by Jove Belle
“She needs help.” He hefted Sera’s body slightly, hitching her up and then returning to the original position. Sera groaned, the first sound she’d made since Marcus had caught her in the head with the pipe.
A group of armed men and women approached them, guns out and trained on Craig. One of them took Sera from him and handed her off to an EMT. Tor moved to go with her, and the guns shifted to include her.
“I’m sorry, ma’am, but you’re going to need to come with us.” A woman with aviator sunglasses and a sharp navy-blue suit guided Tor down the steps, one hand on her elbow to keep her from chasing after Sera.
She watched as they loaded her onto a stretcher, then pushed her into the back of the ambulance. Just like the last time she’d watched Sera leave her, Tor was helpless to stop it from happening.
*
Eleven Years Earlier
Tor lay in bed, naked and smelling of sweat and sex, as she watched Sera move through their apartment adding a few last-minute things to her bag. She wanted to somehow stop time, to make what was coming next never happen.
“You going to hide in there all day?” Sera asked. Even though she knew what came next, the same as Tor, she still wore that damn irritating, roguish smile that made Tor fall in love with her all over again.
“Maybe we should talk about this.” Tor didn’t know what else to say. No matter what she came up with, Sera was leaving. Logically, Tor knew it was the best thing, but that didn’t mean she was ready to let go.
Sera sat on the edge of the bed with a sigh. She wore only a spaghetti-strap tank top and a pair of panties Tor had picked up at Victoria’s Secret. Her outfit was distracting enough to make Tor forget all about talking.
“What do you want me to say?” Sera traced the edge of the blanket along Tor’s skin with her fingers. It was a careless motion done out of habit more than desire, but still she brought bumps to the surface of Tor’s skin. Something as final as good-bye didn’t change her body’s innate reaction. Sera turned her on without even trying.
Tor sat up and took Sera’s hand in her own. She couldn’t think with Sera’s hand on her. The blanket pooled around her waist, exposing her naked body and the signs of her desire that Sera always sparked. For her part, Sera didn’t stare at her like a woman who wanted to leave. Despite that, Tor knew Sera wouldn’t change her mind. Sera loved her, of that she was certain, but that love wasn’t enough to make her willing to hide who she was.
“You could tell me you’ve changed your mind.” She knew as she said the words that it was hopeless. The most she could hope for was to prolong Sera’s departure with a few more shared orgasms, but that would work for only so long. Eventually, she would get up and leave. There was only one thing Tor could say to change that. Unfortunately, it was the one thing Tor couldn’t say.
Sera kissed the exposed skin of her shoulder and then whispered in her ear. “I’ll stay if you want me to.”
And that’s where everything fell apart. As much as Tor loved Sera, she couldn’t change her reality. Her dad had found out about their relationship and had very politely given her a choice. She could stay with Sera and lose his funding for her studies, or she could continue to receive his financial help. He’d presented her options calmly, without a hint of malice, but his cool tone had done nothing to stop the rising resentment inside her. She’d always known he wouldn’t approve. Having a lesbian daughter marred his public image, and to him that was unforgiveable.
Because of that, she’d been careful, so fucking careful, and it hadn’t helped at all. She’d lived with Sera too many years in a row, gone without a boyfriend for long enough for him to take notice. Graduation was only a few months away. She’d almost made it. In the end, though, he’d still suspected.
If it was just a matter of making it through the next three months without his money, she could have done it. But things with her father were never that simple. Not only would he refuse to pay for future studies, but he’d threatened to make her pay back all he’d already spent on her education. He’d had his lawyer draw up a motion and was standing by waiting to file it, depending on Tor’s response. She knew no court would enforce an order like that if she challenged it, but challenging it would require her to hire a lawyer of her own. To put it simply, his power play would dump her life upside down.
As much as she wanted to tell him to go to hell, the timing made it impossible. She wasn’t in a position to defend herself. Sera knew that, but she refused to let go of the romanticized idea that their love could overcome all obstacles. Tor lived in reality. She didn’t see the point in taking a stand that would cost her everything now, when it would cost her nothing if she waited three months.
Tor had no choice but to agree to his demands. She’d done so with the expectation that Sera would agree to continue their relationship, only with a great deal more discretion—like separate living addresses. Sera had agreed to move out, but not the way Tor had hoped. Moving out meant the relationship was over.
“You know I don’t have any choice.”
“You have a choice. You just prefer the easy one.”
Unlike Tor, Sera had worked to support herself all through college. Her parents struggled financially and could barely afford to send the occasional care package. Frankly, Tor had expected her to be more sympathetic since she knew how hard it was to make her way through school without financial support from her mom. If she really loved Tor, she wouldn’t expect her to do it when she didn’t have to.
“Come on, Sera. You know it’s not that easy.”
Sera stood abruptly and sighed a lot louder than she had when she sat down. She found her pants on the floor and pulled them on, then her shirt. She’d slipped on a pair of sandals before Tor quite realized Sera was dressed and nothing else stopped her from leaving their apartment.
“Sera, please. Don’t leave like this.”
“What? Do you want me to act like this is okay? Like it doesn’t hurt that you love me less than your daddy’s money? You don’t even understand how fucked up that is, do you?”
