He shrugged and took a sip of his beer. “It was a good day I’m glad you convinced me to stay home today.”
Molly sighed. It would be so nice to be able to enjoy this without the threat of the Ravens finding them. “Do you really think the motorcycle gang is still after Johnny after all this time? They must have moved on by now.”
Sam shook his head. “These gangs don’t move on when money is involved. Your brother was in charge of thousands of dollars-worth of drugs. Since it was all confiscated, the gang is out both the drugs and the money. That tends to make them angry.”
“But they must know that’s a risk they take and that it’s not Johnny’s fault.” Molly wished she could talk to the enforcer guy. See if she could talk sense into him. The gang threatening her brother wasn’t going to make him suddenly produce either the drugs or the money. It was stupid. They were stupid. She slapped a mosquito that landed on her arm. It was getting towards dusk and a few were buzzing around. A steady breeze kept most away though.
“I agree but they don’t think like you or I think. If they did, they wouldn’t do what they do. Most of them are psychopaths and don’t care about anyone except themselves.” He nodded towards her arm. “Killing someone causes them about as much remorse as you felt after smacking that mosquito.”
Molly looked at where she’d squashed the mosquito and tried to muster up a smidgen of guilt, but it wouldn’t come. “It’s just a mosquito—you can’t compare it to a person.”
Sam shrugged. “That’s exactly how they think about other people. If that person isn’t important to them, they don’t have any value.”
She thought about his comparison and found it hard to accept, but Sam should know. After all, the gang had murdered his son and mother. The fact that the same people were after Johnny made her blood run cold. “If you find them first, will you arrest them? That’ll save Johnny.”
Sam turned to her, his expression intense. “I can’t arrest them without evidence. I don’t have it where my son is concerned and I certainly don’t have it in Johnny’s case. No, I plan to exact my own justice.”
He broke eye contact and stared across the yard, apparently lost in thought, she gave his knee a shake. “Sam…What exactly do you mean by justice? Why can’t you dig up more evidence and arrest him?”
Sam turned to her, his eyes still far away before they cleared and filled with anger. “Arrest wasn't what I had in mind. I've taken a leave of absence from the ATF, remember?”
“If not arrest, then…what?”
He tilted his head and said, his voice low and hard, “Don't make me say it, Molly. What would you do if it happened to Kelsie?”
Just the mention of something happening to her daughter sent a shiver through her. She would want to kill the bastard. It was a gut reaction. “Listen, Sam. I know I'd want to do what…what you're implying, but it wouldn't bring her back, and I'd just end up in prison for murder.”
Sam shrugged. “After I make him pay, I don't care what happens to me.”
“What about your friends? I'm sure they'd care.”
“Didn't have many, and the few I had, I drove off over the last year.”
She tried to hide the hurt, tugging the sheet even higher. “I know it's only been a few days, but I consider you a friend now. More than a friend.”
He glanced at her, but immediately looked away, the muscle in his jaw flexing. After several strained moments of silence, he said, “You shouldn't consider me a friend. I'm more like a cloud of death that envelopes everyone I care about.”
Molly latched onto the last part. “So does that mean you care about me?”
He bent, knees wide elbows propped on them as he cradled his head in his hands. “I'm sorry. I never meant for this to happen. My plan was supposed to involve just me and the enforcer. Now I've gone and dragged you into it.” With his face buried in his hands, it came out muffled.
Molly shook her head even though he couldn't see it. She stood and paused before him. “You didn't drag us into it, remember? That was my brother's doing. Those Ravens would have chased Johnny to my house whether you were there or not. Only if you hadn't been there, who knows how it might have turned out?”
He dragged his hands down his face and sighed as he straightened. “That may be true but if you stay with me, you will be in the middle of it.”
“But we're safe here. Nobody knows where we are.”
Sam nodded, but said, “That's the case now, but it’s only a matter of time before they track Johnny down. The night we came up here I waited for the two who were chasing us and I sent a message that I’d exact my revenge. However, I offered to let it go if the enforcer considers Johnny’s debt paid in full.”
