by Hill, Teresa
The rightness of it was something she couldn't escape, couldn't deny. She held onto him so tightly she was afraid her desperate grip on his back would leave fingernail marks. He got deep inside of her, and then waited with patience that made her insane. He wanted her to look at him, she knew, look through the darkness and into his beautiful, dark eyes, wanted her to kiss him, wanted her writhing beneath him, trying to get him to move, to give her what she wanted.
He caught her hips firmly in his hands and held her still, taking her mouth with his. Finally, he rocked his body against hers, ever so slightly, exquisitely, and the barely discernible movement exaggerated every sensation.
He throbbed inside of her, filling her completely, making her whimper with need, making her beg. His mouth found her earlobe, and he bit gently there, and then started nibbling his way down her neck.
She whimpered some more, fought to meet every subtle thrust of his body against hers. He wouldn't let her. Not yet.
He was a man who placed great value on control, always had been, and he'd taught her everything she knew about amazing, overwhelming, passionate sex. So this was like coming home, coming home to her very first lover. How the familiarity could be so sexy, she did not understand, but it was.
She bucked against him, frustrated and wanting more, and he used the weight of his body and his hands to hold her more firmly against the bed and unable to move.
"Please," she whispered, as she so often had done with him.
"Not yet," he said.
"Please."
"Wait, Rebecca. You know it'll be so much better for the wait."
She curled her bottom lip over her teeth and bit down. He put a stop to that with his own lips, with his tongue, and then he was kissing her deeply, slowly.
She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, her hands in his hair, tried to arch her body against his as best she could, as much as he would allow.
No matter what, she wouldn't last much longer. She knew it. He had to, too. Her whole body was throbbing against his, sensation piling up on sensation. There was really no holding back once that started.
She groaned, wrapped her legs around his waist as he palmed her hips and lifted her to him as he finally began to thrust deeply, maddeningly slowly against her, until she was completely, utterly lost.
* * *
She woke deep in the night, naked in her tangled sheets and her warm bed with a man's arms around her, her body pressed against the length of his.
She'd fallen into an exhausted sleep in his arms.
Rebecca went to move away from him. She needed to think, and she couldn't do that when he was so close, when she could still feel the imprint of his body against hers.
But he wouldn't let go of her. She thought he was asleep, but he wasn't, and he wouldn't let go.
"Stay," he said softly, his lips against the top of her head. "Just for another minute or two."
There was a catch in his voice, a hint of something she didn't recognize. If he had been anyone else, she would have said it was vulnerability.
But she was the vulnerable one, the one in danger of losing herself in him all over again.
"Tucker?"
His arms tightened around her again. They held her still when she would have turned around to face him. But her curiosity wouldn't let it go at that. She tried again, and this time he let her go.
Her first instinct was to get up off the bed, to put some distance between them, but something else—that unfamiliar tone to his voice—kept her there.
She eased out of his arms and rolled over. He was lying on his side, facing her. He was staring at her so intently, looking for something, searching inside her soul.
For what?
What more did he want from her?
What did she have left to give?
He took her chin in his hand, ran his thumb along her jaw, then kissed her softly on the lips. And once again, her body set out to betray her.
"I've missed you, Rebecca," he said, his voice low and rough with emotion.
She swallowed hard, not sure how to respond, not sure she even had to. She'd already shown him how very much she missed him. Did she have to say it, as well?
She stared at him through the darkness, watched as he came closer and closer to kiss her again, lingering this time, pressing closer in a hot, shimmering touch that made her think of coals smoldering in a fireplace.
It was so easy to bring up the fire again.
Rebecca shivered in the midst of the heat. Then, when he would have pulled away, she put her hand on the side of his face to hold him to her.
What was she going to do with him? What was he going to do to her?
He kissed her again. She heard the rustle of the sheets as he pushed them out of the way and pressed his body to hers.
Her hand caressed his cheek and— Puzzled, she broke off the kiss. She couldn't believe it.
There were tears on his cheek.
"Tucker?"
"I love you, Rebecca," he said, using that same rough, emotion-packed tone.
She was speechless. He'd told her that before, and she'd tried to push it from her mind, because she didn't know what to make of it.
She didn't know how to deal with it, and it frightened her too much to even contemplate—loving him again—having him love her.
"I don't..." That was all she could manage, because she didn't know what to say and because he turned his head to press a kiss into her palm.
"Rebecca, do you think if I say it enough, someday you might believe it?"
She stared at him. "I don't know. I don't understand."
She put her hand on his other cheek and found a tear there, as well. She followed its path with one finger, still having a hard time accepting what she'd found.
He was a man who rarely showed his emotions, a man who'd rather tell a joke and make her laugh than talk about anything that might be bothering him. And she'd never seen him like this.
He kissed her again, fiercely. His arms came around her and gathered her close as they lay side by side on the bed.
Her breasts nestled against his chest, his arousal pressed against her belly and his legs intertwined with hers.
