“I’ve agreed to look, but you know it will be difficult finding Rose,” tempered Beth.
“You’ll find her Beth; I just pray that she’s in good condition and in safe surroundings when you do. I’ve left instructions for you in your envelope.” His coughing returned, this time it was a bad fit. Beth noticed a small amount of blood quickly folded into the handkerchief used to conceal his coughing. Anwar recovered and continued. “Beth, I can’t go with you. I will support you, as best I can, from here. Just assure me that the two of us will form a tight, small group, on this mission. We need to be totally committed.”
“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has,” responded Beth. Beth smiled, as she knew this was Subra’s way of telling her to accept the mission, and the small group now had three members, not two. This group was growing in size. Anwar snapped Beth back to attention.
“I don’t know that one but it’s beautiful.”
“Margaret Mead,” said Beth instinctively.
“Beth we’ve chatted enough. I want you to go home and read the instructions. I need you to prepare and pack, before you change your mind. I can’t begin to tell you how happy you’ve made me. This is an adventure that you’re destined to be part of. My voice at night told me that you needed to do this. This is not just for me but it’s for you also. Please go now and stay safe my child. I love you like the daughter I never had,” gushed Anwar. Anwar leaned forward slowly; he kissed Beth on the forehead and placed something in her left hand. Beth looked down. Anwar had placed a beautiful white rose in her palm. She raised her eyes to meet his.
“Anwar, I promise you, I will find your daughter, but I have a strange question to ask you,” said Beth. “Your spirit talked with you in your dreams, and I have a similar spirit guide. My spirit guide indicated that you’d tell me something important. It will help me with my life’s mission. I have to ask you one thing.”
“Go ahead. I will help where ever I can.”
“I would like you to think hard about a Shell, yes a Shell. Where in your life does a Shell become prominent? Where have you seen a Shell? If I said Shell, what would that mean to you?” asked Beth hopefully.
Anwar thought hard. “Beth, I’m sorry, I’m drawing a blank. I’ve never lived by the sea, I’ve never owned a Shell, or had a Shell prominent in anything that I can recall. This is one that I can’t help you with. I don’t know how I can tell you anything meaningful about a Shell.” Anwar looked disappointed; he wanted to help so badly. He looked deep into Beth’s eyes. “Please find my little Rose, and make sure you return home safe.”
He picked up his duffle bag, coughed loudly, and trundled along the allotment path leaving Beth to wonder what she had just signed up for. As they had talked the clouds had moved in. The afternoon sun, once so strong and bright, had taken its leave.
The light was fading fast and the feelings of darkness were starting to settle. Beth could not believe how quickly the time had gone. Anwar was a kind old man, but listening to his cough Beth agreed he did not have long to live. It was natural that he wanted to send one last letter to his daughter. Beth was still sitting on the bench surrounded by swaying roses. She held a white rose in her hand and two envelopes. The night continued to draw in quickly and the weight of her promise now started to play on her mind. Had she done the right thing? Did she even know what she had signed up for? Could she pull this off or would she disappoint?
Beth suddenly became aware that she was alone in the allotments; everyone else had gone home including Anwar. The wind was picking up again and the temperature had dropped. Beth shuddered and wrapped her arms around herself. She quickly placed the rose on the bench and gently placed the two envelopes in her purse. She left them sticking out as her purse was not deep enough. Pulling the strap over her shoulder she stood, shivered, and hurried out of the metal gate, closing it behind her. Beth thought the alley looked different at night, too many shadows, and too many mind games. She rarely used the alley after dark. She hurried down over the cobbles and headed home briskly, not looking back. At the end of the alley she suddenly remembered, she had left the white rose on the bench. She stopped momentarily but continued on quickly, leaving the rose behind.
“I lost one rose but I’ll find another,” she thought.
Beth passed a couple of teenage boys hanging out at the corner. She immediately thought of what Anwar had said. One of the envelopes contains money. She glanced quickly at the boys; they were not paying any attention to Beth. Beth hurried past the boys. She clutched her purse tightly, as she started down the cobbled hill. She entered Sun Street with a feeling of relief. She noticed the street lamps illuminating. She will just make it home before it gets too dark. Beth approached her cottage, and at the front door, she fumbled for her keys. She entered and reached for the light switch, closing the darkening outside world, behind her. Feeling safe and calm, she bolted the door, and sank into her favorite chair. It was quiet, except the faint drone of a passing car, and the sound of some distant voices.
“What have I done?” said Beth aloud to herself.
As she looked around at her modest little rented home she recognized her neatly organized belongings. This was her place. It was not much, but it was hers, and she felt safe. What would she feel like in India? She did not have travel gear; she had no immunization jabs, and knew nothing about what lay ahead. This was more than a day trip to Scarborough seaside. Beth remembered the quotes popping into her head when she spoke with Anwar. Clearly Subra was at work finding a way to communicate with her during her waking hours. The quotes were positive and Beth took this as Subra’s way of endorsing her direction and decisions.
