The Melody of Light

by M. L. Rice

  Why couldn’t she enjoy her life?

  “What’s wrong?”

  Riley realized that she had been brooding in silence as they drove from the beach to Beth’s family home. Some road trip companion she was turning out to be.

  “Oh. Nothing. Just thinking,” she replied.

  Beth didn’t press the matter, but continued to drive, occasionally pointing out historic buildings and her previous schools.

  Riley knew that Beth deserved someone better than her, someone not quite so temperamental. But still, every time she looked at her or heard her voice, she felt…trapped. Beth’s personality, her geeky, but captivating looks, the adorable way her eyes lit up when she got excited about something…Riley was hooked. Her head was continually trying to tear her away, but something, some kind of gravitational pull, kept drawing her closer.

  Riley was lost to it.

  *

  There sat Beth’s mom, excitedly scrolling through pictures on her iPhone, showing Beth the new wing of the museum where she worked as an archivist. There stood Beth’s father scrubbing clean the pots and pans that had been used to cook their sumptuous Thanksgiving dinner, dancing almost imperceptibly to the music that was quietly drifting from the wireless speakers. The immensely old grandfather sat sleeping in his faded Longhorn jersey in the recliner in front of a TV that silently played a Texas football game. There was even a cat—of course there was a cat—curled up on the back of the couch, stuffed full of surreptitiously procured bites of turkey.

  Riley still sat at the kitchen table, taking in the modern Rockwellian scene. Something stirred in her memory from long ago. Did she spend holidays like this with Aidan and her own parents? She couldn’t remember for sure. Maybe she had only imagined times like this. Happy, simple times before her parents died, before she was placed in the protection of those who had only wanted to harm her, before she was abandoned to the system. Or maybe she really had been a part of this once.

  Beth and her family painted such a sweet and domestic picture that it actually pained Riley to watch them. A deep-seated need for a real family of her own squeezed at her heart, and she found that she wanted to stay in this room, surrounded by this love, forever.

  “Hey, Riley, come check out this picture.” Beth motioned her over to the couch where she sat with her mother.

  Riley obliged as Beth said, “This is one of the exhibits Mom is helping with in the new wing.”

  Beth’s mother moved the iPhone so that Riley could see the screen and said, “Beth told me that you’re a cellist, so I took these pictures for you. We can actually go by the museum tomorrow if you’d like to see it in person.”

  Riley looked at the screen and saw close-up pictures of whalebone flutes, hand-carved crude instruments that Riley assumed were supposed to be fiddles, and a rotting concertina that was full of holes.

  “Cool! Where are they from?” Riley asked.

  “There are a lot more. Most were donated by individual collectors, but they were all used aboard ships or in the many pubs by the docks around here,” Mrs. Earle replied.

  “Mom works at the Galveston Maritime Museum. The new wing is for their collection of day-in-the-life entertainment at sea stuff. Instruments, scrimshaw, French postcards, ships in bottles, stuff like that.”

  “Yeah, I’d love to see that.”

  “No problem,” said Mrs. Earle. “The museum is closed tomorrow, so I’ll give you girls a private tour.”

  “Thanks!” Riley was delighted. She hadn’t really known what to expect from this trip, but so far, it was far exceeding her expectations. She looked to Beth. “Now I see where you get it.”

  “What?”

  “Your love of the ocean and nautical stuff.”

  “Oh, I just started working at this museum a few years ago,” Mrs. Earle said. “I worked in a library before that. Beth came into the subject matter on her own.”

  Beth nodded in agreement. “When I was ten, I was in this summer day camp and we’d go on little field trips. We did actually end up going to the maritime museum, though, so you got that part right. They had a special exhibit at the time about famous modern-day ocean explorers, and a name caught my eye. Sylvia Earle. I was so excited to find out that a female explorer had my last name that I became obsessed with learning more about her. Mom and Dad bought me book after book about her and the ocean, and that, as we say, was that. Since then I’ve gotten to hear her speak twice, and she’s definitely my biggest influence. So yeah. That’s why I’m studying ocean sciences and want to move into nautical archaeology.”

