by Cindy Bell
More than once she longed for the peace that her sister seemed to have. She didn’t see as deep into people as Lucy did, and as a result she had more friends and more fun. It wasn’t exactly envy that she felt for her sister, but a form of admiration that bubbled up and spilled over whenever she saw her embrace Noah, or dote on Greg. Maybe if her instincts weren’t so strong she’d live a very different life. Or maybe, she wouldn’t. She closed her eyes and willed herself to ignore the sensation. When she reached her bed she collapsed into it with the hope that everything would be clearer in the morning.
Chapter 11
Something wet pushed against Lucy’s cheek. Then against her nose. Then pointed paws traipsed along her shoulder and the back of her neck.
“Mia.” She groaned and rolled over slow enough for the cat to jump down before she was caught beneath her. Though the cat evaded her weight, Lucy didn’t evade the weight of the day. Derek’s funeral was only an hour away and she needed to get up. There was no question about what she would wear, she only had one dark dress. She’d worn it to only one funeral. She zipped the back of the black dress and gazed in the mirror. It seemed unreal to be dressing for Derek’s funeral. When she grabbed her purse and walked towards the front door, Mia jumped down from her perch on the back of the couch. She wound her body through Lucy’s legs.
“It’s all right, I’m going to be okay.” She leaned down and stroked the cat’s fur. “Thanks for checking on me, sweetie.”
Lucy opened the door and stepped outside into the bright morning sun. As she drove towards the funeral home apprehension built within her. Emotional occasions were always difficult for her. She could sense what other people felt, on top of everything that she felt. When she arrived there were already several cars in the parking lot, including Chantelle’s. She greeted her sister, mother, and embraced her nephew. When Noah held out his arms for a hug she gritted her teeth and hugged him. She expected to feel something awful when she hugged him, instead she felt a sense of calmness. She pulled away and excused herself to greet a few of Derek’s friends.
When the funeral began she sat numbly through the ritual. After the funeral they all traveled in a group to the cemetery. Surrounded by so many emotions she couldn’t figure out which were hers and which belonged to others. With her hands clasped behind her back she endured the curious looks that many turned in her direction. As the crowd began to disperse, Lance walked towards her.
“How are you?” He offered a subdued smile.
“As well as I can be. And you?”
“I’m okay.” He squinted back at the grave for a moment.
“I’m surprised he is here.” Lance pursed his lips. Lucy looked in the same direction. She saw Chantelle, Greg, and Noah.
“My nephew Greg? Why?” She looked back at him.
“Not Greg. Noah.”
“Huh? Do you know him?”
“Not exactly. I know of him.”
“How do you know of him?”
“This probably isn’t the time to discuss it.” He frowned and tilted his head towards the casket.
“Wait, Lance. Please, tell me how you know Noah.”
“Not now.” Lance locked eyes with her. “Now is not the time.”
“Okay.” Lucy watched as Lance walked off. She looked down at the ground then she walked towards Derek’s grave. She lingered beside the grave for a few minutes, then turned to walk away. Ahead of her she saw Noah, her sister, and her nephew. They stood in a tight knot not far from Jacqueline who talked with a few women her age that gathered beside the parked cars. She swept her gaze through the crowd in search of Lance. She wanted to speak with him again, but she couldn’t find him in the crowd. As she joined her family, she couldn’t help but study Noah. Could what Lance said be true? Noah had never been anything but kind to her. Yet maybe there were things about him that she simply didn’t recognize.
“Lucy?” Noah touched her shoulder, then rested his palm against it. “Would you like to ride with us to the gym?”
“No, that’s okay, I prefer to drive.” She drew back from his touch and looked into his eyes. “How are you, Noah?”
“I’m doing okay. It’s hard to see Greg going through so much though.”
“Yes.” Her heart softened as she looked in Greg’s direction. He wasn’t crying but he looked sad. “If there’s anything I can do to help, please just let me know.”
“We’re all concerned about you too, Lucy.”
“Thanks Noah, but I’m doing okay.”
Lucy split away from the rest of her family and walked towards her car. Once inside the tears began to form. She allowed herself a few minutes to cry. Then she wiped her tears and forced down her grief. Today wasn’t just about a funeral, it was an opportunity to see the people who cared about Derek in one room. Which meant that it was possible that the killer would be there.
Lucy drove to the gym with her heart in her throat. When she parked she noticed that there were just as many cars in the parking lot as there had been at the funeral. It was nice to see that so many wanted to say goodbye to Derek, but it would also make it harder for her to sort out who the killer might be. One of the first people she saw when she stepped inside was Sharon. She was alone near the front desk.
“Hi Sharon.” Lucy walked up to her and offered her hand. “I’m so sorry for your loss.”
“Oh mine?” Sharon smiled. “From what I hear you’re the grieving widow.”
“I’m sorry?” Lucy stared at her.
“Didn’t anyone know that he broke up with you? Are you doing this for the attention?”
“Sharon please, that’s not the case at all. Yes, some people didn’t know, we’d only broken up a few weeks ago and we didn’t announce it. But I’m not trying to get any attention. All I want is to figure out who did this to him. I know how close you two were. I was hoping that you might be able to give me an idea of who might have had a problem with him?”
