“You’re doing a great job.” He tightens his arm around me. “Besides that whole rooting for the other team thing.”
I defend myself. “I apologized, and Ernie promised not to dock my pay after I apologized. I got the colors mixed up.”
He laughs, curling a lock of my hair around his finger. “You’ll get it.”
Beside me, Whitney stands, Stella in her arms. “We’re going to the ladies’ room, if you want to come with us.”
“Sounds good.”
“Maybe she can give you some tips on the game,” Anthony throws out.
“Honey.” Her voice is shot at this point. “There ain’t enough tips in the world to help her, but if you stick around, we’ll get ya fixed up. I’ll have you in Tuscaloosa with me in no time. We gotta go see Caleb next year anyway. Do you realize how excited I am to know somebody on the team?”
I’m almost scared for Caleb, but I don’t say anything. All I do is nod. “I’d appreciate anything you can do to help me.”
As we descend the bleachers and make our way down to the bathrooms, Southern Belle Whitney is back.
“I wish we could go inside and not use these out here. They always stink to high Heaven.”
Looking around, I notice Karina. “Karina!” I wave her over.
“Hey, it’s good to see you.” She gives me a smile. “Surprised to see you at the game though.”
“No one is more surprised than I am, trust me. Is there any way we can go inside to use the bathroom?” I point to Whitney and Stella. “It might be difficult out here with her daughter.”
“Oh yeah.” Karina takes off for the school. “No problem. The alarm isn’t on while the game goes on, but they do keep a close watch on the hallways and stuff. The back bathroom is always open, because it’s handicap accessible.”
“Thanks for the tip.” Whitney puts Stella down on the ground. “Those stalls outside are so small, and while she’s mobile, I can’t always keep her in there with me. Last time, I ended up chasing her with my pants around my ankles. Thank God, the only person who came in there was my brother’s girlfriend.” She shudders. “Talk about embarrassing.”
I laugh, glancing at my friend. “I can’t even imagine you being that undignified.”
“Oh yeah, when you have a baby and your hoo ha is laid out for everyone to see, you kinda just let some things go.” She opens the door and we file in after her and Stella.
“She’s really cute,” Karina comments as she looks at Stella. “How old is she?”
“She’ll be two in December. She’s my little miracle.” Whitney gazes down at the face that looks so much like Ryan it’s scary. “We thought we might try for another, but I’m too old and too damn tired.” She laughs.
“Now you can count on Holden and Leighton for your baby fix.”
“Oh yeah.” She nods. “And someday my brother will make it official with Blaze, then I can be the best aunt ever.”
As she takes her stall, the words she’s spoken roll through my mind. What would it be like to have roots like that? As a warmness penetrates my chest, I realize I’m looking forward to finding out.
Ace
“My wife around here?”
I glance up from my phone, seeing Renegade standing over me. He’s wearing our typical uniform when we’re out in public. Bullet proof vest, shirt, and tactical pants, with military boots. “She and Stella went to the bathroom with Violet. Have a seat and take a load off for a minute.”
“Don’t mind if I do.” He sits down with a sigh, running his hands over his thighs.
“How’s it going?”
“It’s been a shitty night, let me just tell you that. Havoc was here with me for a while, but he had to go. I’m ready to get this night over with and go to bed.”
Renegade isn’t one to complain, not typically, so I know something has happened. “Care to fill me in?”
“Two things. We found some kids with moonshine before the kick-off, and they relayed the same story you got when you questioned the driver of that car. Whoever is dealing, is doing it within the school, and almost with the protection of the school, which is fucked up on all accounts.”
I sigh, he’s right. The question is, how do we figure out who our main source is. “And what is the second thing?”
“You remember finding that shallow grave out in the woods at the barn party last year? You know it got sent off for testing, to see if we could make an identification?”
My memory is a little fuzzy, but it’s coming back, and I have a horrible feeling of dread. “Yeah, I remember.”
