My eyes skimmed to the right and held on a certain litigator. “Your name does fit.” The delegates literally controlled the land. And, survivable land was everything to any race.
No remorse. “Yes, Ms. Valorn.”
My lips twitched. “Will you say ‘cow’ for me?”
The vehicle went quiet, almost everyone staring at me in shock.
Except for Rule. No, his eyes showed nothing from under his hood. “Cow.”
I grinned. I couldn’t help it. “Thank you, Rule.”
He dipped his head once. “You’re most welcome, Ms. Valorn.”
And…I was pretty sure I saw him smile—just a little—as he turned his head away to gaze out the window. He was definitely an interesting man. One to watch. One to have on my side. He may not have been initially impressed by me when we had first met, but Rule was made of flesh and blood. And everyone had their quirks. I just hoped I was a pleasant one for him.
Stepping from the vehicle, the front entrance to the lavish hotel held my attention. Up above on the mounting steps to the open double front door of the glass structure were my Vaq. They stood side-by-side, both with their arms crossed and feet spread in a solid pose of intimidation. Their own guards dressed in black, just as the Plumas of the easts were, flanked them for this greeting of warring factions. The oxygen in my lungs was non-existent as I peered back and forth between Malik and Leo, a man of gold light, and a man of black darkness.
Though I knew, their appearances were the exact opposite of their personalities.
A trick they held close.
It had worked on me, I was ashamed to admit. But it wouldn’t happen again.
Touching where the Solo on the back of my neck had adhered to my flesh, I was eternally grateful to now have it. I could observe and decide on my own free will what I truly thought of my Vaq.
Rule stared up where they gazed down at me, and then turned his attention to me. “Do you need a few minutes, Ms. Valorn?” He lowered his head and spoke gently. “They are not as frightening as they appear.”
“I know that,” I snapped. My feet were moving before I could stop myself, righteous survival instincts keeping my back ramrod straight. Never show fear to a Mian. Never. The rest of the entourage quickly followed, though Killeg and Phila hadn’t left my side, nearly in perfect sync with me. My Vaq held their ground, evaluating the scene, waiting for me to come to them. I had fled them. It was only natural. I swallowed silently on a dry throat as I ascended the stairs, each one taking me closer to my fate.
When I was in the wake of the light from the open doors, my feet faltered. A quick hand on my back from Jax kept me moving. With determination to show no fear, I stopped mere inches away from my Vaq. I tilted my chin up, raised my brows, and stated coolly, “Malik. Leo.”
My eyes widened in shock, and a harsh grunt escaped past my lips, when Leo grabbed my right wrist and pulled me over to the ‘side’ of the west. I grumbled softly, but he hadn’t hurt me. In fact, his touch had been remarkably gentle, a beautiful dance of defense, twirling me to face the Plumas of the east. It was hard to not roll my eyes as Malik and he stepped even closer together, squishing me between the two of them. “Okay, okay. I get it.”
Malik grunted, his silver gaze swinging down to mine. My lips thinned seeing what he showed no one else. Deep hurt—the kind that tormented until you go insane or put a knife to your own throat.
I had done this to him. To them.
Me.
I had caused them this much pain.
Bit by bit, my head lowered in shame, my gut churning in sickening heat. A roaring toilet might be needed if I didn’t take calming breaths. It had been explained that a great distance away from their Soul would mentally deplete them, but what I had done had also physically disbanded them. I was betting they had hardly slept because of the worry over my well-being on an alien planet.
Dammit, how the hell was I supposed to escape if I felt this way?
Inhaling deeply and exhaling grandly.
Freedom. My freedom. I tilted my chin up in defiance.
I had done what I had done. I wouldn’t bow down for my actions.
It had been needed. And my adventures outside of their land had been fruitful.
I now knew more than they would have told me in a year.
Though, I did say honestly, “I am sorry.”
Leo lifted a hand, and his long, strong fingers tilted my chin in his direction. Brutal golden eyes held my gaze without flinching. “As are we.”
“True,” Malik stated solemnly.
