by Kaira Rouda
“What are you talking about?”
“I need someone to care for me. And if it won’t be you tonight, it will be him,” Jud said, a smile forming on his face. He’d discovered his moment of truth. Everything would be fine. He took a deep breath and reached for his wife’s hand. “I’m gay, Sarah, but I’ve always loved you and our daughter. I’ve decided to recommit to our life together, yours and mine. I’ve broken things off with Tom romantically, and I won’t travel as often. I’ll be here. It’s the right thing to do, especially now. My family needs me. The community needs me. I just thought you should know.” Jud pushed his hair off his forehead and patted her hand.
Sarah stood up, her arms crossed at her chest. “What did you just say to me?”
“I said I’m recommitting to our life together,” Jud said, although he was growing concerned with the look on her face. She had turned tomato red. That’s what happened when she was mad, very mad.
“You know, I had my suspicions, especially the past couple of years. I saw the other name on your itinerary. First-class seats for your travel companions seemed odd, but they were always men so I figured they were other surgeons and they were reimbursing you. But then I started noticing the same name accompanying you on every trip. Your helpful assistant, Tom Stultz. I checked our American Express statements, and you paid for all of his flights. I had the proof but I chose to ignore it,” Sarah said, backing away from his bed.
“Look, honey, it doesn’t matter. All of that is in the past. The future is what matters. Ashley matters. We’ll get through this together,” Jud said. He was still smiling, hopeful it was catching.
“You are a bastard. A liar. This—whatever this is, you and I—is a myth. I will see you in court,” Sarah said. She was shaking all over. Jud worried she may have a stroke. He knew he could get her back under control, he always had. He thought by sharing his new resolve she’d love him more, respect his honesty, and they’d work things out.
“Sarah, you’re overreacting,” he said.
She gave him one last look, her eyes narrow and face bright red, and hurried out of the room.
He would have to give her time. Apparently he shouldn’t have mentioned his former life. This probably wasn’t the best time, he realized now. But it was over. He would tell Tom to find someone else. It would hurt him, but he would understand. Jud thought maybe he should also work on placing his assistant with a different doctor, perhaps across the country. Yes, that would make his new life easier to maintain. He’d send his former lover to Florida. Tom always loved their trips to South Beach. He’d find him a spot with a prestigious group in Miami.
He’d resist the urges from now on; and together with Sarah, he’d help Ashley through senior year and now, the raid.
Everything would be fine, he told himself as he dialed Tom’s number.
WILL
Even on the worst day in Crystal Beach history, Will was the last one home.
Just a few hours earlier, he and Lauren had been enjoying some afternoon delight in the backseat of her Mercedes. They’d parked in the back of an abandoned warehouse facility he’d discovered while driving to an inspection earlier in the week. Nobody would interrupt them here, he’d decided. They’d just finished an amazing screw, both of them coming together in a loud, hot explosion. That’s when both of their cell phones had sounded simultaneously courtesy of the Crystal Beach Emergency System.
“Must be an earthquake,” Lauren mumbled, not opening her eyes. “We must have missed it since we were having our own.”
Will smiled and looked down at her full breasts. He pinched each nipple, enjoying the effect. Before starting up round two of sex, he decided to pull out his phone and saw the text: “Crystal Beach High on lockdown. Do not approach the school. Students will be released once all-clear has sounded.”
“Wow,” Will said. “We’ve got to go. Get dressed.”
Lauren’s eyes flew open and she pulled out her phone. “Oh, Kiley,” she said, beginning to text her daughter, something Will realized he should be doing. He should text Marni.
“Honey, I’m coming to get you. Tell me you’re okay,” Will texted.
Lauren was dressed and behind the wheel before he’d finished pulling on his pants. She drove out of the parking lot as he climbed into the passenger seat.
“Oh God, please let our kids be safe,” she said. “Where is your bicycle? Where should I drop you?”
“Take a breath, you’re going to kill us,” Will said as Lauren cut between two cars on the freeway and plunged down the canyon road toward town.
