by Cabot, Cara
She hurried back downstairs to get supper ready. She'd have to finish her canning later. She was peeling some potatoes for dinner when she heard David came in. He came up behind her, putting his arms around her and kissing the back of her head.
“Sorry that supper is going to be a little bit late, Emma stopped out for a visit.”
“Yes, I saw her pull up. I'm glad you had the chance to visit with her. And I'm even more glad that she left the rest of this peach pie. Can I just have this for dinner?” he asked playfully while holding up the pie. Emma turned around, smiling and playfully swatted at him.
“You can have it after you're a good boy and clean your plate.”
He laughed at her and went to wash up. Emma watched him and thought about how much fun they have together, how they had gotten into a routine and how hurt he would be if she left him for Grant. She couldn't. She wouldn't. How could she even for a minute think of leaving him. He cared for her and saved her from her own heartbreak destroying her. She put the matter out of her head while she finished supper.
After David said the blessing over the meal that she prepared, they sat together at the table, enjoying their food and time together after a hard day's work.
“So what did Emma have to chat about?” David asked her.
“Chat about?” Rose could feel that familiar lump growing in her stomach as her nerves kicked in. He was going to ask about the visit. She knew she should tell him about the letter but she couldn't, not yet. She wondered why the right thing to do was not always the easiest choice.
He smiled at her, “I know how chatty Emma is, did share any news from town?”
“Oh, um, not really. Just the usual. Seems the boarding house has been busy so it was nice of her to take the time to come out here. She brought me that fabric I ordered awhile back.”
She didn't mention the letter, but quickly changed the subject. She only half listened as he told her about one of their pigs being ready to slaughter, it was hard for her to focus, but she had to. He knew her, he'd know something was going on.
Luckily, instead of spending the evening in the parlor with her, he had some work to finish in the barn. She went upstairs and read the letter again. She remembered her plans for a future with Grant, how at one time it was all she wanted in life. Could she trust him again, after all that had happened? She needed to make a decision and stick to it. She thought about David saying that everything happens for a reason. What was the reason that she was given another chance with Grant? Rose was torn and decided to pray to God for guidance.
That night was unseasonably warm, they slept with the windows open. Or at least, David slept. No matter how hard she tried, Rose was wide awake. She watched the as the lace curtains wafted in the autumn night breeze and how the moonlight filtered through them, making cobweb like patterns across the room. She thought of room back at home, of her parents, her sisters, her friends. And then she thought about life on the farm, it was a lot of hard work, and though that never bothered her before, she thought about how different a life with Grant would be.
After spending the night tossing and turning and wrestling with her conflicted thoughts, out of the blue she had a moment of clarity. She knew exactly what she was going to do on Friday.
***
The next two days seemed to fly by for Rose. She wasn't conflicted any more and felt at peace with her decision, but she was in a hurry for Friday to arrive all the same. And now it was upon her and she was about to set her plan in motion. It reminded her of her last day at home, knowing she had a secret plan that the rest of her family was oblivious to, hoping she wouldn't give it away as she went through the details over and over again in her mind. It seemed today she was reliving that experience. At breakfast, she told David that she needed to go into town. It turned out there had been a mistake with her fabric order and she was short what she needed and then she'd stop for lunch at the Cooper's boarding house and return Emma's pie plate to her, stay for a short visit before heading home to make it home before dark. David didn't question her at all, just gave her a kiss and told her he'd harness up the horse for her. That's okay, she'd told him, she'd prefer to walk. The brisk fall air was invigorating and she wanted to enjoy a walk before it would be too cold to enjoy them anymore. Again, he didn't question her, only asked that she give his regards to the Coopers.
He went out to work in the fields and she cleaned up the breakfast dishes. Then she took off her apron and went upstairs to freshen up. She changed her dress and carefully pinned up her hair. She looked at herself in the mirror and wondered if she'd changed at all physically. She felt like this last year had aged her; she grew up fast.
She left the farmhouse, headed for the road that would lead her to town. She'd been on the road frequently now, with Sunday trips to church and visits to town now and then. But she didn't go into town on this trip. She took a shortcut across a field of prairie grass to get to the road leading out of Middleton to Harper's Falls. She knew that she would continue down this road until she came to a covered bridge.
The fall air was not as brisk as she thought it would be, the warm air seemed to not want to release it's grip over the midwest as the sun rose higher in the sky, heating up the prairies. Rose was breathing heavier and could feel her hands perspiring, she wasn't sure if it was due to the long walk, the sun shining down on her or because she was nervous to see Grant again after all this time.
The road seemed be taking a turn from the treeless, flat prairie, down into a valley. There were more trees and vegetation on surrounding the road and Rose knew she was getting closer to the river. She stopped for a moment to catch her breath. In a short time now, she would see him again.
After walking further into the river valley, she spotted the red bridge, and her heart skipped a beat. But she didn't change her mind, she knew that she'd made the right choice. She slowed her pace as she came to the bridge, scanning the area for Grant. She didn't see him anywhere. Perhaps he changed his mind, or had been delayed.
