“According to the blueprints House downloaded, yes. I suppose we’d better find out. Nina, we’re counting on you to get the drain grating off.”
Nina climbed the ladder and surveyed the grating above them. She also cocked her head, listening for noises above them.
“Quiet as a ghost on the other side,” she reported. “The grating should be large enough for our purposes.”
Nina pushed with all her might against the grating. The rung of the ladder she had been using to brace herself gave way and with a sharp scream she fell backwards onto Marlowe and Jebediah.
Marlowe grunted at the impact. Jebediah bristled with rage. “I thought we were supposed to be stealthy! Screaming and making a racket isn’t exactly the sort of subtlety one normally exercises when breaking and entering!”
“You OK, Nina?” asked Marlowe.
“Yeah, thanks for breaking my fall. We’ve got a problem here. I can lift the grating with no problem, but this old ladder isn’t strong enough to bear the weight. Any suggestions?”
Marlowe drew a blank, and kept on drawing one. He was utterly flummoxed. Jebediah came up with the solution, a smug grin spreading across his face. “If you’d get off of my chest so I can breathe properly, I think I can propose a solution.” Nina rolled off Marlowe, who rolled off Jebediah.
“Thank you,” said Jebediah as he took a deep breath. “Now, my suggestion is that Nina climbs back up the ladder. I will follow, with Marlowe staying at the bottom. I will climb onto Marlowe’s shoulders, and Nina will climb onto mine. We should hold up better than a rusty ladder.”
Marlowe muttered about being at the bottom, but it made sense. Nina needed to be at the top to open the grate, and Jebediah wouldn’t be able to hold her weight and Marlowe’s.
Amazingly, the plan worked and Marlowe soon found himself following the other two up and into the Ministry of Policing headquarters.
Unfiltered musty, dank air seeped into Marlowe’s lungs with his first breath inside the complex. They had ascended into what looked like a large locker room style shower stall, with discolored white tiles covering the floor, walls, and ceiling. The grout between the tiles was grimy and dark, and the floor felt gritty to the touch. A faint sourness lingered in the dankness, punctuated by the slow, steady drip drop of a leaky shower head. The grating lay on the floor just to the side of the hole they’d entered through, and the air blowing in from the sewer tunnel felt warm.
“I thought you said this would be a custodial closet,” grumbled Jebediah.
“Well, House had to build his map of this building by extrapolating from several sources – blueprints filed in the City Hall of Records available to the public, which are generally assumed to be highly inaccurate, blueprints filed in the Hall of Records that aren’t publicly accessible, but for which House has some inside connections, and some overhead satellite images.”
“Obviously his sources don’t amount to a hill of beans,” snapped Jebediah. “We’re doomed if we continue this endeavor.”
“It’s not perfect, but should be close enough.”
Jebediah snorted. “I’ll bet we’re not even close to, what detention block is this supposed to be?”
“Thirty eight, I believe,” said Nina, pointing to the “DB38” stenciled on the wall of the shower stall.
“Lucky guess,” Jebediah spit out.
“Regardless of where we are,” said Marlowe, “the sooner we change, the better.” He opened the waterproof chestpack and pulled out three Ministry of Policing administrative uniforms. They’d reprogrammed the clothes nozzles to spray them out before leaving, using a black market program House kept carefully tucked away on an otherwise innocent looking network drive that handled the day to day operations of the septic system. The nozzles had no memory of making the uniforms.
The name patches were blank, a fact Nina had found alarming when she first inspected them back at home, but House had assured them that the lack of a name tag implied secrecy and high rank, meaning few people would dare molest them in the halls of the Ministry of Policing. As a defense against anyone else who might ask questions, House had provided all three of them with clipboards, which Marlowe now pulled out of the chestpack and handed out.
The clipboards were entirely electronic, little more than rectangular screens with a stylus clipped to the top. They were made by City Clipboards, were notoriously unreliable, and not even remotely waterproof, hence their journey through the sewers in the hermetically sealed chestpack.
“Remember, anyone gives you grief, give ‘em a sharp stare, ask their name and write it in the clipboard.”
