by Autumn Karr
I put on the first shirt and jeans that I spot. Then I go downstairs to my uncle's study. I can't hide this from him. I guess I’ll just have to suck it up, proving to everyone I’m a failure.
The voices get louder as I descend the stairs, a fear creeping up my spine. I don't know what's going on, but it doesn't look good. There are at least five men in front of Frank’s study, all listening in, trying not to be obvious. They part as I pass. It's completely ridiculous. I knock on his door, and one of them, Jake, I think, opens it for me.
Stevie turns around when I enter, giving me a sneer when I eye the angry red scratch across his cheek. “There he is.”
“What's going on?” I ask.
“Your girl escaped last night,” Stevie replies, and I don't miss the implication in his words. But I don't react to it either.
“What do you mean escaped?” I ask, though secretly I'm relieved. “Wasn’t anyone on watch?”
Frank's eyes lock onto mine. “Well, yes, she tried to escape.”
I move closer to them, making sure I don't change my demeanor and give anything away. She didn't escape. To say a chill runs through me is an understatement. Someone got her. And all because I was careless.
And as I stand in front of Frank's desk, a whimper in the back of the room catches my attention. Frank and Stevie are looking at me, their gazes burning holes through my head, gauging my reaction. I don't turn around even though I want to. I should see the consequences of what I did. But damage control is more important right now. If I turn around, I give them what they want.
“Stevie was there,” my uncle finally says. A surge of pride goes through me because the scratch on his cheek has a whole new meaning now.
“Yeah, I was there,” Stevie says, looking over my shoulder. Don't turn around.
“You've been careless, Devon. She stole the key from Hayley,” Frank adds.
At this I do turn around, curious because we both know that's not the truth. I find her sitting in the corner, her hands bound with duct tape. There are cuts all over her feet. Her shirt is torn, exposing her bra and all the way down to her navel. Her bottom lip is bloodied and swollen, her hair a tangled mess.
I relax my fist, the exact opposite of what I really want to do. I mask my expression, even though her eyes are pleading with me. Her face crumples when she sees me shutting off, and I wish more than anything I could go to her and tell her it's all a show. I turn back to Stevie and Frank instead, mask in place.
“Marky got carried away,” Stevie says, shrugging nonchalantly. Idiot. When all of this is over, however it ends, I'll make sure he dies the worst death possible.
I nod in approval. “Good, that should teach her.”
“She's becoming a problem, Devon,” Frank says.
“I'll make sure it doesn't happen again.”
“No, I want her gone. I'll have one of my guys do it.”
I look at him, stunned. “If she turns up dead it's practically a red flag for Keith,” I say, keeping my tone even, controlled. “We've come so far. Do we want to fuck it all up now?”
He folds his arms over his chest, raising his eyebrows. I don't think I've ever defied him before. “Don't worry; he'll make sure she doesn't turn up dead. He'll make sure she doesn't turn up, period.”
“Can you even do it?” This from Stevie. “Or are you going all soft because she's a fine piece of meat? Can't say I blame you, after last night.” My eyes flash, a terrifying thought crossing my mind. Would Marky get that carried away? Did Stevie do something to her? “She fought like a little beast, the spitfire. Must be a pleasure to have that pinned beneath you, all pliant and submissive,” Stevie finishes, licking his lips, and adjusting himself.
If I don't leave the room right now, I'll just kill him on the spot.
“Stevie, I'm sure you're just dying to draw blood,” I say politely. “But unlike you, I’m not about to get carried away here.” His eyes narrow at that, but I ignore it. “I brought her here, she's my responsibility, I'll deal with her.” I turn to my uncle. “Are we good?”
His eyes flash with something unrecognizable, but then it's back to the usual indifference. “I guess you'll just have to prove it to me.”
“And I will. Now, this whole thing needs to go down as planned, otherwise it's no use. If one of them lives, and that includes her,” I say, gesturing with my thumb over my shoulder, “it's all for nothing.”