“ID came back as Leighton’s mom. Havoc left to go tell her.” His voice is pitched low so no one else can hear the conversation we’re having.
“Fuck,” I breathe. We’d all been worried about that. Havoc had all but bet his career on it being Leighton’s mom, but none of us wanted it to be true.
“He’s requested a couple of days. Leighton didn’t take it well, and with the baby due in about ten weeks, he was worried.”
“No doubt, I would be too. I wish there was something we could do for them.”
Renegade pulls his phone out of his pants pocket. “I already got a text about making them a casserole or some shit. You know how us Southern folk are. Somebody dies, you eat. Somebody is born, you eat. Check your phone; you’re part of the group text.”
Just as he says it, I feel the vibration. “I’ll make sure we take something over.”
“Keep it quiet for now, they don’t want word to get out, in case it wasn’t Jefferson.”
We wrap the conversation up as the girls come back from the bathroom.
“Daddy!” Stella reaches for her dad as the girls make their way to their seats.
He grabs hold of his daughter and gives his wife a kiss on the cheek. “I can’t stay, but I wanted to come and say hi to my girls.”
Violet has a seat next to me, resting her head on my shoulder. “What would it be to have a life like that?” she questions as she watches them.
“If you wanna find out, I’d be game for it.”
Her eyes are wide with surprise as she turns to face me.
“What?” I shrug. “You think I’ve been hanging around you for over a year because I feel sorry for you? Violet, I got it bad for you, you have to know that.”
She reaches over, hooking her hand in my elbow, pulling me close. “I got it bad for you too.”
Turning to face her on the bleachers, I hook my free arm around neck, pulling her in for a kiss.
“Kiss!”
Breaking apart, we laugh as we look down and see Stella clapping for us. As we separate, I reach down to grab her, sitting her on my lap as Whitney and Renegade continue talking for a few more minutes. Sitting with these friends, this woman at my side, in my town, watching our friend play football? I realize it’s everything I’ve ever wanted in my life and I’m extremely grateful I didn’t let that ring on Violet’s finger dissuade me from going after exactly what I wanted.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Violet
“I feel like I’m going to explode,” Leighton complains a week later as we clean up from a crazy breakfast rush at The Café.
“You’re pregnant and due in a few weeks. You’re supposed to feel that way,” I remind her as I pull out a chair for her. “Have a seat, prop those feet up, and let me do the work.”
“Funny, sometimes Holden says the same thing, only not about cleaning up.” She has this naughty look on her face that is one hundred percent my friend.
I’ve been worried about her since they positively identified her mother’s body. Especially with the holidays fast approaching, I’m wondering how she’s going to handle it. Hopefully with a baby to care for, she won’t dwell on it too much. I’ve watched her since she was given the information, and except for the first few days after it happened, she seems to be doing well. Leighton’s a fighter, and I expected nothing less from her.
“Have you thought of a name yet?” I ask as I go around, w
iping off the tables.
“You just want me to tell you if it’s a boy or a girl,” she accuses, a smile in her voice. “I’m not doing that until he or she is born.”
They’re refusing to let people in on the gender, and it’s driving us all crazy. The nursery is in yellow and gray, so it could be either a boy or a girl. I’ve been trying to get it out of her for weeks now, but she’s not slipping up and saying anything she shouldn’t.
“Tell me about you and Ace,” she requests, taking a drink of the water sitting in front of her. “You two still heating up the sheets?”
“Yeah.” I grin back at her. “More than we probably should be.”
“There can never be too much heating of the sheets, Violet. Mark my words.”
Maybe she’s on to something, but I’ll never admit it. Just as I’m about to say something to her, Whitney comes in with her mom, both their faces white. “What’s wrong?”
“There’s been a wreck at the bottoms, and we don’t know who’s involved, but they say a cop was there.”
I wasn’t here when Trevor wrecked, but I’ve heard about it numerous times and just the things I’ve heard make my heart stop.
