by M. L. Rice
*
Riley had never watched the sun rise. Not really. She had seen the light change from the window in the Home, she had gone to early morning orchestra rehearsals as the sun lit up the sky on dark winter mornings, but she had never really sat and watched the sun as it gradually painted its dark canvas with muted reds and pinks, then transformed to deep oranges, and then finally settled on a brilliant Texas blue.
This is what she saw for the first time as she sat on a lookout called Mount Bonnell, and she was awed by it.
“Nice, huh?” Tori asked, her head leaning sleepily on Riley’s shoulder.
“Beautiful,” Riley responded, unable to take her eyes off the sky, the vista of low hills, expensive homes, and the sparkling lake below her.
Tori sat up and turned Riley’s face toward her own with the calloused, yet smooth fingers of a string player. She placed a soft, yet lingering kiss on her lips and then reclined to rest on her elbows, legs stretched out and eyes shut to enjoy the growing sunlight on her beautiful face.
Riley sat stunned. She couldn’t move. Had that just happened? Her face was still turned, now staring at the empty space where Tori had been. It wasn’t until she remembered the other four people with them that she stiffly turned to look back at the view. She didn’t really see it this time, though. Every nerve in her body seemed to be routed through her lips. She could still feel Tori on them and she could think about nothing else.
“All right,” Alan said loudly, thoroughly breaking the spell. “Who’s up for pancakes at Kerbey Lane?”
There were murmurs of general approval, and their small group stood up slowly, the effects of an entire night and morning’s worth of drinking starting to take their toll.
Riley stood and joined them, and when she looked at Tori she saw nothing different in her eyes. Had she imagined it? Did Tori not realize how much that kiss had meant to her?
Their eyes met, and Tori smiled, but looked apologetic. “Don’t worry. The hangover will wear off. Nothing a little hair of the dog and buttermilk pancakes can’t cure.”
Hangover? Hair of the…What about the kiss? What did it mean?
“Okay,” was all she could say. What she meant was, Please kiss me again. Kiss me and don’t ever stop.
*
Aidan,
Sorry I’m just now getting around to emailing you back. School has been crazy. I’m loving it, so don’t even start your worrying again, but it is a lot of work. I don’t think I sleep enough. Or at all. Is it normal to see unicorns riding unicycles on the West Mall? Nah, didn’t think so either.
Have you settled in to your new unit? Do you mind still being in California? I hope they give you time off to go to the beach and stuff. I know you must be enjoying the “scenery.” Yes, I’m talking about all the hot California girls with big fake boobs and nonexistent bikinis. Those exist in real life and not just on reality TV, right?
I do need your help, though. Aidan…I was kissed this morning. Like, a for reals kiss from that senior student you thought was hot at my audition. Her name is Tori and she’s…I dunno. I don’t know if we’re friends or if she actually likes me or what. I have no experience with this stuff. All I know is that I think she’s just about the hottest, coolest person I’ve ever met. And those people don’t usually like me. What do you think? God, I hope she likes me. Why would she kiss me if she didn’t? Did she feel sorry for me? Was it because she was still drunk? Do you think someone dared her to do it? She didn’t say anything about it afterward; just went on as usual and made it seem like it never happened. I just don’t know. Maybe I should forget about it. Should I? What if I pretend that it didn’t mean anything and she’s just waiting for me to tell her I like her? What if I tell her I like her and it’s all been a joke or a big mistake? Help! I’m so not good at this!
Anyway, sorry to bother you. I know you’re probably busy doing…whatever you do out there…blowing shit up or something. Thanks for the pics. You guys look great, and it’s nice to be able to match names with faces. Keep ’em coming!
Love you!
Riley
*
Sis,
Okay, first of all, our base in Twentynine Palms is in the frickin’ desert. The ocean is like, four hours from here or something, so no, I haven’t been living it up surfer-style. There’s not much “scenery,” as you put it, either. We head down into Palm Springs on our leave sometimes, but that mainly makes Craig happy because it’s such a gay Mecca. Growing up in Whitehill, I never thought I’d ever go to so many gay bars. But just so you know, even though I don’t swing that way, I’m still a hit with the dudes. It’s good for my ego. Or would you say it’s bad since my ego is so huge to begin with? We have fun, though, and I will say that gay guys often bring their straight girl friends to the bars so I guarantee you I haven’t been lonely! Ha! I can see your “ew” face from here.
But seriously, I’m really glad that we beat the odds and Craig, Rafael, and I got stationed in the same platoon. It’s kind of rare to stick with the same guys from boot camp. Now that we’re together we’ll all be deployed together too. That will make it a hell of a lot easier to go overseas. And no, we don’t know where we’re going yet. We’ll be here until after Christmas for sure. There are a lot of us new guys in the unit so they have to make sure we know what we’re doing.
The LAV training really is great. Of course, we still spend a lot of time working on the vehicles, cleaning and replacing parts, repairing stuff, etc., but when we get to work on maneuvers, tactics, and yes, blowing shit up, it’s all worth it. I kind of wish you could come out and see everything, but you’d probably hate it. I’ll send some more pics of us in the LAVs in my next email.