“You're right,” Frank says, glancing at Stevie, then back at me. “We need to keep our heads cool.”
“Thank you, sir.” I turn to walk over to her and take her away from this room, but Frank's words stop me.
“Who is she?” he asks me, and the way he says it leaves no doubt he expects an answer. He wants to make sure I remember who I am.
I continue making my way to her, looking at her in what I hope embodies disgust. She scrambles away from me, and I don't blame her. “She's a Moore,” I say, playing along with this game of his.
“And what about them?”
I lower myself to a crouch, taking her face in my hands. I remind myself it's not the time to assess the damage. She tries to look away, and I follow her eyes, giving her no choice but to meet my gaze and when she finally does, it breaks my heart. I don't want to tell her this.
“They killed my whole family,” I say, looking into her eyes, an almost desperate tone to my voice. Please understand. Disbelief colors her expression, and she starts shaking her head. I hold it steady, dreading the next words I have to say. “And they will pay for it.”
She squeezes her eyes shut and a tear slides down her cheek.
“Good,” I hear Stevie say behind me.
I drag her up by her shoulder, adding more force to it than necessary. She cries out in pain, the sound ripping my heart. I push her toward the door and open it, the men in front of it pretending they weren't listening in. They watch me with approval as I all but drag her on the floor toward the stairway.
We round the corner, leaving their murmurs behind, and I stop and take her in my arms. Her body goes limp in my hold, all fight seemingly gone out of her as I carry her up to the third floor. I don't say anything, because what else can I say? I'm sure I've said it all, and she's not stupid.
She knows the way our world works, and why we were a mistake from the very start. That she should have never hoped for anything when it came to me, because ultimately, we're enemies, and you can't afford to have mercy for your enemies. She knows all of it.
I take her straight to the bathroom and set her on the counter. She leans back against the cool tiles while I turn on the water in the sink, adjusting it to the right temperature. I turn back to her and take her bound hands in mine, using my pocketknife to cut the duct tape off, and revealing the angry marks around her wrists. I rub my thumbs over them, my vision clouding with rage. I take a washcloth and run it under the water, then bring it to her face to clean it up. She doesn't even flinch when I make contact, wiping away the blood around her mouth. When I'm done and her face is clean, I lean in and kiss her swollen lip.
“I'm so goddamn sorry this happened,” I murmur against her lips, my voice breaking. I'm sure she knows I don't mean just the cuts and bruises on her face. There are things deep beneath the skin I need to apologize for.
She doesn't respond. Her eyes are unfocused, like she's looking right through me. I wouldn't want to look at me either, if I was her.
I wet the washcloth again, then take her small feet into my hands, wiping around the cuts. Why didn't she wear the goddamn shoes?
I turn the shower on, making sure the water is a good temperature.
“I'll give you some privacy,” I tell her. She just shakes her head, a dazed expression on her face.
* * * *
It feels like she's inside the shower forever. I have a brief thought that she might try and hurt herself in there, but I don't really believe it. It just doesn't seem like her.
The door opens, and she walks out, stark naked, not looking at me. I try not to
ogle, because it's really inappropriate and there's nothing sexual about it. She walks straight to the bed and climbs on it, and just sits there in the middle of it.
I get up and walk over to her. I take out a shirt from the dresser and a pair of panties and bring them over to her. She doesn't resist me when I pull the shirt over her head, hiding her body from my hungry eyes. I run my hands through her wet hair, savoring the silky feel of it. She takes the underwear from my lap and pulls them on herself, then lies down on the bed, tucking her elbow under her head.
I follow suit, lying down on my side, facing her. She brings her free hand up to my face, her hesitant touch whispering over my cheek. I close my eyes and lean into her hand, feeling like a hypocrite because I know she's trying to comfort me for what I just told her.
