by Diane Leyne
“Yeah, what was that with the leathers? I haven’t seen you wear them again.”
“Yes, well, I was, well…I knew Micah was into BDSM. I’d let him tie me up and spank me in El Paso, but that was about it. I really didn’t know much of anything. I thought he’d find the outfit hot.”
“And now you have both of them!” Leah’s tone was admiring. “I don’t know if I’ll ever have the self-confidence to be with two men at once, although I’d love to give it a try! Especially Micah and Dace, they are both hot.”
“Not my thing.” Daisy laughed. “I may work in a BDSM club, but no man is ever tying me down and smacking my ass!”
“Famous last words,” warned Nicola. “That’s what I always said, but you know something, it kind of lights my fire, if you know what I mean! Just don’t tell the men that or they’ll keep my ass so sore I’ll never be able to sit down again!”
“So, is it serious?” asked Leah.
“Well, I’ve only known them a week,” Nicola began, but seeing Daisy’s frown, she quickly realized her mistake and amended. “I mean, since I’ve been with them together. El Paso was just me and Micah. Anyway, I like them both, I really do. Originally…originally I saw this just as an adventure. I’m between jobs, and I thought a few weeks of sex without strings would be fun, but now I’m kind of starting to feel those strings, and you know what? I kind of like them.
“So I’m not sure what I am going to do. The job itself is temporary. Cara’s coming back in less than a month if her leg is healed. I guess I’ll play it by ear and figure out what to do when she comes back. It’s not all up to me, you know. If the guys want to continue, then I’ll decide if I’m feeling it, too. It’s not like we are all in love or something. I wear a collar when we play, but they’ve been talking about doing some kind of formal collar ceremony or something, but that’s just some BDSM shit, right? It’s not like they are offering me a ring or something.”
She knew the words would have an effect, but she didn’t realize just how much. Both Leah and Daisy looked stunned.
“You really have no idea, do you?” Daisy seemed amused. “Collaring is about as serious as it gets in the BDSM world. After all, it’s not like you could marry them both. If they collar you, then you’ll belong to them. It’s a pretty big deal.”
“Really? I had no idea.”
“Oh my god!” Leah looked like she was going to cry. “You’ve only known them a week. It must have been love at first sight. That’s the most romantic thing ever, but I thought you were just passing through!”
“I was, I mean when I came here, I thought it would just be for a few weeks of fun. Now, don’t spread it around or anything. I just told you two because I feel close and I need girlfriends to talk to. Hell, maybe I won’t even agree. Submitting to them for a few weeks is a lot of fun, but collaring sounds pretty serious and permanent.”
“Oh, it is. Have you not talked to them at all about what this means?” Daisy sounded amused. “There are several variations. I once heard Dace say that when he did settle down, he and Micah wanted a Master-slave dynamic with their submissive. Are you prepared to obey them at home and not just at the club?”
“Slave?”
“Oh, Daisy, don’t make it sound so bad. It would be an honor to be their slave and wear their permanent collar. I’ll bet they get Cole Reacher to make one that doesn’t come off. He did a beautiful one for the submissive he shares with Murphy. You’ve seen Jess at the club, haven’t you, Nicola? Cole made it, and it doesn’t ever come off. It would have to be filed or something.”
“I thought it was beautiful, but I didn’t realize it was permanent.”
“Oh, yes, Jules has one, too. She wears hers on her ankle. Rumor has it that Blake and Quin use it to chain her to their bed at night.”
Nick found herself going hot and cold, and then she felt a bit lightheaded at the thought of wearing such a permanent, tangible symbol of her submission, one that couldn’t be removed, ever. She had a sudden urge to have just such a symbol, maybe a bracelet that represented her commitment, but she’d expect them to wear something, too. No way was she going to be the only one with a permanent marker of their relationship.
She gave herself a mental shake. She was starting to believe her own cover story. There was not going to be any collar or bracelet or anything. In a month, either she’d have the perp and leave, or not, and still she’d leave and go back to her job at SSP and her lonely bed.
“Ladies, it’s too soon to talk about collars. It’s not like we’ve pledged eternal love or even eternal submission.”
“You mean you don’t love them?” Leah sounded disappointed and hopeful at the same time. “Do they know that?”
“I didn’t say that, Leah. Hell, I don’t know how I feel. I can’t imagine not having them both in my life, but it’s only been a week. It’s far too soon to be declaring love. Far too soon!”
The moment the words were out of her mouth, she knew they were lies. Damn. It wasn’t too soon. Sometimes you just knew. She hadn’t come to Satisfaction to fall in love. She was killing time until she could get back to work. That was the plan. The sex was a bonus. It was an escape. When they played with her body, it drove all rational thought from her head, and for a short time, she was at peace. Afterwards, the memories always came flooding back, of course, but it seemed like each time became a little easier.
She barely spoke on the ride home, but Leah chattered on enough for the both of them. Her parents came out when Nick stopped, and she was forced, by politeness, into coming in for a cup of coffee. They tried to convince her to stay for dinner, but she had plans with Dace and Micah and made her excuses.