“I need to get to the high school. Do you want to ride there with me? I don’t think so.”
Her eyes were wild, and Will was afraid she’d smash into the back of the car in front of them. “Just let me out at the next red light. I’ll jog to my bike.”
The traffic light in front of them turned red. Will flung open the door and jumped out. His bike was locked to a tree a couple blocks down, but at least he was free of crazy Lauren. He’d never seen her that way before. He didn’t like it, but it was too late to change anything. This was the day he picked. This was his day. As he started to jog along the side of the highway, he grew calm again. He checked his phone. No text from Marni but two from Carol.
“I’m going to the high school. Pick up Piper from school and meet at home. Now.” God he was sick of her bossiness. What if he wanted to go to the high school? He did. Maybe he would anyway. Damn her.
Will texted: “Is Marni okay?”
Carol texted: “Don’t know.”
Will’s stomach dropped. She had to be all right. All of this was not part of the plan. He reached his bicycle and unlocked it. Sweat dripped from his face even though it was a cool November day, the perfect November day. He biked home in record time. It seemed as if the town was standing still and he was the only one moving. As he walked in the front door, he knew he needed to grab his keys and go pick up Piper. But he also needed to change clothes, to look presentable for his daughter, so he hurried to the master bathroom and turned on the shower.
Carol texted: “Found Marni. She is fine, just scared. Will be here helping counsel kids. Get Piper.”
Will texted: “Thank goodness. Will get her in ten minutes.”
Carol texted: “Now.”
Will texted: “I will fucking pick her up when I’m ready.”
That felt good, Will thought, placing his phone on the bathroom counter and climbing into the shower. The hot water soothed his nerves, calmed him down. As he washed himself, he thought about how great the sex had been with Lauren just a few short minutes before. Things could change so quickly. Accidents happened. As he turned off the faucet he smiled at the realization that Marni was safe. That was good. Life was short. He needed to live it, he thought, not be bossed around every day. No more. Well, after he picked up his youngest daughter.
Piper, wearing too-short shorts and an oversized gray sweater with black army-style boots, was waiting on the curb at the front of the school, along with a few other kids whose parents worked or were otherwise living a life that meant they couldn’t drop everything to arrive the minute they were told to do so. He watched as his daughter ran over to a grown-up man who looked his way, waved, and gave his daughter a hug. That bothered Will, that hug.
“Who is that man?” Will asked as Piper hopped in the front seat.
“That’s the assistant principal. He works with mom,” Piper said. “Did you hear what happened, Dad?”
“Yes, it’s scary,” Will said, trying to remember that man’s name.
“Daddy, there are like five or six kids who got arrested for drugs,” Piper said, her eyes huge, scared.
Will patted her leg. He needed to be present, focused on her. “Honey, that’s so scary. Just another reminder to not do that sort of thing and this will never happen to you. Do you know any other details? Your mother hasn’t told me anything.”
“No, Mom came over the loudspeaker at school and said we were in lockdown
and that something was happening at the high school. Then we had to sit in our classes with the doors locked. It was really scary,” Piper said. She was talking fast and Will wondered if she was in shock. She shouldn’t be, it didn’t even happen where she was. Nonetheless, it would be better if they were all out of sorts already.
“Well, you are fine. Marni is fine, and your mom is handling things over at the high school. Thank goodness.”
He pulled into the driveway, surprised to see Carol’s car already there.
“Mom’s home,” Piper said, leaping out of the car and hurrying up the stairs. Will parked and reluctantly followed her inside.
The scene was how he’d expected it. Marni crying at the kitchen table; Carol hovering over her trying to fix things. No doubt she was trying to find something to put on the calendar to make everything better. Why couldn’t she ever realize she couldn’t fix any of them? Will wondered. She only made everything worse with her overwhelming planning, her stifling demeanor. He couldn’t believe he’d actually loved her once. What had he been thinking? He was convinced now. Lauren was so much better in every way.
