✸ Advice to your 30-year old self?
“When I was 30, I guess I was still struggling to stay in or get out of academics. What I didn’t realize is that the structure of the universities was either hitting steady state, or growing very little, or shrinking. That was not a healthy place to be, because most of the good seats in the musical chairs competition [e.g., tenured positions] had already been found in the ’60s, and they had occupants. . . . I think what I needed to do was decamp and realize that technology was going to be a boom area. And even though I wanted to do science rather than technology, it’s better to be in an expanding world and not quite in exactly the right field, than to be in a contracting world where peoples’ worst behavior comes out. [In the latter,] your mind is grooved in defensive and rent-seeking types of ways. Life is too short to be petty and defensive and cruel to other people who are seeking to innovate alongside you.”
PARTING ADVICE?
“What I would really like is for those of you who have been told that you’re learning disabled, or you’re not good at math, or that you’re terrible at music, or something like that, to seek out unconventional ways of proving that wrong. Believe not only in yourselves, but that there are [ways, tools, methods] powerful enough to make things that look very difficult much easier than you ever imagined.”
Spirit animal: Seth = sloth; Evan = bonobo
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Seth Rogen & Evan Goldberg
Seth Rogen (TW/FB: @SethRogen) is an actor, writer, producer, and director. Evan Goldberg (TW: @EvanDGoldberg) is a Canadian director, screenwriter, and producer. They’ve collaborated on films such as Superbad (which they first conceived of as teenagers), Knocked Up, Pineapple Express, The Green Hornet, This Is the End, Funny People, Neighbors, and Sausage Party. They have also written for Da Ali G Show and The Simpsons.
Fuck, Fuck, Fuck
I visited the production of Neighbors 2 in Atlanta to observe Seth, Evan, and their team in action. One day, I sat in on a writers’ room brainstorm. The script was put up on a huge screen, one person manning the keyboard. Everyone started throwing out ideas, which were typed in at hyperspeed. Evan and others said “fuck” or “fucking” at least once a sentence, and it all went on the screen. I asked afterward, “Doesn’t it take a lot of time to polish the script?” to which Evan responded with a smile: “You can always de-fuck the script later.” The important thing was to brainstorm freely and not self-edit. That came afterward.
Why Superbad Worked
Superbad worked because Seth and Evan wrote about exactly what they were experiencing at the time. Evan explains, “At the time, all we knew was that we really wanted to get laid, we weren’t getting laid, and we weren’t supercool.” It pays to write what you know.
Seth started doing standup when he was 13 years old. He adds: “That’s something that came from standup comedy. There’s a comic named Darryl Lenox who still performs, who is great. I remember he saw me perform. . . . I would try to mimic other comedians like Steven Wright or Seinfeld, like, ‘What’s the deal with Krazy Glue?’ and he said: ‘Dude, you’re the only person here who could talk about trying to get a hand job for the first time. . . . Talk about that!’”
Lessons from Judd Apatow
EVAN: “I would say the biggest thing we learned from [Judd] is ‘Don’t keep stuff to yourself.’ You’re surrounded by smart people. Bring them in. Get other people’s opinions. Share it with them. And most importantly, emotion is what matters. It’s an emotional journey. . . .”
SETH: “. . . I remember one time we were filming a scene in Knocked Up and improvising, or maybe it was even 40-Year-Old Virgin, and the direction he screamed at us—because he screams direction from another room a lot, which is hilarious—was, ‘Less semen, more emotion!’ I think that is actually a good note to apply across the board.”
TIM: “You also mentioned that every character has to have a wound of some kind.”
EVAN: “That’s a big Judd-ism.”
TF: Judd recommended they read The Art of Dramatic Writing by Lajos Egri (Evan: “If you’re a writer, 60% of it is useless and 40% of it is gold.”), which Judd said was Woody Allen’s favorite writing book.
Weed for Creative Work
Evan and Seth are both serious marijuana connoisseurs, and they use different strains for different purposes. For writing and other creative sessions, Evan considers “Jack Herer” to be a good working weed. It’s described by Leafly online as “a sativa-dominant cannabis strain that provides the perfect pairing of cerebral elevation and full-body relief.”
✸ Any parting thoughts or advice?
EVAN: “In the end, Superbad was a success, but make no mistake, for 10 years it was a failure. And the first five drafts, if you read them, you’d [think,] ‘This is the worst thing I’ve ever read in my life.’”
SETH: “People told us over and over again, ‘I don’t think anyone’s going to make this movie,’ and it didn’t even occur to us to listen to them. It wasn’t even a conversation of ‘Should we stop?’ We literally didn’t even have that conversation. It was just like, ‘Fuck those people. Let’s go to the next one.’”
EVAN: “To picture Stephen King writing his first book and then being like: ‘Man, I’m stumped. I’m gonna go be something else.’ You just keep going.”
SETH: “Blind belief in yourself.”
8 Tactics for Dealing with Haters
Life is a full-contact sport, especially on the Internet. If you’re going to step into the arena, bloody noses and a lot of scrapes are par for the course.