Okay. Now to the fun stuff. THAT HOT PUNK CHICK KISSED YOU?! God DAMN I’m jealous. But on the other hand…nice goin’! You know? I think it must run in the family. You’re just a late bloomer.
I know, I know. Stop f-in’ around. Listen, I think you’re majorly overthinking this. Maybe she likes you (as if she couldn’t). Maybe she was just lost in the moment. I know it was huge for you because it was your first kiss (as far as I know), but for most people it’s not that big a deal. I kiss plenty of girls, and I guaran-damn-tee you that I’m not out to marry a one of them. You’re just a different kind of girl. Old-fashioned. Maybe she doesn’t know that. I don’t know. I can’t really help other than to tell you that if you feel like she’s interested, go for it. It’d be good for you to come out of that thick shell for once. Of course, if she hurts you I’ll be down there in a second to show her how protective big brothers can be.
Anyway, try not to do that thing you do, where you overanalyze everything until there’s no meaning left, and just take things as they come. If she wants to hook up, enjoy it. If you’re not into that—like I am—and you want something with more meaning, then let her know. Never ever do anything that makes you uncomfortable, always be true to your own feelings, and if you need anything at all you know that I’m here.
Be safe, have fun, enjoy yourself, and keep working hard like I know you do.
Proud of you, Nugget.
Aidan
Chapter Nine
Over the next month, Riley started hanging out with Tori more often, practicing their symphony music together, listening to old recordings of famous conductors and orchestras, or simply finding nap space on one of the music building’s many couches, but the subject of the kiss hadn’t come up even in awkward glances or subtle innuendos. It was like Riley had dreamt it. She enjoyed her new friend, but every time she looked at her she thought about the way her lips had felt, and she wanted more than anything to slam her against the wall of an empty practice room to see what real kissing could feel like. It made being around her difficult. Tori never seemed to notice, though, and if she did, she never let on. She was always her cool, chill self, and that, in itself, was refreshing.
Riley needed a calming influence in her life. She felt overwhelmed so often with her workload she thought she might fail, and th
at, in turn, made her angry with herself a good portion of the time. She wouldn’t fail. She couldn’t. She had a goal set for herself and, by God, she would succeed.
Lost in her thoughts, she opened the door to her dorm room to find the usually pristine side that belonged to Brooke in shambles. She saw a bra and a notebook fly past the wall and walked in to see Brooke, completely in tears, tearing through all the belongings in her drawers.
“What’s going on? What’s wrong?” Riley asked worriedly.
Brooke turned her head, and black streams of mascara lined her usually flawless face. “My necklace!” She choked back a sob. “The diamond pendant from my necklace is missing!” She held up a broken gold chain.
Riley had never seen her like this and didn’t quite know what to do. “How big is it? I can help you look.”
Brooke turned back to the destruction of her well-organized underwear drawer. “It was my grandmother’s! She gave it to me when I came to college. It’s been in the family for ages!”
Riley put her backpack on the bed, got on her hands and knees, and started looking on the floor. Brooke continued to cry and slammed the drawer shut.
“They’re gonna kill me.”
“When was the last time you saw it?”
Brooke grabbed a tissue and blew her nose before hiccupping, “Two nights ago. I wore it on a date with Chad.”
Ah. Chad. Riley knew way too much about him from his few nighttime visits to their room.
“Did you…take it off…I mean…maybe it broke when you guys…” Riley didn’t want to say it.
Brooke sat on her bed in a slump. “I don’t know. I mean, it has to be here. I found the chain on the floor next to the bed.” She pointed at her feet.
Riley got up from her knees and patted Brooke’s shoulder awkwardly. “I’m sure it’s here somewhere. Don’t worry about it now. Things usually turn up when we’re not looking for them anyway.”
Brooke nodded and lay down onto her purple pillow. She sniffed pathetically. “Will you get me a chocolate milk from downstairs? It makes me feel better when I’m upset.”
Riley paused. “Yeah. Sure.”
She waited for an offer of money to pay for it, but it never came so she turned to leave.
“And popcorn.” Brooke called after her.
Riley’s brow creased. Popcorn, please.
“And some M&Ms! No peanuts!”
Riley heard this just as the door shut. She pulled out her wallet and found the last ten-dollar bill from her recent paycheck. She had just spent the rest of her money on a new box of rosin for her bow and a few new strings. She wouldn’t get paid again for another two weeks.
She shook her head. She was sorry that Brooke had lost something that meant so much to her, but it was getting harder and harder to handle her constant lack of consideration. She couldn’t get a full night’s sleep when she needed it the most because of Brooke’s late-night arrivals and rendezvous, she was rarely paid back for shared necessities, and Brooke had yet to say please or thank you for anything. Riley didn’t know how much more she could take. She knew she should say something, but her temper always made her terrible at confrontation. She could never discuss things that bothered her calmly and rationally. Her anger always won out, and she usually just spluttered and ended up saying something stupid or contrary like, “Nuh-uh! You suck.”