"Give me a chance," he said between his long, drugging kisses. "Give me a chance to make you believe it."
She shivered with pleasure and held on to him tight, held on to the moment, held on to the night.
If only they could hold on to the night and never deal with the realities of their mixed-up lives, with the insecurities and fears and past wrongs that could never be made right.
Rebecca gave herself up to his touch and his fire. He rolled over onto his back and took her with him, settled her on top of him and with his hands on her hips, urged her into a long, slow, sensuous rhythm as old as time.
* * *
They made love one more time before the dawn betrayed them.
Rebecca lay there and watched light sneak in through the blinds. She was exhausted and exhilarated, more confused than she'd ever been in her life, and she was scared. She was so very scared.
In the night, she'd told him with her body what she'd refused to put into words—that she'd give him exactly what he wanted, another chance.
"Mmmm," Tucker murmured and buried his nose in the curve of her neck.
He was lying mostly on top of her, just a little to the right, just enough so she could breathe, and she was running her hands in long, slow strokes over the muscles in his back and his buttocks.
Yes, she thought as she watched the sunshine grow brighter. She'd told him all he needed to know last night. She was far from indifferent to him. And God help her now that he knew.
Rebecca felt goose bumps rising on her flesh as he nipped at her neck with his teeth and knew she had to stop him right now or she'd never get him out of here.
"Tucker?"
"Hmmm?"
"Sammy's going to be getting up soon. You've got to get out of here," she said, uncomfortable with him beside her in her bed in t
he harsh light of day.
He waited and watched, just long enough to worry her, then rolled off her, put his underwear and his pants back on, then sat on the side of the bed, facing her.
"Okay, I'll get out of here, in a minute. But first, you and I have some talking to do."
"About what?" she dared to ask, ever so innocently.
"You know what." He said it lightly, but she recognized it for the warning it was. She wasn't going to get away from him until they'd settled some things.
Rebecca tucked the sheet around her and sat up, leaning against a pillow propped against the headboard and staring down at her hand, trying not to look at him.
She'd expected regrets come morning, and she was sure they were inside her head somewhere. But for right now, she was mostly just stunned to be here in her bedroom, completely bare except for the sheet she'd wrapped herself in, her hair down and disheveled, her lips swollen from his kisses. Tucker was sitting there, beautiful in the morning light, his hair a little messed up, a pleasant sweep of stubble on his jaw, heat and a hint of wickedness in his gaze, a stamp of pleasure on his face.
She'd never thought to be with him like this again.
He took her hands in his and ran his thumbs over hers, back and forth over her ring finger. Her hands were bare, save for the small gold band, her grandmother's, that she wore on the third finger of her right hand.
He twisted it back and forth on her finger, then turned his attention to her left hand, to the telltale white strip of skin on the otherwise tanned hand that told him until recently, a ring had been there.
Her engagement ring from Brian.
It seemed like a million years ago that she'd been planning, then postponing, then planning again, to marry Brian.
Tucker stared down at that white band of skin.
"When I decided I had to come find Sammy, I was certain you and Brian were married," he said.
"I know," she said.
"So, I never even imagined that the two of us..." He paused, clasped his fingers with hers and gave her a weak smile before starting again. "I think I'm getting ahead of myself."
"Tucker, it's okay. You don't have to say anything—"
"I do. I have to. When I found out you weren't married, everything changed. I thought, all this time, Sammy had a father. I didn't think I'd ever have a chance to really be his father, and that it would be selfish of me to even try because Brian had already taken over that role."
"He was great with Sammy."
"But he's not Sammy's father, was never your husband. Rebecca, when I came back, I was sure you had a husband. I thought you loved him and you were happy. Even when I knew you were free, for the longest time I thought it was hopeless between us. But it's not. I mean—it must not be hopeless because here we are—"
"Tucker, no." She shook her head. "This was just sex. It was good, but—"
"Don't try to tell me it didn't mean anything to you." She'd made him angry. "I know you better than that, Rebecca."
She thought about arguing, but was afraid of the methods he'd use to convince her she was wrong. So she held her tongue and let him continue.
"I love Sammy, and Sammy loves me. I need him, Rebecca, and you know he needs me, too. He wants us to be a family again, and so do I."
A family?
"We are his family," she said. "His mother and his father. We'll always be tied together because of Sammy."
"Do you really not know?" He stared at her for the longest time, then shook his head and laughed, sadly. "Did you think I just wanted to get you into bed with me again? Did you think this was about my ego or something?"
"I..." She was afraid to answer him, afraid to have him answer her. "I just don't know."
He cursed and got to his feet, the tension pushing him to move, anywhere. He raked his hand back through his hair, then stopped by the window to lean against the casing and stare out at the coming day.
"I know you're not ready for this, Rebecca, and I've tried to wait, but you know patience has never been one of my virtues." He walked back to the bed.
She felt it give beneath his weight as he sat down beside her, facing her.
"Rebecca?"
