She really should have insisted on going to her apartment. She had a heating pad there, her medication and the things that helped her do things more easily.
There was no getting her bra off. It had a front clasp to make things easier, but her hands just weren’t up to it today. And she wasn’t sure it was a good idea for her to take it off, anyway. She was kind of big in the boob department; she didn’t want them to see how large and saggy they were.
Stop it, Ivy.
Everything Davis had told her was rushing through her head. Every negative remark flayed her like a whip. She had to stop.
Cullen wasn’t Davis. He’d told her that he wasn’t the type of guy for her. And vice versa. He hadn’t promised to love and cherish her through sickness and through health.
So she had no right to get upset with him. Picking up the shirt with her left hand, which was feeling better than her right, she managed to get it over her head. By the time she had it on, she was exhausted, in pain, and she just wanted to sleep.
Tomorrow would be a better day. She hoped.
The scent of ginger and vanilla surrounded her.
Crap. Why did that smell like home now?
Ridiculous.
Christmas miracles weren’t real. Some guy she’d just met wasn’t going to be the answer to all her dreams and prayers.
Face it. You’re on your own. It’s you against the world.
Santa isn’t bringing you someone to love for Christmas. No matter how much you might beg him.
Chapter 5
How the hell had she snuck out without him knowing?
Cullen was scowling the next morning as he escorted Marcus to the Littles’ area. Even his cousin was subdued. He wasn’t talking a mile a minute like he usually did on his way to the school program.
Then again, she’d snuck out on him, too.
Something had changed last night after she’d come out of the bathroom. He’d thought she was in pain. It had been a struggle, but he’d managed not to scold her. He’d gotten her to take some painkillers, although he wasn’t sure they’d done much.
He wanted to help her and it was pissing him off that he didn’t know how.
Easy. Remember what you told Marcus last night. She’s not yours. And you can’t just claim her.
Fuck it.
If she wasn’t his, then why was he so upset that she’d left without waking him this morning?
“She even took my damn pants.”
“What?” Marcus asked.
“Ivy, she took my pants and my shirt.”
“You’re upset about that?” Marcus asked.
“Of course not. But you know why she took my pants, right?”
“Oh hell. She’s going to wash them.”
“She thinks she needs to wash my fucking pants just because I got some damn hot chocolate on them.”
“Mr. Cutler, would you please watch your language while you’re in this part of the building?”
Whoops. Caught.
He looked over at Nanny J and gave her a winning smile. She actually came to a halt and stared at him in shock. He congratulated himself for that. He got the feeling that not a lot shocked Nanny J.
“I’m very sorry, Nanny J. My most sincere apologies. I’m here to drop Marcus off into your capable hands.”
Both of them were now gaping at him.
“I think aliens got him, Nanny J,” Marcus whispered.
“I think you might be right, Marcus,” Nanny J replied. “Come along now. It’s time for class.”
Marcus slipped his hand into Nanny J’s. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, Cullen. I mean it. Don’t do something you’ll regret.”
He didn’t intend to do anything he would regret. He just figured that he’d tell a certain little Miss that she wasn’t to, not ever, leave a room without letting him know where she was going.
Okay, as soon as he thought that he knew it was ridiculous. But if she was sleeping in his bedroom, then she wasn’t allowed to leave without waking him. That was a rule, damn it.
Well, it was going to be.
And how likely is it that she’s ever going to be in your bedroom again? What about in your bed?
Fuck. Fuck.
He could see her stepping out of that bathroom, all shy, dressed in his T-shirt. She’d still been wearing her bra, and he’d wondered why. Now he realized she probably hadn’t been able to undo it. Fuck it, why hadn’t she asked him?
He’d thought they were becoming friends.
Friends didn’t sneak out of other friends’ bedrooms.
And they definitely didn’t steal their pants.
Yeah, that’s what he was going to tell her. He’d be good. He wouldn’t even threaten to spank her. Unless he found out she’d left while it was still dark.
Now that deserved a spanking.
Urgh. He was a mess. He’d never been like this in his life. Never felt like his brain was going to explode. Not even with Raquel.
Shit.
He hadn’t felt this way about Raquel, a woman he’d intended to marry. So, what did that say about his feelings toward Ivy?
Okay, he needed to think about this. Maybe he should take a bit of time and think before he searched her out.
Nah. Fuck that.
Three rungs up.
Just four more to go. She could do it.
Come on, Ivy.
Only problem was, she couldn’t grip hold of the rungs of the ladder, so she was using her forearms for balance. Not the safest way to climb a ladder. But she really needed to take down the decorations. She felt terrible that she hadn’t helped more last night. She’d also forgotten to move the gnomes last night, so she’d done that before coming here, hoping that the Littles hadn’t already gone for a walk. She didn’t think they would have been. Not after all the excitement last night.
A flush of heat filled her, followed by a wave of dizziness. She didn’t have time for a flare-up. She was busy. She was not going to let this stop her from doing what needed to be done.