“You’d do that for Johnny? Give up all plans of revenge?” The hope in her eyes cut into him.
“I would, but I don’t think Howard will go for it. He’s not one to accept someone else’s terms. At the very least, I still have to find him and convince him that it’s in his best interest to accept the deal.”
“I appreciate that you’re taking on Johnny’s problems, but what am I supposed to do, Sam? If they can find us here, why not just go back home?” Molly paced to the porch railing and peered into the encroaching darkness. Were they out there even now?
Sam shook his head. “No. You're right that nobody knows where you are, but Johnny and I need to leave to make sure they don't find you.”
“Leave? Where do I go?”
“Nowhere. You and Kelsie can stay here.” Sam rose and took her by the shoulders. “It's the only solution. You and Kelsie can stay here as long as necessary. As long as Johnny isn’t here, you’ll be safe. They wouldn’t make the connection. Maybe we’ll go back to your place and scout around, see if they were there at all.”
“What about my job? Kelsie's on summer break, but I only have a couple of weeks of vacation. I can't afford to lose my job, Sam. I have bills to pay.” Anger coursed through her. Her whole life had unraveled through no fault of her own.
“Molly, I don't think you get it. You can't go back there. Not now. Maybe not for a long time. The gang knows the house, and by now, they've probably combed through everything in it and know more about you than you want to know.”
“So that's it? I'm just done as a paramedic?”
“I have money, Molly. I'll make sure you have everything you need.” Sam rose and crossed to her. “Do you need something now?” He reached for his wallet, but Molly shook her head.
“It's not about money. I love being a paramedic.”
“And you're a damned good one, I know that first hand, but for the near future, you’ll have to lay low.” He brushed her hair from her face, his thumb caressing her jaw. “I'm sorry. When this is all over, we can straighten everything out.”
His touch ignited the feelings she’d been trying to suppress and she pushed past him and returned to the swing. “I just want it to be over soon. I feel like my life is on hold.”
“That’s how I’ve felt for a year.”
They sat in silence, listening to the crickets chirping, and the croaking of the frogs down in the lake. Her temple still tingled where Sam’s fingers had grazed her skin. She’d lied when she had said her life was on hold. As soon as she’d said it, she realized that with the exception of her daughter, nothing in her life mattered to her as much as Sam.
Without thinking, she scooted close to him until their thighs bumped. He rolled his head to look at her, an eyebrow raised in question.
Feeling heat climb her face, she was thankful for the dark. “Maybe I was too quick with my decision.”
“Decision?”
“Yeah, you know…about our relationship.”
He was quiet for so long she wondered if he was ignoring her, but finally he said, “I know it's only been a few days, but under the circumstances, it feels as if I've known you longer, but at the same time I don’t really know you at all.”
“There’s not much to know. I’ve already told you that I work par
t-time as a paramedic and I’m working to complete my degree, but my semester just ended. I’m taking the summer off to be with my daughter as much as I can. As you can see, I’m a single mom, so that doesn’t leave me much time to socialize. If you’re looking for excitement, you might want to keep looking.” Molly chuckled. “Well, that is, except for my brother. He’s doing his best to liven things up.”
Sam smiled. “Yeah, he is at that.” The porch was dark and shadowed now, but her eyes had become accustomed to it and a pensive look crossed his face. “I don’t want to seem nosy, but where is Kelsie’s father?”
“Do you mean, is he in the picture?” He nodded. Molly bit her lip and averted her gaze. Should she tell him? It really wasn’t any of his business and with his history with the Ravens, he might have even met Kelsie’s sperm donor. That’s how Molly always thought of him—he didn’t deserve to be called a father and certainly not a dad. She hated to lie, but then she ran the question he had asked over in her mind. He hadn’t asked who Kelsie’s father was, just if he was in the picture. Relieved that she could be completely truthful, she explained, “He saw her once when she was a month old but never wanted anything to do with her. The last few years, Kelsie’s been asking more questions about her father and I hate that I don’t have any good answers for her. How do you tell a little girl that her daddy is basically nothing but a few strands of DNA?” Molly crossed her arms and didn’t wait for Sam to reply. “I’ve run out of excuses to give her so I just tell her that her dad lives far away, but he loves her very much.”
