them and for herself.
“Cadence, I just noticed your locket is gone.”
Her eyes popped open as her hand flew up to her neck. But she felt nothing but skin and the empty spot where her locket used to lay. Henry was watching her expectantly.
What was she going to say? I gave it to the man who rescued my life, took my virginity, and is going to stop a madman from destroying the world?
Too late for the truth now.
But she wasn’t a good liar. Henry was going to see right through her and ask more questions. Questions she wasn’t prepared to lie about yet.
Then she remembered what Nikolas had said. Don’t fidget, make normal eye contact, pair the lie with a half-truth, and don’t bite your lip.
Dropping her hands to her lap, she met Henry’s eyes. “I must have left it at the monastery.” The lie, even partial, felt foreign on her tongue and the urge to bite her lip was stronger than ever but she restrained herself from doing it. Anyone who knew her, knew it was a telltale sign. Nikolas had been right. It was a dead giveaway.
“I can turn around so you can get it.”
“No, it’s fine.”
“Are you sure? I know it must be important to you. I’ve never seen you without it.”
“Yes, I’m sure. I don’t need it anymore.” Her gaze flickered to the side mirror, watching the monastery grow smaller before disappearing into the trees.
True, it was the last gift her dad had ever given her but now the memory was tainted. The heart-shaped locket only reminded her of the secrets it held and the man who needed it more than she did.
“Cadence, I’m sure I don’t need to tell you how foolish it was for you to go off on your own like this. What if something had happened to you?”
“I know. But I couldn’t just sit there and do nothing. I had to find out what happened to dad.” She heard the plaintive tone in her voice but couldn’t stop it. Maybe it was better she didn’t. It might keep Henry from questioning her too much right now.
“What did you find out?”
“He was killed. I don’t know how or why,” she lied, “but he’s gone.”
“None of this makes any sense. Why did you come to the monastery?”
“This was the last place I heard from him. He sent me an email not long before he disappeared. So I thought if I came here, maybe I could find some answers.”
“Did you?”
“No. The monks didn’t even remember him.” The lies were becoming easier to tell but she wasn’t sure that was a good thing.
“Then how can you know your father’s dead? He could still be alive somewhere.”
Cadence shook her head, facing Henry again. “He’s gone, Henry. If he were still alive, I would have heard from him by now. You know how Dad is. Was.” The lump in her throat grew as large as a boulder.
“I just don’t understand any of this.”
“I don’t either.” None of this made any sense to her and she knew a lot more than Henry at this point.
The forest of trees opened up, revealing the helipad she hadn’t known existed. And perfectly centered on the white and gray tarmac, a large helicopter sat, waiting for takeoff. With its red and black body and black blades, it reminded her of a fat, angry wasp. She was intensely allergic to wasp stings.
Once, when she had been about five, she’d been picking amaranth for her mom not long before she died. She’d seen the biggest, most beautiful purple bloom on the plant and reached in to pluck it. Out of nowhere, a red and black wasp had flown out, stinging her on the hand. Within minutes, her throat had begun to swell and she lost all ability to breathe. Thankfully, her dad had been there and with one shot of an EpiPen, her lungs opened up, allowing her to take in air.
This time her dad wasn’t here. But this was not a wasp. It was only a helicopter not an evil insect threatening her life with its killer venom.
“You ready?”
Glancing at her dad’s best friend, she nodded and stepped out of the car. She was leaving this place and she was never going to look back.
At the chopper, she climbed inside, fastening the straps tightly, and watched Henry settle himself in the front, next to the pilot.
Tall with broad shoulders and short brown hair, he was dressed in a pair of dark khakis and a cream linen shirt. Not exactly what she’d expected a helicopter pilot to wear, but then again, what did she know? She’d never been in a helicopter before and to tell the truth, the thought of flying in one was a little daunting. Staring at the back of his head, she couldn’t see his face but she could make out the angle of a muscular jawline and a strong, wide nose.
Her study of the pilot was interrupted as the blades of the helicopter began to churn, chopping at the air. The resounding noise was so loud they created a vacuum in her ears and she was tempted to cover them.
Henry turned in his seat, studying her intently. “So, tell me more about this Mr. Aleksander. How did you find him?”
Shit, here it goes.
“Not far from my hotel.” She really had no idea how far the hotel was from Dmitry’s compound but Henry wouldn’t know that.
“The Hotel Dostoevsky?”
Cadence paused. Had she told him where she’d been staying? She didn’t think so but right now she was so emotionally charged, it was possible.
“Yes.”
“And that’s the hotel you were staying in before coming here?”
Where was he going with this?
“Yes.”
