by Blue, A. J.
“Um.”
“Here comes the crowning glory, so,” he grunts.
I realize what that means when Marcus kneels down between my thighs.
“No! I’d rather not,” I whisper nervously and can’t imagine that what those two are planning will work without me being hurt.
“Look at me,” Alex says and lies down beside Liam and myself.
I turn my head and look into his eyes.
“Give us a chance and trust us. You’re sure to enjoy it! And if not, just say the word and we’ll stop immediately. Promise!” Alex tries to reassure me. Then he leans over and kisses me on the mouth. He plays with my tongue gives me the same soulful kiss for which I cursed him earlier today. But he manages to distract me enough that I’m tolerably relaxed when Marcus enters my vagina.
Oh, God, is my last thought before my brain switches off and my body takes control.
Feeling Liam and Marcus inside me at the same time is a sensation I can hardly describe. I feel as if I’m about to burst, I’m that filled with them. And still I’m overpowered by a desire I’ve never experienced before. When the two men simultaneously start moving inside me, dilating me and screwing me rhythmically, Alex releases my mouth. I’m grabbed by a never before felt wave of passion. It rocks me to the core and makes me feel each and every cell in my body. I’m nearly unconscious. I scream. I scream louder than ever before. Let the wave knock me down and finally experience the orgasm I yearned for.
A little later, I lie on the mats of our playground with my eyes closed. My three roomies are right beside me and very tenderly and carefully caresses my naked body. I’m utterly spent and yet more sexually satisfied than ever before. The gentle male hands on my body and the state of absolute satisfaction give me a feeling of comfort. I feel understood and loved although I know that’s an illusion.
What just happened was the most intensive thing I’ve ever felt in my life. And yet: did I just sell my soul? Was it really right?
33
“See, Kate, you didn’t need to use the safe word,” Alex whispers in my ear and pushes some stray hairs from my face.
“I didn’t get a chance to say the safe word! How could I have when you were blocking my mouth with your kiss?!” I reply.
“Some people have to be coaxed into happiness!” Marcus smiles. “I didn’t get the impression that you were suffering. Quite the opposite. I think you enjoyed it, or didn’t you?”
“Um,” is all I manage to utter. Although I’m groggy and little sore after all the fucking, I still kind of liked the initiation ritual. At least my vagina feels extremely satisfied.
“You look whacked. I carry you to bed if you like,” Liam offers.
“Yes, please, I whisper. “I think I could do with some rest.”
“Sleep well, little bitch. You weren’t too bad at all,” Marcus says brazenly and kisses the tip of my nose.
I punch him in the side. “Idiot!” I mumble.
“Many thanks,” he grins. “Sweet dreams!”
Alex also gives me a loving good-night kiss. Then Liam lifts me up and carries me out of the room.
“Are you staying with me or would you prefer your own room?” he wants to know when we’re standing in the corridor.
My eyes are wide open, alarmed.
“Don’t worry,” he laughs. “I know you can’t go again. I’ll leave you in peace. At least for tonight!” he adds with a grin.
“Then I’ll sleep in your bed!” I answer reassured and let him carry me to his room. I haven’t been this exhausted in a long time, but I still don’t want to be on my own after everything that happened.
When we get to his room, he carefully puts me down on the bed. I’m dog-tired, but I don’t think I can sleep yet. I’m far too shaken by the intensive sexual encounter with my three roomies.
“Do you always do it like that? Your initiation ritual, I mean. Does it always happen like that?” I ask tiredly.
“Fit to drop, screwed like there was no tomorrow and still curious.” Liam looks at me while shaking his head. “Why are you so interested in knowing what we do with the other women? But I’ll answer your question for once. And only because you performed so well earlier. Yes, the initiation is always quite like that. First the swing and then sex on the playground with all of us.”
“I see,” I mutter. “And how many of those rituals have you already performed?”
“Forget it,” Liam says. “I’m not saying any more. You should go to sleep for your own sake or I’ll fuck you again. I haven’t had an orgasm after all. So you better not provoke me!”
Better not provoke me, I ape him in my mind but do what he says. I really am too tired for those little power games.
I snuggle into Liam’s warm chest, breathe in his wonderfully masculine scent and fall asleep soon after.
When I wake up late in the morning, the space beside me is empty. Liam must be up. Instead of his naked body there’s a note and an envelope on his side of the bed. I unfold the note and start reading.
Good morning, angel,
I didn’t want to wake you. I have some appointments and won’t be back until this tomorrow. Alex will be away as well, so you’ll be alone with Marcus. Please don’t kill each other.
In the meantime, my driver is at your disposal. You’ll find his cell number in the kitchen. Maybe you fancy a little shopping spree?
I’ll call you again later.
Until then,
Liam
Great. He could have told me last night that he’ll be away for most of the day I think.
I feel a bit lonely. After what happened last night, I would have liked to spend time with Liam. I’m a little surprised myself that this insight bothers me so much.
Liam’s company seems to mean more to me than I had been willing to admit until now. I’m also disappointed in Alex. After our wonderful date yesterday and our open talk, I would have liked to chat more with him today. Instead those two are leaving me alone with Marcus. And that although they know that we don’t particularly get along. We’re like fire and water and that’s pretty exhausting.
