by Jaden Skye
Cindy turned and looked into the room and saw Tara and Lynch, drawing closer, speaking to each other tearfully. “I think it’s best to leave them alone for now,” Cindy said quietly. “Let’s all go down to the restaurant and have some lunch.” Cindy was hungry, it was almost mid-afternoon.
“I’m not leaving Tara alone for a minute,” said Aldon.
Cindy shook her head slowly. “It’s up to you, of course, but if you push too hard, it will backfire.”
Aldon took that in quietly. “Okay, maybe you’re right, but I’m still staying here. There’s no reason for us all to have lunch. You’ve both done you’re job. You can leave now.”
Cindy didn’t like the brusque way Aldon tried to discharge her. Things were far from over and he knew that. “Tara’s not ready for me to go, yet,” she replied.
Aldon backtracked a second. “If anything turns up and we need you, I’ll be sure to call you again.”
“This isn’t over,” said Cindy slowly.
“You’ve done a fine job and I’m grateful,” Aldon insisted.
Mattheus turned away, saying nothing.
“You both have your room here paid for another few days,” Aldon continued. “Please stay and continue to enjoy the island at my expense.”
*
Mattheus didn’t want to stay and enjoy the island, he couldn’t stand Aldon and wanted to get out of here as fast as he could. Cindy felt differently. She was tired, oddly saddened and wanted to rest and regroup.
“Speak about an in-law from hell,” Mattheus muttered. “I don’t want to do anything at this guy’s expense.”
“This is a beautiful place with so much to do, there’s no reason to let him spoil it for us,” Cindy said to Mattheus, when they’d returned to their room. “It’s part of the payment for our work. We arranged for this in the beginning. He’s not giving us anything extra.”
“But he’s trying to make us feel like he is,” Mattheus muttered.
“Forget about him, he’s a lonely, old guy,” said Cindy. “We could use time together at the beaches, exploring the hot spots, laughing again.”
Mattheus relented a moment. “That’s for sure,” he agreed.
Although the case had only lasted a short while, it had taken a big toll on both of them and definitely created a distance between them that hadn’t been there before.
Cindy wanted to get back on track. She went over to Mattheus and stroked his face slowly. “Why are you so mad at me?” she asked in a playful tone.
Mattheus closed his eyes a moment, “I’m not mad. I’m just upset by your reactions to the case.”
Cindy withdrew her hand quickly. Upset by her reactions? What should she say about his? She and Mattheus had differences before, but they’d never gone as deep. And they’d never taken this kind of toll on them while they were on a case.
Mattheus opened his eyes abruptly as Cindy withdrew. “Okay, let’s go down and have lunch on the beach, then take a walk and talk.”
Cindy felt a pit in her stomach. “Talk about what?” she asked, trying to be casual, “we’re officially off the case.”
“About life, love, secrets, the whole works,” Mattheus answered. “Go change into your bathing suit and a sundress, and I’ll get ready too.”
*
The hotel had a small, beautiful, restaurant right out on the beach with a bamboo roof and vines growing along the walls. Cindy and Mattheus were shown to a table right on the sand and as they sat down could hear the sound of sea birds filtering through. Cindy felt both hungry and queasy at the same time. There was something in Mattheus’s tone that sounded like trouble up ahead.
“It’s been quite a day,” said Cindy, after they’d ordered their food.
“That’s putting it mildly,” said Mattheus, drumming his fingers on the table. The afternoon had grown cooler and the winds from the ocean blew in strongly on them. “This case is far from over, mark my words,” he added.
“Is that what’s bothering you so much?” Cindy asked, picking up a tall glass of iced water with lime and sipped it slowly.
“Partially,” Mattheus took a glass of water for himself as well and drank it all down. “I don’t know if it’s the best idea for us to hang out on the island. No one knows yet what’s happening with the wedding. If it’s called off there’s gonna be all kinds of news and backlash. I don’t want to be in the middle of it all.”