  “I didn’t even know such a thing existed.” Riley said.

  “Well, if you stick with me I guarantee you’ll become an expert.”

  Mrs. Earle smiled. “Why do you think I got the job at the museum in the first place? Beth knows everyone who works and volunteers there. When she heard they were looking for an archivist she told them about me, and”—she flourished her hands—“I got the job. Although I think she did it just to get free admission.” She looked at Beth with suspicion.

  Beth feigned innocence. “Hey, does it hurt that I just happen to benefit from the deal?”

  Mr. Earle’s voiced drifted in from the kitchen, “I sell car insurance and she uses my family discount too!”

  Beth yelled back, “And you use my professors and TAs to have an excuse to get back out on the water. There’s nothing wrong with having a symbiotic relationship!”

  Riley could feel the love emanating from the Earle family in waves. She had never been around anything like it. Even when she was at her friends’ houses in Whitehill, the girls and their parents never had any interaction. Now, seeing what having a family could be like, Riley never wanted to leave.

  Later that night, after thanking Mr. and Mrs. Earle and saying good night, Riley sat on her bed in the guest room writing an email to her brother. She had tried calling him and they had gotten to speak for only a few minutes before he was called to duty. She let him know that she’d update him in an email.

  Aidan,

  Happy Thanksgiving! I hope they’re not working you too hard today. Do you get a special meal at least? I don’t want to make you jealous, but I just had the single best Thanksgiving dinner of my life. Beth’s family is pretty much the coolest ever. I thought it might be awkward spending a major holiday with strangers, but they really welcomed me and made me feel comfortable right away. Her dad works in car insurance and her mom works at a museum. Her grandfather is an old fisherman who loves the Longhorns and the Cowboys. It’s a little sad, though. When I leave here, I’ll go back to being solitary me. I’ve never gotten to be a part of a family gathering like this or see how real families interact with each other. Even in high school, I mostly just saw my friends arguing with their parents, and I was obviously never invited to a holiday meal. This is different. I swear they’re like a Hallmark commercial or something. They seem too good to be true.

  Anyway, I envy what they have, but I’m still having the best time. Beth took me to the beach today. I actually stood in the water! It probably seems silly to you after all of the time you spent in San Diego, but it was a nice thing to check off of my bucket list. Beth and her mom are even giving me a private tour of the maritime museum tomorrow. I swear, I could stay here forever. Does Galveston have a symphony? I’ll have to ask.

  My only problem, as per usual, is my head. Yes, you know what I mean. Being around Beth is making the anxiety and the depression come around more often. It feels like I’m fighting with myself and there really shouldn’t be any reason to. This just makes me even madder, of course. I wish I could just have a baby roller coaster of emotions, not the scary-ass roller coaster of doom with loops and broken seat restraints.

  Anyway, I know Beth likes me, she’s pretty open about that, but she hasn’t made a move and there’s no way I’m going to. I’m too busy trying to not drown. I’m afraid that if I loosen my grip on why I’m here even a fraction, it will all get swept away. I’m so scared that school is too
much for me to handle as it is. I almost feel like I don’t deserve the good things that have happened to me lately. You and I have never gotten something good that lasted. It’s almost like the universe wants to toy with us just to see how we’ll handle getting knocked down.

  And that’s why I’m scared. It’s stupid, it’s fatalistic, and I’m pretty sure if I keep up my bitching and moaning, it will turn out to be self-actualizing, but that’s why I have you. You have to slap me around (metaphorically or I’ll kick your ass) and tell me to toughen up.

  But anyway, that’s what’s going on here. Little sis is battling brain storms and doubt, but still having a great time.

  If Beth decides to tell me how she feels, I don’t know if I’ll be strong enough to resist. If Beth never tells me how she feels, I don’t know if I’ll be strong enough to cope with the disappointment.

  Happy Thanksgiving, Bro. Love you!

