by Allie Gail
The muscles in my abdomen tighten with dread. Is that the case here? With me? And dammit, why does the thought of being nothing to him scare the bejesus out of me when all along I’ve insisted that this will never progress any further?
“Why not?” I whisper. Obviously I am a masochist to even ask.
“Maybe because they weren’t you.”
The clenching in my middle relaxes in a swarm of butterflies.
Oh. Oh, my God. What is he saying here?
He couldn’t possibly mean…
No. Could he? No.
“Shhh,” he purrs quietly. “I answered your question. Now go to sleep. I want you having sweet dreams by the time I count to ten.”
“Shane…”
“One. Two.”
Sleep? How can he even suggest it? I know for a fact he isn’t thinking about sleep. His erection is so stiff against me I can practically feel the veins pulsing. Just to prove it I push my hips forward slightly and although I feel him twitch in response, he pretends not to notice.
“Three. Four.”
“You don’t feel sleepy to me.”
“Irrelevant. Five. Six.”
“If you want me to have sweet dreams, then give me something to dream about.”
“I know you’re tired, naughty girl. I saw you yawning earlier. You could use a nap so don’t fight it. Seven. Eight.”
“Not that tired.”
“I won’t have you believing that sex is all I think about. Nine.”
“Ten,” I whisper, wrapping my fingers around his length.
“Ten,” he repeats hoarsely.
“Definitely a ten.” Tasting his lips with my tongue, I slip my hand into the waistband of his jockeys and work my grip up and down what is undeniably a solid ten.
“You are a wicked, wicked woman,” he groans.
“I like to think of myself as persuasive.”
“That you are. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe you’re the one who’s obsessed with sex.”
“Maybe I’m obsessed with you.”
“God, I hope so.” He doesn’t waste time trying to remove my panties, instead just pushes them aside far enough to slide his cock into my core. One sublime thrust and he is all the way there, deep inside me, right where I want him. Right where he belongs. “Ah, that’s it, that’s my sweet little Felony…it’s gotta be a capital offense, what you do to me…”
My leg coils more tightly around his waist as we lie facing each other on our sides. He is gazing into my eyes, lost in the intimacy, moving his hips slowly and leisurely as if trying to prolong the feeling.
The feeling of us.
That’s all there is right now. Us. In this moment, we are the only two people in the world. No one else exists. There is nothing to pull us apart.
I wish it could be this way forever.
But I know it’s just an illusion. The rest of the world is out there somewhere, waiting to burst in like the intrusive bitch it is. Reality will set in, and life will go on, and it won’t hesitate to go on without us.
Somehow, the way he watches me, I get the impression that he’s aware of it too.
“Melanie…”
There is a sense of urgency in his voice, and I tremble with a surge of conflicting emotions as he holds me closer, crushing me against his chest. I don’t respond. I don’t know what to say. Because the only words that come to mind are the ones I know he isn’t prepared to hear.
“Melanie…God, baby…”
We drift off to sleep afterwards, curled in a tangle of arms and legs, waking sometime later just long enough to fuck ourselves into a state of lassitude once again.
I have to admit that he was right. Rainy days really are made for this.
Sometime during the night, I wake to a strange silence only to find that the savage wind has worn itself out.
In the quiet darkness, beyond the shutters, nothing remains but a tired breeze.
Heaven’s tears have finally stopped falling.
The storm is over.
“You’re leaving already?”
We just finished breakfast – if lukewarm soda and cherry Pop Tarts can be construed as breakfast – and already he’s gone around opening all the storm shutters and picking up the largest of the fallen branches scattered across the yard. Now he’s checking the oil in his car. What’s his damn hurry is what I’d like to know. Is he that desperate to leave? According to the local news, the bridge hasn’t even been reopened all that long. Couldn’t he just chill out here for another day?
“I figured you’d be anxious to get rid of me.” Grinning, he pushes the hood shut and retrieves his buzzing cell phone from the pocket of his faded jeans.
“Actually, I was kind of wishing you didn’t have to go.” I shoot his phone a dirty look and wish whoever-it-is would stop interrupting us. This makes the fifth time this morning. I’d like to send them a message saying FUCK OFF. DEAL WITH IT YOURSELF.
Glancing up from the text he’s reading, he tells me, “I’d stay if I could. You know that. But I need to get back, Melanie. I have responsibilities. It isn’t right that Ethan should have to handle everything on his own. He has a life too, and I’ve already been gone longer than I anticipated.”
“That wasn’t my fault,” I point out.
“Oh no, baby,” he chuckles, sliding the phone back into his pocket. “It was one hundred percent, most definitely your fault.”
I can’t help but smile as he pulls me into his embrace. “That’s it, blame me. Like I didn’t ask you numerous times to take a hike.”
“Are you glad I stayed?” he asks in a whisper.
“That’s a stupid question.” Reaching behind his neck, I tug his ponytail playfully. His response to that is a delicious, lingering kiss that leaves me breathless. And the pang it leaves behind in my chest reminds me of just how much I want him to stay.