Chapter Ten
Later that evening, Nicola locked up and walked down the stairs. The apartment was small and warm and felt more like home than any place she’d lived in the last five years. She wouldn’t mind living there permanently, but it was generally reserved for someone working at the diner.
She was parked at the base of the stairs, but she had to pick up dinner first. The Whips and Spurs offered many things for different people, but food wasn’t one of them. It was a shame, really. They had a great kitchen set up, and originally, they’d had a cook who’d left and never been replaced. In the end, it had proved so hard to find a replacement that they’d decided to stick to easy finger foods and allow patrons to bring their own before 8:00 p.m., and the number one choice for takeout was Candy’s.
She closed at seven thirty every night but Friday and Saturday. Nicola was supposed to be at The Whips and Spurs at seven with dinner, but she didn’t want to be too early and seem eager. In fact, she’d decided to time it so she got there between five and ten minutes after seven, late enough to send a message that she wasn’t intimidated by Micah and Dace, but not so late that they’d punish her too badly for it.
It was a fine line. She’d called down at five thirty and Candy’s head chef, Noah, had answered. She was told that their order had already been placed and that she was supposed to arrive between six-thirty and six forty-five to pick it up.
She walked into Candy’s at six thirty, not able to face another minute alone in the apartment, pacing, more anxious than she wanted to admit to see Micah and Dace. She was surprised when the other woman swept her into a great big hug and drew her into the kitchen, pushing her into a seat at a small table and handing her a knife and some carrots.
“You can chop these while we talk. Noah’s on break and I’ve got to get this order out.”
“I, um, I’ve come to pick up dinner…”
“Yes, yes. Dinner for three. Ribs, fries, and salad with my homemade dressing, with apple pie for dessert. It’s coming along nicely and you’ll be out the door at seven with everything packed up and ready to go.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“Then don’t talk, chop.”
Nicola went to work, covertly watching Candy while she worked. Nicola rarely spent time in the kitchen, and the cutting and chopping was
actually very soothing. She loved to cook but it wasn’t practical to cook for one person.
She studied Dace’s sister. Candy was of average height and weight, with bright candy-apple-red hair that was definitely not natural. She was about thirty, Nicola figured, and had a smile that lit up a room. Candy worked quickly, putting together a couple of club sandwiches and a big salad with everything but the kitchen sink. Her main waitress, Lulu, came and picked it up, and then Noah walked in and try to shoo Candy away from the kitchen.
“Go, relax. I’ve got things now.” He paused and looked at the pile of vegetables that Nicola had chopped. “I’m impressed. You clearly know how to handle a knife. Let me know if you are ever looking for work. I have the feeling you know your way around a kitchen.”
Nicola found herself blushing. “I’m more of a baker than a cook. I find it relaxing.”
“Well, maybe you can bake for me sometime, but until then, I want the both of you out of my kitchen.” He glared, but Nicola wasn’t fooled. He was young and thought the glare made him seem older and more authoritative. She wanted to give him a hug and a kiss on the cheek but she didn’t want to embarrass him.
Candy looked at Nicola and then back at Noah. “Fine. I’m going, I’m going. And I’m taking Nicola with me. The kitchen is yours again.” She grinned and hustled Nicola into the dining room and over to a table at the back.
“Okay, we’re alone now. Spill.”
“Excuse me?”
“Spill. Dish. All the details. Are you in love with my brother? Or with Micah? Or both? Or neither?”
Nicola froze.
Candy laughed. “I know, I know. I can come on pretty strong sometimes, but you are involved with my brother and his best friend. Dace is a big boy, as is Micah. But that doesn’t mean they can’t be hurt. They’ve watched over me all my life, but now it’s my turn to watch over them.”
“You are worried that I’ll hurt them?”
“Will you?”
Nicola tried to talk, but no words came out.
Candy sighed. “Are you in love with them?”
“Yes.”
Nicola surprised herself as the word popped out under Candy’s laser gaze. Damn, that woman should be a professional interrogator. There would be no secrets safe from her.
“But I didn’t mean to admit that. For Dace and Micah, it’s only a game, part of my cover until I can find out who’s been targeting Whips. They have no interest in a real relationship. Besides, I have, well…I’m not at a good place in my life. A real relationship is hard enough, but…”
“Look, I know who you really are. Remember, I’m good friends with Jess Archer. She used to live in that apartment you are using. Her brother is Tait Sorenson, and his partner is Aaron Day.”
“And then you have probably heard about my last assignment.”
“Not a lot. Neither Tait nor Aaron speak out of turn, but before we knew you were coming here, they told me a bit about this amazing female agent who’d been deep undercover for a year and had actually had to sleep with the enemy to keep a woman and her son safe until they could be rescued from the cartels.”
“Then you know I failed and they died.”
“I know that you risked your own life to save the child and blew your cover to do it. You were tortured.”
“I survived. He didn’t.”
“You still blame yourself.”
“I do.” She felt herself wanting to talk under Candy’s direct gaze. She wanted to tell her all the things she had refused to tell the company-appointed shrink. “I have nightmares sometimes. I should have been able to help them. Sue trusted me and she died. They both did.”