Marni pulled her head up off her folded arms and looked at him. “Dad,” Marni squeaked. Her tear-soaked face tugged at Will’s heart. She needed him, had actually looked at him through those dreadful glasses. He raced over to her side, pulling her in for a big hug while she sobbed against him.
“It’s okay, it’s going to be okay,” Will said, holding his daughter. She loved him again, he thought, relieved. He gave Carol a victorious smile.
Carol shook her head at him, obviously disgusted with him for some reason. He watched his wife walk over to the kitchen cupboard and pull out a coffee mug. She could drink coffee at any time of the day or night and still sleep like a baby. Piper had followed her mom into the kitchen.
In his arms, Marni seemed to have calmed down a bit. “Do you want to talk about it, sweetheart?” he asked.
“No. I can’t. It’s so awful. They arrested five of my friends. Their lives are ruined now. They’ll be expelled, won’t go to college. All for weed,” Marni said. Will steered Marni over to the couch and they sat down together, side by side, in silence.
“Things will work out, Marni,” Will said, patting her knee. Sure, things don’t always turn out the way you plan, but that was life. She’d learned. “I’ll be here for you.”
“Thanks, Dad,” she said, leaning against him.
Will took a deep breath and tried to relax. He was needed right here, next to his daughter. He would be patient. He looked toward the kitchen and spotted Carol and Piper at the table, sitting in silence, both of them busy on their laptops.
After awhile, Will found it impossible to stay seated. Marni had stopped crying and was texting like crazy on her phone.
“I’ll be right back,” he said, standing and leaving Marni on the couch. In the kitchen, he patted Piper on the shoulder and was ignored. Carol was staring at her laptop. Will found the box of popcorn, popped a bag into the microwave, and paced back and forth as it popped. When it was finished, he poured the bag into two bowls, leaving one on the kitchen table, carrying the other to his daughter in the family room.
“Have some popcorn, honey,” he said, holding the bowl in front of Marni until she took it.
“Thanks,” she mumbled, turning her attention back to her laptop, which had magically appeared in his absence.
Will settled onto his favorite chair and went over his plan. It was time. He reached for the controller and turned on the television. One of his favorite Seinfeld episodes appeared onscreen. He watched the show with a smile, and then watched another.
“Dad, this is so crazy,” Marni said, speaking for the first time in an hour, looking at him as if he had the answers. He didn’t.
“I’m sure it was more than a little weed, Marni,” he said, wondering if now was the time that he could ask about that vicious daughter of Lauren’s without seeming odd. He hoped Kiley was one of the kids taken down.
“Collin is in jail. He’s eighteen. The others were all seventeen so they’re in juvenile detention,” Marni said, and the tears came again. “Collin and I smoked together; he’s not a bad kid.” Will walked over to where she sat on the couch and covered her with a blanket. He wished he could take away her technology. He needed to give her something, help her relax, he realized. He’d wanted to anyway, it was part of the plan, but now he had the perfect excuse.
After two more episodes of Seinfeld, he was restless and anxious to settle things.
“Okay, let’s not talk online about what happened at school anymore tonight,” Will said, hoping he sounded soothing, in control. “Why don’t you close your computer? Give yourself a break, honey. Stay put. I’ll be right back.” The sun had set, Will realized, as he headed to their bedroom to find a sleeping pill. There were only a few more hours left in this day, and because it was such an unusual and terrifying day, perhaps they’d all just turn in early. It was already 7 p.m. Time flew when you were traumatized.
He found the pills he was looking for and shook two into his palm. He hoped to convince Piper to take one as well but his youngest daughter didn’t seem as distraught, just curious about what had happened. She was on her laptop, in the kitchen with Carol, searching for updates about the school bust. His wife, though, was not talking about what she had witnessed when she had arrived at the high school. She sat at the kitchen table, staring out the window.
“Hey, how are my girls?” Will asked, walking into the kitchen for a glass.