“And how likely is that to work,” asked Jebediah skeptically.
“House gives it a 93.7% chance of working, with the odds dropped by 5% for each additional use of the tactic.”
“And if we run into Obedere, or the Deputy Chief Minister of Policing?”
“Won’t work at all with them. If that happens, we hope the powers the Governor gave me work well enough to get us out of the building. Might work, but I doubt it. We should be able to avoid the Upper Administrative levels, so such an encounter isn’t likely.”
“The best laid plans of mice and men,” mumbled Jebediah.
Marlowe took one last look at the vellum map before folding it up and putting it in his pocket. “OK, we need to head up twenty six floors.”
“And just where are we going?” Jebediah had crossed his arms. “You and House were somewhat circumspect on this aspect of the operation.”
“House has a backdoor into the megaframe here. He used it a couple of years ago to create a high access account in the system, so future incursions could use the fake account rather than the backdoor. Simple precaution – if the intrusion is detected, the fake account is blocked rather than the backdoor itself. Well, to add legitimacy to the account, he arranged for an office for the ‘user’ – a private office with a phone and computer access. We’re going to that office so we can contact House and initiate phase two.”
Jebediah smiled approvingly. “Capital! If Obedere knew, he’d turn himself inside out with rage. Pure genius! House’s idea, I assume. You know, with his help, you could make a passable governor yourself.”
“We came up with it together,” replied Marlowe flatly, “and I have no political aspirations.”
Despite the initial inaccuracy about the storage closet, which they found right next to the bathroom, House’s map proved to be fairly close. They walked down a dimly lit corridor, cell doors on either side lining the length of it. Each cell they passed, with a cot, stainless steel sink and toilet, and moldy straw sprinkled on the floor, was utterly devoid of an inhabitant. Jebediah commented on it first.
“Odd, the old M of P seems to be losing its touch. Either that, or they’ve mellowed in the time I was…on vacation.”
“No, if anything, they’ve gotten worse since Obedere replaced my brother as Chief Minister of Policing.” The cells should have been five to a unit, and their emptiness bothered Marlowe. “This doesn’t make sense. The place should be brimming with detainees.”
“Where do you think they went?” asked Nina.
Marlowe shrugged. “I think we have quite enough going on right now as it is to start worrying about missing prisoners. Just be glad we don’t have to deal with questions from them, not that they would have been likely to talk to us.”
The eeriness of the dark, empty detention block compelled Nina and Jebediah to agree.
The building had SpringStep stairs, in place more as an emergency exit in case of a fire or earthquake, but as with other buildings so equipped, no one used the stairs if an elevator was available. So they had an uneventful ascent once they reached the stairs, save Nina’s trouble with the SpringSteps.
“What the hell!” she exclaimed as she fell into Jebediah after her first step.
“Ah, you’re not familiar with SpringSteps, are you?” Marlowe helped her up, pushing his hand past the one already proffered by Jebediah. “The steps lift up as yo
u alight on them, to reduce the amount of energy required to climb to the next one. There’s a sort of rhythm required to successfully use them. Like this.” Marlowe popped up to the next landing, doing a little one-two, one-two dance.
Nina contemplated the movement she’d just witnessed. “You know, I never was one for dancing.” She started up, muttering “one-two, one-two” under her breath, but only climbed three steps before falling over. She broke the fall with her arms, coming to rest looking very much like she was doing push ups in the stairwell. “Interesting. Out of curiosity, how do these things work if you’ve got two people walking side-by-side, or someone coming down while you’re going up?”
“Timing is everything. You’ll need to get the hang of this quickly, in case we run into someone. Not knowing how to climb these will tag you immediately as an outsider.”
Jebediah stamped impatiently. “What about the elevators? We could just take those.”
“We’re trying to avoid people as much as possible, remember?”
“Hey, guys, I can learn this. Really.”
Within five minutes, Nina had mastered the stairs well enough to avoid drawing attention. During the whole teaching period, Marlowe kept wishing he had his PDI running so he could record her attempts. If they survived this crazy mission, it would be worth a good laugh to review.