Riley sighed as the elevator descended to the ground floor where the dorm’s café / convenience store was located. She hated this kind of stuff. Why couldn’t people just treat each other nicely? Still, something had to be done. Not right now, of course. She didn’t want to kick Brooke while she was down. But soon.
*
That night, she expressed her frustrations to Koji.
“Girl, your roommate sucks. You need to put the kibosh on that shit before it gets any worse. She takes advantage of you and you’re being way too doormat-y about it. Doesn’t it piss you off?”
“Yes!” Riley slammed the coffee cup she had been cleaning on the counter by the sink. “I just…I dunno. I hate confrontation. I’m not good at it.”
Koji jauntily put his hands on his hips. “You need to promise me you’re going to tell that rude bitch where to stick it.”
Riley looked at him with a stony expression and said, “Stick it, Koji?
“Yes. Stick. It. As in, ‘Hey, rude bitch who treats me like shit, you may go and stick any appendage of your choosing into an orifice conveniently also of your choosing so long as it is dark, musty, and putrid.’”
“You’re disgusting, Koji.”
He winked at her and said, “Proudly so. But I have something that will make you feel better.”
“What?”
He motioned behind her and said, “Customer for you at the register.”
He then spun her around by the shoulders and gave her a little shove straight at the girl standing there waiting to place an order.
It was the cute geeky girl with glasses who usually sat in the corner. Riley immediately flushed. Koji hadn’t been at all subtle and Riley tried to gain her balance with some semblance of grace.
The girl smiled shyly and fidgeted.
“H-Hi. What can I get ya?” Riley asked, trying to be cool.
“Café mocha, please.”
“Sure. Just a sec.”
Riley turned to make the drink, and Koji followed her while whispering in her ear, “Come on. She obviously wants to talk to you. Say something to her!”
“Shut up, Koji!” she said in a hiss. She knew that the girl must be watching their overt whispering. “She just asked for a drink! What am I supposed to say?”
“I don’t know! Be sociable or something.” He glanced behind him, caught the girl looking, and wiggled his fingers at her in a wave. “She has history books with her. Say something about that. You like history. She likes history…unless she’s just taking the regular prerequisite history classes, but I don’t think so. I’m getting a total history buff vibe.”
“How do you know I like history?”
“I can tell. You’re a nerd like her. Nerds like history. Just say something to her!”
The hisses of their whispering sounded as loud as shouts to Riley’s ears. “For the love of all that is holy, just gimme a minute!” She shoved him to the side as she mixed the coffee into the chocolate syrup she had poured. She then heard something that made her stop mid-stir.
“Hey! What’s your name again? We see you in here all the time so it seems like we should know it by now. I’m Koji, by the way.” He was putting on his friendliest flirt voice that he usually used with the cute frat boys.
“Beth,” she said quietly.
“Hey, Riley!” Koji called out much louder than was necessary considering their distance. “This is Beth. Your customer. Just so you know.” He then turned back to the girl. “Beth, this is Riley, your barista.”
She was glad her back was turned because her face was so hot she knew that it must be beet red. “Got it. Thank you,” she said through gritted teeth.
She heard him say, “She’ll be right over with your coffee.”
Clenching her jaw, she finished the drink and made a mental note to murder Koji as soon as she got off her shift. Still, she was curious about the girl who always sat in the corner. She saw her at least once a week, after all. Maybe it was time to talk to her. At least as a friendly customer service thing, she rationalized.
She turned and placed the mocha in front of the young woman. “Beth?”
Beth smiled, and Riley noticed, for the first time, her brilliant green eyes. The glasses she wore didn’t take away from their sparkle at all. Riley was caught off guard for a moment.
“Yes, thank you.” She lifted the cup to her lips and sipped the steaming liquid.
Riley continued to stare at those amazing eyes. She couldn’t help it. When Beth put the cup down, Riley noticed that a thin line of whipped cream traced her top lip.
Beth smiled and said, “This is really good.”
Riley grinned. “Thanks.”
Beth didn’t seem to notice the whipped cream so Riley made a small movement, pointing at her own lip. “You have a bit of…yeah.”
Beth’s eyes widened and she grabbed a napkin to wipe her mouth. She lowered her eyes with obvious chagrin as her cheeks flushed pink. “Thanks,” she said quietly.
Great. Now Riley had embarrassed her. Say something, idiot, Riley admonished herself.
“So. You study history? I like…history stuff.”
Lame lame lame.
Beth looked up gratefully. “Yeah. History major.”
“What’s your favorite…time period…to study?”
Beth brightened considerably. Riley knew she had hit on the right subject. How did Koji know these things? “It’s not my favorite time to study. It’s my favorite place.”
“Place? Like, French history or something?”
She shook her head. “No. Ocean.”
“The history of the ocean?” Riley was confused.
“Maritime archaeology. Sunken ships. Lost civilizations.”
“Oh! Like Titanic and Atlantis.”
Beth nodded enthusiastically. “Exactly! Except there’s so much more to it, and honestly, most of it isn’t big and exciting. The smallest fragment of pottery or the rustiest nail can tell us so much about the civilization that created it. And the fact that these things have been hidden from us for centuries and that we’re only now technologically advanced enough to discover them is just so exciting.”