“Although…” Leo’s golden brows touched together over his gaze, and he sniffed in my direction. “I do find it curious how you smell of them.” He bent as I tried not to freeze at his words, bringing his face ever so close to mine. The tip of his nose touched mine, and he inhaled deeply. Quietly, he tipped his head from one side to the other, running his nose gently over my cheeks, breathing in acutely. Just as smoothly, he hummed deep in his throat, lifting to his full height. Still with his grip on my chin, he brushed his thumb in a tender caress over my thinned lips. “I think Malik and I need some time alone with you.”
“I’m agreeable to that.” Shit. I shouldn’t have tipped my head away from Rule when he had sprayed me down. “Though, I should explain I slept in their bed—while they slept on their couch in another room. That’s why I smell of them.” Time to lie. Make it believable. I scrunched my face in false disgust. “Nothing sexual happened between us.”
Malik murmured, oh so, calmly, “We know they wouldn’t be so stupid.”
Threat. Threats were everywhere. “Shall we go inside?”
Leo rubbed his thumb over my lips once more, watching the action closely, before turning his glowing golden gaze on Killeg and Phila. “Yes, let’s do.”
Dinner time with the Mian was more like feeding time with the Mian. If I waited a full week to eat too, then I would probably pile my plate as high as they did. Sitting with our group at a fine dining table, this was all very civil. I kept my attention firmly off the man who I believed to be responsible for this.
Rule. The man of the hour who was keeping the conversation rolling.
Instead, I picked at my food, keeping my attention on my plate. I needed a game plan.
Leo and Malik were suspicious, their understated flicked glares at Killeg and Phila not missed.
Stiller was doing a fine job, responding to all of Rule’s headways into conversation, pulling his Plumas into the discussion as well. Jax sat beside him, silently glancing at me every so often.
I did flick a quick glare in his direction. I was thinking. I didn’t need his concern right now.
Oh! I knew what to do. Humor and protection were always decent topics. It would make my Vaq pleased to know I had been in safe-keeping with the other Plumas. I cleared my throat when the conversation lulled and peered across the table to the Plumas of the east. “Killeg, Phila, why don’t you tell Malik and Leo about my idiocy at the Crank Pit? And how you two got me out of there without your people coming after me?”
Stone, cold silence met my question. Tendrils of fear shivered down my spine as one and all turned their direct attention to me. Some had wide eyes of shock. Others with exasperation—Jax.
My expression couldn’t be more confused, even if my voice whispered, “What did I do now?”
Rule instantly leaned forward, directing everyone’s gaze toward him. “I’m sure she meant to address the Plumas by their formal titles.” His blue gaze snapped toward mine. “Not so informally.”
I stared at the man. Was he kidding?
By the severe way his radiant eyes held mine, he was not.
Leisurely, I sat back on the hard as hell formal chair. I lifted my glass of water, took a small sip before stating casually, “Perhaps in the beginning, it was appropriate. But after my ordeals since I arrived on this planet, I’ll call them whatever I wish—which, I might add, is by their given names.” I lifted my brows in challenge—all bravado. He may rule t
he force field, but I knew the way around political diplomacies. “I am the Soul to the Plumas of the west.” I was more worried about what my Vaq thought of me calling them as such than what he deemed polite.
Killeg tilted his head, his crazy ass hair not moving an inch. “Pluma Moir and I find no offense. She may call us what she wishes.” His blue gaze altered in my direction. His lips quirked up at the corners, just this way of gracious, not flirting. “You should be happy, Rule. We have found a friend in the Soul to our enemies of the west. Isn’t that correct…Braita?”
Okay. Never mind. That last bit was a jab at my Vaq. But, hell, I had to go along with him or it would look like I was trying to cover something up. Mother Joyal, figuring out oneself—one’s own heart—should not be this difficult. I tipped my head down in respect. “Correct, Killeg.” With innocent eyes, I peered to my left, and then right, directly at my Vaq, who were silently watching on. “You don’t mind, do you?” I had them there. It would be rude now to say anything besides my biddings.