I try banning the negative thoughts from my mind and open the envelope. The contents doesn’t do anything to improve my mood. It’s money! Liam has stuffed a thousand Dollars and another short note into the envelope.
A small advance …
Enjoy the shopping ;-)
Liam
He presumably wanted to do something nice for me, but he managed to achieve the exact opposite. I feel lousy and somehow used.
Sure, the sex yesterday was the most amazing I’ve ever experienced, but I don’t like feeling as if I’m just a paid item on my roomies‘ list. I’m not used to that. It may have been okay for the other ladies, but I find it outrageous.
With wobbly knees and big frog in my throat, I scuffle into my room, get my toiletries and make for the bathroom. Luckily, I don’t bump into Marcus. I’m really not in the mood to see him right now.
I get into the shower and let the water stream over my body. My vagina burns a little when the water runs in between my legs. It’s been strained quite a lot yesterday.
I guess that Liam knows I won’t be able to shag for the next two days, I think acrimoniously. That’s why he didn’t stay. Men are all the same!
Really pissed, I dry myself and blow-dry my hair, put on my jeans and a cozy wool sweater. Then I head for the kitchen. Despite my rotten mood I’m still ravenous. My body demands energy in the form of food. Ever since last night, it presumably thinks that it’s engaged in some kind of war and should make provisions – just in case. After all, my physical reactions were suspiciously aggressive.
“Hi! Good morning.” Armed with his laptop, Marcus’s sitting at the dining table and greets me with a cheeky grin.
“Hello,” I mumble far from enthusiastic. I’d secretly hoped that he may not be here either today or that he would at least keep to his room. I really don’t feel like male company right now and especially not Marcus’s. He
, the usually emotionally retarded one, seems to pick up on my thoughts.
“What’s up? You look as if you’ve just bitten into a lemon,” he says, gets up and bars my way. “Aren’t you going to give me a good morning kiss?”
“Do I have to?” I ask peevishly.
“Of course,” he replies and holds my arm. “You won’t get past me without a kiss!”
Exasperated, I roll my eyes. “Leave me alone, please,” I say to him.
“What’s your problem?” he wants to know, scrutinizing me.
“Never mind,” I mumble and shrug him off. How can I possibly explain what’s up with me if I don’t even know myself?
“Is it Liam?”
Wham! I feel another little rush of adrenalin. Am I that predictable?
“What makes you think that?” I ask as casually as possible.
”Damn it!” Marcus growls angrily and abruptly lets go of my arms, making me stagger. “I knew it. We should never have accepted you.”
“I have no idea what you are talking about,” I reply warily.
“Of course, you do! You spent the night with Liam again, didn’t you? Liam doesn’t let any of the women sleep in his room. Never! They either sleep in the guestroom or sometimes with me or Alex. I don’t know what’s going on between the two of you, but don’t ever lose sight of the fact that this is nothing but a communal living arrangement with certain extras. Anything else is out of the question. Get it?! I was totally against letting you move in here, right from the start, but Liam talked me into it. I don’t dislike you, Kate. I actually find you kind of cute. A little naive and sometimes a bit too annoying, but quite okay really. But you are no pro. The other ladies would never allow themselves to feel more than friendship for us.”
Marcus’ words upset me. I feel myself turning red with anger. He’s really good at making my blood boil in next to no time.
“Who do you think you are?” I hiss.
“See! I was right. Or you wouldn’t be so aggressive. You have to control your feelings or move out!”
“Why are you such an asshole?” I shout. My appetite is gone. Not a minute longer will I spent with Marcus. I’ve got to get out of here and clear my head. I grab my jacket and my purse and storm out the door.
“Come back, Kate,” I hear Marcus calling after me. “I’m not out to get you. I just wanted to set the record straight!”
“Go fuck yourself,” I snarl and open the door to the staircase. I’m not going to wait for the elevator. I’ve got to get away. NOW!
34
I take a deep breath when I step onto the sidewalk. I’ve no idea why Marcus winds me up so much. Perhaps because he’s such an emotional imbecile? Would it have been so hard to simply have a nice chat with me and to look after me a bit? Especially since I’m not a pro and last night did actually confuse me more than I thought.
And what did he mean when he said he didn’t know what was going on between Liam and me? Nothing serious, or is it? Or?
… he never lets the other women sleep in his room. Never!
… you have to control your feelings or move out…
Damn it! Perhaps I really should move out. I’m presumably not cut out for this fucked up sex commune with those emotionally retorted weirdoes after all.
While I’m still mulling over Marcus’s words, a bus stops less than five yards ahead of me. I spontaneously hop on. Fuck Liam’s limo. I’m in no mood for his tight-lipped driver who presumably thinks I’m nothing but a bimbo.
“Last stop, please,” I say.
The driver nods. “Are you coming back again as well?”
I shrug my shoulders. “Don’t know yet.”
“Why don’t you get a transfer? Works out cheaper.”
“Okay,” I agree. “How much is that?”
“Six dollars and fifty cents to you,” he tells me.