“You’re not and neither am I, we’ve been fired, remember?” Cindy quipped, though she was also concerned about what was going to happen. She liked Tara very much and couldn’t shake the feeling that Tara was terribly alone now. Rationally that was ridiculous. She had her wedding party, family, and all kinds of friends to talk to. There was plenty of support. She’d work it out, no matter what she finally decided.
“I’m worried about Tara, though,” Cindy added, as the waiter brought huge, delicious salads and homemade bread to their table.
Mattheus picked up a chunk of bread and covered it with warm butter. “Once you start on a case you’re never finished, until it’s truly over,” he said. “There are so many loose ends here and Tara is definitely unstable.”
Cindy took exception. “I don’t find anything unstable about her,” she said. “Any woman would feel the way she does.”
Mattheus put his fork down. “Really?” he looked over at Cindy.
“Yes, why is that so confusing?” asked Cindy, “the rug was pulled out from under her at the very last minute.”
Mattheus let out a long sigh. “Let’s eat and walk on the beach and talk,” he said quickly, diving into his salad and finishing it off as fast as he could.
*
The beach was cold and windy by now, with a feeling of rain on the way. Cindy pulled her light lavender cardigan over her shoulders and walked beside Mattheus, who took large steps along the water’s edge and was hard to keep up with.
“Slow down,” Cindy finally said, breathing hard. “What’s the rush, what’s the problem here, Mattheus? What is going on?”
Mattheus stopped, turned to her and looked at her squarely as the wind from the water tossed her hair over her face.
“I also have a child who lives on the islands,” Mattheus said squarely. “She should be about 15 years old by now.”
The roar of the surf pounded in Cindy’s ears and grew deafening as Mattheus spoke. She wasn’t sure that she was hearing correctly and lifted her hand up, as if to hold back the oncoming tide.
“What did you say? I didn’t hear you correctly.” Cindy called out.
“I have a child,” Mattheus called out over the surf. “A daughter, almost fifteen years old.
Cindy was speechless. “It’s not possible,” she called back, as if from another world.
“But it’s the truth and now you know about it,” Mattheus’s body lurched from side to side.
“I don’t believe it” Cindy’s voice echoed round and round.
“So, what are you going to do about it? Throw me into the sea?” Mattheus’s voice grew grainer. “My daughter’s mother and I met when I was just nineteen. It was a night of fun. We didn’t love each other, we didn’t know each other. We never will.”
“My God,” breathed Cindy to herself now.
Mattheus’s voice grew louder and fiercer. “I haven’t seen either of them for years.”
Cindy’s eyes started filling with tears. “Do you ever think of them?” she barely could speak. How was it possible that she was facing the same thing as Tara? What strange circumstance made this happen? Mattheus was not answering. Cindy’s voice grew louder, above the din of the shore. “Do you ever think of them, Mattheus?” she cried out.
“Sure, once in a while,” Mattheus finally said, “the daughter, that is, not her mother.”
“Have you tried to meet your daughter?” Cindy’s legs were shaking.
“I haven’t,” Mattheus said. “It could be too painful, for both of us, not just me.”
His voice, the news and the sea became deaf
ening. Cindy’s heart pounded uncontrollably. This couldn’t be happening, it couldn’t be real.
“Don’t hate me, Cindy,” Mattheus’s voice dropped as he suddenly pleaded for all he was worth. “She’s a shadow in my life I’ve made peace with.”
Cindy was chilled to the bone now and silent.
“Say something,” Mattheus lurched closer to her, “don’t just stand there like that, looking dazed.
But Cindy was speechless. If they hadn’t fallen upon this strange case, would she ever have found out? “Were you ever going to tell me, Mattheus?” she finally spoke.
“No, I wasn’t, to be truthful about it,” Mattheus replied. “There was no reason to tell you. I feel for Lynch, I identify with him, he never thought he was doing something so awful.”
Cindy felt her stomach curl into a knot. “We’ve talked about marriage and building a family for almost two weeks now,” Cindy said. “You weren’t going to let me know you have a daughter?”
