Between business hours, E spent his days and nights looking for the rat. The need to avenge his life-long friend and put Skinny’s mind to rest haunted him day and night, but no one seemed to know anything. It was everything he could do to keep from shooting everyone that had ever even acted as though they couldn’t be trusted.
Alicia and Gina spent their days and night worrying about Skinny. Richard, they knew, would be just fine. He would find connections in jail. He would find a way out. It was only a matter of time.
Skinny knew this as well, but sleeping without Richard every night, not having him there to share the experiences of pregnancy with, was tearing her up inside. She still cried most days, but she tried to stay strong, or at least tried to appear strong in the presence of others. Having Richard locked up had spread enough rumors – rumors that would be reckoned with, one by one – but having rumors about Richard’s girl being weak? Well, that was something Skinny wasn’t willing to allow. She might have been able to continue her act, had it not been for the child she had been carrying.
***
Gina inserted three quarters into the soda machine and pressed the big red button labeled Coca-Cola. She stared at the vending machine full of cookies, snack crackers, gum and chips, and debated as to whether or not the strong smell of antiseptics would allow her consume one of them. Finally deciding that she couldn’t stomach it, she turned away from the machine without making a purchase. She walked back through the Jackson Hospital waiting room to where Alicia sat, elbows on her knees and head in her hands.
Hearing Gina approach, Alicia lifted her head. “What could be taking so long?”
Gina understood Alicia’s real question – it wasn’t about why it was taking so long, it was whether or not Skinny had lost the baby. “I don’t know,” she said, answering both questions.
Alicia’s head dropped back into her hands. The knot in her stomach had grown with each passing minute, and it was now making her nauseas.
Gina took a seat next to Alicia. The plastic waiting room chairs didn’t make for very comforting accommodations. Hoping to calm Alicia’s nerves, as well as her own, Gina gently rubbed Alicia’s back. Her mind flooded to thoughts of Richard. She wondered what his reaction might be like if Skinny lost the baby. A chill raced over her body and a shiver went down her spine. She wasn’t afraid, necessarily of what Richard might do, but more what the news might do to Richard.
After what seemed like hours more of sitting and waiting, a tall man wearing green scrubs walked down the hallway towards them. His gaze seemed emotionless, as though his face were set in stone.
“Are you two the family of Nicole Scott?” asked the doctor, now standing in front of them. Gina nodded silently. Alicia sat motionless. “She seems to be doing fine, although I do want to keep her for a few days to run some tests.”
Alicia and Gina glanced at each other, both noticing how the doctor had omitted any information about the baby. Gina asked the question that they desperately needed to know the answer to, but were too afraid to ask. “The baby?” Alicia continued to watch Gina, unsure if she could look at the doctor, afraid it would send her into a fit of tears.
The doctors body stiffened, as if he were standing at attention in the middle of a war zone. “The baby didn’t make it.” His features sunk as he added, “I’m very sorry.”
Alicia swallowed hard, trying to fight back the tears, but her grief won out. “Can we see her?” she asked as tears spilled over onto her cheeks and down her chin.
“Yes,” he nodded, glumly. “Just give them some time to move her over to the recovery unit. And try not to stay too long. She needs to rest.”
Gina thought she noticed the sparkling of tears in the doctor’s eyes, but then decided that it might be her own. He continued to stand there, undoubtedly waiting to make sure the news had sunk in. “Thank you,” she said quietly, choking through her tears, letting him know that he was free to go.
Giving them one last look of condolence, the doctor walked away. He stopped at the nurse’s desk and pointed towards Gina and Alicia. Gina figured he must be telling the nurses to send them back when Skinny was ready. Looking over at Alicia, Gina realized that the two of them were in no shape right now to console Skinny. Taking hold of one of Alicia’s elbows, Gina pulled her sobbing sister up from the chair. “Come on Sis.”
Alicia shot a puzzled look. “Where we going? The doctor said we couldn’t see her ‘til she got in a room.”
Gina rolled her eyes but carefully chose a pleasant tone. “I know, but we don’t want Skinny seeing us like this.” She used her hand to motion between the two of them. “She the one who just lost a baby. We need to be there for her.”