But Malik surprised me. He grunted, and shoved out of his chair. Tossing his linen napkin on the table, he pulled me out of my chair. Staring harshly at Leo, he growled, “We’re going to our room. Now.”
“But…but…” I sputtered, not ready for this interrogation yet. It didn’t matter though. Leo was out of his chair in a blur, both of them holding my hands and pulling me from the formal dinner.
I glanced over my shoulder, back to the table.
My eyes widened in fear, seeing Killeg already on his feet and Phila twirling his steak knife through his fingers. I shook my head in a hurry. Those expressions meant the possibility of war.
All while Rule was sitting back on his chair, arms crossed and shaking his head at the shamble of a mess I had ultimately created. Yet again.
This wasn’t good. Not good at all.
Ah, hell.
The knife was airborne from Phila’s fingers, rushing past our heads.
It lodged to the hilt in the closed door we had almost reached.
My Vaq stopped dead in their tracks, jerking me to a halt with them.
There was a beat of silence inside the room before Phila stated gently, “Killeg and I said we would bring Braita back to you two assholes. But nowhere did we say we wouldn’t take her right back with us if we deemed it necessary—by our laws.” He paused, his tone so damn light. “Take your hands off of her and ask her if she wants to go with you.”
I stood stock still, my eyes glued to the hilt of the knife.
I wasn’t even sure I breathed—the tension palpable.
His voice strained with fury, Leo asked, “Braita, are we hurting you?”
I wheezed, “No.” Their grips on my wrists were light.
Killeg commented further, “She is not a pet to be led about.” She is your Soul. His words were unspoken, but so very heard in the quiet. “We treat our females with respect, in case you have forgotten.”
In the unacceptable silence, Malik let go of my arm. Then Leo followed.
Both turned their heads to me, their faces grim from taking—lawful—orders from their enemies. Malik spoke first, asking in the gentlest, strangled tone, “Braita, will you please accompany us to Malik’s and my bedroom?”
My chest squeezed inside my chest at his tortured silver gaze. Quickly, I nodded once. My hand found the door handle to the closed, knifed door, and I twisted in a hurry. I may not be ready for this, but I would be damned if I didn’t hear them out. Stiffly, they followed me out into the commons area of the hotel until I let them lead the way to their bedroom. They behaved the entire way.
Evidence of how long Malik and Leo had been staying in this hotel was apparent. Clothes hung haphazardly in the open closet of their room. Many luggage bags lined the side of the posh room. Books from their own bedroom back in Belvar littered the floor. Their toiletries were scattered across the double vanity in the bathroom.
It was also evident in the way they were comfortable with the space, flopping down with great exhaustion on a red leather couch.
Again, the realization I had done this to them hit me hard in the stomach.
So much pain caused. By me.
No. I paused in thought as I sat on the soft, red leather chair opposite them. They had done this to themselves with their dishonesty. Cause and effect. The oldest rule in the book.
Malik’s heartfelt silver gaze showed he knew it, too. His words only cemented my theory. “Braita, this is all of our fault. Every word you said to us during the conference call has weighed heavily on our minds.” He ran his hands over his tan face, and then yanked his black straight hair back into a low ponytail, working his strands in rough agitated movements, mad at himself. “We are so damned sorry we lied to you.”
Leo bent over, his elbows on his knees as he held his head in his hands. He stared at the ground like a man drunken on too much alcho-brew. “I wish we could just start over. We would have handled things much differently.” He gripped his golden hair in his fists. “We screwed up. We know it.”
I bit my lower lip when my chin began to tremble. I would not cry. But, hell, my chest hurt so damn bad. I had missed them. I had missed being in their mere presence, just to sit next to them in the quiet or read over Malik’s shoulder or play stupid games together or merely…to hear them breathe. They were the first individuals on this planet I had trusted. They had been my home, the whole reason why my previous experience with them stabbed so deeply in the heart it was traumatizing. I quickly brushed away a tear when it burned down my cheek. My voice was a quiet rasp. “You’ve honestly missed me?”