And then just as she was upon the bridge, she saw him, stepping outside from the shaded cover of the bridge. He hadn't changed at all, not that she would have expected him too. He was finely dressed in a traveling suit, with the same dark hair, piercing green eyes she had known so well.
“Rose,” he said, almost in shock. “I wasn't sure if you'd come. It's been so long!” He ran to her and embraced her. The smell of him, so familiar to her, met her as she buried her face into his shoulder. She took a step back, so she could look at him.
“Grant, I had to see you again. I want you, no I need you to tell me what happened, how Isabel came to be pregnant. I know you tried to tell me earlier and I didn't give you that chance, so I'm giving it to you now. I believed that you were in love with me. Make me understand how this could have possibly happened.”
Grant looked sheepishly down at his feet, obviously embarrassed that she'd bring that up. He wanted to be behind them. But Rose's eyes were intense as she waited for an answer.
“I don't want to even think about it, but if it is what you want, then fine, I'll tell you how it happened. I wasn't in love with her Rose, I didn't even like her to be honest. I was only with her once. Only once.”
“When? When did it happen?”
“The night of the Valentine's Day Ball. Remember you weren't feeling well, so your mother took you home early and I stayed there. Isabel stayed too, she saw me there without you and I should have seen it coming a mile away-but I didn't. She pounced on me, being sugary-sweet, you know how she is-saying that it was a shame you'd gone home and that she could help me fill out my dance card to 'protect' me from all the girls who would love to have a dance. It was the least that a good sister can do, she'd said. But the only one I needed protection from was her. She hung on me for awhile, I tried to ditch her at first, then just gave up. Some of the guys, George, Harry and Teddy, they'd smuggled in some whiskey to liven up the party and we were spiking our punch with it. I guess I must have had too much, because
it got to the point that I didn't mind Isabel around at all. Everything she said seemed funny and I was...well, I was drunk. She said that she was starting to get warm and wanted me to walk her outside to get some air. I jumped on the idea because I realized that I didn't want anyone to catch on that I'd had too much whiskey and throw me out. If only I would have just went home, but I didn't. We walked to the park by the schoolhouse and I wasn't using my right judgment by if she wasn't doing her darnedist to tempt me. She pulled her dress down lower, was leaning on me, touching at me, laughing with me...she said the air outside was too cold, so we snuck inside the schoolhouse. And, well, to be honest, I was drunk and don't really remember the rest. I do know that when I woke up, I had the most splitting headache I've ever experienced in my life and the complete shock of seeing your sister next to me. I asked her if we'd done what I thought we did and she just laughed and said that it would be our little secret.
But it wasn't. Every time she'd see me, she'd play with me, toy with me that she was going to tell you. It was torture. And then came the final blow-when she told me that she was pregnant. She knew that I would do the right thing no matter how much I loved you, that I would marry her so that our child would not have the shame of being born out of wedlock. She knew she was tearing us apart and she relished it, you know how she was. But then you left and it wasn't fun for her anymore.”
Rose's eyes were damp with tears as she relived the pain of the betrayal.
“But do you know what I think?” Grant asked her.
“What?”
“I think that she was never pregnant to begin with. I think she lied about it to trap me and split us up. I think her plan was that once we were married she would make it look like she lost the baby but it would be too late because we would have already been married. But after you left, she just lost the baby sooner. I think she faked the fall down the stairs.”
“So there was no baby?”
“I can't say for sure, but that's what I think. Your family mourned not only losing you, but losing the baby. Everyone was sad except for her. She so cold, she didn't care. Only for show, when she needed to-then she could produce tears. But I saw the real her. She broke off our engagement and has had several suitors since then, most likely the ones who have heard of her, um, reputation.”
Rose was hurting all over again. She wanted to know the truth and now she had it. But it did not change the choice that she had made.
“Let's go, I have a buggy waiting on the other side of the bridge, we can catch a train to Omaha and from there, we can go wherever you'd like. I don't care where we are, as long as you're with me.”
He grabbed her hand to lead her into the bridge but she stayed firmly in her spot.
“I won't be with you, though,” she told him.
He spun around, looking confused. “What do you mean?”
“I mean exactly that. I'm not going anywhere with you, Grant.”
“What? But why? Why did you meet me here, if not to leave with me?”
“I met you here for two reasons. The first one is that I driving myself crazy not knowing. I wanted to know how it happened. And you've told me what happened. If you think that Isabel is the only one to blame in this you are wrong. You didn't have to dance with her, you didn't have to leave with her, you didn't have to...well, you know. If you truly loved me or respected me, it never would have happened, it doesn't matter how much whiskey you'd had.”
Grant's mouth was open, as he stared in disbelief. Rose could tell that this was the last thing he'd expected her to say. She wasn't going to let him off the hook, yet, though. “I read the letter that you wrote me over and over. Do you realize that not once, not once Grant, did you say that you were sorry? And not only did you not once mention that you were sorry, you went on about the torment that you endured, how hard this ordeal has been on you. On you? Do you have any idea of the pain I've been through? My heart was broken, Grant, crushed to pieces. I felt that I had no reason to live. I had lost the thing that I'd loved most in the world: you. Not to mention, the embarrassment and humiliation I had to experience. All of the whispers, the looks of pity...I couldn't even bear to stay in my own town anymore. You are as selfish as Isabel!”
