I can’t think.
Everything goes completely still.
He means it.
Zack eyes burn into mine, demanding a response.
“I’m yours,” I murmur, sniffling, completely captivated by him.
He kisses my forehead, wiping my runny nose with his hand that he swipes on his shirt afterwards and then tosses it off and throwing to the floor, exposing his tattooed chest and arms. He lies back down. I rest my head over his heart and listen to the strong beats, marveling.
How can someone have such a strong and willing heart?
He wraps his arms around me, squeezing me lightly again. “I’m a screw-up. I know this, but don’t let me screw this up. Yeah?”
“Okay,” I whisper, my fingers idly tracing the raven feathers on his ribs.
Zack shudders, his breath quickens and his heart pounds a little faster.
All because of me.
Because of me.
Why do I feel so safe lying in his arms?
The meadow isn’t that far away and yet I stay in the lion’s den, terrified but fully prepared to get bitten.
My hands reach the hem of my ice blue camisole and I yank it off, tossing it somewhere to the side. Leaning forward, I press a light kiss on my name that he has tattooed over his heart in massive cursive letters.
A violent shudder moves through him and he groans, rolling on top of me.
My hands shift into his soft shoulder-length black hair, tugging him closer to me.
He pauses and stares at me for a long moment, weighing my need.
“Please,” I whisper, wrapping my legs around his waist. “I need you, Zack.”
He closes his eyes, face contorted as if pained. Then he leans forward, running his nose along mine. “I need you more, Rain.”
I reach up and touch his hot cheek.
His eyes flutter open with a sudden heartbreaking tenderness. He smiles, eyes locked on my face. “Babe, charge your phone after. Yeah?”
Smiling back, I murmur, “Okay.”
He reaches for the box of condoms on the nightstand. Zack pulls one out and rips the foil open with his teeth as his other hand drags down his jeans, hurriedly undoing his belt buckle. Clothes are torn off until we both lie naked and gasping for breath that we can’t seem to catch. I watch him with burning anticipation as he rolls the condom on and in one swift move he his inside of me. I can’t conceal the fact he makes my eyes roll to the back of my head. “Always so fucking wet.”
I shut my eyes tight as he begins to move. My insides are already quivering. The sensation is nirvana. “Always for you.”
He harshly grasps my jaw and my lids fly open. His eyes are dark sapphires and I vaguely wonder if I look as untamed as he does. “Only for me,” he hisses in my ear, correcting me.
Half moaning, half grunting I come. My orgasms with Zack are always brutal and consuming. But his doesn’t slow his pace. He always fucks me through them. Zack captures the strangled sounds that are coming from me with is mouth. He doesn’t stop until he finds his own release and until he’s satisfied that I am nothing more than a heap of trembling flesh beneath him.
Will everything with him be as passionate and as…fatal?
Part Three
Lion resting in the meadow…
“You’re serious?” Tate asks, astounded. “You’re staying?”
“Yep,” I say as I kick his ass in a Call of Duty game.
He shoves his hands through his hair, brows pulled together, clearly displeased. “What the hell?”
“I know, Tate. You’re lagging behind,” I grumble, ripping into a zombie.
He pauses the game, turning his entire torso to look at me. “You’re staying?”
I sit the Xbox controller in my lap, meeting his bewildered, infuriated gaze. “Umm…yeah. I’ll be okay. I promise.”
He shakes his head in disagreement. “I don’t believe you, Rain.”
“I love you, Tate.”
His confusion deepens. He blinks a few times, processing my words. “What?”
“I love you,” I whisper a notch lower, pain building in my chest form the emotion crossing his face.
“Rain,” he breathes, eyes widen, body rigid. He shuts his eyes and takes a deep breath, and when he opens them, they’re blazing. “You can’t say shit like that to me. You disarm me every time I’m about to rip you a new asshole. It’s not fair, Rain. It’s not fucking fair because,” he takes a deep inhale, eyes losing focus, “I love you, too. More and more every day.” He sits his controller on the couch beside him. Then he leans forward. I stay perfectly still, not wanting to lean away. His lips are an inch away from mine, and I hold his intense gaze, my lips parted so I can take in his delicious breath. “I will never give up on you.”