“You know that’s not true.”
“You know what I know?” Sera picked up the manila folder the private investigator had dropped off the week before. She tossed it on the bed in front of Tor and pictures of the two of them spilled out. “What kind of man hires someone to follow his daughter? To take pictures? And still you choose him.”
The pictures, evidence that she loved Sera, should have made her feel good. In every one, Sera looked beautiful, happy, in love. And Tor looked the same. She was so much in love with Sera that she forgot when they were together. She forgot how her father had reacted when he found her with a girl when she was fourteen. She forgot the promise he’d made to disown her if she ever did anything like that again. She forgot the sting of his words and his hand across her face. She’d lived cautiously since then, hiding her relationships from him with ease. Until Sera.
Sera made her believe anything was possible and that’s when she slipped, holding Sera’s hand, dancing with her at a club, kissing her on the sidewalk. Every moment, every gesture of love captured on film.
What Tor needed from Sera was a little bit of understanding, a little bit of forgiveness and support. Instead, Sera was too selfish to see beyond her own needs. She said the same things over and over, about Tor not loving her enough, until the words blended into an angry hum in her mind.
“Fine then, go.”
Sera picked up her bag. They’d already moved the majority of her belongings to Remmy’s place. All she had left was an overnight bag and her backpack full of textbooks. “I would choose you no matter what. I would never, ever let someone else put a price tag on what we share.”
Tor didn’t know what else to say. She couldn’t make Sera understand, and she was too tired to keep fighting about it. Rather than responding, she rolled over in bed and pulled the blanket over her head. She stayed that way until she heard Sera softly say, “I love you, Tor,” followed by her quiet footsteps leading ou
t of the bedroom.
Tor rolled back over in time to catch one last glimpse of Sera’s back as she walked out the door.
Chapter Eighteen
Tor answered an endless barrage of questions. No, she didn’t know any of the bank robbers other than Sera. Yes, that really was blood covering every bit of the clothing she had on. No, she hadn’t realized Astrid was part of a terrorist organization until that morning. Yes, Sera had held her at gunpoint. No, she hadn’t realized the gun wasn’t loaded at the time. Yes, Edmund had been one of her employees. No, she didn’t know the other woman who died. Yes, she’d been afraid for her life. No, she didn’t want a goddamn blanket to wrap around her shoulders. Yes, Craig had helped them in the end. No, she’d never actually been afraid of Sera. Yes, she would like to go home and change. No, she didn’t have any plans to leave town.
She stared as Astrid was led out in handcuffs. Astrid held her head high and yelled something about corporate corruption and spreading the message of the LFA. Prior to that morning, Tor had thought Astrid was an agnostic, willing to believe in some sort of higher power, but not invested in any one philosophy or religion. How had she misunderstood this woman so badly? The self-doubt and fatigue made it hard to focus on the questions she was asked.
When one of the suits stopped talking, another jumped in. They asked the same questions over and over, sometimes with slight variations, but not always. Eventually, one of them explained they were FBI, as if the dark suits and aviators didn’t give that away. She’d watched enough episodes of Criminal Minds to know what a Fed looked like. Eventually, one of them, a woman, shook her hand and handed her a business card.
“Thank you for your time this morning. We’ll be in touch if we have any further questions.” With that, the woman turned and walked away without waiting for Tor to respond.
Tor read the name on the card. Elizabeth Morrigan.
“Wait!” She ran after them and grabbed the woman by the arm. “You’re Beth.”
The woman nodded and smiled slightly. “That’s right.”
“I talked to you on the phone,” Tor said dumbly.
“Yes.”
Tor’s face reflected back at her in the aviators, giving her a clear view of how hard the day had landed on her but blocking Beth’s eyes. It was like talking to a life-sized, emotionally void insect.
“You know Sera.”
“I do.” Beth responded with the same smooth polish that so far had proved uncrackable. Tor wanted to grab her shoulders and shake until the glasses flew off. She wanted to scream, “Sera! The one who was just whisked away in an ambulance! Unconscious!”
Instead she licked her lips and stared at the reflection of herself, searching for some sign of Beth through the lenses. “Is she okay?”
Beth shook her head. “We don’t know yet.”
“Where did they take her?” Tor felt like everything would be okay if she could just find Sera again. Thence would be able to get past this awful slushy feeling in her gut that said everything was wrong.
“I can’t release that information. I’m sorry.” Beth issued the apology with the emotional warmth of a robot, and Tor hated the mirrored glasses even more.
“I need—”
“Tor! Torrence! Over here.”
Tor glanced around Beth and saw her boss, Roger Bannon, frantically waving his arms from the other side of the police line. She closed her eyes. She barely had energy to stand, let alone meet with the regional vice president of America First.
“Are you okay?” Beth touched her elbow briefly, a brave decision considering the amount of gore covering her body.
“My boss is over there, trying to get across the line.”
“And you don’t want to talk to him.” Beth turned what would have been a question from anyone else into a statement.
“No. But I have to.”
“Today?”