“Ivy? Darlin’, what are you doing?”
Large hands circled her waist, lifting her down. She was set gently on her feet, then Derek appeared in front of her. His gaze was filled with concern as he took her in.
“Morning, Derek. I’m so sorry about last night.”
“It was just a mug. Barely anything to clean up. I’m more concerned about you.”
She shook her head. “Not just that. Not being able to help with everyone else afterward. Did you find out why the smoke alarm went off?”
“No, just a glitch.” He ran a hand over his face.
“You look tired. Did you not sleep?”
“Not much, no. You look like you need some rest as well.”
“Me? Oh no, I’m fine. I’m just going to work on getting all this down. I have that decoration class this afternoon.”
“That’s what I was coming to talk to you about. Nanny J wants everyone to have an extra-long nap today. So we thought we’d put the classes off until tomorrow.”
She nodded. “That’s fine with me.”
“Could be a storm heading this way tomorrow, so we’re prepping for that in case it hits.”
A storm. She made a mental note to move the gnomes indoors tonight. “Anything I can do to help?”
“No, darlin’. You’ve already done so much.”
“I don’t mind helping out.” She loved feeling useful. Having something to do.
“I know you do. But we can’t take advantage of your need to please. Although there is something I do need from you.”
“What is it?” She hoped it didn’t involve anything too strenuous.
“I want you to go back to your apartment and rest.”
“Um, what? How is that helping?”
“Ivy, don’t take this wrong, but you don’t look great. You worked a long day yesterday. You deserve some time off.” He studied her. “Are you feeling well?”
“I’m fine.”
He scowled. “You wouldn�
�t be lying to me, would you?”
Uh-oh, that was a very stern voice. The need to answer immediately hit her hard. She dropped her gaze. “I’m a bit tired.”
He grunted. “Head home. Rest. I’m going to send food from the kitchen for you and if you start to feel any worse, then we’re getting the doctor to come here.”
“But, Derek—”
“Understand?”
“Yes, Sir.”
Whoops. She didn’t mean for that to slip out.
“I’ll walk you over.”
Great. Probably because he didn’t trust her to make her way over there herself. They took a cart back to the employees’ apartments.
“Ivy,” Derek said as they reached the building.
“Yes?”
“If you need to talk to anyone, I’m here.”
“Thanks,” she said. Although she didn’t plan to take him up on that. He was her boss.
“And if anyone is bothering you, you’ll tell me.”
She gave him a surprised look. “No one is bothering me.”
“Not even Cullen Cutler?”
“What? No.”
“You sure? Because I will kick him off the Ranch if he’s done anything inappropriate or put any pressure on you.”
“Derek, no. I promise. Cullen isn’t a bad guy, he wouldn’t do that.”
“I think he’s a good guy, too, but I know that you weren’t really looking for a relationship and I wanted to make sure that you were comfortable.”
No, she wasn’t.
Except, she had this feeling that if Cullen said that he wanted her, she’d go running to him.
Stop it, Ivy.
“He was just being kind. That’s all.”
“Really? Kind?” Derek said skeptically.
She understood his skepticism. He didn’t appear kind until you got to know him.
Where the hell was she?
Cullen fumed as he moved through the grounds of the Ranch, toward the playground. He’d just spent all day trying to find Ivy.
And he was totally pissed off.
How dare she sneak off like she had? How dare she hide from him? Did she not realize that she was toying with the beast inside him? The one that was only too eager to show her exactly who was in charge.
Him.
She didn’t get to do this. Didn’t get to make these decisions. If he had to take over all decisions for a while, he damn well would.
He’d come out for a walk, needing to burn off this excess emotion. Last thing he needed to be doing was snapping at his cousin.
Suddenly, he came to a stop.
Was that…seriously? Yep, it was Ivy. He started storming toward her, determined to give her a piece of his mind. But something struck him as off. He noticed the way she kind of swayed as she moved, as though she was finding it hard to remain upright. Was she drunk?
“Ivy?” he called out as he grew close.
She turned, letting out a gasp of fright. Damn it. Was it too much to ask that she remember to put on a jacket? He immediately started pulling off his coat to wrap around her.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“You’ve got to be freezing.”
Except, she looked oddly flushed. He studied her, noticing her glazed eyes and the way trembles rocked her body. Shivers that didn’t ease even with his jacket around her.
“What’s wrong? Are you ill?” He gentled his voice, concerned about her. Reaching out, he placed his hand over her forehead. “Fuck, you’re hot.”
“I wish. I’m so not hot.”
“What?” he asked.
“Short and dumpy, that’s me. Boring. But loyal, maybe I’m a golden retriever. No, they’re beautiful. I’m more like an English bulldog. You know, kind of homely, but some people love them because they’re so ugly, they’re cute.”
“Are you calling yourself ugly?”
“Whoa, your hand is cold. Here, you need this more than me.” She started pulling off the coat.