They had ascended twenty six flights before Marlowe stopped their progress with a touch to Nina’s arm. The wall of the landing they had reached had the number ‘-11’ stenciled on it. Thanks to the SpringSteps, they were barely winded. Except for Nina, who for the first time displayed faint signs of fatigue.
Marlowe cleared his throat to deliver the little pep talk he’d been working on during their sojourn on the stairs. “OK, this is the floor where ‘my’ office resides. We’re bound to encounter a lot of people, so remember to stay calm and walk with angry confidence. Think ‘GRRRR’ every time you pass someone. It’ll keep you in good stead.”
The corridor they found themselves in had two elevators on one side, with gold-tinted reflective doors, plush, midnight blue carpeting covering the floor, and white marble walls with red and purple veins. The cathedral ceilings curved over them with ornately decorated friezes and frescoes portraying Obedere, wearing a Roman toga and with a sword in hand, battling dragons labeled ‘Chaos’, ‘Sedition’, and ‘Independent Thinker’. Nina gasped at the sheer spectacle.
“Welcome,” said Jebediah expansively, “to middle management. If you wait long enough, the ceiling art changes. It’s all fairly old liquid plasma display technology, though you predate that, Nina. Takes a monstrous amount of computing power to maintain all of them, since every floor above -10 has something like this. They get grander as you move up. Starting at level +2, the walls and floor get involved in the display as well.”
They encountered a number of different officers as they walked, but their lack of name tags and the clipboards they clutched so purposefully prevented any problems. After ten minutes of weaving down corridors, punctuated by stops to pull out the map and consult it, they finally reached the office they were seeking.
A melon-sized prune crowned with a tuft of blue mold and propped on the neck of a sky blue uniform sat at a desk by the door they sought. Marlowe almost jumped when two dark spots evenly spaced on the prune swiveled towards him and an opening below the two spots started moving.
“Can I help you?”
Marlowe looked down at his map, then up at the number stenciled on the door. It was the right door.
Jebediah stepped in. “Who are you?”
The blue-haired prune arose indignantly. “I am the administrative assistant to Assistant Director of Technical Publications Thinners. Who might you be?”
“Who might I be?” Jebediah rose to his full height, and then went up on his tip-toes to further enhance his presence. “Who might I be?” Spittle started to fly from his lips, and his eyes rolled back, giving the prune a good look at the whites. “Who might I be??”
Marlowe had collected his wits by now. “Woman, are you daft? This is Assistant Director Thinners!”
The prune came up short, then dropped back into her chair. “Oh, really? Are you sure?”
They immediately sensed the woman’s fear and uncertainty.
“How,” demanded Nina, “could you possibly work for Assistant Director Thinners and not recognize him?”
“Yes, of course,” warbled the prune nervously. “It’s just that the other man said he was Thinners.”
“Other man?” they all asked simultaneously.
“I’m terribly sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you. Maybe he can clear this up. Yes, I’m sure he can. Why don’t you go in.” The prune raised a shaky hand to her phone, pressed a button, and said, “Assistant Director Thinners, Assistant Director Thinners is here to see you.” The sound of something clattering emanated from the speaker, and then she buzzed them in.
A.D. Thinners possessed a large office with wall-to-wall gold shag carpeting, two large cherry wood bookcases bulging with books, and a large panoramic window with a view of the French Rivera. In front of the window, occupying a large portion of the room, was an enormous titanium desk with polished oak trim. Behind the desk, standing in a loose-fitting gray with orange-stripes uniform, was a quaking fountain of sweat. His hair was black with perspiration.
“Oh, ah,” he stammered, “um, Assistant Director, how are you, sir?” His head swiveled from side to side, taking in Marlowe, Nina, and Jebediah, clearly uncertain who he should be addressing.
“Do you know who I am?” squeaked Jebediah.
“Ah, yes, sir, um, ah, well, yes.” He faded out and locked his eyes on the floor, bracing himself for some sort of blow.
“Please explain yourself and your presence in this office,” forced out Marlowe, still unclear exactly what was going on, but sensing he had the upper hand.