Suddenly Henry’s whole demeanor changed. He was no longer the loving family friend she’d grown to know. “Cadence, you never were a very good liar and I know you’re not telling me the truth.”
Alarm bells began to ring. Something was wrong. Something was very wrong. “Henry, what are you talking about? I was at the Hotel Dostoevsky.”
“Before or after it burnt to the ground?”
Cadence felt her breath catch. The fire! How could she have forgotten about the fire?
“Henry . . .”
“I don’t know why you’re lying to me but I have a feeling it has something to do with your dad. And the young man, your guide.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she stammered. Now the alarm bells were not only ringing but creating a tintinnabulating storm inside her head.
“I figured as much. So that’s why I brought along a friend.”
Out of the corner of her eye, she caught a quick movement. Turning, she got her first real look at the man flying the helicopter and her heart stopped in her chest.
“Oh God,” she breathed, recognizing him from The Chamber. This was Dmitry, the boss, the man that had killed her dad.
“Well hello, Cadence. I’ve been looking for you.” The toothy grin spreading across Dmitry’s face drove an ice pick through her heart, turning it into a block of solid ice.
Oh shit . . .
Chapter 29
The fi
rst shot had hit his stomach like an atomic bomb. The second like a massive fireball. Now, tossing back a third shot of vodka, Nikolas finally found himself becoming numb to the burning sensation. But it was doing nothing to relieve the pain of letting Cadence go.
He’d hoped, vainly now it seemed, that if he consumed enough liquor, he would be able to forget Cadence and the forlorn look in her sapphire blue eyes. After all, the man he’d called father at one time had forgotten about him easily enough after a few drinks and they had been blood. So it only followed logic to assume Cadence could be erased just as easily. The only problem was none of this was logical.
To hell with the mission, to hell with Charlie. Cadence was what he wanted, who he wanted.
The longing filling his chest became an ache. And the ache became a gnawing pain. Closing his eyes, he lay his head back against the headboard in frustration.
How in the world could he have forgotten the rules?
Never turn your back. Never reveal your name. Never surrender your heart.
Unknowingly, he’d done all three. And now this Texas beauty was in his veins, racing though him like wildfire, burning up everything he’d ever known. He’d never been so confused in his entire life. He knew what he wanted but it would be selfish to claim her as his.
Cadence Montgomery was too good for him. He didn’t deserve her and she sure as hell didn’t deserve anything he could give her. Which wasn’t much. A murdering monster with no soul.
That was, after all, what the members of The Perfect Order were. Each and every one of them. They followed the orders they were given no matter the consequences. Innocent lives were sometimes lost but all in the name of justice. Kill one to save many, walk away, leave no witnesses. Only it didn’t always work out that way.
Seth and Madison had been the exception to the rule. A one-in-a-million exception.
Other operatives might begrudge Seth, maybe even resent him. But Nikolas didn’t. The man deserved happiness wherever he could find it. He’d earned it. Being Charlie’s right-hand man for years, living a rough and dangerous life, had taken its toll on him. The man was good, no doubt about it, but the strain had been more evident with each mission he completed. He’d been reaching the breaking point when Madison stumbled into his life.
And Madison was good to him, good for him. The starkness that had been etched into his eyes was gone, disappeared as though it had never existed. And although, he was still cold and reserved at times, Seth was almost like a new man. The change in him was remarkable. And it was all because Madison Sinclair loved him. She loved him completely and unequivocally. She knew what he was, who he was, and she still accepted him flaws and all. She saved his life.
Lucky bastard.
Well, maybe he did envy Seth a little. But hell, his own life wasn’t so bad.
He could go anywhere he wanted, had unlimited resources, and got to enjoy copious amounts of hot, sexy women, some of the finest in the world. It was great. Any man’s dream come true.
Except sometimes, at night, after he’d seduced another undeniably luscious woman for a mission or just for kicks, he’d lay alone in bed and feel a sense of loneliness. Unable to sleep, he’d stare up at whatever ceiling he was laying under and think how it might be nice to have someone lying next to him. Someone he could actually talk to and not just have sex with. Someone he could let go with, someone he could give himself over to completely.
Cadence. She was his Madison.
But fuck, what was he thinking? He didn’t need the domestic life. He didn’t need a wife and a couple of kids, a nice house with a white picket fence. He was not a one-woman man. He liked variety, he liked choices and change. He liked to go and do what he pleased with no one nagging him. He was happy.
But still, the memory of Cadence lying next to him, talking to him, whispering to him, remained persistent.
Persistent or not, it wasn’t going to happen. He would never be with Cadence. She was long gone. Back to her nice, safe home, back to her nice, safe life.
