by Asia Marquis
Great job, Ashanti. Maybe you don't have any friends because you're a bitch, instead of because you're ugly. A few memories of the last night surfaced then, and she felt truly ashamed. He was just trying to keep her from having a self-deprecating melt down.
She would have to apologize to him later, profusely. He really had been a gentleman, and took care of her even though she didn't deserve it. I can be a real asshole sometimes. Maybe he and I are meant to be.
That thought struck her as funny. Believing in fate, when it was being so cruel to her? Could she get more ridiculous? It was just a coincidence that they had been thrust together by their grandmothers, forced to marry. It was a coincidence that they would only have to suffer through for a year.
She went downstairs to the kitchen, which was where her phone was charging. After taking some pills and drinking a cup of water, she checked it for any calls. Five missed calls from her grandma. Great.
Before she could hit call, Rosalinda called her again. She picked up. “Hi, Grandma.”
“Ashanti! How are things going with Troy?” Her grandmother sounded chirpy and happier than usual. Which was saying a lot, because she was always excited or awe-struck about something. Easily amused, that's what her grandfather used to say about her. That woman could be amused by a shiny string if you told her it was a gift, he would say.
She bit her tongue. “Fine. Did you need something?”
“Yes, dear, I actually do. Do you prefer pink or red?” She could hear Ina talking in the background, then her being shushed by Rosalinda.
“Red, generally. Why do you ask?” She took a seat at the kitchen table and looked out the window. It was going to be a hot day. The bird that lived in the saguaro cactus out front was chittering loudly.
“Ina and I are picking out tablecloths. They have a lot of pretty ones, but I don't want white. They get dirty so easily. The red ones are more expensive, but we only need a few since it will be a small wedding.” She clucked her tongue, then gasped. “Oh, since I have you on the phone, I need you and Troy to both come by Hot Cakes tomorrow. We're tasting cakes and the bride and groom should probably get a say in it!”
“I have work at 4 so it will have to be a bit earlier in the day,” Ashanti reminded her grandmother. She really did not want to have anything to do with a wedding, certainly not her own, but there was no getting out of it. Not without a massive guilt trip, at least.
“That's fine, dear. Noon will do. I'll call Glenda and let her know, she's personally making your cake.” Glenda was the owner of Hot Cakes, as well as a member of Rosalinda's quilting club. She was amazing at her job, and that was finally something for Ashanti to be excited about.
“Will she be able to finish it? When is the wedding going to be?”
“Next Friday. We already have the church reserved! It's a quiet season for weddings apparently.”
She rubbed her forehead, breathing out slowly. “Grandma, I have my practicum at the library on Friday. Every Friday. You know this, and I also know your memory is just fine.”
“Well, you'll just have to miss it. One missed day won't be the end of the world.” Rosalinda scoffed, then told Ina what she just said. Ina said nothing, but Ashanti imagined her response.
What if it was the end of the world, though? One mistake and she could lose her job. Not that the practicum paid anything. She only got class credit for it, but it was necessary class credit before she could start on her masters.
“I'll talk to them about it tomorrow, after we taste the cakes, I guess.” Ashanti hoped that a week's notice was all she needed.
“Good. Okay, dear, Ina and I are going to get back to preparing. There's so much to do when it comes to weddings! You be good to Troy, and be nice to him. He's a good boy.”
Ina piped up, “And don't have sex until you're married! It's improper!”
Rosalinda chuckled. “Yes, try to keep your pants on. It's only a week.”
Offended, Ashanti sighed. “I'll try my hardest, Grandma.” It wasn't worth it to argue with her. It wasn't worth it to tell her that there was no chance in hell that she would ever have sex with Troy. No matter how beautiful he was, he was off limits.
They hung up. Ashanti sat at the table for a long time, watching the birds in the saguaro come and go. After a while, she crumpled and laid her head on the table, crying. She just didn't know what she was going to do.
Everything seemed like it was falling apart. Her life was out of control, and no one was helping her put it back together. They were just working together to make it worse.
What was she supposed to do when everyone she knew was working against her like that?