“We’re just gonna wait here until we hear from people. Is that okay, Ernie?” Whitney asks as she and her mom take a seat at the same table Leighton sits at.
“Yeah, let me get you all some tea.” He hustles out from behind the back and quickly motions for me to sit down.
Once the tea is delivered, we all glance at each other, and we do the only thing we can do. Wait.
Hours go by before we hear that the people who were in the wreck were elderly out-of-towners and some high school kids. The out-of-towners aren’t doing well, and all I want to do is get home so I can see Anthony, so I can make sure he’s okay.
A car pulls up, carrying Ryan. “Hey ladies.” He comes through the threshold, picking Whitney up as she flings herself at him. “I came to make sure you two got home okay. Havoc and Ace were the officers in the car that responded.” He points at me and Leighton. “They’re fine, just dealing with some pretty serious issues at the crash site. Neither one is hurt though, I promise you that.”
It helps me to breathe easier, knowing that Anthony isn’t hurt and knowing that Holden is with him. “You can take her home, but I’m good. Holden drove her to work this morning.” I point at Leighton. “I can make it on my own.”
He looks like he wants to argue, but thinks better of it before herding the girls up and taking them home. As I watch them drive away, I know that I want to rush back to the duplex to be there for Anthony. I have no idea what he’s faced tonight, but I definitely want to be the person who helps him make it better.
“Be careful, Violet,” Ernie yells as I leave. I give him a wave, before I’m on the door.
* * *
Four hours later, I am sitting on the front porch, nursing a beer, and a plate of cookies when Ace comes home. I’ve texted with him a few times, but he seems off, as if he’s more affected than he cares to let on. I won’t let it bother me, won’t let him shut me out the way I know he probably wants to.
When his squad car pulls in the driveway and he gets out, I don’t run to him. I don’t make a big fuss, or a scene. I let him come to me. Getting out of his car, I ache to put my arms around him. His shoulders are down-trodden and his demeanor is that of someone who’s seen the worst in humanity today. The way he was a quiet strength when I needed it in the beginning, I’m that for him right now. As he gets out of the car, he gazes over the top of it, seeming to try and collect himself.
When he finally speaks, it’s not at all what I expect to hear.
“Shit’s not fair.”
“What happened, Anthony?” I ask as I hold my hand out to him, letting him take mine as we enter my side of the duplex.
Grabbing the beer and cookies, I bring them in with us, before shutting the door. Walking over to the breakfast bar, I set them down and then look at him expectantly, waiting for him to let it all out.
Ace
“I act like shit doesn’t bother me.” I turn around so I don’t have to face her, don’t have to see those amazing eyes of hers look at me with sympathy in them. “But it does. It bothers the fuck out of me. Especially when people do stupid shit like this.”
“What do you mean?” she asks, walking to me, reaching over to hold my hand.
There’s dried blood on my uniform pants, and irrationally I don’t want her to touch it. Flinching away from her touch, I put my fingers through my hair. It’s longer than even I like it, but right now I use it as a distraction. “They aren’t sure if the older couple will make it. Those kids that hit them? They were drunk. We found bottles of moonshine in the truck.”
“But I thought…” She shakes her head, letting the words trail off.
“That we got rid of the threat when we arrested Jefferson?” I get up from where I’m sitting, wanting to rip my skin from my bones. This feeling is horrible, takes me back to the helplessness I felt when my unit came under fire, and I had to watch as my best friend died in my arms. “You’d think so right? But nah, sweetness, bad never stays gone forever. There’s always another villain ready to step in.”
The way the silence stretches between us kills me. I’ve never not been able to talk to Violet, but the way this feels is fucking foul. We’re not connecting, and that’s something we’ve never had a problem with. “What are you thinking?” The words are ripped out of my throat.
Lifting my hand up, I almost cup her cheek in my palm, but then I see a dark slash of oil or maybe dirt on my forearm. Hell, based on where they wrecked, it could be cow shit – I’m not sure. I drop my hand, feeling too dirty to touch her, too wrecked emotionally to be this bare in front of her.
