by M. L. Rice
Beth nodded in reply. “My parents live in Galveston. I could…I dunno…if you’re ever interested in going down there…for a trip…or something. I mean, if you need someone to show you around I go back at least once a month…” She trailed off at the end of the sentence and stuffed a much-too-large piece of fritter into her mouth in an apparent attempt to keep herself from rambling.
Riley grinned. Beth had gotten nervous again, and it was the cutest thing Riley had ever seen. Also, the thought of taking a real road trip—something she had never done before—to see the waters of the Gulf of Mexico was intriguing. She couldn’t deny that she found the idea of spending more time with Beth even more so.
“That sounds like fun. I might take you up on that sometime.”
Beth tried to act like it was no big deal, but she smiled, and Riley thought she could see a slight tremor in her hand the next time she took a sip from her cup.
*
Riley and Beth talked for the rest of her shift, and when they both had to leave to do homework, it seemed like neither of them wanted to say good-bye. Riley felt an actual pang of loss when her new friend walked out of the front door.
“Well, this is unexpected,” she muttered to herself as she slung her backpack over her shoulder and started her walk to the library for the evening.
She didn’t know when she’d see Beth again and they hadn’t even exchanged numbers or anything yet. She consoled herself with the knowledge that she would get to see Tori at rehearsal the next day and at the Candide performance on Tuesday night. She had been more than excited about the prospect of spending another evening with Tori, but somehow her enthusiasm was now a bit muted.
The image of Beth struggling to make a good impression popped into her head again. The butterflies returned to her stomach, and she didn’t care that she was grinning stupidly to herself as she walked.
This was unexpected indeed.
*
The next week Riley devoured the book Beth had given her, much to the detriment of her regular homework, and Riley found herself obsessing over it. She researched instruments, downloaded MP3s, and even learned to play a few easy tunes by ear on her cello. Every night at work, she waited for Beth to come into the shop so she could impress her with all that she had learned, but she never showed. Had Riley done something wrong? Had she offended her the last time they had spoken? She replayed their conversation over and over again in her head, but she couldn’t find anything that could possibly have run her off.
She even considered going to the mall to see her at Banana Republic, but she didn’t want to give off a stalker vibe.
“It’s just a trip to the mall. Don’t be stupid.” Koji tried to reassure her after she hadn’t seen Beth for seven days.
“Koji, I’ve spoken with her what…three times? Ever? What’s wrong with me? I want her to like me so badly.”
“She does like you so badly.”
“She doesn’t know me yet.”
“She wants to. Don’t freak out about it. Anyway, what about that other girl you’re into?”
Riley shook her head and kept scrubbing at the already pristine counter. “I feel like I’m going crazy. I’ve never had one crush in my life. Not one. And now I can’t think about anything else. I so don’t need this right now.”
Koji clapped his hands to his face in mock elation. “My baby’s all grown up and has entered the mysterious and delightful realm of womanhood!”
“Don’t be an asshole. I’m really worried about this.”
He deflated. “Why in the world are you worried? It’s so normal for you to be interested in people.”
“But what about my schoolwork? I just can’t concentrate on anything. Koji, I have to do well. I’m on scholarship, I have financial aid, and I have nowhere else to go. If I can’t do what I need to do I’ll…” She swallowed hard. “I’ll be lost.”
Koji took the soaked rag from her, threw it in the linen bin, and turned her to face him. When he spoke he said every sentence as if he were reading bullet points. “Welcome to college. These are going to be the best years of your life. Everything is new. Everything is exciting. Some of these new, exciting things will hurt a little. And that’s okay. It’s just part of the experience. You work harder than anyone I know. Relax a little. Enjoy what you’re feeling. You’ll remember it the rest of your life.”
Riley had never seen Koji so straightforward and serious. It was disconcerting.
“O…Okay.”
“Good!” Koji clapped her shoulders and then did an overly dramatic pirouette. “Your fairy godmother is now going home. I have a date with one of the bartenders from Oilcan Harry’s!” He flitted into the back room and was gone.