Sam shook his head. “He’s missing out. I’d give anything…” He blinked a few times, the muscles in his jaw clenching as he turned his head away.
Reaching over she rested her hand on his knee, giving it a gentle squeeze while a lump formed in her throat.
He shifted, his gaze fixed on the woods across the road. Fireflies flickered in the blackness, and she didn’t think she had ever seen so many at one time before.
After a long moment, Sam cleared his throat and said, “I’m not looking for excitement. I’ve had my fill of that.” He glanced around and made a vague gesture towards the house. “I loved this place when I was a kid. I always wanted to live here, but we could only stay in the summer. It was my grandparents’ cabin and they lived here in the summers and went to Florida in the winters. I would come up after school let out for the summer and my parents would come up most weekends. The best times were when we were all here together. We had bonfires on the beach at least once a week and I loved fishing with my dad early in the mornings. I begged them to move up here, but…” He sighed and shrugged. “They had their jobs. I didn’t understand it when I was a kid, but I had the same excuse for Sean. My grandparents died before Sean was born and my father when Sean was an infant. My mom almost sold the house then. There was just my mom and I at that point and we didn’t come up here very often. It was a lot of work to maintain when nobody was living here, but she just didn’t have the heart to sell it. When Sean was old enough, we started spending a few weeks here again. It wasn’t much, but those were the best times I ever spent with my son. Sometimes we would come up at Christmas, too. It’s really beautiful with all the snow.”
Molly nodded. “I can imagine.” After a pause, she asked, “So, are you planning on selling the house now?” Immediately, she regretted her question. It was thoughtless and what business was it of hers? He gave her a quick glance, but in the dark, she couldn’t read his expression and he turned forward again without answering.
She studied his profile, highlighted by the soft yellow porch light. He had a strong brow, a straight nose that fit his face perfectly. She envied his high cheekbones and lips made masculine by a hint of five o’clock shadow. Kissing him was a contrast in textures with soft but firm lips and sandpapery whiskers that led to a chin with the hint of a cleft. If she could, she would stamp the image in her mind—imprint it forever—and wish they had met at different times in their lives.
He finally spoke, his voice low and husky, “I don’t know. I just don’t know.”
They settled into silence with only the sounds of the forest breaking the stillness. After several minutes, Molly said, “I hope you keep it.”
The swing creaked as Sam moved, shifting to look at her. “Why?” He sounded surprised.
Shrugging, Molly slapped her arm as she felt the sting of a mosquito. She waited a beat for guilt to kick in, but it still didn’t come, and she doubted it ever would. “I always want to picture you up here. It feels like you belong in these woods and this cottage. I didn’t know you before…before everything happened, and it probably sounds silly, but I can feel the love in this house.” Embarrassed, she stood and stepped to the porch railing again.
The swing thumped lightly against the front of the house as he rose and moved to her side. “I can’t live here for the same reason my parents couldn’t. It’s not where my job is located.”
“Are you still in the ATF? I know you said you’re on leave, but…” She hadn’t been sure when he explained but then wondered if he was allowed to reveal his status with the government agency. “I’m sorry. I seem to keep asking questions I have no right to ask.”
Sam chuckled. “You’re fine. Yes, I’m on leave and I’m not supposed to be doing what I’m doing, but that didn’t matter to me.” He leaned both hands on the railing and shrugged. “I never thought beyond getting revenge.”
“But now you’re going to just arrest him, right?
He grunted. “Yeah, but sadly, inside of a day he’d be out on bail and disappear. I’ve seen it happen before. I know it’s not what you want, but I can’t see any other solution but to take Howard down.”
Molly caught her breath as cold invaded her body as if someone had dipped her in a vat of ice water. Howard? She backed up a step, bumping into the corner of the railing. No, it couldn’t be. Ray was an ass and a jerk, and she still felt shame at how he had tricked her into bed, but he wasn’t a killer. He couldn’t be the guy Sam kept calling The Enforcer.
“Who is Howard?” She prayed silently that it was a different man with the same last name. It was pretty common, after all.