“Keep that on, little girl,” he commanded.
She huffed out a breath. “You’re always so bossy. I don’t have to do what you say. You…you darn man.”
Darn man? Well, that told him. Amusement filled him, pushing aside his annoyance.
“Ivy, you’re running a fever. That’s why my hand feels so cold against your skin.”
“I’m not.”
“You are.”
“Nuh-uh.”
His eyebrows rose at the way she spoke. Just like a naughty, sick Little might. His doubts about her not being a Little increased.
“What are you doing out in the cold when you’re sick, little girl?” he asked her. “And why don’t you have one of your headbands on?”
Not that important, but he didn’t think he’d seen her without one of those ridiculous things on.
“I don’t?” She reached up to feel her head. “I must’ve forgotten.”
“Why are you wandering around when you’re ill?” he repeated.
“Not sick. It’s a flare-up. And I gots to move the gnomes. I forgot last night. So I did it this morning. But then Derek sent me home to bed. I been watching Christmas movies all day like a lazy-bum and then there was this gnome on one of the movies. I forget which one. And so I remembered, I’ve got to move the Christmas gnomes.”
“Yeah, you’re not doing that.”
“Am too.”
“Absolutely are not,” he told her firmly. “What you are doing, little girl, is going back to bed.”
“I don’t want to. I’m tired of being on my own.”
“I didn’t say anything about being on your own,” he replied. Like he’d take her back to her apartment and leave her? What the hell? What did she take him for?
And what did she mean, a flare-up? What had flared up?
He reached out to grab her, but she stepped back. “I have to do the gnomes. They’re magic. Christmas is magical.” Tears filled her eyes.
He sighed. “All right, what about this? I’ll take you back to our suite, then I’ll come out and move the damn gnomes.”
“You will?” The tears disappeared, and he let out a sigh of relief. He had no idea what it was about her that made him want to do whatever was necessary to make her happy. It wasn’t like him.
But right now wasn’t the time to think about it.
“I will. Now that’s settled, you’re coming back to the suite with me where I can take care of you.”
“I am?”
“You are.”
“Okay, then.”
Well, that was surprisingly easy. He carried her around to the pool, then went through their private courtyard to his suite.
“Why did you take off this morning without waking me, little girl?” he asked her once they were inside. He had about two hours before he had to get Marcus. He wanted to make certain she was settled or even asleep before he left her on her own.
Although he was starting to think that maybe he should get a doctor.
“What?” she asked as he took the jacket off from around her shoulders. He pushed her gently down onto the side of the bed. She lay back, as though she was too tired to remain sitting upright.
Reaching down, he pulled off her shoes. He frowned as he noticed how worn they were. She was in her usual black, plain attire.
And he fucking hated it. All of it.
“Ivy?”
“Yeah?” she asked.
“You haven’t answered my question.”
“Oh, right. Sorry.”
And she still said nothing more.
“Well?” he demanded.
“Well, what?”
He sighed, shaking his head. Okay, he wouldn’t get anything more out of her, it seemed.
“Have you drunk much water today? Eaten? I need to get you some acetaminophen and see if we can get your fever down.”
“Doubt it will help much. It’s not a virus. It’s a flare-up. Although it might help my hands.”
“What do you mean by flare up?”
“This bed is really comfy. Can I sleep here?”
“Yes, you can sleep here. Ivy?”
“I like the way you say my name. I even like when you call me ‘little girl’, not that I am one.”
“Is that so? Sometimes you seem like you’re a Little.” It was wrong, so wrong of him to push for answers when she was sick. But when did he ever let morals stop him from getting what he wanted?
That wasn’t the sort of guy he was. He wasn’t a good guy.
“Not anymore. Once, I thought I was. But Davis didn’t like it. He said I was childish and embarrassing.”
“Is that so?” he mused, grabbing a bottle of water out of the fridge. He got some painkillers, then climbed back onto the bed with them. How to get her to take them, though?
“Yeah. He didn’t even like my gnomes. I had to hide them. He threw one out once.”
“He what?” Outrage filled him. Okay, so maybe he hated Christmas, but he’d never destroy her gnomes. Or any other Christmas crap she wanted.
“It was Mr. Busy Bee. He wasn’t a Christmas gnome. He was an Easter gnome.”
“You have Easter gnomes?”
“I did before he threw him out. Lucky it wasn’t Binky.”
“Binky?”
“He’s the one I sleep with every night. I couldn’t live without Binky. I hid him pretty well each day, though. He was really lonely last night when I didn’t sleep with him.”
“Is that so?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Would you like me to go get him for you when I move the gnomes?” he asked.
“Why would you need to get him?”
“You’re spending the night here.”
“I am?” she asked.
“Yep.”
“But I don’t want to overstay my welcome,” she said sadly. “Sometimes I do that.”
“What do you mean?”
A Cozy Little Christmas Page 7