by Ryan Notch
They should at count themselves lucky I don’t smile at them, the way my teeth look now, he thought as he grimaced into the mirror.
* * *
After weeks wandering the rooftops and back alleys of Nowhere Blvd, Spencer was getting as lonely as he was hungry. He’d managed to supplement the candy with bits of food left in the parks and other areas that children had carried with them from Nanny Gurdy’s kitchen (if he could get to the scraps before the Hollow Men cleaned them, for in addition to their true job as enforcers, they really did do all the chores). But watching people through the telescope wasn’t really like having friends, although he liked to pretend otherwise. Most of all he liked to watch Perfect Girl Julie. Even though they hadn’t had the chance to be friends for very long, he would daydream of them escaping together. If she couldn’t find her parents, he was sure he could convince his own parents to let her stay with them.
For awhile he had thought that maybe the Perfects were in league with Jack. But the more he watched, the more it didn’t seem like it. They did what he said, and smiled and played when he came around, but they also avoided him when they could, he’d seen it. They were afraid of him. And besides, he had a sense, as all children did, that all adults were keeping secrets from all children.
Surely Julie doesn’t know what Jack does with the kids that visit Nowhere Blvd, he thought. She must think that they leave the same way they came in. She couldn’t just play with us and not warn us if she knew what Jack did. She’s just a kid. She’s my friend.
So he made up his mind. He was going to sneak into her house during the day. The Perfects all lived alone for reasons Spencer couldn’t guess, so he’d hide and wait till night to let her know he was there. That way if she started screaming, at least he could sneak off in the dark.
The plan was ruined in its first stages, but it didn’t matter. He scouted first, using the telescope to chart the locations of all of Jack’s minions. Nanny Gurdy in her house, Mr. Buttons in the woods, Jack likely still at home and the Hollow Men wandering about predictably in their search of his hiding places. He made his way along his open course to Perfect Girl Julie’s house, hopped the fence into her back yard, opened her bedroom window, and climbed right in.
Her bedroom didn’t look quite like he thought. He expected pink frills and unicorns, in keeping with Jack’s childhood ideals that he seemed to decorate all the other buildings with. Instead it was more muted, more “tasteful” as his mom might have said. There were dollhouses and stuffed ponies, but at the same time there were old Victorian portraits on the wall rather than rainbows or butterflies like he had envisioned it.
He shut the window and was preparing to see what food might be in the kitchen when she walked right into the bedroom. His one forgotten detail was so glaring that he was shocked by the obviousness of it. He had scouted the locations of everyone except her. The emotions danced across her expressive face so fast it made him dizzy. Fear, confusion, recognition, relief, excitement.
You’re not supposed to be here he was getting ready to say, when she interrupted him by running up and hugging him.
“Spence, you’re alive!,” she said. She was taller than him and his mouth was against her shoulder. She smelled so clean. Her skin, her sky blue dress. She smelled like the real world. He put his arms around her. Tentatively at first, then holding on tight. It had been so long since anyone had hugged him.
“How did you escape,” she asked as she pulled away.
“I… I hid in the amusement park,” he said, knowing how lame that sounded but not being able to find the words for all that had happened to him. Spence had figured out a while ago that he was better at doing things than saying things.
“But, look at you! You’re so dirty, and you smell bad,” she said crinkling her nose. “And you’re so thin now, you look sick.”
He felt stupid standing there as she inspected him. Stupid and lonely and little. It was like he was waking up from a nightmare, waking up from having to be brave.
“I’m hungry,” he said. “No one came for me.” His face flushed hot and he felt tears spill from his eyes.
“Oh, poor Spencer,” she said. “I’ll take care of you. You can hide here and live with me and I’ll bring you food. No one will know.”
He nodded, not being able to talk for fear of sobbing. As she took his hand and lead him to the kitchen, he was so relieved. So relieved that he barely noticed one tiny little thing nagging at him. Something about how she had said you’re alive, so surprised. Whatever it was that bothered him, he pushed it away and didn’t think of it again.