“I wish you were someone else,” she whispers, and I hear the tears in her voice. My eyes open and I kiss her wrist hovering over my mouth, wiping away the single tear streaking her cheek with my thumb.
“Me, too,” I say, and I've never meant anything more than I do those two words.
LEIGHTON
I wake up in the afternoon, if I can tell by the faint darkness I see through the sole window in the room.
When it all hits me, I still feel numb. Being locked in this room, Devon lulled me into a false sense of security. With him around, sure, I was scared, but I wasn't terrified, and I was sure I was getting out of this alive because Devon would take care of me.
I don't know why I thought it. He hasn't really done anything to make me think that. But somewhere deep down, I thought he would make sure I was okay, at the end of the day.
Being in the arms of those slimy men, being taunted and leered at, I realized how stupid I've been. It's not just Devon in this house; it's not just him who makes final decisions.
Devon's uncle is cold and unfeeling. I have no idea how he grew up with that. He is not like him, at all.
My breath hitches when I remember the moment I thought Stevie was going to rape me.
My family killed his? I glance over at Devon, hoping that it isn't true, but knowing it probably is. This whole thing is so messed up. How can he even look at me? He must despise me. He's been putting up with my shit this whole time when he didn't have to, all the while knowing that my family destroyed his.
When I saw him in his uncle's office I could have cried in relief. But the Devon I saw at that moment was a person I've never seen before, not even when he brought me here first. I never want to see that Devon again. He was cold, distant and emotionless, the kind of man who could look someone in the eye and kill them without an ounce of remorse. It scared the shit out of me.
I lay my face on his warm chest, glad that the trembling has finally stopped. We hadn't said much to each other before falling asleep, but I appreciate him holding me, making me feel safe, even if it isn't real. It looks like I'm going to pay for the sins of my family with my own life.
I guess this is what my life is about, right? Has always been about; family, pride and loyalty. Although I haven't killed anyone, I bear the sins of my last name, and now I face the consequences.
I have been envied my whole life for my status, wealth and material possessions.
If only they could see me now. I stifle a sob, thinking no money on the world will save me out of this situation.
“Hey,” Devon says, pulling me closer.
“I'm sorry,” I tell him, not knowing how to make this better. He makes a sound deep in his throat, but doesn't reply. Really, what is there to say? It's not okay, nothing can be forgiven or overlooked, and it doesn't matter how I feel about him because it doesn't change anything.
Devon rubs soothing circles on my back, offering me what comfort he can. He may wear his mask so well, but underneath I know that he’s a good man. He didn't deserve to lose his family.
Will my death really give him peace? This is the last thing I think before falling asleep again.
* * * *
“Morning,” I say, when I see Devon awake and watching me, propped on his elbow.
“You okay?” he asks, his voice thick with sleep.
I nod, because we both know I’m not, but that it doesn’t really matter.
“What’s your plan for today?” I ask him, my voice wavering slightly.
He stretches his arms over his head. “I have something to do, but I’ll try to get it done as soon as I can.”
“Okay,” I say, grateful that he wouldn’t be leaving me alone all day.
“Are we going to talk about what happened?” he asks, studying my expression.
Averting my gaze, I stare down at my hands. “There’s nothing to say.”
“Tell me what happened.”
“I ran. They caught me.” I shrug like it’s no big deal.
“Did they hurt you?”
My head lifts sharply. “You mean did they . . . ”
“Touch you,” he says, his voice soft, almost breaking. He swallows hard, waiting for my answer.
“No, I mean. Stevie squeezed my . . . ” I gesture at my chest nervously. He nods, understanding. “But that’s it. I think he wanted to . . . and the other one held me.”
“Fucking assholes,” Devon growls, his hands turning to fists.
“I struggled, so that’s when they were rough, but then your uncle came out, and they backed off. I was scared, Devon. The look they had in their eyes, it terrified me,” I admit, closing my eyes.
“You didn’t tell them I left the door open. Why?” he demands, his voice hardening.