“I want a new family, I want a family with you. I still want to marry you, but I have to know you won’t run out on me like Tara.”
Cindy could barely believe the strange parallels in the situations. That’s why Mattheus was so upset about it, right from the start. But he still didn’t see that there was anything wrong with shrouding a whole chunk of your life in darkness. Cindy listened to the surf in the background, growing wilder as they spoke.
“So, are we over again?” Mattheus called out. “Now that you know this, if you have no intention of marrying me, let me know.”
Cindy felt dizzy and ill. “I don’t know, Mattheus,” she breathed. “You have to give me time with this.”
“I’ve given you all kinds of time,” Mattheus grew agitated. “We solve one thing and then there’s something else.”
“This isn’t just something else,” Cindy breathed, growing angry. “This is a whole part of your life.”
“So what? Isn’t there room to have secrets in a person’s life? Do you lose all our privacy when you get married?” he asked.
Cindy stopped and thought about it. “Of course everyone needs privacy,” she replied, “but privacy and huge secrets are different. Secrets like this mean a double life.” Cindy felt deeply chilled. How did Mattheus truly see marriage? She’d been horrified when she found out about Clint’s private life, that eventually killed him. She couldn’t go through something like that one more time.
“When you’re married,” said Cindy, “there’s times alone, even separate friends, not no more private life.” Cindy took a deep breath. “Mattheus I agree with what you said before. We need to leave the island now. We need time, we need space.”
“Just what I was thinking” said Mattheus, “try as we might, we can’t catch a break.”
*
The two of them walked back to their room in silence, saying nothing. Once in the room the heavy silence continued as they started to pack their bags.
“Are we going on the same plane at least? Are we going to the same destination?” Mattheus finally asked.
Cindy said nothing. The news that Mattheus had a daughter kept rolling around in Cindy’s mind. She couldn’t find a place for it though, or what it meant for the two of them.
“I’m asking you something,” Mattheus’s voice grew louder.
“I don’t have any answers, Mattheus,” Cindy said. “Let’s go back to St. Barts for a little while, and give things time to settle.”
“Things will never settle,” Mattheus moaned, “I’m getting sick of trying.”
Suddenly the phone rang sharply. Cindy stopped and picked it up. Tara was on the other end, upset.
“Thank God you’re there Cindy,” she said the moment she heard Cindy’s voice. “I’m messed up, I’m confused, I don’t know what to do. Everyone says I should try and go forward, but first I have to see Lynch’s son again.”
“Why?” Cindy felt uneasy.
“I don’t know. I just can’t stop thinking about him,” Tara went on. “I dream about him, see his face in front of me. I have to see him again.”
“I don’t think it’s a good idea,” said Cindy, frightened.
It didn’t seem as if Tara heard a thing she said, though. “Will you come with me, Cindy?” Tara pleaded.
Cindy’s stomach lurched. “Did you tell Lynch you want to go see his son again?” she asked. “Is he okay with it?”
“Why do I have to tell Lynch?” Tara sounded bitter. “Did he tell me what was going on in his life? I told him I’d try to go forward with the wedding, but that his son would have to be a part of our lives.”
Cindy grew silent, she found it odd. “And how did he take that?” she asked.
“Lynch didn’t say anything, just stared straight ahead of him,” said Tara.
“Lynch should know that you’re going to see his son,” Cindy insisted.
“No, he shouldn’t,” said Tara. “I told him I’d be at the rehearsal dinner, that’s enough. But I have to see Bala and Paulie again before that. I want you to come with me, Cindy,” Tara repeated. “Will you, please?”
Cindy had no idea how to respond. Officially, she was no longer on the case, but Tara’s sounded so strange and desperate, it was impossible to say no.
“When are you going?” asked Cindy, worried about her.
“Right now,” said Tara.
“Okay,” Cindy made a snap decision, “sure, why not? I’ll go.”
“Thank you so much,” said Tara overjoyed. “I’ll pick you up downstairs in a car in fifteen minutes.”
*
“Where are you going?” asked Mattheus the minute Cindy put down the phone.