“It was Noah that had a problem with him.”
“Noah?” She stared at her. “You’ve met him as well? What problem did he have with Derek?”
“You didn’t know?” She laughed. “I thought that Derek would have mentioned it when the two of you broke up. He was probably part of the reason that Derek finally gave up on the relationship.”
“That’s not true at all. Derek and I broke up because we were too different. It had nothing to do with Noah. They got along just fine.”
“Then I guess you were a little too distracted to know what was going on with your boyfriend. Noah showed up here one day when I finished a class. I overheard the two of them arguing.”
“I can’t imagine the two of them arguing.” Lucy placed her hands on her hips and studied Sharon. “Maybe you heard them wrong.”
“No, I didn’t. Noah told him point blank that Greg was his kid and Derek needed to back off or he wasn’t going to allow him to continue to attend the weightlifting sessions.”
“Seriously?” Lucy shook her head as her hands fell back to her sides. “What did Derek say?”
“He told him that Greg talked to him because he treated him like an adult and didn’t constantly correct him. That it was good for a boy to have someone to turn to that he thought he could trust. That really upset Noah. He told Derek that if he kept interfering with his relationship with his son, he was going to have a real problem with him. Word for word.” She clucked her tongue. “It’s funny that he threatened Derek and then a few days later he shows up dead. Isn’t it?” She locked eyes with Lucy. “Maybe he waited until you and Derek broke up so that you wouldn’t be upset when he had it out with Derek. Hmm?”
“I don’t believe this. Noah is a level-headed guy. If he had a problem with Derek he would have come to me about it.”
“You may think that, but men have their own way of doing things. Derek probably didn’t want you to know how crazy Noah is.”
“Noah isn’t crazy. If he was upset with Derek he probably had a reason.”
“It’s e
asy to believe that, but when the truth comes out it can be quite different. So who are you going to believe, Lucy? Derek treated you like gold, I’m sure he wouldn’t appreciate you being friendly with his killer.”
“Stop it.” Lucy glared at her. “There’s no way that Noah killed Derek.”
“Keep telling yourself that.” Sharon winked, then turned and walked away. With Lucy’s heart pounding she looked over at Noah. He nodded to her with a slight smile. Could a man that she trusted with her sister and her nephew really be a killer? She couldn’t wait any longer to talk to him. As she walked towards him, he turned to face her. He opened his mouth to speak, but she interrupted before he could.
“Can I speak to you for a minute? Alone?”
“Sure.” He glanced at Chantelle. “Is that all right with you, hon?”
“Of course.” Chantelle squeezed her sister’s hand. “Whatever you need, Lucy.”
Lucy turned and walked towards a hallway that led away from the main area of the gym. She could hear Noah’s footsteps as he followed behind her. Once they were out of earshot of the others, she turned to face him.
“I need to ask you something.”
“Whatever you need, just ask. You know I’m always here for you, Lucy.” Lucy swallowed hard in reaction to his profession of loyalty. It made her sick to even consider the possibility that Noah could have had something to do with Derek’s death. The more she thought about it the more the pieces fit together, but the one that really mattered, didn’t fit at all. She knew Noah. She loved him. He couldn’t be a killer.
“Did you get a text from Derek the night he was killed?”
His expression shifted from compassion to suspicion. “Why?”
“What do you mean why? It might be the last text he ever sent. Did you get a text from him or not?”
“What is this about?” He rested his hand on the wall beside her shoulder and shifted his body in front of hers.
“I just told you what it’s about. I want to know if you got a text or not.”
“Yes.” His brows knitted. “I did. He invited me over to hash out an issue we were having.”
“What issue?”
“I’d rather not say.”
“Noah!”
“Lucy, I’m not proud of it, okay? When he texted me I ignored it. I didn’t meet him. Maybe if I had, things wouldn’t have happened the way they did. Is that what you want to hear? Do I blame myself for Derek’s death? Yes, okay? I do. If I had gone over maybe he wouldn’t have been alone when he was attacked.”
She was stunned by his confession. It was impossible for her to picture him hurting Derek. But to think that he held himself responsible was even more of a surprise. Faced with the pain in his expression, she wrapped her arms around him and hugged him just as she would her sister.
“Noah, it’s not your fault.”
“I’m sorry, Lucy. I know you two would have stayed close no matter what. I feel like if I had just gone over like he asked, he might still be here.”
“Why did he ask?” She pulled away and looked into his eyes. “What was going on between you two?”
“It’s so embarrassing.” He shook his head. “I wish none of it had ever happened. I was being a jealous idiot.”
“Jealous?”
“I saw Greg getting wrapped up in everything Derek taught him. Greg was calling him for advice, he wanted to spend all of his time with him, and I just felt like I was losing my son. I mean, I can’t even really claim him as my son, can I?” He frowned.
“You are Greg’s father, Noah, none of us doubt that.”
“I guess, maybe I do. I feel like I have to prove it all of the time. I got upset with Derek because when I tried to get Greg to take a few days off from training and go on a trip with me, he insisted that he attend his training sessions with Derek instead. I know Derek was only trying to help Greg be healthy, I just hated the idea of another man taking my place in Derek’s life.”