“I’m thinking you’re misinterpreting this look in my eyes.” Her voice is strong, yet soft. “If anyone knows there’s always a villain ready to take over, it’s me. And if anyone knows what it’s like to hurt, it’s me. Don’t hide how you’re feeling, Anthony.”
Nobody, except the shrink I got sent to after I started to venture into civilian life, has ever asked me how I’m feeling. “You sure you wanna make that statement, sweetheart? What I do for a living isn’t all about directing traffic, community outreach, and helping damsels in distress change their flat tires. Sometimes what I do is the real fuckin’ deal.”
Violet looks like I slapped her, she literally and physically takes a step back from me. “I think I know better than most your job is the real fuckin’ deal. Did you forget you came to my rescue while I was being beaten? While I was bleeding all over the floor of The Café and being flung around like I had no bones in my body? That you arrested my husband? You see the worst in humanity, nobody knows that better than I do.”
“Ex-goddamn-husband,” I growl because I can’t stand to hear that he once had a claim on her.
“Does the title matter?”
“Yes.” My voice is deadly calm. “He’ll never have a claim on you again.”
She straightens, showing that backbone I love. Standing tall and proud, she faces me, raising her chin. “And neither will you if you don’t learn how to let me in. That’s a hard limit for me, Anthony. We’re in this together or we’re just friends. Trust me and let me help you, the way you’ve helped me. Simple as that.”
“Not so simple at all.” I duck my head, feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders. “There are days I see the absolute worst humanity has to offer. I’ve done shit I can’t ever talk about. Shit I would never want to admit to another human being. How do I deserve your help?”
“How about you let me decide what you deserve from me? What’s got you so spooked?”
I don’t want to tell her. Make myself that vulnerable? I swore to myself I’d never do it again, but she’s right. I can’t be strong all the time and expect her to lay it all out for me. If I want her trust, then I have to trust her with all the parts of me. Including the parts that I’ve never shared with anyone. The ugly, the
sad, and the ones I’m not so proud of.
For the first time since I came home, I think maybe I do want to open myself up. And maybe this is the woman I want to open myself up to.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Ace
I grab hold of her shoulders, pushing her back into the hallway, leading to her bedroom. There’s one thing I need right now, and that’s to know she’s mine. I need to bury all these feelings in her and let them come out as something better, something not tainted by the ugliness I see every night.
“What do you need from me?” she asks as we enter the bedroom, and I’m reaching down to undo the belt at my waist.
“You,” I groan when her fingers push mine away. “I need to know this ugliness I see and experience is for something good. I need to know this won’t beat or break me.”
“It won’t, because I won’t let it.” Violet drops to her knees before me, shoving my pants and underwear down around my ankles. Before I know what’s happening, her warm heat has circled my dick, taking it down her throat.
I had been hard before, but now I’m granite as she slides her tongue up and down my length. There’s no finesse tonight, nothing that remotely reminds me of the loving and caring guy I’ve been with her. She grabs hold of my ass cheeks holding me tightly as she works my length.
“Goddamn.” I fist my fingers in her hair, holding onto her tight. Looking down at her, she looks up and our eyes meet. In that moment, I know I can’t do this. While it feels good in the moment, I’ll never take my anger out on her this way. Pushing her away from me, I lift her to her feet, cupping her jaw with my hand. “While I appreciate what you were doing, Vi, I can’t ever use you like that.”
“I want you to,” she pants, putting her arms around my waist. “I want to be that for you.”
“You are,” I whisper, leaning in to kiss her, coaxing her mouth open with my tongue. I taste myself on her tongue, and the feeling is heady, makes me want to roar with approval that this woman is mine. “You are everything to me.”
I don’t know how we get our clothes off, but we do, and as she falls down onto the bed, I follow her, lying over top of her, covering her with my body. Using my hands, I push her wrists up over her head, pressing her down.
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