“Tara sounds confused and disturbed,” said Cindy. “She said she needs to see Bala and the boy again before the rehearsal dinner. She wants me to go with her.”
“Why in hell does she need that?” asked Mattheus, stunned.
“She can’t stop thinking about them,” Cindy replied.
“Sounds like obsession,” said Mattheus. “Nothing good ever comes out of obsession.”
“She’s going to go forward with the marriage if the boy is part of their life,” Cindy added, glad that she and Mattheus were talking again, particularly about a case.
“Does this make sense to you Cindy?” Mattheus zeroed in.
“It isn’t rational,” Cindy replied, “but in a strange way I get where she’s coming from.”
“Oh brother,” Mattheus commented. “I mean, would it make you feel better if you got to meet my old girlfriend and daughter?”
Cindy paused for a moment and considered it. “Not your girlfriend,” she said, “but your daughter, yes. I would feel a lot better for both of us to meet her together, in fact.”
Mattheus looked totally confused. “Why?”
“She’s your daughter, Mattheus, part of your flesh and blood. You don’t just throw a daughter away.”
CHAPTER 8
Despite Mattheus’s concern about Cindy going on the trip, Cindy went into the bathroom and changed quickly into a lovely, paisley linen dress. Then she brushed her hair long and hard, freshened her makeup and got ready to go downstairs.
“We’re not on the case anymore,” Mattheus knocked on the bathroom door as Cindy prepared. “It’s not our business. Your trip with Tara could be tricky. She’s not well.”
“It will be fine,” Cindy called back through the shut door. “Tara needs some support.”
“We all need something,” Mattheus called back. “I need support, too. I need for us to sit down and talk about my daughter.”
“We will,” said Cindy, “later. Right now I want to go with Tara. She’ll be here in a few minutes.”
“I’m going on record right now that this is a bad idea,” “Mattheus barked back.
“Okay, you’re on record,” Cindy opened the door, came out and walked past him.
“You look ravishing,” Mattheus said then, taken by surprise.
Cindy felt her heart clench. She desperately wanted to turn
around, hold him, assuage his fears, tell him how much she loved him. But she held back. It would never work to pretend that he hadn’t kept a huge piece of his life from her. There had to be ripple effects of his having a daughter that neither of them could barely foresee. Cindy had no idea what this news boded for a life together for the two of them.
Cindy took a small summer bag and flung it over her shoulder as she walked to the door.
“So, are you going to try to convince Tara to forget the wedding?” Mattheus followed closely behind her.
“I have no plans to convince her of anything at all,” Cindy turned and met Mattheus’s eyes. “This is her choice. I’ll just be at her side as she makes it.”
“That’s easier said than done,” Mattheus remarked. “She’s pulling you into a crazy world of her own making. Why is she so obsessed with Lynch’s son? Frankly, it’s unnerving.”
Cindy felt on edge. “Listen, Tara’s father hired us to do a job and Tara’s life has been turned upside down because of what we dug up. It doesn’t feel right to wash our hands of it just because Aldon said good bye. If Tara’s called for help, then he needs us.”
“Tara doesn’t need us, she needs you,” Mattheus corrected her.
“Be that as it may,” said Cindy, “when it comes to working together, there’s no me and you. There’s just us.” Then she shook her long hair over her shoulders and walked to the door.
“You look beautiful, Cindy,” Mattheus remarked softly.
Cindy couldn’t help smiling for a second. “Thanks,” she said, “I like that. Flattery will get you everywhere.”
*
As soon as Cindy got down to the front of the hotel, a long, black car pulled up with Tara seated in the back. The minute she saw Cindy she rolled down the window, leaned out and beckoned her in. Cindy quickly slipped in, and the car rolled away.
“I can’t thank you enough for this,” Tara gave Cindy a quick hug. Her eyes looked dazed and her face drawn. Obviously this had taken a terrible toll. “I kept wondering what to do,” Tara rambled, “I couldn’t tell anybody where I was going and I didn’t want to go alone. Then you came to my mind.”