I close my eyes tight as his words wreck me.
He places a gentle kiss on the side of my neck, on my yellowing bruise.
I’m half disappointed and half relieved that he didn’t kiss me on the lips. Half disappointed because I wanted to feel his lips on mine, even if it was just a short moment, and relieved because I probably couldn’t stop myself after just one kiss.
Tate has always handled me with care.
Gasping, my fingers curl in his silky hair as my entire body pulses in delightful tingles.
My hands jerk in his hair when he tries to pull away. I open my eyes to find him grinning down at me with deep and conflicting emotions in his green eyes. “Don’t look at me like that,” he murmurs.
“Like what?”
“Like I-want-to-do-you-right-here-on-the-floor look.”
My hands twitch in his hair again, and he smiles, kissing both my arms before I release him.
“I need a drink,” he says, pulling me up to him.
“You want to go out tonight?”
His phone vibrates. Tate digs in his pocket and pulls it out, frowning at the number.
“Nikki?”
He sighs, ignoring the call. “Yeah. I still think we should get our numbers changed. She’s nuts. I swear I’m going to end up on Snapped one day.”
“I wouldn’t let her hurt you,” I whisper.
“Good to know, cupcake.” He smiles and reaches out to touch my face, staring at me for an infinite about of time.
“What are you doing?” I finally ask, giggling.
“You seem like a dream, I had to make sure you were real,” he says. “Cheesy I know, but real regardless.”
I move his hand on my chest, over my heart. “Real I am.”
He drops his head, closing his eyes, hand still stretch out to my chest.
“Tate, are you alright?” I ask, my stomach fluttering.
“This is music to my ears.”
The rhythm of my heart changes, it beats harder and faster. “Tate,” I breathe, my arms curling around his neck.
He opens his eyes, staring into mine. “I’m lost every time I look into those milk chocolate eyes.” Tate urges me to the floor, and I hold his searing gaze.
My hands shift under his shirt, feeling his abs and smooth skin.
His hands glide up my thighs, pulling up the sides of my dress with his palms. His fingers are splayed on top of the waistband of my tights. Tate’s hand settles between my legs. I inhale sharply.
How can this be wrong and feel so right?
My body arches and my eyes shut as his hand dips past the waistband of my panties. My hands move to the tops of his shoulders, breathing unevenly.
“All this for me?” he whispers in awe as his fingers glide through my arousal.
I open my eyes to find him gazing back at me in a mixture of desire, wonder, amazement, and sadness.
He leans forward, pressing his lips against mine.
Moaning, I open my mouth and he slips his tongue in. My hands move to his hair and I yank.
He growls, sending my hormones into a wild frenzy.
“I want you,” I say softly, hooking my legs around his waist, pushing him closer to me.
Tate remove
s his hand and stares at me for a moment. Then he smiles with a certain gleam in his eyes. “Okay.” His hands fumble to the button on his jeans when a car alarm goes off. He pauses, resting his clammy forehead in the crook of my neck. “I think that’s your car.” He leans away and pulls up my tights, kissing me before he helps me to my feet.
I grab my coat from the back of the kitchen chair and slip it on, retrieving the keys from my pocket. Tate walks behind me as we step outside of his apartment.
I switch the alarm off, bewildered. Across the windshield is the word whore painted in bold red letters. The sides of the doors are scratched and the gas tank is open with an empty bag of sugar on the pavement.
“Nikki,” he accuses angrily. He steps in front of me as if shielding me from something. “Go back inside and lock the door until I come back,” he says calmly but urgently.
“Okay.” I take in my beaten black Mercedes my parents got me for my twenty-first birthday and then dash inside, locking the door behind me. Pulling out my phone I call Zack. He answers on the first ring. He always answers my calls on the first ring.
