When she got to Slippery Rock it was warm. She was clean. Nobody yelled, or at least not often. There was plenty of food. Money for toys and clothes.
Taking the contract with the big chain didn’t mean Collin was turning his back on the community. It meant he was choosing financial security for his family.
Without saying a word to her mother, Savannah began folding the white tablecloth Hazel used every Saturday. She carefully matched the corners, just as she’d seen Hazel do a thousand times, placed the remaining pies carefully in a box, and wiped down the tiered pie display Hazel had brought from the farm that morning. Her mother watched her for a long moment.
“Everything okay?”
“Everything’s fine,” she said, anger lacing her words. She couldn’t breathe. Felt like all the fresh air had been sucked from the room. She had to get out of there. Savannah put the tablecloth in the box and picked it up. “I’ll put these in the car.”
Outside, she put the box on the trunk and then put her hands on her knees. She took a long, slow breath in and held it for a few seconds. Breathed out.
She wasn’t mad at Collin, not even for that swipe he’d taken at her short-lived singing career. He didn’t understand that taking that record deal in Nashville was about choosing financial security for herself.
Savannah had no illusions about why she’d accepted the contract with the Nashville label. That decision had been based solely on security, as had the decision to go on tour with Genevieve. Savannah had wanted money and she’d wanted it fast. Money that wasn’t given to her in an allowance or because Bennett or Mama Hazel knew she was going out with her friends. She scuffed the toe of her sandal on the asphalt. Money that wasn’t scraped together from the two-dollar tips left on the tables at the Slope.
Every single thing she’d done the last few years was for the benefit of Savannah.
She’d wanted to be able to show her family she had something to offer; that she was good enough.
For too long she’d scraped by on part-time waitressing hours at the Slope and using her mother’s credit cards when she went shopping. Farm work had seemed dirty all those years ago. Savannah didn’t like to be dirty, so she ignored the cattle and other chores. She liked singing because it was clean. Getting dressed up, putting on makeup, entertaining people with the fake fabulousness of her life. Her voice was a means to an end. She didn’t go to college like Levi. She didn’t know how to be a farm girl. Singing was what she had to offer them.
Then, when all those things she’d wanted were within reach, she’d destroyed the perfect picture she’d been painting. Just like she destroyed everything good in her life. Savannah twisted her ponytail around her hand and pulled.
Now she didn’t even have singing. She had a record label on the verge of cutting her, a ticked-off Nashville star against her, and she wasn’t even sure she still wanted to sing. Sure, a few of those moments on stage were fun, but most of them were awkward and scary, and afterward it was a blur of people she didn’t know telling her how amazing she was, and long days and longer nights on a lonely tour bus. People using social media to talk about her like they knew her. Running the risk of reporters digging into the past she didn’t like to think about, much less make into the next headline.
“Hey, Savannah.” Amanda walked out of the building, arms loaded with her own box of leftovers.
Savannah released the tiny, braided locks she’d fisted in her hand, popped the trunk and put the pie box inside. “Hey.” Savannah looked toward the building, hoping Hazel would be out soon. She wanted to leave. Things were getting a little too close for comfort.
Hazel didn’t magically appear in the doorway.
“Do you like my brother or something?”
The question startled her. Amanda stood near her, arms folded over her chest, watching Savannah intently.
“I, uh, barely know him,” she said. Having sex with Collin didn’t mean she knew him.
“Because you guys looked chummy out in the parking lot for a little while, and then you stomped off. Did he say something stupid? Because he says stupid things a lot.”
Savannah grinned. He did say stupid things. But then, so did she. And throwing Collin under the bus with his kid sister was just wrong. She was tired of doing the wrong thing. “He was just voicing his opinion.”
Amanda nodded and then sighed. “Yeah. He has opinions.”
“Opinions like?”
“He thinks I’m a felon waiting to happen.”
“And you’re not?” They leaned against the trunk of Hazel’s car. Savannah watched Amanda closely. Her white-blond hair was so different from Savannah’s nearly black hair. Savannah’s skin the lightest of browns and Amanda’s nearly peach. But the look in the younger girl’s green gaze was as familiar as the look she sometimes caught in her own brown eyes. The look that came whenever she was feeling particularly inadequate. Misunderstood.
She hated that look.
“I just... No one listens to me,” she said, and Savannah could understand that, too. Not that she’d ever tried hard to make people listen to her. Still, she’d often hoped people would understand what she couldn’t say.
“I felt the same way when I was your age. The thing is, people can only hear what we put out there and sometimes we think we’re being clear about things—” like money, security, but those were her battles, not Amanda’s “—but we aren’t.”
“I’m not sure how much more clear I can be.”
“About what?”
Amanda didn’t say anything for a long moment. She glanced at Savannah from the corner of her eye and bit her lower lip. “Don’t laugh.”
Savannah used her index finger to cross her heart. “Promise.”
Amanda seemed to choose her words carefully. “Saving the world.”