He was still holding onto her hand. His eyes no longer held a look of confusion, but one of sadness and regret. “Rose, I'm so sorry.” She let his hand drop.
“You said there were two reasons you came today. What is the other one?” he asked her.
“For closure. I want you to know that whatever pain that I've felt, no matter how much I feel that you've wronged me, I have forgiven you for it. There was a time I didn't think I'd ever fall in love again, but by the Grace of God, I have found love again. I have faith in God's plan for me and that plan involves forgiving, not holding on to the pain and anger and moving on.”
“You're in love again? No, that can't be, you haven't even been gone that long. You just think you are. You've forgiven me so we can start anew. Please come with me, I'm begging you, and I know you'll learn to love me again, Rose, it will be just as we'd always planned...”
He grabbed hold of both of Rose's arms, pulling her towards him.
“Let me go, Grant, I'm not going with you!” she cried . As she struggled to break free of his grasp she was startled by a voice booming behind her.
“Let her go!”
She turned to look behind her in time to see David stepping out from behind a tree. She gasped at the sight of him, wondering how long he'd been there and how he knew where to find her. Grant was apparently shocked to see him as well, he let go of Rose and looked at this stranger before him.
“Who are you?” he asked, looking from the man to Rose.
“I'm David Thompson. Rose's husband. Rose has made it clear to you that she is not leaving with you. That means you need to be a gentleman, take your hands off of her and be on your way. And it means that you stay away and never bother her again.”
“Or what? You can't tell me what to do, you have no idea of the history we have together!” Grant wasn't going to make this easy.
Rose had run to stand at David's side as he took a step closer to Grant. His voice was strong and firm, where Grant's was frantic with a touch of fear.
“You have no idea what we have together. A strong love that is based on respect, trust, and based on a foundation of faith. You don't want to find out the 'or what', believe me. I would do anything to protect my wife, I would die for her to protect her from anyone who would cause her harm.”
Grant took a step back, not sure how to react. He looked from David to Rose and then back to David.
“Fine, I'll go. I don't want to cause her harm. I've never meant to cause her harm, I just...I just wish I could turn back time, I'd do everything different, and she'd still be mine.”
Rose almost felt pity for him, standing there looking so lost and afraid. “Goodbye, Grant,” she said gently.
“Good-bye Rose.” He took one more long look at her before turning around and walking back into the bridge, back to his buggy.
David turned to Rose and pulled her close to him, hugging her tightly. She felt frozen and couldn't speak until she heard Grant's buggy pull away.
“How long had you been there? How did you know?” she asked David.
“I spoke to Ellie when she came to visit. She told me she'd had a letter for you, but you never mentioned it to me, so I had my suspicions. And then when you told me of your plans this morning, I just knew there was something you were hiding from me. I was curious, I was worried...so I followed you. I was careful that you didn't notice me, and when I saw that you didn't go to town, like you told me you were going, my heart sank, Rose. I didn't know what to think. I was able to hide in the trees but close enough that I could see and hear everything.”
“You didn't make yourself known right away. Why?”
“I wanted to know for sure what your plans were. If you were going to leave with him, well, I wouldn't have stopped you. The last thing I'd want is to k
eep you where you didn't want to be. If I made you stay, but your heart was somewhere else....well, that's not the kind of marriage I want. I had to know for sure that you were mine.”
He smiled and kissed her forehead. “And when I heard that your choice was me, and that you let him know that you'd forgiven him and were moving on, well, that just made my heart sing, my beautiful Rose.”
She smiled back at him, her eyes filling with tears. “I am your Rose, and I'll always be your Rose. And I meant what I said to Grant about needing closure. But I'm not done, yet, there are a few things left that I still have to do, first.”
David looked at her curiously, “What other things?”
“Let's go home and I'll explain everything.” She leaned up and kissed his lips softly, putting her arms around his neck. She knew that she'd made the right choice.
They walked hand in hand back to their home where Rose told David it was time that she write to her family to let them know where she was and that she would love to invite them to see her and meet her new husband, who was the best thing that had happened to her.
And that week, she worked on the last part of her closure. Hard as it was, she knew she had to do it to find peace and be free of the pain that had held her hostage for so long. She had forgiven Grant, now came the hard part of forgiving Isabel, something she'd once thought could never be done. But now, she truly did forgive her. She wrote to Isabel letting her know that she had forgiven her and that she loved her. She told Isabel that she would pray for her and that she hoped that the journey Isabel would take in life would bring her love and happiness.
Shortly after that, Rose was blessed again. Just when she thought she was so happy and in love with her husband that she thought her heart would burst, she found news that made her even happier. It turns out Emma's hunch was right after all, and Rose was indeed expecting a child. All of her dreams had come true, she would have a happy home on the farm with a husband she loved and trusted and baby of their very own to love. Rose couldn't believe how much her life had turned around.