“Howard…Ray Howard…the Enforcer.” Sam regarded her, his head cocked. “Why? Do you know him?” The last was asked in a low, hard voice.
Swallowing hard, Molly gripped the railing behind her, and shook her head. She opened her mouth to tell him yes, but even with his face in shadows, she felt his hostility roll over her. “No…no, I don’t think so.” Unable to meet his eyes, she ran her hands up and down her arms, and despite the warmth of the evening, she started shivering. “I’m going to go in. It’s chilly out here.”
Ignoring his questioning look, she brushed past him and went into the house. Unsure where to go, she paused and saw Kelsie snuggled up on the sofa. One doll had slipped from her grasp and lay on the floor. The sweet innocence made a sob catch in her throat. Her daughter could not be related to the man who had killed Sam’s son. It couldn’t be true. She smoothed the hair back from Kelsie’s forehead and pressed a kiss to her brow. Gathering her in her arms, she carried her to bed, hesitating. On one hand, Sam’s bed was so much bigger, but she couldn’t bear to sleep in his bed. Instead she put Kelsie in Sean’s room. Before their trip to town, she had changed all the sheets in the house and put fresh ones on and now she was glad she had. No way could she sleep with Sam’s scent enveloping her.
After tucking Kelsie into bed, where the little girl turned over and fell back into a deep sleep, Molly headed to the bathroom. She needed time to think. Why had she lied to Sam? It wasn’t as if she felt any loyalty to Ray. Running her hands into her hair, she tried to sort through her emotions. Could Ray have really been behind the death of Sam’s son and mother? It was too much to take in. Sitting on the edge of the tub, she cradled her head.
A soft knock sounded on the door. “Molly?”
Molly jumped up and said, “Just a minute.”
“I just wondered if you were okay.”
/>
“Yeah, I’m fine. I’ll be out shortly.”
Turning the water on, she stared at herself while waiting for the water to warm. Sam would hate her if he knew. She sobbed, glad for the sound of the running water to cover her sobs. And Kelsie. Dear God. He wouldn’t even want to look at her. Protectiveness welled inside of her. She had to leave. Kelsie would be disappointed, but she couldn’t let Sam’s eventual rejection of Kelsie hurt her. She splashed her face with water, scrubbing her eyes. Besides, she was no longer afraid of The Enforcer. Even if he was guilty of what Sam accused him of, she had no fear for herself or for Kelsie anymore. Reaching for the towel on the rack, she patted the water off her face. As evil as Ray could be and might have been, he wouldn’t kill his own daughter.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Sam paced the living room. He wanted to believe Molly when she had said she hadn’t known Howard but her body language betrayed her. Why had she lied to him and why had she fled his presence?
He replayed their conversation in his mind, stopping at the point where she said he should keep the house. He hadn’t considered ever living here, but the last few days, he had felt more alive than he had since Sean’s death. Even before his son had died, he had felt disconnected. It was all the undercover work. No matter how hard he tried, he had felt like he was losing himself in the role. The one thing that had anchored him to his real life had been Sean. Sam paused in front of the bookcase and reached for the photo album, pulling it from the slot. Angling the spine across the edge of the mantel, he flipped it open to a random page.
Sean grinned out at him, his little body coated in sand, a blue plastic bucket in one hand and a matching shovel in the other. Beside him was a lump of sand with a few sticks poking out of the top. A castle. Sam’s throat ached even as he smiled at the sweet memory of digging in the sand with his son. Blinking hard, he scanned the other photos on the page. Sean holding a tiny fish up, and then another snapshot of him asleep at the dinner table, his cheeks pink from sun, his hand still gripping a fork filled with mashed potatoes. A chuckle squeezed past the ache as Sam recalled taking the picture. Afterward, he had carried Sean to bed. Closing his eyes, he felt again, the warm limp weight of his son against his chest, his head lolling on Sam’s shoulder. The memory hurt, but at the same time, joy rose in him. Joy that the memory was so pure and untarnished with thoughts of his son’s death. Even though the pain was still there, the joy tempered it.
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