Leo’s head snapped up, his golden gaze only for me. “Braita, yes. Yes, we’ve missed you.”
I blinked quickly to keep any more tears from shedding. “Only because it mentally tore the two of you apart having me so far away?”
Malik answered gently, “Because we’ve come to care for you. Deeply.” His attention swung to the bed and lowered to the ground. “I’ve even missed you sleeping between Leo and me.” A head tilt to his lover, the other half of his Vaq, but his regard met mine. His small smile was bittersweet, although adorable. “He kicks in his sleep.”
Abruptly, I chuckled. It was a little watery, a few more tears spilling. “I remember.”
Quiet descended as they watched me, and I watched them in return. Each evaluating.
My eyes ran over their sharp and keen features. They were like the sunset I used to watch on Joyal, blessed in beauty and with the ability to make me feel warm inside with contentment. A sight I would joyfully view again and again, trying to memorize such a vision.
And they were my Vaq.
Leo cracked his neck and failed miserably at not appearing nervous. His words came to a halt and flow that made me want to rub his back to let him know everything would be all right. Eventually. “I was thinking…maybe…Well, I thought we could start fresh. A…a new beginning.”
Malik quickly added, “If you’ll allow it.”
I blinked. “And if I don’t?” Would they throw me in a vault somewhere?
Little dots of sweat began to appear on Leo’s forehead, but his strong tenor was returning. “Then it is your choice. No Soul must stay with their Vaq. As is our law.”
Malik grunted quietly, tilting his head, examining my face. “Is there a reason why you wouldn’t give us another shot? Even a hundred more since you know we’re made for each other?”
I thought it prudent not to answer the question. For many reasons. Instead, I stated, “I am your Soul, so yes, we are bound no matter what.” I flicked a finger between the two of them. “I’ve missed you both so very much, but I’ll be honest. I hate how I feel I have no freedom. I thought I’d be able to handle it, to help Joyal and its citizens, but I’ve found, without my freedom, I push even harder for it. Possibly even more recklessly for it.” I tilted my chin up in stubbornness. “If I do this, if we start over, you’ll have to give me space to be myself. To be free. While still getting to know each other again.” A
s long as I was here and not escaping with Jax for true freedom from the Mian. Damn, my life was complicated.
Neither made a peep, eyeing me.
“What?”
Leo’s golden brows rose. “You’re being evasive.”
Am not. Probably am. “Can you blame me?”
“More evasion.” Malik rested back, at ease. He raised his arms to the top of the couch, ticking his fingers where they rested on the red leather as he evaluated me. Eventually, in the quiet, his silver gaze never having left mine, he asked, “Has something intimate happened between you and the other Plumas?”
Well, fuck. “No.”
Leo took his turn to lean back, spreading his legs wide and placing his hands behind his head. Relaxed and aloof while his golden gaze honed directly on me. “No?”
Instant. Easy. “No.” Maybe one day I would tell them. Maybe. If I was still here.
Leo hummed.
Malik grunted softly.
I didn’t fidget, but I wanted to. After all, this was a lie. For the exact reason I had admonished them. Though, to be perfectly fair, it had been clear my Vaq and I were not ‘together’ when I had left Belvar. When they had lied, it hadn’t been so obvious. Truly, I wasn’t sure if they even needed to know about the private kiss shared by the Plumas of the east and myself…and them wanting me to figure out my feelings for my Vaq. I barely choked out, “What?”
And the fact I didn’t mind being around Killeg and Phila too much. Enjoyed it, really.
I actually liked flirting with them.
And kissing them.
They had seemed to like it, too.
Wait. As an afterthought, perhaps my Vaq should know one day, so they weren’t surprised with a sword in the back—if I chose them.
Bless Mother Joyal, I had no clue how I had gotten myself into this much trouble.
“Nothing,” Malik murmured.
“Okay…” I glanced between them, silent on the couch. “So we’re good? We’ll start fresh?”
“Of course,” Leo answered.
Stop (Cold Mark Book 3) Page 2