*
Aidan,
I swear I don’t mean for this to be a regular thing, but I’m having girl issues. Three to be precise. If you’re getting tired of my whining, just let me know. Otherwise, HELP!
Girl issue #1: My roommate is a selfish bitch. She never pays me back for stuff, she brings her nasty boyfriend to our dorm room late at night and has sex with him with me RIGHT THERE pretending to be asleep. Frickin’ disgusting. She makes snide comments about me all the time unless she needs me to do something for her, and she’s just inconsiderate about everything. I’ve already asked about getting transferred to another room, but nothing is available. I have to wait until the whole year is over. It’s only November. How am I going to survive that? I’ve started sleeping on the couches in the music building whenever I have a sliver of free time because I just don’t want to go back. I mean, I’ve lived with other girls my whole life, and most weren’t the nicest, but either my tolerance has been slowly eroded or this girl just has the talent of getting on my last nerve. Maybe a little of both. I want to talk to her about it, but my biggest fear is that it will make our situation even worse. We do have several months to go. So what should I do? Put my foot down, ask nicely, and expect nothing, or just ignore it and get through it?
Girl issue #2: Tori (the hot girl) and I are friends now and we get to hang out sometimes, but most of the time we only talk in the music building or we hang out with a group. She’s never mentioned what happened that morning she kissed me and, although I’ll admit I’m not good at seeing it, I really don’t think she has more interest in me. Kinda bums me out. I get butterflies every time she gets close to me, but I just don’t think she’s into me. That brings me to:
Girl issue #3: Beth. Yep. There’s another one now. I know what you’re thinking, but no, I’m not like you. I’m not used to having a string (if two can be considered a string) of girls that I’m interested in. And I’m ESPECIALLY not used to one of them liking me back. And yes, I’m pretty sure that Beth is interested. You’ve seen her actually. Adorable nerdy girl with glasses at the coffee shop. You and Koji were being dicks about it if you’ll remember. Well, as much as I hate to admit it, I think Koji was right. She finally came up to talk to me a few weeks ago, and…well, she’s really, really nice. Super smart too, and you know how hot I think that is. She’s into studying sunken ships or the history of fish or something. I’ll admit I was a little nervous and didn’t quite pay the best attention to our conversation. I was too busy trying not to look dumb. Anyway, we haven’t talked all that much, but I just feel like I want to see her again. Every day. I dunno. It’s getting pretty tiring actually. When I’m with Tori, I’m all jittery and can’t stop thinking about how damn hot she is, and when I’m at the coffee shop, I find myself looking at every customer who comes in, hoping it’s Beth. Koji did give me some good advice about not letting it get to me, that it’s normal, etc. etc., but I still want to know what you think.
Also, I know it’s only two weeks away, but I don’t suppose they have any last-minute options for you to take leave at Thanksgiving, do they? I really miss you. I keep the heirloom box under my bed, and I’ve been taking it out a lot lately. Nothing’s changed, of course, but seeing your dog tags and the stuff that belonged to Mom and Dad…I dunno. It helps me k
eep you all close, you know? I think Brooke thinks I’m crazy, looking at the same old things over and over again. I don’t care. I’d tell her how special the stuff is if I thought she’d give a rat’s ass. Anyway, don’t worry about me too much. It’s not like I have any real fondness for the holiday. You can only see the Home’s pageant so many times, you know? But still, if they’ll let you have leave, it’d be nice to see you. We have a week off of classes. I have plenty of catching up to do, of course, and I’ve kind of been doing a lot of for fun reading and studying about the ocean stuff so that Beth knows I’m interested in what she likes. But anyway, yeah. I hope you’re well.
Love you!
Riley
*
Riley,
Everything’s great here. Same ol’ same ol’ really. We pretty much train nonstop. Well, that and work on the LAVs. I swear, I don’t know how they can break down so often. I’ve gotten really good at the mechanic stuff now. I mean, way better than I was when I worked at the garage.