The sharp elbows and body checks can take many forms. Here is one of the first Amazon reviews I ever received for The 4-Hour Workweek, while I was still a wee lad finding his Bambi legs on the web:
“This book is mistitled. The subtitle should be ‘Escape 9–5, Live Anywhere, Join the New Rich, and Become the World’s Biggest Jerk.’ Don’t buy it. He’ll probably use your money to set a Guinness Book record for the most kittens strangled in one minute.”
Ah, welcome to town, kid. Want a tissue?
That was 2007. Over the last decade, I’ve collected a handful of rules and quotes that help me keep my sanity and reputation largely intact. Here they are:
#1—It doesn’t matter how many people don’t get it. What matters is how many people do.
Even if your objective is to do the greatest good for the greatest number of people, you only need to find, cultivate, and thrill your first 1,000 diehard true fans (page 292). These people become your strongest marketing force, and the rest takes care of itself. The millions or billions who don’t get it don’t matter. Focus on the few who do. They are your Archimedes lever.
#2—10% of people will find a way to take anything personally. Expect it and treat it as math.
Particularly as you build an audience, this 10% can turn into a big number. Mentally prepare yourself before publishing anything. “Oh, I have 1,000 readers now. That means that 100 are going to respond like assholes. Not because I’m bad, not because they’re bad, but because that’s how the math works.” If you anticipate it, it will throw you off less. On top of that, I assume that 1% of my fans are completely batshit crazy, just like the general population, which helps me handle the far scarier stuff. If you (wrongly) assume that everyone is going to respond with smiles and high-fives, you are going to get slapped, you’ll respond impulsively, and you’ll triple the damage. And you are not exempt from Crazy Town just because you cover non-offensive material. Here is a real, verbatim comment left on my blog: “You are showing a grave example of the white horseman to our children. Shame on you. You’re an evil one who has gained the world and lost your soul.” He proceeded to threaten to deliver me on Judgment Day. It became a real FBI-worthy threat! This was not in response to my post about clubbing baby seals. I don’t have one. It was in response to a blog post I wrote to help raise funds for high-need public school classrooms in the U.S. (through donorschoose.o
rg) that lack sufficient funding for books, pens, pencils, etc.
Anticipate, don’t react.
#3—When in doubt, starve it of oxygen.
Here are my three primary responses to online criticism:
Starve it of oxygen (ignore it)—90%
Pour gasoline on it (promote it)—8%
Engage with trolls after too much wine (and really regret it)—2%
I’m not going to cover option number three, but the first two are worth explaining.
The reason that you would want to starve 90% of oxygen is because doing otherwise gives your haters extra Google juice. In other words, if you reply publicly—worst-case scenario, you put something on another site with high page rank and link to the critic—all you’re going to do is gift them powerful inbound links, increase traffic, and ensure the persistence and prominence of the piece. In some cases, I’ve had to bite my tongue for months at a time to wait for something (infuriating BS that I could easily refute) to drop off the front page or even the second page of Google results. It’s very, very hard to stay silent, and it’s very, very important to have that self-control. Rewatch the “Hoooold! Hooooooold!” scene from Braveheart.
But what about pouring gasoline on 8% of the negative? Why would anyone ever do that? First off, we must realize that not all critics are “haters.” Let’s look at a real-world example. Eric Karjaluoto wrote a post called “Is Tim Ferriss Acting Like an Asshole?” in response to a spec design competition I held, which had caused a firestorm. I don’t agree with all of his arguments, but he did have some well-thought-through points that I felt contributed to a more interesting discussion. So I promoted his piece. For me, doing this 8% to 10% of the time accomplishes two things: It shows that I’m open to criticism, and it shows that I don’t take myself too seriously. Both of these things tend to decrease the number of real haters who come out of the woodwork.
#4—If you respond, don’t over-apologize.
There are times to apologize when you truly screw up or speak too soon, but more often than not, acknowledgment is all that’s required.
Some version of “I see you” will diffuse at least 80% of people who appear to be haters or would-be haters. They’ll even sometimes do an about-face and become your strongest proponents. Just present the facts or wish them luck, and let them come to their own conclusions. I often use something along the lines of, “Thanks for the feedback. I’m always trying to improve. In the meantime, I hope you find what you’re looking for.”
#5—You can’t reason someone out of something they didn’t reason themselves into.
#6—“Trying to get everyone to like you is a sign of mediocrity. You’ll avoid the tough decisions, and you’ll avoid confronting the people who need to be confronted.”—Colin Powell
#7—“If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid.”—Epictetus
Cato of ancient Rome, who Seneca believed to be the perfect Stoic, practiced Epictetus’s maxim by wearing darker robes than was customary and by wearing no tunic. He expected to be ridiculed and he was. He did this to train himself to only be ashamed of those things that are truly worth being ashamed of. To do anything remotely interesting, you need to train yourself to handle—or even enjoy—criticism. I regularly and deliberately “embarrass” myself for superficial reasons, much like Cato. This is an example of “fear-rehearsing” (page 474).
#8—“Living well is the best revenge.”—George Herbert
During a tough period several years ago, Nassim Taleb of The Black Swan fame sent me the following aphorism, which was perfect timing and perfectly put:
“Robustness is when you care more about the few who like your work than the multitude who hates it (artists); fragility is when you care more about the few who hate your work than the multitude who loves it (politicians).”
