“I thought you said that you refuse to beat yourself up anymore. It’s the first day and you’ve made significant progress. Small opportunities are often the beginning of great enterprise. A handful of patience is worth more than a bushel of brains,” replied Subra.
“I’m thinking that I should just stop now,” thought Beth in a serious moment.
“Others can stop you temporarily; only you can do it permanently.” He paused and waited for the response.
“Of course you’re right. I’ve made a decent start. I didn’t find Rose on the first day but I guess I was the only one that thought I would? Anwar knew I wasn’t a quitter or a slacker. I’ll work harder, like Lord Ganesha and remove the obstacles,” thought Beth with more optimism.
“The wisest mind has something left to learn. You will learn quickly Beth. This is a new country, new people, and a different game than what you’re used to. You’ll need to adapt to your new surroundings and become sly, like that fox on your wrist,” Subra suggested.
“Yes, it’s time to get foxy. We might be in India but I’m a Yorkshire lass, a hardy, stubborn breed us folk. I’m not giving up on Rose. I will simply try harder,” thought Beth with an air of defiance.
“That’s the spirit. Force without wisdom fails of its own weight. To acquire knowledge, one must study, to acquire wisdom one must observe,” said Subra. He was directing energy to wake Beth and signal to her their discussion was over.
Beth woke with study and observe, ringing in her mind. “I’m missing things,” said Beth to herself. “I need to be more observant.” Beth called the ever-ready Sanjeev and instructed him to be primed for another trip tonight.
“Where to this time?” said Sanjeev sitting in the driver’s seat of the taxi. Beth handed him the note given to her by Amba.
188 Raja S.C. Mallik Road
Kolkata 700 032
Sanjeev studied the address and nodded to Beth. “We go, take a while,” he said with a smile.
The taxi pulled away from The Astor Hotel and made its way into the city. The streets were bustling with people and energy as the light faded into darkness. When Sanjeev arrived at the destination he peered out of his window. He confirmed that they were at the right address.
Sanjeev pointed to a sign, “Miss, this is the place,” he said looking down at the written note. Beth saw the sign attached to a wooden frame by rusting nails. Three, large, circular, lamps illuminated the sign. Jadavpur University Faculty of Engineering and Technology188 Raja S.C. Mallik Road Kolkata 700 032
This was the place but the building had been converted into a technology campus. Beth did not know what to think. Was this the house? Had it been sold? Perhaps demolished? Was this always a false address given to secure Rose? Beth could feel her heart sink again. She was starting to feel each door closing on her; she stared at Lord Ganesha as if to ask why. Sanjeev was waiting for instructions as he peered into the rear view mirror.
“I need to find Rose Akhter, she was a little girl given to the Kalam family twenty years ago. She supposedly lived here at this address,” blurted out Beth in frustration.
The street was getting dark and a group of young students were making their way home. They talked and laughed loudly. They stared at Beth as they walked by. Sanjeev started the taxi and headed down the street. He found a small lane opening and parked the taxi at the side of the road.
“Stay here.”
Sanjeev left the taxi to talk to three old men sitting on the storefront steps. Beth watched from within with the taxi windows rolled down. Sanjeev struck up a conversation with the men. They were all smiling and laughing. This was followed by Sanjeev mentioning, “Rose Akhter,” and the family name “Kalam.” Beth could barely hear the old men. They mentioned “Rose,” it was the only English word she recognized. She could see them pointing fingers in the direction of the University. The old men continued to talk with Sanjeev in a cordial manner. One of the old men struggled to get up and support his weight. After some effort and a slight stagger, he managed to turn into the open doorway. He shouted something while waving his arms. An old woman appeared dressed in yellow; she talked with the old man and pointed down the street. She quickly disappeared and the old man continued to talk with Sanjeev.
“Sanjeev, you smooth talker,” whispered Beth in the taxi.
Sanjeev offered a card to one of the old men. He bowed slightly and bounded off to the car with excitement flowing through his steps. “I think I have a lead Miss,” he said. “The old men have lived on this street since they were kids. They’re true historians.”
“What did they say?” asked Beth impatiently.
“They remember the Kalam family and they recalled them having a little girl,” said Sanjeev proudly. “They thought they remembered a name like Rose. One of the men’s cousins had a daughter. He thinks she and the Kalam girl played together. His cousin’s at a wedding and won’t be back until tomorrow. He said he would call me and we can talk with his cousin directly,” explained Sanjeev proudly.
“Thank you Sanjeev, you did a great job, but do you really think he’ll call you?”
Sanjeev looked deep into Beth’s eyes, “No. I think we’ll need to come back here tomorrow where these three old men will still be sitting. Back to the hotel?”
Beth nodded, “Yes, enough excitement for one day.” Beth thought, “Sanjeev has kept this mission alive. It’s one thing to look at old orphanage records; it’s another to rely on the memory of old men. This assumes his cousin will remember his daughter’s little friend.”