Savannah opened her mouth and then closed it. Those three words were nowhere near the words she’d thought the young girl would say. She’d thought they were talking about boys or maybe taking a year off between high school and college.
“Never mind. Stupid idea.” She started to walk away, but Savannah grabbed her elbow, stopping her.
“What do you mean ‘save the world’?”
“I mean leave it greener than it is now. Reverse global warming or at least slow it down. Granddad and now Collin run an organic orchard, but one orchard isn’t enough. I want to do my part, but no one will listen to me.”
“Then you have to find a way to make them listen. You have your purpose. You need to find a way to make that purpose heard.”
“Do you think I can?”
She nodded. “I never underestimate the power of a young woman with ambition and goals.”
“Like you?”
Pain stabbed at Savannah’s heart but she held her smile steady. She’d had all the wrong ambitions, all the wrong reasons for leaving this place. Look where it had gotten her. Back here, yes. Reconnecting with her family, yes. Having a quickie by the lake with a man she barely knew. Not such a smart move. Practically obsessing over said man? An even dumber move.
“I’ve made a few missteps, but I’m working on finding my purpose.”
Amanda grinned. “You make a good listener,” she said, and the simple words eased the pain in Savannah’s chest.
“Thanks.”
Amanda started toward the market. “I’d better go find Gran. Thanks, Savannah.”
“You’re welcome,” she said, but Amanda had already gone.
Savannah had the feeling it was she who should be thanking the younger girl.
She didn’t yet know what her purpose was, but she was more determined than ever to find it.
CHAPTER TEN
HE’D BEEN A DICK.
Collin threw a red-tipped dart at the board, but it hit the wall to the side and he watched as it cl
attered to the floor.
A dick who couldn’t throw darts.
“That leaves me and Levi,” Adam said, gathering the darts littering the corner at the Slope. It was their usual Wednesday night, and it should be as familiar as going to the barn every morning before heading out to the orchard, but Collin couldn’t relax.
He didn’t want to follow Adam’s inane conversation or to try to figure out why Levi was barely talking at all. James had picked up an extra shift at the sheriff’s office, so it was only the three of them.
“I’ll get the next round,” Collin offered and headed to the bar. Merle wiped down the wide strip of mahogany. “Three longnecks,” Collin said.
The bar was mostly empty tonight, but he couldn’t stop picturing Savannah sitting at the bar in her tight sequined party dress from the other night. He wondered where she was tonight. Not that it mattered.
He kept making an idiot of himself when she was around, and he couldn’t figure it out. She wasn’t wrong. She’d basically echoed what he’d been telling himself—the deal would benefit the orchard and his wallet significantly.
So why did he keep coming up with reasons not to take it? As adamant as Granddad had been about how to run the orchard, he’d always supported Collin’s plans to make it bigger and better. Hell, he’d put the idea of contracting with a bigger grocer in Collin’s head after reading about the farmers along the gulf coast who’d contracted with the big cruise lines for fruit and produce.
Merle put the three cold bottles on the counter. “You boys are my best customers tonight. Summer tourists haven’t picked up yet.”
“After Memorial Day you’ll wish we were your best customers,” Collin joked.
Merle pretended to hate the increased traffic through town during the summer months. He pooh-poohed the boaters who came in, complained about the increased wait times at the restaurants and grumbled about mixing the fancy drinks a lot of tourists wanted. Merle was a beer, whiskey and tequila kind of man. But, like the rest of the town, he knew the tourism industry was what kept a lot of the local businesses going.
Slippery Rock Lake was one of many man-made lakes in Missouri, created by damming the Slippery Rock River, in part to ease flooding and in part to provide water for the growing city of Joplin. Merle and many of the older business owners had agreed to the creation of the lake, but insisted on a nondevelopment clause, similar to Stockton Lake in another part of the state, so that the area wouldn’t be too overrun with tourists during the summer months.
“You catch that bit in the paper about the fishing tournament?”
“What tournament?”
“Bass Nationals. They’re looking for a spot for one of their big tournaments next summer. Apparently our lake made the short list, something about the mayor meeting up with one of the sponsors at that city planning expo in Little Rock in the fall.” Merle slapped the white towel he’d been using to wipe down the bar over his shoulder. “We’ve got some of the best bass fishing in the state.” His annoyance at the tourists was apparently at war with his love of fishing.
Collin picked up the beers. “Just think of all those fish cocktails you’ll have to learn how to make if the fishermen come to town,” he said and started toward the table in the corner.
“Real fishermen drink beer,” Merle called after him, making Collin chuckle.
“What was that about?” Levi focused his attention on the dartboard as he asked the question.
“Merle’s annoyed the tourist traffic hasn’t picked up yet, but he seems to have forgotten how anti-tourist he is once Memorial Day rolls around.”
“He’ll remember real quick about the fifth time someone asks for a sex on the beach or a fuzzy navel,” Adam joked. Levi threw his dart and hit the bull’s-eye. “Damn fine shot, Walters.”
“That’s game for me.” Levi took one of the beers from the table and drank. The three of them sat at the table, finishing their beers in silence.