* * *
That first day in Perfect Girl Julie’s house was a mix of happiness and nervousness and shy awkwardness. He scarfed down the food she gave him, surprised at how little he enjoyed it compared to his fantasies. He hadn’t known hunger could grow to the point of being unable to be satisfied. He feared at any moment that Smiling Jack might burst in the door, a surprise visit trapping him without room to escape. He asked her again and again if Jack ever came by, and again and again she said never. She showed him around the tiny house and let him take a bath, promising to try and find him some clean boys clothes tomorrow. The bath felt good, though he was nervous about her walking in one him and seeing him naked. He’d never had a sleepover at a girls house and it was a lot more awkward than his male friends houses, in lots of ways. Her house wasn’t really that big. Kitchen, living room, bedroom, bathroom. It had a fireplace for heat, though the temperature in Nowhere Blvd. never seemed to reach extremes in either direction. The backdoor, at least, was real. He tested it. Leading out into a tiny yard with the high wood fence he had hopped. Brilliant green grass that was (he realized much later) entirely plastic.
They talked and played checkers and when night came she announced it was bedtime right away. And no wonder, Spence looked for a light switch but found there was none. No lights either.
Stupid, he thought. If any of these houses had lights, you would have seen them at night from the outside. The only house with light is Jack’s, and even that seems to have only one.
She looked at him as if deciding something, crossing one arm over her chest and putting a finger to her chin in a gesture of thought.
“We should sleep in the same bed, but your clothes are pretty dirty. I guess you could sleep on the couch for tonight.”
He was both surprised and relieved by this statement. Of course he should sleep on the couch, what was she thinking?
That first night he didn’t go to sleep at once. Neither the front nor back door had locks. Finally he settled on booby trapping them, stacking a few loud items in front of each in case someone should come in. He was used to staying up through much of the night, but when he lay down on the couch he was appalled at how luxurious it was, realizing that he was comparing it to the cold hard ground. He slept much more deeply than he intended.
The next day, true to her word, she did find some boy clothes. Sneaking them from the house of Perfect Boy Joe. It was weird, to change clothes after weeks of wearing the same ones. Even though the size was about right, they felt funny and ill fitting somehow.
That second day set the tone for every day after. Spence had in mind, vaguely, a best friends relationship. Or perhaps a big sister litter brother one. But Perfect Girl Julie had in mind very clearly that they would play house. One day she would be the working girl returning home to her househusband, another they would be married captains of a pirate ship. Spencer didn’t exactly like the game, in fact in a lot of ways he got tired of hanging out with just Julie day after day. But when he’d say something about her choice of games she’d argue, and he let her win every argument. She was the one who brought him food, she who could tell Smiling Jack where he was at any time. And though she never threatened him, she never really needed to. Her attitude said enough, she was in charge. They slept in the same bed, which was awkward at first. But he got used to it, even got used to her snuggling up close to him to keep warm.
Somet
imes she seemed much older than him, older than she pretended to be. He could tell by the way she bossed him around. Could tell when she let down her act sometimes, the one she put on to live in Smiling Jack’s world. Over the weeks he was very aware, if a little confused, by how he had gone from lone wolf to house pet. He went from being terrified of being caught inside to being terrified to leave the house. He got used to and took for granted the comforts of a bed and regular meals. Something which, while thinking of the poor kids staying in the cabin, he had sworn never to do again.
She told him things about Smiling Jack, things he hadn’t guessed. Jack wanted Nowhere Blvd to be a magical play land. He’d built it, longer ago than anyone knew. He’d built the Hollow Men and Mr. Buttons too. Even Nanny Gurdy, though she’d also heard some of the other Perfects say Nanny started out as a kid Jack brought here once upon a time. Spencer thought about asking again whether Jack had made the Perfects as well, but Julie didn’t mention it and Spencer was afraid of how she might respond.