Beth looked down at her purse. It was lying on the floor, at the side of her chair, with two white envelopes protruding. She reached down slowly and retrieved them. The first was sealed, with “Rose” written neatly on the front. Beth placed this back in her purse. She looked at the second envelope labeled “Beth.” She flicked open the folded flap with her fingernail. Numerous items were inside, but Beth selected the letter from Anwar.
* * * * *
Chapter 5: Focus on the outcome that you want
Dear Beth, What I have asked you to do is a favor so large I was ashamed to ask. The fact that you are reading this note means that you have graciously accepted my request. If truth were told, I should have visited India years ago, when I was a younger man, in better health. The news of my love and of our daughter has shaken me to my very soul. I was filled with joy that my daughter had lived, and shame that I had not sought these answers earlier. I was happy to toil away in the allotment of life, comforted in the fact that I did not know. Now that I do, I feel helpless. Beth, you are my only hope of salvation. I believe that every little girl needs a Daddy, and that absence is something that now bonds both you and Rose. I know in my heart that Rose is alive, but I have a fear for a young girl in an orphanage, in that area. Many bad things can happen to her, especially if she has her Mother’s looks. I know this is a daunting task for you Beth. You are sharp, quick minded, healthy, and full of life. You are strong willed and resourceful. You are the perfect person for the job. There is one other quality that you have Beth, I trust you with all of my heart. I will try to make sure that you are safe. India can be charming but it has its dangers. I have taken the liberty of booking you into business class to India. I have arranged a driver for you, when you land in India. Your hotel is booked; your journey is well planned. I would not want my daughter traveling to a strange land without these basics being arranged. I have included money for you in English pounds and Indian Rupees. I’m sure you will have enough, but my home number and mobile number are attached at the bottom of this letter, should you need more. Your flight is prepaid on Emirates leaving from Manchester tomorrow at 2.05pm. You will fly through Dubai to Kolkata and land in Kolkata in the early hours of the morning, around 8am. I will have the driver hold a sign with your name on it. Y
ou should have no issues. I have also attached the name, address, and number of the hotel that you are staying in, should there be a mix up. The small wooden elephant faced figure is “Lord Ganesha.” He removes obstacles; please keep him with you. He will bring you good fortune. I can never thank you enough Beth. I know that you will not be working, so please use some of the money to pay for your rent. I have tried to put myself in your shoes, but quite simply, I would have said “No.” The fact that you said, “Yes,” is a miracle. For that, I cannot do enough for you. Please accept my eternal gratitude. I have attached more details, but for now make sure you are on the plane from Manchester airport at 8.10pm tomorrow.
Good luck and stay safe.
Regards,
Anwar Patel
* * * * *
Beth looked into the envelope and examined its contents. She glued the Indian Visa into her passport as instructed. She went to her wardrobe and started to fill a backpack. She knew she wanted to travel light; some tee shirts, a sweater, a rain jacket, underwear, and more. Beth put the little wooden Lord Ganesha inside her backpack and smiled.
“Remove obstacles,” she thought. She kept her packing to a minimum. Guided by a sense of urgency, Beth phoned her landlord. She informed him of the future rent payments, contained in an envelope, on her dining table. She told him that she needed to go away for a while; she did not know when she would be back. She had prepaid two months in advance. With the details planned, and her bag packed, Beth was now starting to feel excited. She hung up the telephone after speaking with the Taxi Company. She had arranged to be picked up at 11am. Beth had taken care of everything that she could think of. She was now ready to find Rose. Beth had a sudden urge to talk with Anwar; should she call him? She picked up the phone and dialed the number.
“Hello?” answered Anwar softly.
“It’s me, Beth.”
“Is there something wrong?” asked Anwar.
“No, not at all. That’s why I’m calling. I just wanted to call and tell you that I’m packed, ready to go, and excited about this opportunity. I’m feeling confident that I’ll find your daughter Rose. Anwar, I will find her, I just thought that it was important that I tell you that,” said Beth.
“I know you will Beth, I know you will.”
“Have a good night Anwar.”
“Good night my dear, you’re on the right path,” said Anwar as he paused and then hung up the phone.
“On the right path,” repeated Beth. “I wonder what he means by that?”
Beth felt warm inside. She had never been more certain she was doing the right thing. She knew it felt good to help Anwar, but she couldn’t help feeling a sense of urgency. She didn’t know why, but she wished she could be on the plane now. Tomorrow morning will drag until she could start her adventure. Why was she so wired? Was she excited about helping Anwar? Was she excited about giving Aklina some family roots? Was she excited about the prospect of an adventure, pushing herself out of her comfort zone?