Her eyes came up to meet his, and she had a desperate urge to flee from the intense look in his eyes. He'd already turned her world upside down. What more could he possibly do?
"I must be doing this badly if you have no idea. You don't, do you?"
She shook her head in wonder.
He tilted his head to the right and moved in slowly, settling his lips over hers in a slow, sweet, unnerving kiss.
"I want you to be my wife again."
Chapter 15
She sat in the bed where he'd proven to her, beyond the shadow of a doubt, all night long, that she still had feelings for him.
Denying it would do her no good.
But marriage?
Marriage?
Something had warned her, before he spoke, to brace herself, to prepare for something. But she'd never dreamed—not this. She never would have believed he could want to be married to her again.
And, yes, she had entertained thoughts that his whole pursuit of her had a lot to do with his ego, maybe a little curiosity, a little bit of for-old-times'-sake thrown in. Maybe even just wanting to get back at Brian or at her for the years she'd spent with Brian.
But she'd never imagined this.
She'd feared that Tucker would turn her life upside down—and he already had—but she'd also been sure that things would get back to normal sooner or later. He would mostly be gone, and she would pick up the pieces of her life.
Again.
If she could this time.
But then he'd been so good with Sammy, seemed so committed to being a father, and he'd moved back to Tallahassee.
Still... marriage?
"Tucker, I'd never interfere with your relationship with Sammy, if that's what you're worried about. We don't have to be married to be a family for him."
"I know."
"Sammy understands that. I know he's upset right now, but he—"
"It's not about Sammy," he said, watching her every move. "It's about us."
"No..." She shook her head in wonder.
"I love you, Rebecca. I'm not sure if I even knew what the words meant the first time I said them to you, all those years ago, but I do now. I know so much more now than I did then."
He went still. His jaw was rigid and his eyes were so bright, so intense.
"You still feel something for me. I know you do. I can feel it every time I touch you."
His trump card. And there was nothing she could say to it.
She felt it every time he touched her, and she couldn't hide it from him.
"I'm not the man I used to be, Rebecca."
"I know that."
He smiled like a man who knew he was gaining ground with her all the time.
"I won't hurt you this time, Rebecca. I'll cherish you. I'll be thankful for every day we have together."
She wanted to plead with him to stop. She wanted to run from him, or turn back the clock to the time when she hadn't heard from him in years.
"Oh, Tucker."
"I've been lonely, Rebecca. Empty. You've felt it, too. You told me so."
She closed her eyes. She remembered the loneliness, remembered the day she'd faced the idea of spending the rest of her life alone, just her and Sammy. The day she'd said goodbye to the idea of having more children and having the kind of family she'd dreamed of when she was a little girl.
It wasn't going to happen. It hadn't when she was married to Tucker, and it hadn't in all those years of trying to build a life with Brian.
But to try again with Tucker?
God, it scared her to death just thinking about it.
"I—Tucker. I couldn't make it through losing you again. "
Rebecca wished she could pull the words back inside her. She'd given him a powerful weapon over her—knowledge of her greatest fear—that she'd fall in lov
e with him all over again and then lose him again.
Rebecca waited, holding her breath, to see what he could possibly do next. She wondered why it had to be him who made her feel this way.
He fished around in the pocket of his jeans. A flash of light brought her head up, and she saw something in his hand.
No, on his thumb.
A ring, perched on the tip of his thumb, catching the light shining in the window, leaving her speechless, paralyzed with fear.
She opened her mouth, struggling with her words.
"Don't say anything. Not yet," he said, hushing her with a finger against her lips. "I know you don't love me anymore, but you feel something for me. And maybe in time you could come to love me again."
Which was exactly what scared her to death.
She watched in shock as Tucker took advantage of the element of surprise. It shouldn't have surprised her, because Tucker made full use of any advantage he ever had. He slipped that big diamond on her finger, covering up the white band of skin, and held it there, while she longed to tear it off as fast as she could.
"Take your time, Rebecca. Just think about it." He kissed her palm, and she felt the touch jet through her entire body. "We can make it work this time. I know we can, if you'll just give us a chance."
Then he scooped his shirt up off the floor and left.
She couldn't believe he just left, right then, in the middle of this.
Left her with his ring on her finger.
She jerked it off, hurting her finger in the process. She sat there, naked in her bed, staring at the ring he'd left behind, more confused than ever before.
* * *
"Rebecca?" her mother said.
"Mmmm?" Rebecca quit fidgeting with her tea bag and set it aside.
"Do you want to tell me what's wrong? Or do I have to guess?"
Rebecca heaped sugar into her tea. She was sleepy and still in shock over what had happened the night before, over everything that had happened since Tucker came back. And she'd been desperately trying to hang onto her anger with her mother over her part in bringing Tucker back. But Rebecca really wasn't very good at being mad at her mother. Plus, she had to talk to someone about the night before, and she picked her mother, who'd always liked Tucker. She'd been angry at him for hurting Rebecca and for leaving her and Sammy, but her mother had also played a part in bringing Tucker back to them.