“Can’t believe the bastards put an undercover cop in the school. It’s really unbelievable. That Dr. B would approve such a thing, such a violation of trust. It’s horrible. Aren’t violations of trust the worst, Will?” she said, turning to stare at him where he hovered in between the kitchen and the family room.
“Just awful,” he said, walking over to where she sat and patting her on the shoulder. Finished comforting her, Will poured two glasses of whiskey and carried them into the family room where Marni sat.
“Here, honey, take this,” he said, handing her the sleeping pill and the alcohol.
“That smells disgusting,” she said, pushing the glass away.
“You’re in shock. This will help you sleep. You need to sleep to process what you’ve seen. Then we can talk in the morning,” Will said, pushing the glass back into her hand. He watched as she popped the pill into her mouth and choked down the amber liquor.
“That’s horrible,” Marni said, shuddering.
“Do you want to sleep out here or in your room?” Will asked.
“Out here,” she said, and Will hurried to get her a pillow and a blanket from her bed. He’d have her all tucked in and taken care of in no time.
“Why is Marni sleeping now?” Piper asked, walking over to where Will was tucking the blanket under the couch pillows.
“So she can help her brain relax and understand what she saw,” Will said, hoping it sounded logical.
“Talk therapy is the best after a trauma,” Piper said, blinking. “I just read that. Counselors will be available tomorrow.”
“Shut up,” Marni said.
Piper turned and drifted back to the kitchen table. Will kissed Marni on the forehead and watched as she closed her eyes. The sleeping pill would kick in fast, he knew.
Will walked up to Piper and looked at her computer. “Drug Bust in Crystal Beach,” read the headline on the screen.
“Honey, you shouldn’t be reading about all of that. You’ll scare yourself,” he said, pulling a chair up close to her.
“Why would the police come into the school? That’s supposed to be a safe place, not where guys in black with guns run in,” Piper said, sounding just like her mother. Her face shined in the glow of the computer screen. “Mom’s mad. What did you make Marni drink?”
“Usually it’s because somebody feels like there’s no other way to handle the situation. The administrators must have thought they had a drug problem that was out of hand,” Wi
ll said. He looked over at Carol and they locked eyes. “Doesn’t make it right,” he added so Carol would know he was on her side.
“There’s no reason for it, Piper. It’s madness,” Carol said. “Don’t try to justify it, Will. And what did you just give Marni?”
“Just something to calm her down. She’s fine. My point is there must have been some bad kids doing drug deals, that’s all. Like Collin, Marni’s friend. Who knows,” Will said, standing up and stretching, a yawn escaping in the process.
“I do. We don’t have a drug problem here. This is bureaucracy at its worst. Over-empowered principal, rubber-stamping school board, clowns for police. The kid already was accepted to NYU for God’s sake. Now he’s doomed,” Carol said, shaking her head.
“Who’s hungry? It’s getting close to bedtime and we haven’t had dinner,” Will said.
“I’ll heat up a pizza,” Piper said.
“I’ll help you,” Will said.
Carol didn’t say a word, just stared at them both.
Will popped leftover pizza from the night before into the microwave, and a minute later plunked three large slices onto their dinner plates. Piper had returned to staring at the computer screen. Carol was in the family room staring down at Marni when Will carried her slice of pizza to her.
“I can’t believe what a scare she had today,” Carol said as she took the plate from him.
“I know,” Will said. “We should eat and then head to bed. You may need a sleeping pill. You look like you’re in some kind of shock.”
“Maybe, who knows,” Carol said, drifting into the kitchen and joining Piper at the table. Will ate his pizza quickly, sitting in his favorite chair in the family room. When he was finished, he cleared all of their plates—Carol had barely touched her slice—and handed them each a sleeping pill.
“I’ve never had one of these, Dad,” Piper said, rolling the pill around in her hand. “This is a drug, right?”
“They’re fine, pumpkin. Everybody takes one,” Will said. “Mom does, I do. Look how peaceful Marni is.”