I follow him back inside and stand there watching while he tosses his belongings into the travel bag. Soon every trace of him will be gone. I keep half expecting that he will ask me to go with him. Silly, isn’t it?
And yet when he doesn’t, the disappointment is crushing.
“I hate going off and leaving you here with the power still out,” he comments.
“Well, there’s not much you can do about it. Anyway, I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself. I don’t need plugs and outlets to survive.”
“Don’t forget, there are extra batteries in the kitchen.”
“I know.”
“And don’t go off and leave any candles burning.”
“What am I, eight? I’m not going to burn your house down.”
“You did a pretty good job of setting me on fire.” Looking up from his packing, he winks at me with a smirk.
“Oh, well,” I reply flippantly. “You’re insured, right?”
“The house or me?”
“If you have to ask, then it’s probably high time you stopped buying your insurance policies from Soapy.”
“Sage advice.” Disappearing into the bathroom, he returns a moment later with his leather toiletry case. “Promise me something. Stick around here, at least for today. I don’t want you going out anywhere. The news said there were power lines down all over the place and I’d feel a lot better if I knew you weren’t roaming around town.”
“I was just gonna walk down to the beach and check it out. There might be some good shells washed up onshore.”
“Now? Can’t it wait a day or two?”
“Shane, I’m not an idiot. I know enough to stay away from danger.”
“Do you?” His eyes twinkle naughtily as he zips the bag shut and slings the strap over his shoulder. “I’m not so sure about that. You didn’t do such a good job staying away from me. Now. Is there anything you need before I go?”
“I don’t think so,” I shrug, tagging behind him as he heads back out to the garage. I’m starting to feel like a stray puppy nipping at his heels. Linking my hands behind my back, I watch as he tosses the travel bag into t
he back seat.
And when he turns to face me, I know this is goodbye.
I hate goodbyes. Why are they called that? There is absolutely nothing good about them.
My arms circle his waist and I nuzzle my cheek against his shirt, breathing in his familiar scent, doing my best to memorize it. I can feel the warm pulse of his heartbeat. Sighing as he hugs me close, it occurs to me that I have never felt safer, more at peace, than when I am wrapped in these arms. It makes no sense that I would fall for this man so hard and so fast, but for whatever reason, I have. It’s as if in these past few days, he’s branded his name on my heart.
I don’t want him to go.
But, of course, he does.
Dropping a kiss on top of my head, he gets in the Tahoe and lowers the window to tell me in a gruff voice, “You have my number. Use it.”
“I will.”
“Take care of yourself, Felony.”
“You, too.” I smile, play it cool, but inside I am aching. “Have a safe trip back.”
Gazing at me with those intense dark eyes, he nods. “See you soon.”
Then in a slow crunch of tires on pavement, he is gone.
Breathing a heavy sigh, I trudge back into the quiet, empty house. But it’s grown stuffy in there and the lack of electricity provides no distractions, so I decide to keep myself busy by cleaning up the yard. Shane has already taken care of the bigger limbs, but there are plenty of sticks and small branches scattered about.
The wet grass squishes beneath my feet, soaking through the sneakers I’m wearing, and I sink into the ground with every step. I can’t even begin to fathom how much rain must have fallen. It’ll take forever for the gulf coast to dry out from this.
When I’m done with my chore, I drag one of the patio chairs out of the utility room. Kicking off my shoes, I plop down and peel off my wet socks before making myself comfortable.
I stay out there for the longest time, just hugging my knees and staring off into the distance. Thinking.
Questioning his last words.
See you soon.
~ Chapter Twenty-Four ~
The Florida state line vanished in my rearview mirror over an hour ago.
I find myself wishing the Tahoe was going in the opposite direction. Back to her. It feels like I’m walking out of her life for a second time, and that’s not my intention. That was never my intention.
With every click of the odometer, every additional mile I put between us, I can feel myself growing more and more restless. Less sure of the decision I made not to press her. Of my resolve to slow things down a bit. We jumped into this so fast. Headfirst and eyes wide shut.
The truth is, I had scripted in my head a very convincing speech illustrating why I thought she should come along. I was fully prepared to shoot down every possible argument she might come up with. As far as I was concerned, there wasn’t a single valid reason why she shouldn’t just pack up and ride to Tennessee with me. She could just as easily work on her manuscript at my place, couldn’t she?
But in the end I didn’t bring it up. Something in me, some nagging intuition, told me she wasn’t quite ready. That she needs time to think this over. A little time apart from me so she can figure out whether this is something worthy of pursuing, or whether – God forbid – the whole thing really was nothing more to her than sexual gratification.
I’ve never had a problem with being alone before – hell, I’ve always preferred it that way – but right now the solitude is depressing as hell.
It’s too fucking quiet. And the radio isn’t helping.
So I press the phone button on the MyLink screen and proceed to call the one person who serves as my connection to her.
Leah’s animated voice cuts in almost immediately. “Hey there, butt burglar! I thought maybe you blew off to Oz. It got crazy for a while there, didn’t it? Is the house okay? It didn’t get flooded or anything, did it?”