“It’s not foolish, Noah. It just shows me how much you care about Greg.”
“Please don’t mention it to Chantelle. I don’t want her to know.”
“I’ll do my best.” Lucy nodded. She couldn’t promise to keep anything from her sister but as long as she didn’t ask, she wouldn’t tell. “You’d better get back. Thanks for telling me the truth, Noah.”
He nodded to her as he walked away. Noah’s strong frame and broad shoulders always gave her the impression that he was in control of everything, but now she understood that he was just as afraid and insecure as everyone else.
After she made the rounds and spoke to a few more people she decided it was time to leave. She needed quiet to sort through her thoughts.
Chapter 12
Only a few minutes after Lucy arrived home from the funeral she heard a knock on the front door. When she answered, she discovered her sister.
“Chantelle, what are you doing here?”
“I know, I know, you said you wanted to be alone. But I’m sorry I just couldn’t let you be alone, not today.”
“That’s sweet of you.” She hugged her sister and led her inside. “I just needed to get away from the crowd.”
“I understand. You know, when Larry died, it was very hard for me, too.”
“I know it was.” She sat down on the couch and took her sister’s hand. “But it’s not the same thing. You and Larry were married and had a son together, Derek and I were just dating.”
“Maybe it isn’t the same, but you lost someone you cared about, and I think that feels about the same way. The day of his funeral, you were my only comfort. I remember the way you kept steering all of the well-meaning people away. You were a lifesaver.”
“I just thought you had enough on your mind.”
“And I’m sure you do, too. I just want to be that comfort for you, if I can.” She met her eyes. “I can tell that something is really bothering you, Lucy.”
“You’re right.” She sighed and looked down at her fingernails. “I’m disappointed that I haven’t figured out what happened to Derek.”
“Sometimes you just don’t get to know. Mysteries go unsolved. Are you prepared to accept that?”
“No.” She shook her head. “I’m absolutely not. So let’s not think about it right now. I want to talk about something else.”
“What else?” She shifted closer to her on the couch. “Give me a topic and I’ll talk your ear off.”
“Okay. What is Noah’s family like?”
“His family?” Chantelle shrugged. “I honestly don’t know that much about them. His parents passed away before I met him and he has some cousins, but I’ve never met them.”
“What about his childhood, what was it like?”
“Why are you asking me so much about Noah?”
“I figured if he’s going to propose and make an honest woman out of you then I should get to know him better. The more I think about it, the more I realize I don’t know much about him. I’ve been neglecting my sisterly duties.”
“You know what matters, he’s a good man who loves me and my son.”
“Do you ever wonder if he’s a little too attached to Greg?”
“Too attached?” She laughed. “I’m not sure how to answer that. I mean, aren’t parents supposed to be attached to their children?”
“Yes, but it seems like Noah is pretty wrapped up in his life.”
“Is this about him coming down on him about the police bringing him to the patisserie? Lucy, you have to understand, Noah’s only trying to protect him, and so am I.”
“No, it’s not about that. I’m sorry, it’s a tough topic. Let’s talk about something else. Anything else.”
“What are we going to do about Mom’s naked statue?”
“Ugh.” She flopped back against the couch. “That is a very good question. That thing has to go.”
“I don’t even know why she bought it. She’s usually so proper about things like that.”
“Who knows. Sometimes I think her eccen
tric ways are just to keep us on our toes.”
“You are probably right about that.” Chantelle laughed and soon the two sisters were distracted from every difficulty in their lives as they recounted memories of their mother’s adventures. By the time Chantelle left for the evening, Lucy felt a lot calmer. Maybe she didn’t know the truth about Derek’s death yet, but she was lucky enough to have a sister who could keep her company through any difficulty.
After forcing a small amount of food into her stomach, she sat down in the middle of her bed and tried to clear her mind. If Derek was ever going to communicate with her this would be the time. She waited for a sensation of his presence, or any presence. While she remained as still as she could she evened out her breaths and soon felt the muscles in her body begin to unfurl into a relaxed state. As her mind fluttered with an attempt to keep a grasp on reality she drew another slow breath and released that fear. With her mind shifted into another state she welcomed Derek’s presence. Still, she was greeted with only silence and an empty room. Just when she was ready to give up Mia jumped up onto the bed and curled up in her lap. The sudden movement made her jump and cry out with surprise. Mia gazed up at her, content as ever, ignorant of the disruption that she caused.
“Mia, you’re going to give me a heart attack.” She frowned and reached for her phone. She’d switched it to silent before she started the meditation. Now she saw that she’d missed quite a few messages from her mother.
“Please come and see me. Your father just got in and he’s worried about you.”
The remainder of the messages were a varied version of the same request. The last thing she wanted to do was leave the house, but she knew that her father really would be concerned. He traveled often for work and hadn’t been able to make it back in time for the funeral. She gathered a few things then left the house to drive to her parents’ house. It was only a few streets away. When she arrived she noticed that Chantelle’s car was in the driveway as well. With a light knock on the door she opened it and stepped inside. Her father stood up to greet her from the couch.