Jack wasn’t human, she explained, even though he looked like one with the mask. Maybe he’d never been human. He didn’t think about people things, like warmth and eating and sleeping. She could tell because he always had to be reminded. Nanny Gurdy would have to tell him that kids needed to eat and rest, or else he’d forget. Julie told him in a quiet voice about one time when Nanny was busy taking care of a huge batch of kids from the real world, Jack had kept the Perfects playing for days while he watched. He’d shake them awake with screaming anger if one fell asleep. They played until their feet were bruised and their hands bleeding from tiny cuts. Eventually one of them named Perfect Boy Jim had died. Smiling Jack had set upon the corpse in a rage, as if he were just being rude, throwing it around the room like a rag doll.
Spencer listened to all this with a shudder. Realized that this was probably why Jack had never set up a trap at the candy store for him. The thought just hadn’t occurred to Jack that Spencer would get hungry.
One thing she never brought up was what went on in Smiling Jack’s lab. And neither did he, though he wasn’t sure why. He did finally bring up the other important question though.
“And what about a way out? Do you know how to escape from Nowhere Blvd?”
The look she gave him at that was terrible, more angry than he’d ever seen her.
“You can’t leave me!” she almost screamed. “You can’t leave me alone again, you’re mine!”
He shook his head, afraid. “No, I mean we could go together. You could come live with me, I’m sure my parents…” He trailed off, his dreams burnt to ash within the fire of her gaze.
“There is no way out,” she said, her voice cold with repressed rage. “No one leaves Nowhere Blvd.”
She didn’t talk to him for hours after that, and he never brought it up again. The next day they were as happy as ever, playing dolls and dress up.
* * *
It wasn’t until they had played house for several weeks that she first kissed him. A quick brush upon his cheek that set his skin to tingling. He didn’t mind it so much at first, but then she started doing it a lot. Though he thought he might like it when he was older (he guessed everyone did) right now it just made him uncomfortable. He tried to tell her in as nice a way as he could, but she wasn’t listening. She would work it into their games. Kiss him on the lips, then stare at him as if looking for something, then kiss him again. She acted like she wanted something from him, but he didn’t know what.
Things got awkward after that. He felt like something was wrong. The feeling was, in a distant way, like when he had heard that bell ring sneaking into the candy store that first night. A warning of something he had missed that was catching up with him. Something about her attitude, like she’d made a decision she wasn’t telling him about.
The end came of his claustrophobic paradise came towards dusk one day. Instead of changing for bed alone like she usually did, she took his hand and led him into the bedroom. She took off her dress in front of him, the same sky blue dress she’d been wearing when he first met her. She stood there in her bra and panties, still a few inches taller than him, but not by as much as she had been months ago when he’d first shown up in her bedroom. Her skin looked so soft, so pretty pink. But he couldn’t shake that terrible feeling of the bell ringing, it was so strong he could almost hear it.
“We never did play Doctor, Spence,” she said in a voice not quite like a whisper. “Do you know how to play Doctor? We look at each others bodies and touch each other, just like a Doctor does.”
When he didn’t say anything she stepped closer, putting her hand on his chest and kissing him. For the first time he saw her breasts in the light of day. Not big like a grown up, but not like a little girl either. He felt uncomfortable, like he couldn’t breathe right, but also frozen in place. She looked over his shoulder at the door to the house, then looked back at him. She put her other hand on his cheek.
“When Smiling Jack made us Perfects out of normal kids a long time ago, he took out all the parts of us that made us grow up,” she said conspiratorially. “But some parts of me grew up anyway, inside. I want to show you Spencer. Do you want to stay with me forever so I can show you?”
The sunlight was dimming through the window. In a few minutes it would be dark, the weak moon shimmering in the sky. She looked up again at the door.
“I don’t want to stay here forever,” he said surprising himself as much as her. “I’m going to escape.”
She looked angry and he backed away. Her expression turned to pleading and she took his hand saying, “Smiling Jack can make you a Perfect Boy Spence. You can be the new Perfect Boy Jim and you can play here with me forever.”