  Riley

  Just as she hit Send there was a knock at her door. She opened it to find Beth standing with a plate of chocolate chip cookies and milk.

  “Good night snack?”

  Riley actually laughed and groaned at the same time. “I feel like I’ve eaten enough to send an entire army into a food-induced coma! But sure, come on in. I’m not one to turn down snacks.”

  Beth smiled and placed the cookies and milk on the nightstand before jumping onto the bed to lie on her stomach, feet kicking playfully in the air. “It’s an Earle tradition. On the evening of every Thanksgiving, we have cookies and milk to usher in the Christmas season. You know, bookend style. Cookies and milk for us tonight, cookies and milk for Santa on Christmas Eve.”

  Riley smiled at this. Santa was one tradition the workers at the Home tried their best to fulfill. Every year, the kids of the Home were taken on a field trip to the mall to tell Santa their Christmas wishes, and every Christmas Eve the kids got to make and decorate fresh sugar cookies for themselves as well as for Santa’s visit.

  “Sometimes I miss him,” Riley said wistfully. “I always wished for sheet music or gift cards, and he always came through.”

  “Santa’s still around. He just takes a different form when you get older.” Beth bit into a cookie and smiled.

  Riley sat on the bed next to her and stayed silent.

  Beth finished her bite and sat up to face her. “So. Are you enjoying your stay so far?”

  “Oh yeah. Your family is amazing. You’re really lucky.” She couldn’t help the hard swallow that followed. Beth must have noticed because she sat up and put her hand on Riley’s knee.

  “Missing your brother?”

  Riley nodded. “I always miss my brother, but…” She paused. “I’ve never had what you guys have here. I mean, not that I really remember anyway. The only things I have left from my parents are a few everyday items in a shoebox. I think I’m a bit envious if I’m being totally honest.”

  Beth bit her lower lip then said, “I didn’t really think about that. I hope we’re not making you uncomfortable. I just really wanted you to have a good holiday. You seemed to need it.”

  Riley covered Beth’s hand with her own. “This has been the best Thanksgiving I’ve ever had. Your parents are super cool and have been the only parental types that I’ve ever felt comfortable around, so nothing could’ve made this trip better.”

  Beth beamed. “I’m so glad to hear you say that. There is one thing, though.” She looked down at their touching hands. “There’s only one more thing that can make it perfect for me.”

  Riley’s cheeks heated. She guessed what was coming next.

  Beth took a deep breath. “This is so not like me, but I just have to come out and say it or I’m going to explode.” She looked deeply into her eyes. “Riley.”

  “Yeah?”

  “I don’t think it’s any big secret if I tell you that I’ve been mad crushing on you since I first saw you at Metro Haus.” She said it hesitantly as if asking a subtle question.

  Riley didn’t know how to respond, so she made a noncommittal shrug, her face burning even more.

  “Well, I have. And trust me, this is scary as crap for me right now.” She laughed nervously. “But. Yeah. I just wanted you to know. Maybe it’s stupid for me to tell you right now with you held captive in my house, hundreds of miles from campus, but…yeah. I just couldn’t stand not saying something. So. Anyway. Yeah. I really like you. Like, a lot. Just so you know.”

  Riley opened her mouth, not sure of how she was going to respond, but Beth said, “I mean, you don’t have to say anything now. I don’t want to make it all weird. And it absolutely won’t affect our friendship…on my side at least. I just needed to be honest with you. So take whatever time you need.” Still, she looked expectant.

  Now that it had been said out loud, Riley had a decision to make. Should she continue to be trapped by her fears or should she do what every nerve in her body was demanding she do?

  She looked into Beth’s beautiful green eyes behind those glasses and was lost. Beth’s gravity had her. She was already pulled in. And she was fine with that.

  Riley squeezed Beth’s hand as it rested on hers and said, “I adore you, Beth Earle. The nights that I don’t see you studying and trying to sneak glances at me at the coffee shop feel lonely, and the time since I’ve gotten to know you I feel like I don’t want to be around anyone else.”