Nodding in agreement, Alicia followed Gina to the bathroom where they cleaned their teary faces and reapplied their makeup.
Just as they were leaving the restroom, Alicia’s cell phone rang. “You have a collect call from ‘Richard.’ To accept these charges, please press five. To block…” Alicia pressed the five button on her keypad without bothering to listen to the rest of the automated message. She swallowed hard as she waited for the call to connect. Gina gave Alicia an inquisitive glance, but before Alicia could answer the unspoken question, the line connected.
“Ay, Sis, you saw Skinny today?”Silently, Alicia mouthed the word Richard to Gina. “She ain’t answering her phone.”
Plugging her free ear as if surrounded by a large crowd, Alicia started to pace the waiting room floor. “Listen, don’t do nothing dumb when I tell you this…” She paused before repeating her point, out of both nervousness and a need for confirmation. “You have to promise you not gone do no dumb shit.”
Irritated with Alicia’s stalling tactics, Richard rolled his eyes as he snapped at her through the phone. “A’ight! I promise. Now what the fuck going on?”
Alicia hesitated, turned back towards Gina and made eye contact. Silently, Alicia asked with her eyes whether she should tell Richard the news. Gina gave her an affirmative nod, but her eyes betrayed the answer. Letting out a large sigh before clearing her throat, Alicia decided to go by the nod. “Skinny lost the baby, Rich.” She held her breath and waited for his response.
“Damn, Sis. Where baby girl at?” His voice was quiet, barely audible, depressed.
Stunned by his response, Alicia’s mouth hung open until Richard asked the same question again. His voice sounded even more sullen the second time. Snapping back from her surprised reaction, she stuttered out an answer.“Sh-she at the hospital.”
“You want me to call her?”
Worried that a call from Richard might make things worse but also considering the idea that it might help her cope, Alicia battled the answer in her head for just a moment.
Richard must have assumed that Alicia was trying to locate the number because he added, “I got the number.”
“Yeah, go head,” she finally decided.
After hanging up with Richard, Gina and Alicia checked with the front desk to see if they had moved Skinny to her new room yet. The nurses directed them to room 408. Taking their time, wanting to give Richard some time to talk to Skinny, they made their way towards the elevator and headed up to the fourth floor.
“Hello?” Skinny answered weakly.
“Hey baby girl. You a’ight?”
Richard’s voice stirred a wide array of emotions – happiness, fear, sadness – none of which she could control right now. “Yeah,” her voice cracked as she tried to suppress the sobs. “But Lil’ Richy gone.” Her entire body shook as the sobs took over.
“Baby Girl…it’s a’ight ya’ hear?” Richard soothed. “It’s a’ight. Now stop crying so I can talk to you.”
“Okay Richy, but it hurts,” she sobbed even harder. “He was born dead, and it’s all my fault.”
Hardening his tone, but only a little, Richard tried to calm her down, “Baby Girl, you gone make the phone hang up, so stop crying.”
Skinny inhaled deeply and held it, trying to force herself to stop
crying. “A’ight, Richy.” She sounded a little calmer now, but her voice still cut in and out with the sporadic breathing left over by her sobs. “I need you right now baby.” Greif rose into her chest and throat again, but she fought it by closing her eyes and listening to Richard’s barely audible breathing, trying to match her pace with his.
“How long you got to stay at the hospital?” he asked.
“For like a week. I gone come to your contact visit!” she reassured. “Don’t worry, I’ll be there.”
“Girl, you need to get better before you go anywhere,” Alicia interrupted as she and Gina entered the room, sitting down in the chairs next to Skinny’s hospital bed.
“That’s gone be part of my healing process," Skinny responded, shooting Alicia a look of defiance. “You tripping, Sis.”
“A’ight, now don’t y’all start that shit.” Richard was speaking directly to Skinny, but the comment was for both her and Alicia.
“Sorry, baby.” Skinny spoke into the receiver, but she glared at Alicia. Didn’t Alicia understand just how much she needed to see Richard right now?