Foregoing the shot glass, Nikolas reached for the bottle instead. He put it to his lips and took a deep slug, praying the alcohol would drive Cadence out of his mind. He didn’t want to think about how the only person he’d ever really loved, and that loved him, was gone. He knew once the buzz wore off, her memory would be there waiting for him. But that was later. This was now and thoughts of Cadence were just too much for him to deal with.
A knock at the door threatened to break through his growing stupor. He was tempted to not answer. Pretend he wasn’t here or maybe even asleep.
The knock came again, harder this time, more insistently.
“Der-mo,” he muttered under his breath. If he just answered the door, then whoever it was would go away and let him finish the half-empty bottle beside the bed.
Who the hell could it be? No one knew he was here.
The possible implications of the knowledge began to eat at the edge of his buzz, causing it to recede. Regardless of how he was feeling about losing Cadence, until he got out of Russia, he was not completely safe. It had been stupid to let his guard down like this. But he had and now he had to deal with whoever was on the other side of the door.
Pushing himself up, he grabbed his gun from the nightstand before walking over to the door, the alcohol putting a slight sway in his step. He switched the safety off and pressed himself against the wooden frame. With his finger on the trigger, he grasped the knob and swung the door open wide.
“Nikolas, what in the hell do you think you are doing?”
The anger in Charlie’s voice sliced through him almost as much as the look in her eyes. But not quite.
Releasing a shuddering breath, Nikolas lowered the gun, replacing the safety as he did.
Maybe it wasn’t such a great idea for him to be toting a gun around while he was attempting to drown his sorrows. He’d nearly taken his boss’s head off just then.
Charlie was the last person he wanted to see right now. Why was she here anyway? He was done with his mission. He’d gotten the information she’d needed, sent it through an encrypted email, and gotten the hell out of Valaam. Tomorrow he would be on the first plane out of Russia. He didn’t know where he was going but he wasn’t about to stay here.
“I could ask you the same thing.” His words weren’t slurring yet but a few more pulls on the chilled bottle of vodka and they would be. But first he had to deal with Charlie.
Walking back over to the bed, he sat down, dropping the gun onto the nightstand and picking up the bottle of vodka. “How did you know I was here?”
Ignoring the question, Charlie eyeballed the bottle in his hand before looking back at him. “So you’ve become a hardcore drinker now?” Her words were clipped, each one sharp enough to draw blood.
“There’s nothing wrong with having a drink now and then.” He wasn’t sure if he was angrier at her for calling him out on his drinking or at himself for drinking in the first place.
“Like father, like son, huh?”
The words were a low blow, striking him deep in his gut and rendering him speechless. Clenching his jaw hard enough to make his teeth ache, he leaned back on the bed, taking his bottle with him.
“What the hell do you want Charlie?” he demanded. “The job’s done. You have the formula, and the girl’s out of the picture.”
“No she’s not.”
Amazing how three short words could send alarm bells ringing through his liquor-laced brain. He sat up quickly, closing his eyes against the sudden spin of the room. When he opened them again, he found Charlie staring at him with an unreadable expression.
“What do you mean? I saw her leave with Henry. They were heading to the airport.”
“There’s been some new information.”
The bells inside his head went from ringing to blaring in
an instant. “What kind of information? Charlie, what’s going on?”
“Henry is not taking Cadence home. He’s taking her to Dmitry.”
“What?” roared, rising from the bed. Vertigo hit him hard, making him sway on his feet. He tasted vodka in the back of his throat and swallowed hard, willing himself not to throw up all over Charlie’s Italian heels.
“Apparently Henry has been working for Dmitry for the last year and a half. Not long after he and Phillip began their latest research.”
Everything was spinning but Nikolas forced himself to focus on what Charlie was saying. “For the last year and a half? Then Dmitry must have been monitoring them.”
“It seems so. And when Phillip started to become secretive, Henry knew something was up. He had nothing to give Dmitry.”
“Except Phillip,” Nikolas surmised.
“Yes,” Charlie agreed. “And now Dmitry has Cadence. Even if she does cooperate, he will kill her.”
“Not if I have anything to do with it.”
“You can’t go after her. Dmitry knows what you look like. You won’t make it through the gate. Besides, you’re well on your way to being completely soused.”
“Watch me.”
“Aleksander!” Charlie snapped.
The long-ago name stopped him in his tracks. “Don’t you dare call me that,” he said, his anger threatening to boil over.
“Then stop acting like a petulant child and listen to me.” Her words were as sharp as a whip cracking over his skin ripping flesh away from his body. “You are not going after the girl. You will sober up and get on the first plane out of Russia.”
Meeting Charlie’s eyes, he refused to answer. There was no way in hell he was going to turn tail and run. Not with Cadence’s life on the line.