This was the only lead that Beth could follow so what choice did she have? The search for Rose felt like it was beginning to be a long shot. The portal search had stalled before it had started. Beth watched the people, the dirt, the rickshaws, and the trucks. They all weaved a dance across white lane lines and any resemblance of order. The taxi moved through the darkening night, headlights, and horns all part of the melee. Sanjeev looked calm as he sounded the horn to let a slower truck know he was approaching. Beth looked at the truck they were about to pass. The words “Sound Horn,” was painted on the rear, in white letters. A few cows were wandering around at the side of the road in an uncaring manner. Little kids played in piles of garbage and families huddled in make shift accommodations. People dressed in white shirts leapt out of the shadows while others blended into the darkness. The taxi pulled in to The Astor Hotel and the guards completed their routine.
“Good evening Miss, hope you had a pleasant day?” said one of the guards as he circled the white taxi.
Sanjeev was motioned forward into the small courtyard. The tall, thin, tree was swaying in the wind. Beth thought they might get some rain tonight. She thanked Sanjeev and he offered his assistance for the coming day.
“I’ll wait for your call as usual; I’ve left my number at the front desk. They can call me anytime. Have a good night Miss,” said Sanjeev smiling with a little bow and a head wobble.
Beth thanked Sanjeev again before entering the hotel and heading up to her room. Beth entered the plastic card key into the wall slot and the lights came on in her room. Someone had been in her room. Items had been moved and the room looked tidy. The bed was turned down. A small chocolate was placed on a silver tray with the room service breakfast menu. Beth looked at the chocolate longingly. Beth did not feel hungry or thirsty at all. She missed eating. Meals provide nourishment but they are also a form of socialization. Even when you eat alone you are greeted and interact with your server. You can sit with others and watch others, as you eat. You can imagine scenes being played out, like a movie at each table. You are alone and yet connected to the energies within the room. Beth missed that. Each meal has a different energy about it. The vibrant or subdued breakfast; the lunch with friends or colleagues; the dinner with family or a special loved one. Beth had a chocolate she couldn’t eat and an empty room. She loved chocolate.
It was early evening and Beth turned on the television in hopes that it would provide some entertainment. She
wanted to stay enlightened; perhaps some important messages would be delivered. She wanted to be aware, open. As the TV flickered into life she pointed the remote and searched the channels. Most of the channels were not in English some had high energy, Bollywood dance scenes. Beth settled on BBC World News. The prim looking anchor was talking about global financial equity prices and mid cap stocks. Beth did not really listen. She thought the woman’s accent was a bit plumy, that type of forced posh voice. It was however English and it felt like home. She left the news anchor babbling as she undressed and slipped into her hotel slippers and robe. Beth stretched out on the bed and propped herself up with the pillows. She placed the tray gently on the nightstand and focused on the TV. The news had moved to sports report. Beth was not a big sports fan. From what she could gather it looked as though Liverpool Football Club had defeated Manchester United at Old Trafford by a score of 3 to 1.
The interviewer flashed to a good-looking man who Beth instantly recognized. “Steven Gerrard” was the caption under his picture. He was the Liverpool captain. Beth did not listen to the words but she studied his face and his smile. It was the first man of her type she had seen for a while. It was also a bit of home. Beth was starting to drift as she turned off the TV. She turned the room lights off and laid back to rest. It was not long before Beth was asleep.
“Where are you my friend? Do you follow Liverpool or Manchester United?” Beth joked. No response. “Perhaps my joke was in poor taste?” thought Beth. There was still no response.
“I’m here,” said Subra. “I’ve been working on your energy flows.”
Beth could immediately sense that something was wrong, perhaps Subra was annoyed, “Are you angry with me? Subra?” asked Beth.
“Not at all, you did a great job today. You’ve accomplished a great deal.”
Beth felt better, but there was something that she had felt, even though she could not explain it. Beth talked with Subra throughout the night. She discussed her interactions with Amba, Sanjeev, and the comments from the old men. Beth spoke of her frustration at not eating and her lack of progress on the portal and the Shell. Subra reassured Beth that her journey would provide insights into the location of the portal. Beth did not agree. All of her interactions had been functional, providing no insights into the location of a portal.
“Yes. Food is important, tell me what you eat and I will tell you what you are. That could be difficult with you Beth you’re an enigma!” teased Subra. “Einstein said nothing would benefit human health and increase the chances for survival of life on Earth as much as the evolution to a vegetarian diet. Beth, most people in India are vegetarian.”
“It’s fine with me, chocolate is vegetarian. Well, it’s meatless at least,” thought Beth. “I felt fear today Subra. I feared that doors were closing, and my chance of finding Rose and the portal were slipping away.”
“No one but a coward dares to boast that he has never known fear,” reassured Subra.