No, I don’t get any leave for Thanksgiving. I’m sorry :( A couple of the older guys do, but us noobs are stuck here. Don’t even ask about Christmas. I have no idea. I’ve talked to some of the guys who have deployed before, though, and it’s looking pretty likely that we’ll get our orders in the next two or three months. I’ll finally get to go overseas!
Don’t panic…I know how you are. The good part about that is I’ll get a full week’s leave off before we go. So maybe I’ll get to see you in March or so?
Now, on to the fun stuff.
Girl issue #1: Your roommate sounds like she needs a good slap across the face, but since neither one of us would do that, your option is to let her know how you feel. You don’t have to put your foot down…at first. If she has any decency, she’ll realize how she’s made you feel and apologize for it. If not, well, that’s when you get serious. I know you can’t switch rooms this year and it might be difficult, but you’re both adults and I’m sure you can work something out.
Girl issue #2: Mmmm. The hot chick. Honestly, Riles, I think you need to let this one go. It seems like you’re banging your head against a wall trying to figure her out. It’s taking up too much of your energy and sanity. It’s okay to still find her insanely attractive. It’s okay to want to ravish her in the music building every chance you get. Hell, I would want to do the same thing. But don’t look for anything more. She’s eye candy. She’s a buddy. If something is meant to happen, it will. If not, well, just enjoy the way she makes you feel and appreciate her friendship. Putting that into practice may not be so easy. I get that, but try anyway.
Girl issue #3: Now HERE’s the interesting one. I do remember that girl, as a matter of fact. And yes, Koji was right, you guys would totally make precious lesbian nerd babies together. (I just dodged the shoe you mentally threw at me so HA). But really, I could tell she was interested in you just from that night. Now it looks like she’s ready to act on it and I say go for it! If she’s this cute, smart, and nice, why in the world are you wasting time pining over someone else? She sounds perfect. You need someone like that in your life. It sounds like you’re really interested in her too, and even if nothing romantic comes of it, she could be that friend you really need. If she turns out to be more than that I’ll be the proud big brother of the cutest couple at UT.
You go get to know Beth and keep me updated! I’ve been without a woman for weeks now, and I need to know that at least ONE Gordon is happy with someone.
Love ya, Sis,
Aidan
Chapter Eleven
“I’m going after work, Koji.” Riley’s hands were planted decidedly on her hips as she stood with her back to the Metro Haus cash register.
“Excellent!” He paused. “Where are you going?”
Riley’s arms fell in exasperation to her sides. “To the mall! I talked to my brother, and I’ve decided that it’s time to stop being a wuss about Beth. She likes me…I think…and yes. I think I might like her too. I want to get to know her better.”
“Congratulations, here’s a cookie. But what does that have to with going to the mall?” he asked.
“Haven’t you noticed that Beth hasn’t been in to the coffee shop for a week?”
He shrugged. “I’ve been off most of the week.”
“Well, I…I need some…socks, and I thought that since I was going there anyway I could maybe, you know, swing by Banana Republic to see if she’s there or something.”
Koji looked at her with unimpressed eyes. “You need socks,” he said plainly.
Riley nodded.
He stared at her for a few seconds before asking, “You don’t need socks, do you?”
She paused and then said sheepishly, “No, I do not.”
Koji shook his head.
“I knew it! If she’s there I’m going to look like a creeper, aren’t I?”
This made him laugh. “After her stalking you every night in here for months? Unlikely. I think you’ll make her day if you just show up randomly. Although the likelihood of her being at work is pretty slim.”
“Well, I’m going to take that chance. I…I dunno. I just want to see her again.”
Koji grinned and clasped his hands under his chin. “OMG you are just too adorbz.”
Riley swiftly kicked him in the shin and flipped him off as she left the coffee shop to the sound of his pained giggling.