Tor shrugged. “I’m the manager.” She didn’t really have a choice. If he wanted to talk now, she’d talk. It was her job, one she’d fought hard to get.
“You can’t do it in there.” Beth inclined her head toward the bank. They were standing on the sidewalk just outside the door while about five thousand crime-scene techs swept the building. Tor glanced over her shoulder, curious about when she’d be able to do anything in there again.
Beth called out to the officer and motioned for him to let Roger past the line. He stormed over.
“My God, Torrence, are you okay?” He looked genuinely concerned, but she couldn’t tell if it was for her or the money inside the building. She chose to believe his worried expression was directed at his employees rather than the bank’s assets.
“I will be.”
“Special Agent Beth Morrigan, Federal Bureau of Investigation.” Beth interrupted any further conversation by sticking one of her business cards in Roger’s hand.
Roger blustered. “Special Agent, what’s going on here? Why is my building locked down and why does my branch manager look like she’s been through a war?”
“I’m fine.” Tor didn’t sound fine. She sounded exhausted. Weak.
“Roger, should we go somewhere more quiet to discuss what happened here?”
She had no idea where that would be. She wasn’t presentable for a public setting, so that ruled out a nearby cafe, and she absolutely would not take him to her home to debrief over a cup of coffee.
“We’ll need to do that eventually, yes.” Roger sounded hesitant. He knew as well as she did the meeting had to take place. It comforted her to realize, however, that he wasn’t circling her body like a vulture waiting to descend at the first opportunity. “Where are the other employees?”
“Ms. Jewel was the last one out of the building. The other employees have been questioned and escorted home.”
“I see. Well, can you give me the highlights of what happened here so Torrence can go home as well?”
Beth nodded. “You can’t make a statement to the press yet.”
“I have to make one to the bank’s shareholders, though.”
“Fair enough. A group of individuals seized control of the bank by force, taking several people, including Ms. Jewel, hostage. They rigged explosives throughout the building. Fortunately, two of the three were disarmed before they were detonated. As of right now, the bank is secured and being processed as a crime scene.” Beth spoke dispassionately, as though she were reading a particularly boring report. It was an odd juxtaposition to the raw energy Tor had been pounded with all day.
“That’s it?” Roger squawked.
“That’s all I can tell you. The rest is classified.”
Roger looked from Beth to Tor, as if waiting for her to fill in the details.
“She’s not allowed to discuss any further details either, not yet. The rest will be released as soon as we wrap up the investigation.”
“So, I guess that means I can go?” Tor was pushing, but God, she was suddenly so tired. All she wanted was a shower. And a thousand-year nap. And to find Sera.
“You are. Let me escort you to your vehicle.” Beth held out her arm in the universal “after you” gesture. Tor glanced at Roger, waiting for him to release her as well.
“Go ahead. Get some rest. We’ll talk later.”
Tor nodded. She hoped later didn’t come too soon. She stepped away with Beth at her side. “Thanks.”
She drew herself taller as they walked. With the way she felt, she’d be lucky if she didn’t collapse in a fit of tears on top of the next person who looked at her kindly.
“You helped thwart a terrorist today. The least I can do is run interference with your boss.” Beth smiled, and this time it almost looked genuine. “Let me give you a ride home. You can get your car later.”
“I’d rather not. I’m okay to drive. I swear.” The thought of Beth driving her home sounded heavenly, to be able to sit back, relax, and let someone else navigate traffic. But she didn’t want to worry about her car. The thought of returning here later that day, when it was da
rk, was just too much to even consider.
Beth inclined her head in acquiescence. “Lead the way.”
They circled the building to the vehicle entrance to the parking garage. The only other way, through the elevator, had been effectively blocked by the single charge Marcus had detonated.
She found her car covered in debris and sitting halfway in the next parking space over. She kicked the tire and whimpered as her toes struck hard rubber. This day could not possibly have sucked any harder.
“Looks like I’ll be giving you that ride after all.”
*
Tor was torn between a long hot bath and quick shower. God knew, her body ached and her brain was beyond frizzled. The bath would soothe all those rough edges. On the other hand, a shower would get her to Sera that much quicker. As soon as she figured out where Sera was.
She let the shower run as she stripped off her clothes and dropped them into the trash. They were thick with blood, none of her own, thank goodness. There was no way it would ever come out. Even if it did, she’d never be able to look at that outfit without seeing the bloodstains, thicker at the knees where she’d knelt next to Edmund as he bled to death. She’d never be able to pull the shirt on without feeling the stiffness of dried blood on otherwise supple fabric.
Steam filled the bathroom and her reflection faded in the mirror. That’s the way the whole day had gone; one minute everything was clear, then next it was clouded and impossible to navigate safely. And yet she’d made it through alive. She couldn’t quite figure out how or why.
Sera.
Tor slipped into the shower and let the hot water sluice over her body. Rust-colored water swirled at her feet, and she went through half a bottle of body wash trying to get it to rinse away clear. When it finally did, she sighed with exhaustion and relief. She stood with her head lowered, the water making her scalp tingle as it sprayed over her. Through the apple freesia scent of her soap, she could still smell the acrid copper of blood. Was that the kind of taint she could ever really wash off?