Troy
What the hell is her problem?
That ran through Troy's head over and over again as he was riding to his appointment with a psychiatrist. I tried to be nice to her, I bought her pizza and let her drink too much of my expensive beer. I was a perfect gentleman when she tried to jump my bones, too. I don't deserve this shit. If this is what I get for being a good guy, then I'd much rather be bad. At least bad gets some damn respect.
Her sad face and quivering bottom lip flashed in his mind, and his chest seemed to fill with something warm. She was beautiful, he had to admit. He just wished she didn't have such a bad attitude.
Part of Troy's agitation was coming from having to see a new psychiatrist. It didn't help he was paying extra because it was a rushed appointment, but Dr. Diamond was supposed to be one of the best in Arizona.
I gotta start remembering that money isn't really a problem anymore, he thought to himself. Easier said than done. After he was out of the army, it was a shock to find out that the will his parents left specified he make his own way until he was 30. He went from being a pampered, spoiled child to being a broken adult with nothing to fall back on but his grandma's kindness and willingness to break the rules.
Grandma Ina wasn't the best person in the world, and she did make him do some stupid things to ask for help, but she was always willing to dip into her account to help him so long as he promised to pay her back when he was 30.
Stepping into the modern building that acted as Dr. Diamond's office, Troy checked in and took a seat. I wonder how Ashanti would react if she knew I had to see a shrink? Would she think I was crazy? Well, he reasoned, I guess I am a little nuts.
“Troy Whitemarsh?” The woman who called him was tall and thin, in her fifties. She wore a black dress that suited her age, and black shoes with flashes of red on the bottom of them. Her gray hair was done up in a tight bun. She kind of gave off the 'hot teacher' look.
He stood and followed her back a few rooms. Her office was exactly what he expected a shrink's office to look like. Her desk was long and faced into the middle of the room. On it was an expensive, fashionable computer as well as a few papers. She kept the desk cleaner than his last psychiatrist.
There were multiple chairs and a couch that he could have chosen to sit in, but he chose the simple chair that was pressed against the wall and was closest to her desk. She swiveled in her fancy seat to face him with a smile. “So, Troy, I did just get all of your papers transferred over here. But why don't you go ahead and walk me through the problems you're having.”
He nodded, sitting up straight. “Sure. Um, my parents died when I was young, and they were wealthy so I was a spoiled brat. Got into a lot of fights after they were gone, but I've worked through their death by this point. My grandma raised me, and she's the one who encouraged me to go into the army. I didn't need to, like I wasn't required… but I needed to, in order to grow up.” He paused, thinking about what he would say next.
“In the army, I was almost killed. It was a woman, bombs strapped to her chest. I came out of it fine, somehow. I don't even know how. But I came out fine. My best friend didn't. Even before I started to drag him out, he was dead.”
“I see,” she said, nodding her head. “So this is where your fear of women comes in?”
“Yeah. When I came back, I had no problems
with men. I don't know if it's just because of the suicide bomber, or if it might also be because there were no women in my unit so I didn't get to see them as 'good guys' for two years. I'm sure there's more to it than just the one cause.”
“Perhaps you're right. It's good that you can talk through these problems so well, since your file says you had a hard time communicating when you came home.”
“I communicated mostly with my fists for a while.”
She chuckled. “Alright. Do you think you've seen an improvement?”
“Not really,” he said, trying to remember. “I mean, obviously at the beginning. Before I started having money problems. But I've gone a long time without any medication and a while since my last shrink visit. So far, my hands haven't started to shake with you, though.”
She smiled at the term and nodded, scribbling a few notes.
“I did meet someone. Well, I was kind of thrust into her life by my grandma, but it's a woman and I don't think I'm scared of her. Not in the same way as other women.”
“Oh? Go on, tell me more about her.” Dr. Diamond stood and poured herself some coffee from a small table in the corner of the room, gesturing to ask him if he wanted some.