*
Okay. No stalker vibes. Just looking for socks. What am I doing? I don’t know what I’m looking for in the first place. What do I expect to happen? A friendship? A relationship? I could do with the first, but I’m sure in no place to be able to handle the second. Why am I even thinking these things? Why would she be interested in me anyway? Am I actually interested in her? There’s no way she can see something in me, and even if she does she’s bound to pull into disappointment station as soon as I open my damn mouth and she sees the mess that is my life. Shut up, stupid brain. Why do you always over-complicate things? Why can’t you be normal? What’s wrong with you? No wonder you’ve never had any good friends.
Riley pounded her fist onto the steering wheel. “Shut up!” she yelled to the emptiness of her parked car. She took a deep, long breath and then sighed. “And now I’m talking to myself. Neurosis 1, Riley 0.”
Instead of continuing her internal diatribe, Riley exited the car, not stopping until she was only a few stores away from Beth’s Banana Republic. Here she stopped short, almost getting run into by the elderly woman walking behind her.
Just stopping by to shop. I was in the area. Socks. Haven’t seen you at the coffee shop. How are things? Do you want to maybe hang out sometime?
She rehearsed the conversation in her head one last time and walked into the store.
When she didn’t see Beth in any of the sections, she was almost relieved. She tried to pretend that the relief outweighed the disappointment. Letting out a wavering breath, she turned to leave. She walked out of the store with her head down and slowly started the journey back to her car.
“Hey!” a familiar voice shouted from behind her.
It was Beth. She was standing outside the store with her backpack slung over her shoulder. Riley couldn’t hide the relieved and nervous grin that formed on her face.
“Hey,” she said as she waved.
“What are you doing here? Need more suit stuff or were you just dying to come and see me?” Beth laughed as if that was absurd, but there was a hint of earnest hope in her tone.
Riley paused. “Socks.”
“Oh.” Beth frowned and looked at Riley’s empty hands. “Didn’t find any you liked?”
Riley’s cheeks flushed. This wasn’t going the way she had wanted. She shook her head.
“Okay. Well, I’m off work now, but if you want any suggestions on other stores…I mean, there’s a Dillard’s over there,” she said, pointing to the other end of the mall, “or the Gap back that way.” She thumbed over her shoulder.
“Thanks.” Riley was completely unable to s
peak. What had come over her? Beth waited for her to say something else, but then gave up.
“Well, I’m on my way back to campus, so…see ya later.” Beth hurried away as if flustered.
Shit.
“Wait!” Riley jogged after her. Beth turned, a hopeful expression on her face. “Since I’m in the area,” she tried to remember her speech, “you wanna have dinner or something?”
The heat in her ears was insane. Why did this scare her so much? She wasn’t asking Beth on a date or anything. She just wanted to get to know her better. Right?
To Riley’s immense relief, Beth’s face broke into a wide and immensely attractive smile. “I’d love that.”
*
Beth took them to a Tex-Mex chain restaurant outside the mall where they settled into a booth and started crunching on the obligatory chips and salsa.
“I haven’t seen you at the coffee shop in a few days,” Riley ventured.
Beth nodded. “I was actually on a short research trip with one of my professors and his TA. They’re working on a project together about the effects of the Loop Current on deeper manmade reefs in the Gulf of Mexico. They needed a lackey, so I volunteered for extra credit. Gave me a chance to visit home too since we were based in Galveston.”
“That sounds cool.” It really did too. “Was it fun?”
“It was, actually. My dad offered them the use of his boat as a dive platform so that they could go check things out. It was nice to spend a couple of days out on the water again. But anyway”—she leaned back—“I’m back now until Thanksgiving and can freely partake in any coffee-based beverages you’re nice enough to make for me.”
Riley smiled. “You must really like our coffee.”
Beth paused, pensive. “There is something about your shop that I do like very much, yes.” For a moment, she stared straight into Riley’s eyes, but then shied and looked down at the empty basket of chips.