Phew, pretty steep, I think and hand over my last cash, a twenty dollar bill. The rest will have to do for a coffee and breakfast.
I didn’t touch Liam’s money. The envelope’s still lying on his bed. I need him to know that I don’t want to be treated like that. If he had even a tiny bit of emotional intelligence he should really have known that the money would offend me. I’ve told him often enough that I’m no hooker, that I don’t want to get paid for sex. And then Marcus’s performance just now. Sure, I like Liam. But I’m not in love with him. Or am I?
Presumably Marcus is just jealous, I reflect. Perhaps he isn’t used to a woman who doesn’t adore him and puts him on a pedestal.
And then there’s Alex. First he spoils me rotten at our date and tells me some real private stuff and the next day he simply disappears again. He didn’t even leave me a note.
All three of them are completely off their rocker, I think. Will I be able to last the next few weeks? The sex is fantastic, but is it worth it? Of course, I could do with the money I’m supposed to get at the end, but Liam’s ‘advance’ has left me in no doubt that I’m pretty allergic to getting paid for my ‘services’.
Jesus, Kate, I think, what did you let yourself get into?
“Right, lady, this is the last stop. You have to get off. I’m taking a break.” The driver is standing in front of me.
“Oh, are we here already?”
I was so engrossed in my thoughts, I didn’t notice that we’ve already arrived. I’m the last person left on the bus.
I hastily get up from my seat, wish the driver a nice day and get off.
A little lost, I survey my surroundings.
Christ, what is this place? Looks like a tiny one-horse-town. I’m standing on what I presume is the main street. Small, colorful detached house with fields in the back and three stores, all right beside each other. An electrical goods store, a small supermarket and a diner.
Great, what a choice. I should have taken Liam’s money, I think wryly.
It’s obviously not my day today. With I sigh I head for the diner. I hope they serve good coffee.
The place isn’t exactly inviting. I buy myself a sandwich and a coffee and sit down on the bench outside. Luckily, it’s not cold today. The sun even makes sporadic appearances from behind the clouds. I sip my coffee, bite into the sandwich and absentmindedly stare at the road. Last night, after the incredible sex, I felt invincible and even a little loved. Today I just feel lousy. What a change!
I extract my cellphone from my purse and turn it on. The display shows a new text message and twenty emails since my last login. First I click my way through the emails. It takes quite a while, the broadband coverage not being particularly good in this dump. Most of the emails are junk mail, some are from my girlfriends, there’s one from my mother looking for an update and then there’s actually one from Andrew. He’s got some nerve! But I still want to know what he’s written. I’m too curious to ignore it. I quickly skim through his message and shake my head. Andrew apologizes verbosely and explains that he never loved Anne. Knocking her up had been an accident. Could we meet again?
Poor, pregnant Eco-Anne, I think. Andrew’s such an idiot. I can’t actually hate Anne; I feel genuinely sorry for her. Who in their right mind would want Andrew to be the father of her offspring?
In part two of his mail, Andrew warns me about Liam. It’s hard to get my head around it. HE warns ME.
I have heard that he is an extremely difficult person and peculiar in his dealings with women... Be careful!
Andrew is the last person on this planet to sit in judgment over others. But Liam really is difficult and strange when it comes to women. I’d love to know why he’s part of the trio. What motivated him to look for female playmates and then even share them with his friends?
And, if it’s true that he never lets any of their women sleep in his room as Marcus claims, why am I the exception?
I delete Andrew’s mail, compose a few, reassuring words for my mom and my girlfriends and then click on the text message.
Hi, angel,
Sorry I had to leave so early this morning. Un
fortunately I have some important meetings.
Hope you have a great time and look forward to seeing you soon. I’ll make up for my sudden departure then :-)
Liam :-*
I put the phone back into my purse and throw the empty paper cup and sandwich wrapper into the trashcan.
Aimlessly, I stroll through the little village. Neat little yards in front of nice little houses whose, undoubtedly pleasant inhabitants would be shocked if they knew what I’ve agreed to. I can’t focus my thoughts, but in the end it really just boils down to two options. I either go through with the whole thing or stop. And if that’s what I decide, I should do it as soon as possible. But there’s my libido which doesn’t at all agree with my rational mind. Apparently it has no scruples...
After aimlessly wandering around for an hour, I find myself back on the main street, waiting for the bus. I have to get back anyway. Let’s just hope that Marcus has calmed down and won’t annoy me. And I pray that he won’t want to sleep with me.
35
“Hello, Miss, can I be of assistance?” The elderly lady eyes me quizzically.
A little lost, I’m sitting on the steps to our apartment, bored, twirling a strand of hair between my fingers.
I’ve rung the bell a few times, but Marcus hasn’t opened the door. He’s either huffing and doesn’t let me in on purpose or he’s actually not at home.
Too bad I don’t have a key. And I don’t have Marcus’s cell number. And I really don’t want to call Liam right now.
“I forgot my key,” I reply pointing to the front door behind me.
“Oh, I see. Which apartment are you in? Or are you here on a visit? I’ve never met you before,” the woman observes and scrutinizes me over the rim of her spectacles.