“Speaking of Memorial Day, Jenny wants to you all to come to a barbecue that day,” Adam said after a while. “Burgers and brats. The usual. She wants to show off the new house.” Adam and his wife, Jenny, had one of the few lakefront lots within the city limits; he’d inherited it from his grandfather.
When Slippery Rock Lake had been created, the town founders had laid out the plans so that it wouldn’t become overly commercialized with marinas like many of the other lakes in the state. Locals knew of a few private access points, but the Slippery Rock Marina near the Slope was the only public access point.
“Mama has been working on some new ice-cream flavors, so we’ll bring dessert.” Levi finished his beer, but made no move to leave the booth.
Before Collin could answer, James walked in the door wearing his department uniform. He slid into the empty seat and tilted it back against the wall.
“Sometimes being a cop sucks,” he said.
“Who’d you have to ticket tonight? Maggie Hall out running the stop signs again?” Adam quipped. Maggie was the wife of the mayor and since his election three years before had decided stop signs, stop lights, yield signs and most other traffic signs didn’t apply to her.
“I wish.” He sighed. “For the last three hours I’ve been scrubbing paint off the sidewalks. Someone painted murals all around the courthouse square.”
Collin shot James a look, but he shook his head. “It doesn’t have the cachet of duct taping the streets, so I think Amanda’s in the clear.”
“That’s a first.”
The door opened, and Savannah walked in. She wore blue jeans and a gauzy tank top that flirted with her narrow hips. She’d left her hair down and a couple of silver bangles glinted in the low light from the bar. No cheerleader friends with her tonight.
She crossed to the bar and settled across from Merle. She crossed her legs, and one low-heeled sandal dangled from her foot. Her foot didn’t jiggle, it swayed, and Collin found himself mesmerized by the movement. She didn’t give the corner table a single glance, and when she laughed at something Merle said, Collin frowned.
The man was too old for her by about thirty years.
“There he goes again, folks, distracted by the pretty lady at the bar.” Adam’s voice brought him back to his section of the bar.
“I’m not distracted,” he objected.
Levi snickered. “Son, that’s my sister you just lost yourself in for about ten minutes. We’ve already decided the full menu for the barbecue. You’ve got ice duty and James is going to go hunt down some firebugs to see if they also have artistic abilities. And you’re watching my sister as if she’s the oasis to your desert.”
“She’s flirting with Merle,” Collin said, disgust ringing in his words.
“That’s not flirting, it’s called talking,” Levi said.
“She’s your sister. You don’t see it.”
“Because she’s my sister I know all her moves. That laugh, that posture—those aren’t Savannah’s come-ons.” He looked more closely at Collin, and Collin couldn’t hold his gaze. “Since when do you care who Van flirts with anyway?”
Apparently since now, not that he was going to say that. He didn’t want to feel it, much less say it. Collin threw a few bills on the table. “Mark down three for the barbecue,” he said to Adam and walked out of the bar.
He didn’t get far. Collin leaned against the brick out front, trying to wrap his head around the annoyance—no, the jealousy—he’d felt when he saw Savannah chatting up Merle at the bar. God, he was an idiot. He wasn’t going to get involved. Not with Savannah, not with anyone, until his financial future was set. Now here he was, telling her his business plans and getting jealous when she talked to her old boss and feeling—what? Hurt?—when she didn’t spare a single glance in his direction.
He ran his hands over his face, wishing he had a bucket of ice-cold water he could stick
his head in. Maybe that would wake him up.
He started to walk in the dim twilight. Streetlights were just beginning to come on, and he glanced at the broken clock on the courthouse out of habit. As if a broken clock could give him answers...
Collin ignored his truck and instead cut across the street to the pier leading into the marina. The lights were off at Bud’s Bait Shop, but there were several boats in the permanent slips on either side of the pier. Collin walked to the end, sat and dangled his feet over the edge while he watched the last rays of sunlight disappear into the night.
“Hey,” Savannah said, sitting beside him.
“You must have ESP to find me out here in the dark.”
Savannah knocked her bare shoulder against his and he could swear he felt her heat through the cotton of his T-shirt. “I saw you leave and decided to come out here to tell you I’m sorry.”
She was sorry? For what? He was the one acting the fool where she was concerned. Picking fights with her, making light of her talents and generally being a jerk every time she showed up.
Unless he was kissing her silly and having sex with her beside the lake.
“I was a jerk at the market the other day. You following your dreams and making them come true is commendable, not something to be held against you. This grocer deal is making me a little crazy.”
Almost as crazy as sitting next to her but not touching her was making him. Maybe that was what this was all about. The last time he’d been relaxed around her he’d been inside her, and that had been probably the best mistake he’d ever made. But that didn’t mean he should make it again.
“No, I was projecting my needs onto you. I don’t remember a lot about my life before Slippery Rock, but I do remember a little bit about what it is to have no money.” He felt her shoulder shrug in the darkness, and the contact made that buzz of attraction start up again. “You should do what you think is right, regardless of how much money you may or may not make.”
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