“The house is fine. So are we, by the way, thanks for asking.”
“Well duh, I knew you were or I wouldn’t be talking to you, would I? Oh my gosh, you wouldn’t believe how bad it got here last night. The power’s still out. Oh, and there’s a pine tree down in the back yard and Daddy’s been out there for like two solid hours trying to cut it up and haul it off. I don’t know why he doesn’t just call someone. You know, like a tree service or something...”
“It didn’t hit anything, did it?”
“No. It fell the other way and anyway it wasn’t close enough. Hey, is your power out too?”
“Was when I left.”
“When you left? Where are you at right now? Sounds like you’re driving.”
“I don’t know. Somewhere between Fort Deposit and Montgomery.”
“You headed home?”
“No. I just thought running all the gas out of my tank would be a fun thing to do today.”
There is a brief silence from the other end. “So you are headed home.”
I roll my eyes. “Yes, Professor Poindexter, I’m on my way back home.”
“I figured you might stop by here first.”
“Next time. I really have to get back.”
“Huh. Well, you don’t exactly sound thrilled about it. Whatsa matter, Mister Grumpypants? You stay up too late last night making up for lost time?”
That’s Leah for you. Most of the time you think she has her head in the clouds, paying no attention to her surroundings, but then she surprises you with her keen perception. Sometimes I wonder if her whole ditzy routine is an act.
When I don’t respond, she persists with, “I’m guessing you’re alone?”
“Who else did you think would be here?”
“Oh, I don’t know. A certain cute brunette from high school, maybe?”
“Melanie isn’t with me, if that’s what you’re implying.”
“I just thought she might’ve…whatever. So are you gonna tell me what the story is with you two or do I have to call and drag it out of her?”
“I wish you wouldn’t do that.”
“Why? I was gonna do it anyway. Inquiring minds want to know.”
“Don’t pressure her about this, Leah. Seriously, just…don’t.”
“Then you tell me. Are you guys hooking up or are you just friends? What’s the deal?”
“I don’t know what the deal is. I don’t know what to…where to go from…”
Something in her voice suddenly changes, and the playfulness is replaced with quiet concern. “Shane? What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
“Yeah. I just…it’s just…” Shit. What am I supposed to say here? That I’ve never felt this way before in my life and quite honestly, it’s freaking me the fuck out?
“Did something happen?”
“No. Not really.”
“You two have a fight or something?”
“No.”
“She tell you to hit the road? Is that why you’re leaving?”
“No. I just have to get back to work is all.”
I hear the huff of a sigh from her end. “Look, Butthead. You gotta give me something to work with here. I don’t know how to give you advice if you won’t tell me what’s going on.”
“What makes you think I want advice?”
“Because you called me. You never do that. You hate talking on the phone. Now are you gonna help me out just a little bit or should I give you the number of a good therapist so you can pay a hundred bucks an hour to say nothing to her too?”
“Don’t be a smartass.”
“Better a smartass than a dumbass. At least answer me this. Straight up. Are you in love with her? With Melanie?”
I gaze out the window at a colorful billboard as it whizzes past. Myrtle’s Chicken Shack – Next Exit. I’ve always wondered about that cartoon rooster. He looks way too happy about being featured on the menu.
“Something like that,” I murmur softly.
“Okay then! Finally, progress. Now we’re getting somewhere. So how does she feel about you?”
“You want me to find out for you?”
“No! What are you, high? You can’t come right out and ask her something like that!”
“Why not?”
“Because you can’t!”
“Oh…okay, whew. For a minute there, I was afraid you didn’t have a good reason.”
“Don’t ask her that, Leah.”
“Why? You afraid of what she’ll say?”
My first instinct is to protest, but the argument never leaves my lips. Maybe she’s right. Maybe I am afraid of knowing the answer.
“Anyway, I won’t have to ask her outright. I’ll be able to tell just by talking to her.”
“What do you mean?” I ask suspiciously.
“Don’t worry. I’ll be subtle.”
“You? Subtle?”
“Hey, I can be subtle.”
“Like James Bond subtle or Elton John subtle?”
“Oh, ye of little faith…would you just trust me?”
“I trusted you with my tarantula when I left for college. And let’s see…where was Amadeus when I came back? Remind me, because I keep forgetting. Was he still in his tank or was he squashed into the carpet like a spider casserole?”
“Hey, it wasn’t my fault the hairy little booger got out and decided to take a trek up Dad’s leg!” A loud snort is followed by unrestrained giggles. “I still say it would’ve been awesome to have that recorded for posterity. I never heard him scream like that before. Who knew he could reach such a high octave?”
“Yeah. Real funny. I’m sure Amadeus was in stitches over it. Why did I even call you?”
“Because you’re an idiot man and men wouldn’t be able to tell their own buttholes from a prairie dog burrow if they didn’t have a diagram of their anatomy. That’s why. Does Melly know you’re cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs over her? Did you tell her?”
“No, I didn’t tell her.” Not in so many words. I may have strongly hinted, but…