Alicia did understand, but she also understood that Skinny had just given birth. The fact that the baby hadn’t survived was of little relevance. Her body needed time to heal. “Skinny,” her eyes pleaded as she spoke. “I love you like a sister. I don’t want to see you hurt yourself.”
Skinny’s expression softened as the love from Alicia shattered her wall of defense. “Sis, I’m gone be a’ight. I need to see him. I can’t wait.”
Alicia started to speak, but she could tell that Skinny’s concentration had shifted back to Richard. Skinny spoke into the receiver again and her features shifted back to sadness.
Skinny waited until she heard the click of the call disconnecting before shutting her phone. Sighing as she closed it, she turned her focus back to Alicia and Gina.
“When is this contact visit?” Alicia’s expression appeared disinterested, but her tone lifted, indicating both her concern and hopefulness.
“Next month, on the third. Ten-thirty in the morning,” Skinny gushed.“I got to be there at ten though to sign in.”
“Can I come with you?” Alicia pleaded. “I want to see him too.”
Skinny smiled. “He put us all on the paper to come see him.” She motioned towards Gina. “So Gina can come, too.”
Alicia glanced over at Gina as Skinny motioned. Gina’s body language and expression indicated that it was time to go. Alicia wanted to stay and keep Skinny company for a while longer, but she knew that Skinny would need to rest. As she gathered her things to go, one last question came to Alicia’s mind. “Skinny, I want to ask you a question,” she said, turning back towards Skinny.
“What’s that?” Her eyes were starting to droop. The sedatives the doctors had given her earlier were starting to take effect.
A hurt expression swept over Alicia’s face. “Why you stop crying for him but you don’t stop crying for us?”
Before answering, Skinny contemplated Alicia’s question carefully. “Sis, you know I’m him trapped in my body? What he says goes in my book.” She allowed a small smile across her face.
“A’ight then, Sis,” Alicia responded, not really sure what to make of Skinny’s answer. Chalking the strange answer up to the sedatives, she bent over Skinny’s bed, and gave her a gentle hug. “I got to go.” As she stood back up, Alicia noticed that Skinny’s eyes were filling up with tears again. “Why you crying now? Cause I’m leaving?” She was willing to stay a little longer if Skinny needed her to.
“No,” Skinny smiled through her tears. “’Cause that’s the first time you ever called me Sis.”
Smiling but not quite realizing how deeply Skinny had meant what she said, Alicia dismissed it. “Girl, I love you.” Before walking out the door, she said “bye,” over her shoulder.
“Bye Sis, I love you,” Skinny called back, her words almost missing Alicia’s ears completely as the door swung closed behind her.
As her eyes grew heavier, Skinny realized that she was officially part of the family now; not just the family that Richard had created, but the family that Richard was born to and loved. Understanding that Alicia had really meant what she’d said about not wanting to see Skinny hurt herself, she allowed the drugs to take over and fell into a dreamless sleep.
Chapter 11
Richard sat in his bunk as thoughts raced through his mind – thoughts about Skinny and the baby, about who could have sold him out, his Dad, and Dwayne. He was so deep in thought that he hadn’t heard Bam approach.
“Yo’ Rich Kid? You straight?” Bam asked for the second time.
“I’m good, Fool.” Richard glanced up at Bam. Maybe Bam could help him take his mind off things for a while. “Just thinking ‘bout some shit. Why? Wuz up?”
“You wuz up, nigga.” Bam nodded towards Richard and his bunk. “You ain’t got back on the phone all day since you got off this morning. Or off your bunk. So what’s on your mind, fam?”
Richard couldn’t help but feel love for Bam. He’d had Richard’s back since the moment they’d taken the long walk over. In return, Richard had always kept an eye on Bam’s back. But while he did feel like their camaraderie was starting to feel more like a friendship than just a relationship of convenience, Richard still wasn’t sure if he could trust Bam with personal stuff yet. “Ain’t too much, Fool,” Richard shrugged. “Everybody business ain’t nobody business, feel me?”
Bam’s face dropped with the realization that maybe he and Richard weren’t as close as he had thought. “Well,” he said, climbing onto the bottom bunk. “Come holla at yo’ boy when you get done thinking, fam.”