RUN. He felt the idea with such force that he almost heard the word shouted in his ear. He didn’t know why but he knew he had to go NOW. He took another step back and she grabbed his arm. He tried to pull away but she still was older than him, stronger.
“No Spence,” she pleaded. “It’ll be ok, it only hurts for a while. Just wait!”
He struggled but couldn’t pull his arm free from her grip. For a moment he almost stopped struggling. Maybe she was right, maybe it would be ok. Then he thought about the twins. He balled his free hand into a fist and swung, a quick cross she didn’t see coming. The blow caught her in the nose. She stumbled in surprise and fell. In the fading light he saw blood begin to pour from her nose. He regretted it instantly and took a step towards her, then he heard it.
Tap tap, tap tap.
At least two of them, coming down the lane.
His senses may have been dulled by his soft living, but day after day he had planned for this. He didn’t need to think, just react. Spencer ran out of the bedroom and around to where Julie couldn’t see. Reaching the backdoor he slammed it open as loudly as he could, then climbed frantically just like he’d prepared. Less then five seconds later the front door burst open.
“He’s escaped,” Jack yelled. “Go after him!”
Tap tap, tap tap. He heard them run out the back door after him. Then waited in his hiding spot, trying to be as still and quiet as he could. Jack hadn’t left, Jack was still close. And someone else, a clicking of claws on the floor. Mr. Buttons.
“Perfect Girl Julie!” Jack positively screeched. “What has he done to you!?”
“Don’t hurt him Jack,” she said, her voice muffled by her bloody nose. He could tell by the sound that she’d left the bedroom, was standing right by his hiding space. “Make him like us, like you promised.”
“But Julie, look at your face,” he said with infinite regret. “It’s ruined. And your body…you’re not a little girl anymore. Oh look what he’s done to you Julie.”
“But I’ll heal right up Jack, you know that,’ said Julie, her voice piteous with fear and pleading. “I’ll be a Perfect Girl again.”
“Oh no Julie. You’re not a Perfect Girl anymore. You’re not perfect at all…”
“No Jack, no! I promise! Pleeeaaasseee!!!”
/> “Mr. Buttons,” Jack said with finality and resignation. “It’s your feeding time.”
Spencer heard the pad of bare feet. Julie was running out the front door. Mr. Buttons was right behind her, and Jack’s black shoed clop clop soon after.
After they were gone, Spencer climbed the rest of the way up the chimney he was hiding in, as he had practiced many times before while Julie was away. Lifting himself onto the roof silently, he found his telescope where he had left it hidden just in case. From behind the chimney he watched them. He got the impression that Jack was intentionally holding back, only jogging after the frantically sprinting Julie. But Mr. Buttons…
Mr. Buttons did something Spencer had never seen before. It fell to all fours and ran as a true bear. Though it didn’t seem that fast, the beast’s sloping gate slowly gained on poor Julie. Spencer wanted to do something to save her, to cry out and distract them, but he was frozen in place. Before he got a chance to even come up with a plan, Mr. Buttons caught up with her and took a swipe at her. It spun her around, and Spencer actually thought he saw the last light of the sun glinting off the drops of blood as they sprayed from her back. She crashed to the ground and Mr. Buttons was upon her. Terrible hidden claws had unfolded from its soft palms, the sewed up mouth tore open revealing rows of jagged fangs that bit into her neck.
It shook her back and forth like a rag doll by the throat. Spencer kept thinking that she had to die soon, that being torn apart like that she couldn’t keep struggling. She didn’t scream once, probably couldn’t. But she was still moving when the sun finally faded to black.
Just before it became too dark to see Spencer thought he saw Smiling Jack turn his gaze from the slaughter and look right at him. He quickly dropped to the ground, twisting his ankle but ignoring the pain. He ran to the next house and opened the front door as a decoy, then ran in the other direction in a zigzag pattern down the street. If Jack followed, he didn’t see him.