“What’s wrong, babe?”
“Nikki trashed my car; sugar is in the tank and everything.”
“Where are you?”
“Tate’s place,” I reply, peeking out the window blinds. Nikki steps out of her Lexus and starts to frantically hit Tate in his chest, crying and shouting angrily at the top of her lungs.
“Stay where you are. Be there in ten.”
He ends the call.
I shove the phone back in my coat pocket, still watching Tate and Nikki. He lets her little fists pound away until she tires and stops, sobbing heavily. He throws his arms around her, causing her to lean completely into him. He caringly strokes her back as she buries her face in his shirt. He whispers something in her ear. She nods and takes a reluctant step back. He begins to stride towards the door.
I back away from the window and open the door when he knocks. “Is everything alright?” I ask.
He sighs and shakes his head. “No. I’ll catch you up on everything tonight.” He grabs his jacket off the couch and throws it on, snatching his car keys off the counter. “Lock up the place after you leave. I’ll call you so we can meet up for drinks later.”
“Okay,” I whisper, following him to the door. But the doorknob turns and a pale-faced Nikki steps in. White bandages on both wrists peek out from her cream-colored trench coat as she shuts the door.
“Nikki, I thought I told you to wait for me outside,” Tate says softly.
Nikki stares at me with empty and wide gray eyes. “I was, but I had to apologize to Rain.” She paws through her leather purse and pulls out a white envelope. “I’m sorry, Rain.” She reaches out to hand me the envelope, and I take it. “It’s four thousand, cash. I know it’s not much…but I want you to have it, for the car.” She takes a deep breath and tries to form her trembling lips into a smile when she glances up at Tate.
Tate nods and opens the door, wary eyes locked on her. “See you later, Rain.”
“Okay.”
I watch as they get into his silver Range Rover and drive off.
After a few minutes pass, there’s a hard knock on the door. I open it to find Zack, his features stiff in anger. “Ready?”
“Yes.” I turn off the game and the TV and switch off all the lights, locking the bottom lock before I shut the door.
My car is already getting towed when I step out into the pouring rain with Zack. “That was fast,” I murmur, walking to his black Mustang.
“Yeah. The fuel filter and carburetor is jacked. It shouldn’t take me long to replace them, though.”
We glide into his car. I strap on my seatbelt, passing him the white envelope. “It’s four thousand. Nikki gave it to me. Will it be enough?”
He stares at it in my hand and then looks up at me. “Baby, you know I got you. Spend it on yourself.”
Wow! He’s taking this really good. It’s completely unexpected; I thought he’d be fuming with rage.
I stuff the envelope in my coat pocket, glancing over at him, smiling as he cranks the engine. He turns to me, grinning a charming grin. “What’s with the gigantic smile?”
“You’re taking this better than I thought you would.”
He opens the glove compartment and pulls out a small square-shaped card, passing it to me. It’s psychiatrist business card. “Dr. Green?”
“Yeah. I asked you if I need help and you said yes. So I’m going to get help. I’m not going to mess us up and make it easy for you to leave me. I can change; I just need you to believe in me.”
I lean over and kiss his cheek. “I always have.”
Part Four
The cherished oils of a crushed daisy…
“You’re wearing that?” he asks, eyes scanning my long-sleeved white and gold dress and black boots.
“Yes,” I answer, crossing my arms. “The dress isn’t that short—it stops just above my knees.”
His eyes run down the length of the dress again, thoroughly taking me in. “Short no, tight yes. And you’re just going to a bar?”
“Yes.”
“With Tate?”
“Yes.”
“And you’re just friends?”
The guilt hits me like a brick to the face, the impact leaves me breathless and shaky. “He’s my best friend.”
His eyes catch everything. He sits up straighter on the sofa, brows pushed together and body rigid. “Baby, what’s wrong?”