Beth realized that she was caught up in a host of frenzied possibilities. She stared at the wall in horror. Beth realized that she had neglected her most pressing mission. She needed to help Subra! Beth would hear from Subra tonight, and she would not be surprised if he was disappointed. Beth had spent the day taking on another task. She had let Subra down, and she could feel this impending darkness growing within her.
“Oh, no!” Beth said to herself. “I got caught up with the Aklina mission, and I didn’t find anything to help Subra.” Beth sat quietly and replayed her conversation with Anwar in her head. She felt uneasy, as she could not recognize the message that she was supposed to hear. What was it? Beth was getting tired, and she knew she had a big day coming. She felt a little apprehensive about falling asleep. Beth knew when she fell asleep she would have to converse with Subra. What would she tell him? Would he scold her for accepting the Indian mission ahead of finding the portal? It seemed that Subra wanted Beth to accept the mission but did she misread his quotes? Beth was apprehensive about Subra’s reaction. He had stressed that time was running out and finding the portal was critical. Going to India, on a side mission, was probably not what Subra had in mind. She did not look forward to the upcoming conversation with Subra, but she could not stay awake any longer. Beth headed upstairs. As she climbed each step, she felt heavy and sluggish. This was the first time she had ever felt this way running on pure energy. The stairwell in Beth’s cottage was narrow and dimly lit. Beth could feel her body rising with anxiety. Why did she feel this way? She had completed her nightly rituals of turning the lights off and checking the locks. Beth entered her bedroom. She opened the set of drawers at the side of her bed.
She pulled out her warmest, heavy wool pajamas, and quickly changed into them. It was good to sleep in her bed tonight, back in familiar surroundings. She hoped Subra would not be too mad with her. Beth watched the shadows dancing on her bedroom ceiling, as the traffic outside created its nightly light show. Beth slipped into sleep quickly.
“Good job today Beth, you’re on your way, and you handled it great,” said Subra in a cheerful voice.
“What? I accepted a mission in India that I can’t back out of now,” explained Beth.
“Beth, I asked you to help find the portal for me. We’ll set out on this journey together and it’ll lead us to the portal. I said that Anwar will tell us something that will help us locate the portal and he did,” said Subra.
“Oh, great, you figured it out then. I’m so glad. I tried and I think I missed it. What was it?” thought Beth.
“I don’t know yet, but we will. We’ve been offered a road to travel together and I’m proud that you said yes. I’m proud that you agreed to help Anwar. That act will be rewarded. Beth, you did this for all the right reasons, your insights will come. Your wisdom will be provided through uncertainty.”
Beth was relieved at Subra’s reaction. She had been worried, but she felt she had done the right thing. Subra confirmed this as they continued to talk. That night Subra and Beth discussed the day and the interaction with Anwar. Subra shared with Beth that Anwar’s aura was weak. His statements of “Not having long,” were probably accurate. This would explain his immediacy at finding his daughter.
“I felt sorry for Anwar, he waited too long. Now he has a glimmer of hope, his body is too frail to go and seek it out. He so wants to give his daughter the truth,” thought Beth.
“Matthew Arnold; Sohrab and Rustum,” suggested Subra.
“Yes, I’ve located it; Truth sits upon the lips of dying men,” answered Beth. “Neat trick by the way; injecting quotes into my conscious waking hours.”
“That’s the best I can do. I still can’t talk with you, other than when you’re asleep. I can position the odd quote for you.”
“I wasn’t hungry today, that pure energy really works. I was weak climbing the stairs on route to my bed. Why is that?” inquired Beth.
Subra responded quickly, “Any negative thoughts that you have will weaken you. You were creating an anxiety around my reaction to your fantastic deeds today. This was self-imposed, you responded perfectly. You did exactly as you should have done.”
“I told Anwar that I felt confident that I could find Rose, and....”
Subra quickly interrupted, “Turns out if you never lie, there’s always someone mad at you.”
“Thanks Subra, you’re a true friend,” thought Beth.
“I have a quote from Jay Leno for you. Go through your phone book, call people and ask them to take you to the airport. The ones who will drive you are your true friends. The rest aren’t bad people; they’re just acquaintances. Beth, I can’t drive you to the airport, but I will stay with you for your entire journey. Adversity does teach who your real friends are.”
“I would be lying if I didn’t say that I felt nervous. I know I’m going to meet Rose. I really hope she likes me,” thought Beth.
“If you make it plain that you like people, it’s hard for them to resist liking you,” assure
d Subra.
“If I’m honest, I’m still worried about this India thing. You can sense that, right?”
“What worries you masters you, we are passengers together,” responded Subra. “Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight,” said Subra. “Keep your sunny disposition.”
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