“Why, Leighton?” he repeats when I don’t reply.
“Why do you think?” I spit back at him, hating him for asking this question.
He puts his hand on my sore shoulder lightly, careful not to hurt me. “Tell me. I want—I need to know why you'd protect me, after everything?”
“Because of this,” I snap, leaning forward and capturing his lips with my own. He responds instantly, taking my mouth in a punishing kiss. He starts to suck on my bottom lip, and I run my hand up his shirt, feeling each taut muscle of his six-pack. He moans at the contact, but gently pushes me away.
“Fuck,” he whispers, sounding defeated.
“I know what’s going to happen,” I say sadly, huffing out a breath. “I know it doesn’t change anything, but right now I don’t care. Kiss me, Devon.”
Slowly, he brings his lips to mine, and gently kisses me. He pulls back a little before kissing me deeper, his tongue tasting mine. I make a sound in my throat when he gently sucks on my bottom lip, carefully avoiding the cut on it.
The door suddenly opens, and we pull away from each other, but not quick enough.
“What the fuck, Devon?” Hayley says, her eyes wide in disbelief. She looks shocked, but I don’t miss the flash of anger that crosses her face when she looks me straight in the eyes.
“Hales,” he says, sitting up in bed. She turns and leaves, slamming the door behind her. Devon jumps out of bed, but to my surprise he kisses me quickly on the forehead before following her out. The sound of the door locking makes me squeeze my eyes shut.
DEVON
I stuff the keys in my pocket, running after Hayley. I don't reach her until she's outside, and I see her retreating figure heading toward her car.
“Hales, wait up,” I yell after her. She stops, her shoulders squared. I jog to where she's standing and turn her around to face me. The expression on her face surprises me. I fully expected her to be . . . I don't know. Sad, devastated, brokenhearted.
Why did I even expect that? She's the one that broke up with me.
No, she's livid, now, fuming.
“What the fuck were you thinking in there, Devon? I could have been anyone. Anyone!”
I raise my hands up in a calming gesture.
“Don't treat me like I'm some raging lunatic. Are you fucking crazy? You didn't even lock the fucking door. You're lucky it was just me. You could have just lost everything over some slut.”
“Hey, now,” I say, a serious tone
to my voice.
“Then what was that? If I walked in there a few minutes later would I have seen something far more compromising? You denying what I just saw?”
I could. I could tell her it's not what it looked like and she'd take my word for it, but I don't want to lie to her. I never did. And it's exactly what it looked like.
“Thought so,” she says smugly, her hands on her hips. She sighs. “You're never so careless.”
“I know,” I tell her, glad that she seems to understand. “I can't seem to do anything right these days.”
Her eyes find mine. “You can talk to me. I wish you never stopped.”
I swallow, hard. I stopped talking to her, my best friend, because there are things she's better off not knowing. I couldn't tell her how torn I felt about myself, about who I am, who I want to be. The reasons that make me question everything about me. She just wouldn't understand.
And, if I'm honest, I don't want to hurt her. I hate to admit it, but she was never it. She knows it, too, it's why she broke up with me—not that she loved me either, but she doesn't need me throwing it in her face.
So I ignore her pleading eyes and say, “What are you doing here?” instead.
Her shoulders slump, defeated. Another sigh. “I came to check on you. Dad said I should,” she says, and then shakes her head. “But you seem to be doing just fine.”
“Hales,” I start, but she interrupts me, lifting her palm in front of my face.
“No, I'm not letting you off the hook. I'm not letting you destroy everything you've done so far for that . . . ” I give her a hard look, daring her to say it again. I know she doesn't even think of Leighton as a slut. Hayley is not one of those girls who talks shit about other people. “For that girl,” she finishes.
“I'm not.”
“Then explain, please.”
I glance at my watch, though what I have to do doesn't have a time schedule. “Can it wait? There's something I have to do first.”
“Now?” Her face is a picture of disbelief.