“It’s not like that,” shared Beth. “I felt like I didn’t fit in here. I was ignorant.”
“At least you recognized that. It is worse still to be ignorant of your ignorance. You have to remember Beth it’s innocence when it charms us, ignorance when it doesn’t. All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure,” responded Subra trying to bolster Beth’s feelings. “Ignorance gives one a large range of probabilities.”
“I understand that, and don’t get me wrong, I can’t know everything but I really started to doubt myself again. That’s what scared me.”
“Doubt whom you will but never doubt yourself. A mind troubled by doubt cannot focus on the course to victory,” Subra responded.
“I should know this and I’ve made a commitment to myself to be positive. I can’t seem to stop criticizing myself.”
“Remember what I told you about your choice of words, they’re intentions that come true. By saying that you can’t, you are asking for this to happen. Focus on what you can. As for others, if you’re not criticized, you may not be doing much. Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain. Most fools do,” assured Subra.
Subra and Beth talked at length about her feelings that night. They shared ideas on how they might unearth some clues to the location of the portal. Subra asked Beth to be more direct in her interactions. She needed to ask about the Shell. She needed to find any hidden meaning. Beth was feeling better about the progress made to find Rose. She hoped that Amba’s feelings were unfounded. She felt better about finding Rose in good health. Beth still had this nagging uncertainty about the portal. She was concerned about how she would get the right clues. This lack of control was eating away at her insides. She did not like the helpless feeling it created. Beth was sure about one thing.
She would find Rose. She had told Subra that Rose was the key. She would still ask everyone about the Shell in hopes that she would gain some insight. She believed it was Rose who would give her the next clue to help her find the location of the portal. She just had this feeling deep inside her chest. Subra and Beth talked at length and Beth was feeling stronger for it. She did not feel so alone, Subra really helped. He had a familiar calming voice without all the sexual politics of talking with a man. Beth liked that. Morning came quickly and Beth woke to the sound of traffic, birds, and a stream of sunlight bursting through her window. Beth showered and dressed quickly. She felt energetic and ready to tackle the day’s challenges.
“Today is going to be a good day,” she told herself as she looked at her reflection in the mirror. “Today I’m going to take the letter for Rose with me. I will need it,” she said setting the intention. Beth prompted the front desk to call for Sanjeev. Within minutes he had arrived outside The Astor Hotel.
“Where are we going today?” asked Sanjeev as Beth strapped herself into the back seat.
“I’m assuming you didn’t get a call yet so let’s go visit the old men again. Let’s see if his cousin enjoyed the wedding?” said Beth smiling.
“No I didn’t get a call. So, back to the old men.”
They drove to the previous day’s location the small street was busier. She could see students arriving at the University and more people going about their business. The night before the fading light had made the street look quaint. In the hot, harsh, light of day, the street looked dirty and worn. The taxi sped past the University entrance sign and stopped outside of the store. It was no surprise to see the three old men sitting in the door well, in the same position as the previous night. Beth wondered if they had gone home or stayed there all night. Sanjeev did not ask Beth to follow him but she did anyway. Sanjeev noticed that Beth was standing behind him as he started to talk to the men. They talked with Sanjeev but they were not looking at him. All three stared at Beth with silly smiles painted on their faces.
“His cousin’s back and working in the grocery store across the street.” Sanjeev turned and pointed at the store. “Let’s go Miss.”
Sanjeev headed into traffic and boldly walked across the street, Beth followed. Sanjeev entered the grocery store and started to talk with one of the clerks. He pointed Sanjeev to a portly looking man quietly working at the rear of the store. He wore sandals, brown trousers, a blue shirt, and a dirty white overall tied at the waist. Sanjeev motioned for Beth to stay back as he approached the man. Beth could see Sanjeev smiling and the conversation seemed cordial. After a while the man reached into his overalls and wrote something on a label he was using to price goods. Sanjeev seemed to thank the man and headed towards Beth.
Beth couldn’t contain herself, “How did it go?”
“Well, get in the car first, and I’ll tell you what I know,” said Sanjeev with a sense of urgency. Beth followed Sanjeev into the taxi. “I need to find a place to park that’s less crowded, then we can talk,” he said. Sanjeev drove to a nearby street and parked on a quiet lane. Sanjeev turned the engine off and turned to face Beth. “That man has lived on this street for 35 years, he knew the Kalam family. The wife was b
arren and they wanted to have a child. The Kalam family was moderately wealthy and could afford to adopt a daughter. A daughter is not always desirable but the wife wanted a daughter to talk with. The grocer recalls them adopting a girl from the orphanage. His daughter “Mituraj,” used to play with the little Kalam girl.” Beth looked at Sanjeev with inquisitive green eyes. Sanjeev continued “Miss, he told me she had an unusual name for an Indian girl; Rose!”
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