Sighing, I sit down beside him, placing a hand on his lap. “Zack, you know I love you, right?”
He moves his hand to my neck, massaging the tense muscles there. “Yeah.”
I hold his gaze for a moment and then blurt out, “We kissed.”
His hand jerks on the back of my neck, squeezing. I wince but not from his firm hold on my neck. It’s from the wounded expression on his face. “Did you sleep with him?”
“No! But I did want to,” I admit. “I’m sorry. I love you, Zack.”
Without saying say a word, he gets up and turns his back to me, punching the living room wall again and again, grunting, and breaking right through the drywall relentlessly. He’s like a deranged wild animal. His fists probably could crack through concrete if he wanted to. Zack pounds away until he’s heaving, gasping, and completely exhausted.
Suppressing my fear, I stand and cautiously walk over to him. Blood is smeared all over the wall from his raw knuckles that rest in huge cracked dents. I throw my arms around his middle, kissing his heated back.
He shudders, leaning forward and resting his forehead on the wall, breathing heavily.
I tighten my hold on him as he glides down to the floor, resting on his knees.
He hunches forward, gripping the grey carpet under him as if he’d disappear without it. “I…can’t…lose…you.”
“You won’t. I’m right here,” I reassure, still holding him.
I’m about to release him when he whispers, “Please. Hold me a little longer.”
My arms grow firmer as I bury my face in his heaving back. “Okay.” This moment is breaking my heart.
I don’t know how long I hold him, but his pounding heart slows to a steady rhythm and his breathing in normal again.
“Do you remember when we first met?” he finally asks quietly.
“At the hospital a year ago.”
He chuckles sadly. “We both brought our moms to the ER at the same time. We had to wait in the waiting room while they got checked out. You just happen to sit beside me. I glanced at your face and noticed that you were frightened, I was scared too...”
“You were close and looked you needed some comfort, but then you tried to make me laugh with a bad joke,” I say, laughing from the memory.
He chuckles again. “What did the blanket say to the bed?”
“Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered,” I say, giggling.
“It worked, though. You cracked a smile and it completely wrecked me. I knew I was
yours from that point on. I was ruined.”
I give him squeeze. I still feel guilty that my mother went in for a migraine and his mother never came back out alive.
“I lost my mom that same night from a heart attack. She was healthy; it was stress that killed her. She was always concerned about me—her only child. I was her world and she was mine. You stayed with me and held me the entire night while I wept like a baby in your arms. I was a complete and total stranger yet you stayed with me.”
“When my mom was discharged, I didn’t want to let you go. I couldn’t.”
“So don’t,” he whispers.
My heart is going to split from his despair. “Okay.”
We stay on the floor for a while, both on our knees, my cheek pressed against his warm back. “Let’s get up from this floor.” I release him and he stands then turns to face me. He smiles as he towers over me. He tilts his head to the side, glossy eyes twinkling with affection, love, and darkness. “I like you in that position.”
I tip my head back. “Oh yeah? Are you going to keep me here all night?”
He gives me a closed-mouth smile, holding out his hand.
I take it and we stroll towards the bedroom where we rest on the mattress, continuing to hold one another. “You can still go out if you want,” he murmurs, fingers caressing my back.
“No, I’ll stay. You need me more.”
“I need you always.”
A smirk crosses my face. “I need you now.”
He grins, sitting up to drag his shirt over his head. “Ask and you shall receive.”
I toss off my dress and then reach down to unzip my boots when he says, “No, leave them on. I want to test your riding skills, cowgirl. You on top.”
My heart beats so hard it hurts.
I straddle his as he reaches for a condom.
And then my phone rings.
Bending, I rest my forehead in the crook of his neck. He passes me my cell and I answer it without looking at the number on the screen.
“Hello?”
“I can’t make it.” It’s Tate.
“That’s cool. Something came up, anyway.” I kiss Zack’s neck and he shivers, his hands grasping both sides of my hips.
Rain (Rain a short story) Page 2