Troy shook his head. “Well, I guess my grandma and her grandma decided forever ago that they wanted us to get married. It's kind of a modern day arranged marriage, and it's tied to money for both of us. She'll lose her house if she doesn't marry me. I'll lose my trust when I turn 30. It should have been a really stressful situation, but everything about her has been… Impressive, I guess.” He smiled, remembering her face and the way her hair smelled as he laid with her.
“She's really smart. Driven, in a way I'll never be. But she's also goofy and weird, and acts before thinking. So she's like a puzzle.” He didn't think he should bring up that when they first met, she caught him jerking off. Somehow, though, that was also a fond memory for him. “She's brave, too. The way she's handled our grandmas and this situation has really been impressive. I look up to her, I guess.” All of those fond feelings were making his eyes well up a bit.
He batted away the tears. He wasn't a crier. Get it together, man.
Dr. Diamond watched him as he composed himself, giving him the time to do so. “So, no fear from her at all?”
He thought, then shook his head. “There's some. I think that lack of fear is starting to scare me. Like I'm waiting for the other foot to drop, or if I let my guard down she'll make me regret it.”
She made more notes, then thought. “Okay, so this girl.”
“Ashanti.”
“Ashanti. Does she get along with you?”
An unexpected laugh escaped him. “Sorry! It's just, she's fighting the situation more than I am. It drives me nuts, actually. She never just seems to settle into a holding pattern. I don't think she likes me at all, and it doesn't help that I was forced to live with her.”
Dr. Diamond's eyebrows raised. “Oh? That's interesting.” She scribbled some more. Troy tried to get a look, but psychiatrists have worse handwriting than normal doctors. Then she turned to her computer and started typing.
“So, we don't have much time today since this was such short notice. You'll be on a normal appointment schedule starting next week, and we'll go for the whole hour. Does Wednesday work for you?”
“Yep,” he said, smiling. Talking about Ashanti left him in a really good mood. All bad feelings about their fight in the morning was gone.
“Great. I'm also going to get you back on that prescription. I can give you the generic version so it's cheaper. Your dosage before was a little low, but we'll start you there again and see how things go.”
Troy was all smiles on his way home. Us being thrown together, her not scaring me? Maybe that's fate, maybe we're meant to be. I want to see where this road leads us.
Chapter 6
Ashanti
“Yes. Thank you. Of course I won't do it again,” Ashanti said, standing outside of Hot Cakes. Grandma Ina and Grandma Rosa were both inside chatting with Glenda, but Ashanti had to call the head librarian before her shift that day.
Asking for a day off for her unexpected wedding was hard enough. She didn't want to do it in person, too. To her surprise, though, Jane had been somewhat understanding, as long as Ashanti gave her two weeks notice in the future. She could do that.
So why did she have a pit in her stomach?
Maybe it was just because she didn't like being seen as flaky or unreliable. Either way, the sense of dread followed her into the bakery and didn't even dissipate when Glenda pulled her in for a big hug.
“Oh, Ashanti! I'm so excited you're getting married! Where's the future husband? Is he handsome?”
“There he is!” Grandma Ina called out, pointing to the door filled with pride. You could say many things about the whirlwind of a woman, but she was proud and loving of her grandson. It was endearing to watch her beam at the sight of him.
They all turned to face the front door, watching Troy as he stepped inside. His hair was windswept from the ride on his motorcycle, his dog was at his side. “Hey, Grandma,” he said, looking a little uneasy. Roman sniffed the sweet air.
“Goodness gracious, girl, does he have a brother?” Glenda asked, wagging her eyebrows at her. Ashanti smiled and planted a kiss on Glenda's dark cheek. “You know I'm just kidding. My husband might be a right ass, but he's my ass. Do you mind if I give you a piece of advice about marriage?”
The others had walked away to look at the beautiful cakes on display. Glenda leaned in conspiratorially. “Sure, go ahead,” Ashanti said. Since her marriage was going to be weird and short-lived, she doubted any advice would apply to their situation.