“Survivor’s guilt.”
“What?”
“You have survivor’s guilt. I’m tempted to tell you to just get over it. Life goes on, but I know it isn’t that easy.”
“No, it isn’t.”
“Don’t do anything rash, and don’t make anyone else pay for your pain. Dace and Micah are great guys. If you are really interested in them, great. But if you aren’t, please be upfront with them. I’m all for the joys of casual sex, but I know my brother and I know Micah. They aren’t casual about you. They may say they are, but I know them. They’re falling hard.”
“Hell, Candy. I’m messed up. I can’t be in a real relationship, not now. I’m not sure if I ever will be ready. You know I was sleeping with the guy who killed the boy. Getting information from him to feed my boss. We have enough to convict him for a dozen other crimes, but they persuaded me to stay undercover, that there would be more we could get on the higher-ups. The woman was helping me. She had been my way into the organization, and in return, I’d promised to help her and her son get out. When my cover got blown, it didn’t take much for anyone to connect the dots. He did it right in front of me and made me watch. Then he raped me for the first time.” Nicola stopped abruptly. “I don’t know why I told you all that. I didn’t even tell the company shrink. Look, it’s my burden to bear. I let myself be talked into doing something against my better judgment and two people are dead. Do not tell Micah or Dace. Please. Promise me.”
She could see the hesitation in Candy’s face as she nodded reluctantly.
“Just know I’m here to talk, any time you need someone to listen. My brother and Micah are good listeners, too.”
“Thanks.”
They sat in silence for a few minutes.
“How do you know Tait and Aaron? Through Jess?”
“Sort off. I used to go out with them.”
“You used to date Tait and Aaron? How long ago?”
“Well, um, I haven’t actually told them yet that we’ve broken up, but I will soon.”
“Holy shit. Just give me warning before you do. I was just in the El Paso office the last few weeks, although I’m normally based in the East. I’ve known Tait and Aaron for years, and I’ve never seen them so happy. Tait’s been walking on air lately, and oh, if you dump them, I don’t know, Candy. It’s not going to be pretty.”
“Please don’t tell them. I will soon, but it’s hard.”
“You love them. I can see it in your face. A fine right you have to give me love advice when you are planning to dump two men that you love. Why?”
“Why? It’s a long story.”
“Hey, I spilled my guts to you. Your turn!”
Candy looked rueful, but she nodded. Before she could speak, though, Noah came up with several large packages.
Candy laughed. “Saved by the short ribs.”
“This conversation isn’t done, my friend.”
“I know, I know. Now go. Neither Dace nor Micah are known for their patience, and your ass will pay if you are too late.”
Nicola picked up the bags and headed for the door, escorted by Candy.
“You know, I’d love to have you as my sister-in-law, or in-collar, or whatever the correct term is. Please don’t hurt them, but don’t hurt yourself either. You are vulnerable, and Dace and Micah are pretty damned forceful at times.”
“Now that’s the understatement of the century.”
Candy hugged her as she left and hurried around to the back parking lot. Nicola checked her watch and sighed. It was almost seven. She’d have to hustle not to be late, or rather too late. There was no way she wouldn’t be a little late.
Going around to the passenger side of her SUV, she stopped abruptly. There was a vicious scratch on the side.
It said, Slut!
* * * *
Dace put down his cell phone as Micah approached his table. He knew his face was pale, but he tried to keep his features composed.
“Was that Nicola? What’s her excuse for being late? Not that I care”—Micah smiled—“because it gives me an excuse to spank that sweet ass of hers.”
Dace didn’t say anything at first and watched as Micah’s smile faded. “What’s wrong?”
“She didn’t give me a lot of details…Apparently someone scratched the word Slut on her SUV.”
“Serio
usly? Damn. She’s not hurt?” Micah frowned. “That’s direct. None of the previous incidents were that…focused. It doesn’t make sense. Could it be partly about us and not just the saloon or the club?” He hesitated. “I think I preferred it when it was just someone who had a problem with bars and booze or, more likely, a sex club.”
“Relax, Micah. It’s just graffiti again.”
“Graffiti directed at Nicola.”
“Yes, a woman who could probably kick both our asses if she put her mind to it. She’s a trained agent. She can look after herself with no help from us.” Dace exhaled. “She told me that she’d prefer if I kept out of her way on this, but because she has to keep up her cover, I sent a deputy down to fingerprint the SUV on the off chance the perp was careless. She told me not to do the investigation just because it was her. She’d call it in like any other victim. I told her that it made more sense for me to come out since I was supposed to be her Dom. I could, however, come out as the outraged boyfriend, and you could come, too, in that role. But she said she’d probably learn more if it were one of my deputies. I thought of going out anyway, but she’d probably kick both of our butts if we interfered with her investigation.”
“Shit! It’s not that I want her to be a helpless little woman protected by her big, bad boyfriends. I want her to be a strong, independent woman protected by her big, bad boyfriends.”
“Me too. I’m going to call Jasper and send him out to do the printing.”
“Dace, are you sure she’s okay? I get that she’s a professional, but still, that was a kind of personal attack.”