  Beth’s eyes widened and the largest smile Riley had ever seen on her face formed. “No way.”

  Riley laughed out loud and Beth flushed saying, “Sorry. I…I don’t know how to be romantic. I’m just…God, I’m so freakin’ stoked.”

  Riley snorted with laughter and picked up Beth’s hand, clasping it between her own. “So. What now?”

  Beth sat forward with unbridled excitement. “Can I please kiss you? I’ve been fantasizing about kissing you for so damn long. I’m sorry. Forward much? Again, not good with flowery romantic stuff.”

  Riley laughed again. “Flowery romantic stuff not required with this girl. And yes, I wish you would.”

  Now that the time had come, Riley felt comfortable and eager. Not like when she kissed Tori. She had been surprised and nervous then. It had been her first real kiss, so she supposed that was normal, but with Beth she felt like there was nothing in the world more comforting while at the same time exhilarating and electrifying.

  When Beth leaned in and pressed her lips to Riley’s, she moved like she really meant it. The kiss was soft, but determined and excited at the same time. Riley felt a fire ignite in her stomach and surprised herself when she was overcome with a new and unexpected passion that caused her to roll Beth down onto the bed. She covered Beth’s body with her own and kissed her passionately in a way she hadn’t even realized she knew how to do.

  Beth definitely didn’t complain. If it hadn’t been for Mr. Earle calling from downstairs for Beth to say good night to her grandfather, Riley was pretty sure she would have experienced another first in that very bed. As it was, they pulled away from each other, both out of breath and grinning stupidly.

  “Holy crap,” Riley said, still trying to fight down the growing tingling in her abdomen.

  “We must…do that…again,” Beth said, still smiling broadly.

  “You don’t have to ask me twice.”

  Beth ran her fingers down Riley’s cheek. “I’m hoping this means what I think it means.”

  “That we’re both amazing kissers?” Riley joked.

  “Well, I would say that’s obvious.” She grinned. “Do you…I mean, are you my…are we…”

  Riley leaned down and kissed Beth again, this time tenderly, then said, “Yes. If you can put up with me.”

  Beth’s eyes crinkled. “I’ll do anything for you.”

  Riley kissed her again and then rolled over, freeing Beth to get up from the bed.

  As she reached the doorway to go downstairs she said, “’Night, Riley.” The way she was looking at her made Riley’s heart melt. No one had ever looked at her with such pure tenderness befo
re.

  “’Night.” Riley smiled back, her entire body aching to feel Beth’s touch again.

  With a final glance, Beth left the room and closed the door behind her, leaving Riley trembling and exultant in her wake.

  *

  The next morning, with the sensations of the night’s dreams still fresh on her mind, Riley came downstairs to the smell of cooking eggs, veggie sausage, and toast. Beth stood cooking at the stove, and her mother sat checking email at the kitchen table.

  “Morning,” she said to them both.

  Beth turned around happily and bounded over to her, pulling her into a hug. Riley looked nervously at Mrs. Earle, who simply smiled and patted the chair next to her.

  “Do you want to go see the museum after breakfast?” she asked as Riley sat down.

  “Yeah. Sounds great.”

  Beth had returned to the stove and was shoveling the eggs and sausages onto three plates. The men were already out fishing for the day.

  When she had set the plates down and joined her mother and Riley at the table, Mrs. Earle spoke again. “Beth tells me that you two are now an item.”

  Riley choked on a too large bite of toast. Beth kindly patted her on the back as she coughed and spluttered.

  “Mom! Don’t embarrass her!” To Riley she said, “We’re kind of open and honest here. I’m sorry if you wanted me to wait to tell them. I was…excited.” She squeezed Riley’s shoulder.

  She had stopped coughing so she replied, “No. I mean, that’s fine. I just wasn’t expecting it. Especially with the…” Riley didn’t want to say “the gay thing,” so she just let the sentence trail off.

  “Oh, psh,” said Mrs. Earle. “We’ve been wondering when our Beth would find the woman of her dreams. I’m just glad we’ve been able to meet you so soon!”