“My husband always says that a perfect wife with imperfect brains will defeat an imperfect wife with perfect brains. So take that advice from him, for all its sexism I still think he's right.” She chuckled and shook her head. “Mine, though, is that you should have kids. A marriage without children knows very little real hardship, and hardship is where love blossoms.”
Kids? Never in a million years. Not with Troy, and maybe not even with the right guy. “Thank you, Glenda. I'm sure that will come in handy.” She wondered at the first bit of advice, though. Could a perfect wife still have perfect brains? That's what she would rather be… for the right guy. For Troy, she'll just be an imperfect wife with perfect brains. I'm sure I can learn how to be a wife when I actually need to know.
She smiled and followed Glenda, who showed them all a cake she was making for the mayor's daughter. “She's a bridezilla, girl, don't be like that. You're much more down to earth than all that.”
Troy's mouth quirked up, but he said nothing and looked at the ceiling when Ashanti shot him a warning glance. Stupid, beautiful, stubborn man. He was going to be a real handful as a husband.
In the kitchen, Glenda wheeled out a table with seven different cake flavors. “You have your standard chocolate, a richer chocolate for those with a real sweet tooth, standard vanilla, strawberry, and then some different textures of those flavors.” She winked at Ashanti. “I know strawberry isn't exactly standard for weddings, but it's Ashanti's favorite flavor so I had to let y’all give it a chance.”
Glenda had been a mother away from home for Ashanti all through her childhood. When she had a particularly bad day at school with the teasing, she would walk to Glenda's bakery and let the woman chat about her customers while she ate strawberry cupcakes. Honestly, Ashanti was surprised she hadn't ballooned during high school, she spent so much time at Hot Cakes.
They each took a fork of each flavor, one by one. Although Ashanti loved strawberry, the rich chocolate flavor was the one that really tickled her.
“So? Any thoughts?”
“I think we should do the strawberry,” Troy said first. Ashanti turned to look at him. When he had tasted the strawberry, he made a face that didn't look like he enjoyed it. Was he teasing her?
“No, I think we should go with the chocolate,” she said, putting her
hands on her hips.
“Uh oh,” Glenda whispered, raising her eyebrows at Grandma Rosa.
“Strawberry is fine. I like it, you like it.” Troy shrugged, then smiled.
Oh, no you don't. “I liked the chocolate more, Troy.”
“Now, you two quit that bickering. You aren't even married yet, you sound like me and Roy before he died,” Grandma Rosa said, laughing. Roy had been her husband, and it was true they bickered often but always out of love.
“Yes, there's an easy solution here. We can have a layer of each.” Ina looked to Glenda, who nodded in agreement.
“Two layers? Who all is coming?” Ashanti asked. “I kind of thought it would just be us.”
Grandma Rosa put up her hands and counted on her fingers. “Your aunt and uncle, and their two kids. So that's four. Plus Troy has an aunt and uncle.”
“And a friend. He'll be here on Thursday night,” Troy added. “He was in the army with me, and he's a great guy. Helped me through… a lot of stuff,” he finished quickly.
“So 7, plus us. And you'll want to keep a piece of cake to remember the wedding by. You can't go wrong with an extra layer.” Grandma Rosa said. Ina nodded in agreement.
“A double layer cake isn't how we usually do wedding cakes, but I know you're not exactly the normal kind of girl. It'll be delicious, so don't you worry,” Glenda said, smiling.
Ashanti wasn't worried about the weird cake, which she had to admit was more like a birthday cake than a wedding cake. She didn't care about that. She cared about her alcoholic aunt and uncle being there, plus people she didn't know and didn't particularly care to meet. Why didn't the grandmas understand that she was only going through with the wedding so she could keep her house? Were they really that dense?
Grandma Ina looked at her dainty watch on her dainty wrist. “Oh, it's only 2. What do you say we all swing by the florist next door to check out the flowers?”
Rosa led the way, with Ashanti in the back. Troy watched as Glenda pulled Ashanti in for another hug. “It's normal to be scared, to have second thoughts. If you need anyone to talk to, I'm here, you got that? I'm here.” Glenda left a wet kiss on Ashanti's forehead before shooing her out of the door.