“Ah, yes, well, I can explain.” He paused, still staring at the floor. “Yes. It’s rather funny, actually.” He peeked up briefly. “Or maybe not.”
Jebediah had also sensed the current balance of power and took full advantage. “Funny!? Funny!? What in the Governor’s green City could possibly be funny about this situation?”
“Ah, yes, well, you see, it’s a bit of a long story. I’ve been in the Ministry for almost fifteen years, and I kept putting in a request for an office, but it kept getting denied. And then I noticed your office, and, well, since there is no Technical Publications division-”
“No Technical Publications division?!” thundered Jebediah.
“Err, I mean, I figured the office was a front for some sort of undercover operation or something. I, well, I kept watch, and after three months of no one ever occupying the office I just sort of moved in. Didn’t think there’d be any harm, and, well, I really, really wanted an office. It seemed like a waste of space-”
“Waste of space?! My office a waste of space? Just who the hell are you?” Jebediah was in top form now, and had whipped out his clipboard.
“Junior Assistant Facilitator Mandelbrot, sir. I work in Propaganda, under Facilitator Riefenstahl.”
“And your mail stop, Junior?”
“Oh, Governor, you’re not going to report me, are you? I could be executed for this!”
Jebediah continued undaunted. “Your mail stop!”
“1939, sir.”
“I’m going to think long and hard, Junior, about whether or not to report you. And while I’m thinking long and hard, I want you to think about what you’ve done. And if, by the grace of the Governor, I don’t report your actions, you will owe me a very, very large favor. Do we understand each other?”
Mandelbrot sensed a glimmer of hope and saluted smartly. “Oh, yes, sir. Absolutely, sir.”
“Now get out of my office!”
Marlowe grabbed Mandelbrot’s shoulder as he started out, causing the damp man to literally jump out of his shoes.
“Just a moment, Mandelbrot. I’m a little confused about one thing.”
>
“Oh, yes sir,” replied Mandelbrot.
“The administrative assistant outside. A. D. Thinners never requested one.”
“Oh, ah, yes, well, you see….”
Nina started to laugh, but caught herself. “That was rather brazen of you,” she said. “How long after moving in did you request the admin?”
“Ah, well,” squirmed Mandelbrot. “I didn’t want to risk anything too soon, just in case, you know, so I waited a month.”
“You owe me a really, really, really big favor, Junior,” said Jebediah in a steady, unnerving voice. “Now get out of my office.”
“Yes, sir!” Mandelbrot saluted again, bent down to pick up his shoes, and rushed out.
Nina started to laugh. “Wow, that was close! Who would have thought that someone would steal the office you-”
“Yes,” broke in Marlowe hurriedly while raising his finger to his lips. “Very amusing.” He pointed up at the ceiling while leaning close. “Remember our conversation in the car about listening devices,” he whispered.
Nina nodded understanding. Marlowe pulled a small telescoping rod out of the sleeve of his uniform and swept it across the office. A small light on the tip blinked on and off as his moved it. It took him a minute to sweep the entire office, and when he finished he let out a big sigh. “We can talk now. It’s safe. For awhile anyway.”
“In all the excitement, I’d forgotten we have more to do,” said Jebediah as he crashed into the chair behind the desk.
“You are going to send an email to this address,” said Marlowe, sliding a slip of paper across the desk to Jebediah. “You’ll send it five minutes after Nina and I leave, and then eat the slip of paper. Don’t worry, it’s peppermint flavor.”
“Ooh, my favorite,” said Jebediah.
“Yes, House saw to that,” said Marlowe. “Now the email will be detected by House, who will then initiate a warrant request to search the Ministry of Policing building for any items related to a PDI virus. Obedere will get wind of it almost instantly and dispatch the R.E.T. to hide any relevant evidence. But of course, by then, Nina and I will be positioned outside the R.E.T.’s offices and will follow them right to the evidence, by which time House will cancel the warrant request and Obedere will call off the R.E.T.”
Marlowe and the Spacewoman Page 26