Even though Bam was now out of eyesight, Richard nodded in response before heading back into thought. He had to find out who had snitched on him. But how? Skinny didn’t need to be bothered with finding a snitch right now. She needed to get better. E was looking, he knew, despite the fact that he hadn’t talked to E since being locked up. But E was only one man. If Richard could figure out who had ratted him out, he could give E something to go on, a direction. But for the life of him, Richard couldn’t pin down who it might have been.
As dinnertime approached, Richard started to think that talking to Bam might not be such a bad idea. “Ay, fool,” Richard called out. Bam was talking to another inmate a few cells down.“Check this out.”
Hearing Richard’s voice, Bam told the other inmate they’d talk later and made his way over to their cell. Richard waited patiently for Bam to walk through the open cell door. Making eye contact with Richard, Bam asked, “What’s good, fam?”
“I’m trying to think of who snitched on me,” Richard mused, rubbing his chin, still trying to sort out his thoughts. “The niggas I buy work from still out there doing they thang. If it’s one of the hating ass niggas, I’ll never know ‘cause it’s not in my paperwork cause they ain’t found no dope in my house. What you think?”
Bam looked down at the floor, thinking about Richard’s question.“It might be a hoe you done shitted on,” looking up to finish his answer, “or just a hater that know too much. Might be somebody you trust or somebody you put out of business.”
Richard considered Bam’s response for a moment. From the day they had met, Richard had known that he would enjoy bunking with Bam, but the two men were definitely becoming more than just bunkmates, Richard decided. Maybe it was time to start letting Bam in; maybe he would become one of the newest family members. “Know what, Fool,” Richard smiled. “You right. That’s why I fucks with you.”
Bam smiled back, but his smile faded into a look of disturbed curiousness as a question popped into his head – a question that had been bothering him for weeks. “Fam? Why you always calling me Fool?”
“’Cause I don’t deal with names,” Richard explained, matter-of-factly. “I deal with faces and give out names. If I met you on the streets, I wouldn’t have known yo’ name was Bam ‘cause I would have given you one.”
Unsure of what
Richard’s answer meant, Bam cocked his head to the side. “That’s a good thing, right?”
Richard smiled. “Well, check this out.” He hopped off his bunk, placing himself at Bam’s eye level. “Let’s say you get jammed up on some shit you did, like me. The crackers say they know your name is Fool, then that tells me or somebody that’s around me got you jammed. And if they don’t call you Fool, but by the name everybody else calls you, then you know me and my niggas ain’t got loose lips. I aint’ no rat Fool and I’ll kill a rat that’s on my team any day.” He jutted his chin forward and nodded his head upwards in a quick motion. “Fuck the love I got for the nigga, cause a rat don’t love nobody.”
Bam nodded in understanding. “I feel that, fam. Where I’m from, niggas don’t think like that.” His comment elicited a shrug from Richard. Moving on to his next question, Bam lowered his voice a little. “I been meaning to ask you, what the fuck you got jammed with if they ain’t get no dope? I told you when I went to court everybody on the long walk there was saying you got jammed with dope and guns. I told you ‘bout that when I got back, remember?”
Richard crossed his arms, in thought, trying to decide if he was ready to trust Bam with that much information. Finally, Richard decided to give Bam a shot, if nothing else, to see how strong his loyalty was. Without a word, he started for their cell door, motioning for Bam to follow. He made his way past the line of cells and headed straight for the correction officer’s desk. Upon reaching their destination, Richard stopped and faced Bam. “Man, look here, I don’t be having everybody in my business.” Quickly, Richard scanned the area for anyone approaching. Seeing no one, he continued, but he kept his voice just above a whisper. “But I’m gone show you this anyway.” Turning to the female correction officer behind the desk, Richard smiled as asked “Ms. J? Can I see my card real quick?”
Ms. Jackson turned to grab Richard’s card. As she reached into the catalog, both Richard and Bam admired her voluptuous curves. “Here you go, Rich Kid,” she said, turning and handing the card to Richard with a smile. In turn, Richard handed the card over to Bam.
The Family Is Made (Part 1) (Thuggin In Miami) Page 10