Choose to be robust.
“I really love the user-friendly quality of the word ‘fuck.’ ”
* * *
Margaret Cho
Margaret Cho (TW: @margaretcho, margaretcho.com) is a polymath. She is an internationally acclaimed comic, actress, author, fashion designer, and singer-songwriter. She’s on the big screen and in TV series such as Sex and the City and 30 Rock. In 1999, her off-Broadway one-woman show, I’m the One that I Want, toured the country and was made into a best-selling book and feature film of the same name. Her first album, Cho Dependent, was nominated for a Grammy for best comedy album.
How to Handle Hecklers from the Stage
Margaret is known for being very good at shutting down hecklers. She learned a lot from the legendary Paula Poundstone:
“Really try to find out what they’re trying to say. . . . It’s really going deeper, and finding out why this person has chosen to disrupt a performance that everybody has paid for, and that everybody is there for and agreed to sit for? Why did somebody want to rebel against that? I’m curious about it. I usually give them quite a lot of time. There’s the potential to create a whole show around them. . . .
“Then, I can ask them about who they’re with. I can ask the person they’re with [things like,] ‘Why are they like that? Are they like this all the time? Is this a special thing?’ You can also talk to other people around them, people who are seated next to them: ‘What was this person like before the show?’ or ‘What were they saying? What led us to this?’”
TF: This is pure genius. Sometimes, the best way to defuse or defeat attackers is to ask short questions and keep them talking. Even a simple, “Why do you say that?” “Why do you ask?” or “Why would you say something like that?” can do the trick. Online, I’ll sometimes let famous people answer my hecklers in the form of quotes. If someone is outraged over something ridiculous on social media, for instance, one of my favorite replies, especially after some wine, is: “Those who are offended easily should be offended more often”—Mae West.
Spirit animal: Old and wise sea turtle
* * *
Andrew Zimmern
Andrew Zimmern (TW: @andrewzimmern, andrewzimmern.com) is a three-time James Beard Award–winning TV personality, chef, writer, and teacher. As the creator, executive producer, and host of the Bizarre Foods franchise on Travel Channel (including Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern, Andrew Zimmern’s Bizarre World, Bizarre Foods America and the new Bizarre Foods: Delicious Destinations), Andrew has explored cultures in more than 150 countries, promoting impactful ways to think about, create, and live with food. It hasn’t all been roses. Now sober for more than 20 years, Andrew was once a homeless heroin addict. He turned his life around with the help of a friend at the Hazelden clinic in Minnesota.
The Most Important Thing Is to Be You, Not Your Inner Actor
TIM: “I’m looking at some notes I took after one of our first “therapy sessions” [to help me prepare for a TV show]. . . . One of the recommendations was that the most important thing is to be you, not your inner actor. The line that really stuck with me was how ‘Episode one is how you’re going to have to be. . . .’”
ANDREW: “Episode one, moment one. You can never take that back. . . . I think I told you the story of episode 1, show 1 [of Bizarre Foods]. It was actually the pilot. I went to the Asadachi, which is a restaurant in Tokyo. The translation for the name means ‘morning erections.’ True. It’s a getemono bar, the kind of place where businessmen close deals and drink a lot. . . . ‘If you eat snake bile, I’ll eat snake bile,’ and then the deal will be done sort of thing. . . . There was a part of me that had all the funniest lines [for] making fun of their name . . . [and, sure,] you can make fun of these people. It’s the easy go-to. You see people do it all the time on TV. A little voice inside my head said, ‘Don’t do it, because if you do that, you’re going to have to come up with those lines all the time. You’re going to be someone you’re not. . . .’ Quite frankly, the person that I am is very respectful of other cultures. ‘Don’t do it. Don’t give into
the fast, easy, cheap temptation,’ which we always do. It’s the easiest way. [So] all I did was walked up and turned and said some benign line and walked in the door. The moral of the story being: I didn’t have to make fun of the people, make fun of their food, make fun of the name. It has turned out to be the best decision I ever made, because people always talk about the respect that I pay to other people within the show, which pleases me, and I think it’s an important thing for all of us when we are travelers. [And] it is so much less work just to be yourself.”
✸ If you had to choose three herbs or spices to cook with for the next year?
“The world of herbs and spices is great, but before that, there are some other building blocks that I would prefer to have in my kitchen or my desert island: hot chilies, shallots, and lemon. . . . Sure, I can pick cumin or cilantro or things like that, but they have fairly limited use. With the lemon, chilies, and an allium or shallot, I can do anything. I can do ceaseless variations on them. . . . Salt [can act as] an acid and citrus is an acid [TF: Hence, some chefs say, “I use citrus like others use salt”], and there is an incredible amount of acid in all the alliums. There is an incredible amount of acid in all of the chilies. It’s no secret why those things are food-changing, food-altering, technique-inspiring ingredients to use. Much more versatile in the kitchen than basil or thyme or something like that.”
Finding the Right Recipe for the Kitchen or Life: Look for Details and Doers
Tools of Titans Page 54